Squirt - my Queen has crossed The Bridge

Yes, it does look like a cart could help Squirt. Poor little Queen. Xxxxx

Dear Leslie,
I could not see the photos,maybe because on iPad. Apollo was dealing with muscle wasting, and his one hind leg would lock up because of it. But we kept on fighting. I did water therapy for a few months, which helped and let him know we were not giving up. also laser treatment ,which is a rod used to stimulate and heal may help. I later got a red stroller which I would put him in when he could hardly walk. He did not give up and so enjoyed to be outside. NO one can tell you what to do. I did not listen to others, as long as Apollo was eating and enjoying the smells of outdoors , he was fine by me. Praying for you and Squirt. I can only give you my experience,strength ,Hope and support.
HUgs Sonja and Angel Apollo.

Dearest Leslie,

I understand the pain in your heart as Zoe and I are walking a similar road. I know in my heart she cannot stand the stress of a vet's office for laser treatment and they already told me she is too stressed for accupuncture.

The bads days break our hearts. It is a catch 22 becuase the more we try to keep them off ther feet to heal the worse the stiffness and muscle wasting gets so I dearly hope a cart will help Baby Squirt.

And for those of you wondering if our little girl likes to swim, she did a fine job of it some years back. I remember watching her videos.

Sending much love and strength to you, Leslie and thank you for the beautiful words posted on my thread.

Leslie:
I am hoping that the cart your friends brought fit Squirt. I know how you are feeling and wish I could help in some way. If Grace is eating her stool then that could account for the diarrhea. There are pills to make her stop doing that. If it's not one thing it's another! You have something going on all the time just like me. I pray this all gets straightened out and that sweet Squirty gets her cart. Blessings
Patti

I talked to Squirt's IMS on FB this weekend and they do laser treatments. However, I realized that is not an option for us since she would have to ride to Little Rock. That would be an hour on the highway then through Little Rock with her fighting to stand the whole way. After seeing the way she was Fri. night after seeing the vet, I just can't ask that of her. Laser may help the leg but it won't make her younger nor take away the ravages of her years. The time comes when all we have left to offer is our love and that time has come for Squirt and me.

John has shipped Rozee's cart and it should be here tomorrow. I hope it brightens her spirits a bit by giving her a bit more freedom.

I hope that the cart helps her!

Yes Leslie, I totally understand. (((((HUG)))))

Leslie:
I totally get it. I am hoping that the cart comes with lightening speed so sweet Squirt will have something to do now and can trek around in her cart without the worry of hurting her legs. I think they need a rest, but still need to be worked so they do not atrophy. I am praying this all works out for her as I know in my heart how you are feeling and it hurts me to think of you going thru this. Blessings
Patti

I cancelled my doc appt this morning to stay with Squirt. It was too cold for her to go out this morning early and she hasn't done her business yet - just sleeping on the floor. I have to see the dentist tomorrow as much as I hate to leave her even for a minute - but this has to be done. The appt this morning didn't have to be. I needed to be here more than I needed to be there.

I hope the cart is here tomorrow - I had my days mixed up when I said it would be here "tomorrow" in the previous post - it's supposed to be here Thurs. :o

All I want to do is sit and hold her....and that is how I have spent many hours this week.

Leslie

I totally get that you want to sit and hold Squirt, I spent many hours doing that with Woody. It is both comforting to you and I bet Squirt is enjoying it too.

You won,t be long at the Dentist and I,m sure Squirt will be fine for the short time you are away.

Hoping the cart arrives Thursday and gives Squirt back her mobility and spark.

Big hugs being sent your way and big Gentle hugs being sent for Squirt xx

I called and talked to the vet clinic this morning. Doc will come to the house so Squirt can leave from her comfort zone. I will go to the clinic and pick out her urn, etc. so that is ready to go and they will take her from home so she can be taken care of. Then her ashes will be sent to me. I think I'll go take care of that today.

"The appointment" hasn't been scheduled yet; I just want to have my ducks in a row. I've asked her communicator to talk to Squirt if she can reach her - with her mind the way it is now, I'm not sure she can. My gut tells me the time is close but I do not want to rush her - I'm totally selfish.

She hasn't eaten breakfast yet. She just stands and stares at the bowl, occasionally licking but not eating. I think I'll fry her an egg and see if she wants that - it's always been her favorite food.

I have no words for what your going thru but please keep in mind you are not alone we are all here with you every step of the way :mad:

Oh Leslie, the tears are starting to flow as my heart is breaking for you. I do hope she perks up a bit so she can at least try out her cart. I am so glad I have had the honor to meet Squirt. Healing thoughts and prayers from our house to yours...

We are going through the same trials and tribulations with Rozee... Good days and bad, good moments and not so good.

(((Love and Hugs)))

Oh Leslie. I am here too.

My very dear friend,

If it is time, Squirt will let you know. I know you're not being selfish, as you have always done what's best for Squirt. Difficult times are always hard on us. I am always here for you and with you.

((((((((((HUGS)))))))))) and lots of love and prayers.

I'm here Leslie and just the idea, well, I'm with John and just bawling at the thought.
I know you are going through the same things with Rozee, John, and that just makes it all so much harder.
It's good to have your ducks in a row, but it is all just Hard and sucks. I wish these times would never, ever come. :(
Sending you positive energy and calming breezes.
I too hope Squirt gets to at least try out the cart. What fun she might yet have.
hugs,
Sharlene and Molly Muffin

Leslie,
I am so sorry you are having to go through this. I know how you are feeling as I feel the same about Brin, one day up and the next day down but he always seems to pull through and I pray that Squirt does too. You are the least selfish person there could be and I know you will know when the time is right.
Love, Linda x

Dearest Leslie,
My hearts breaks reading your post. I know Squirt’s needs always come before yours. Squirt will tell you as Zoe will tell me. Hold her close and tell her it is ok if she cant fight any more.
Leslie, I don’t know what to say as I am not like you - eloquent in writing when someone is hurting but I think you know I am here for you and Squirt, always will be.

Are we ever ready for when it is time to say goodbye?
No.

Leslie:
I am still balling my eyes out over your post on Squirt. You will always do the right thing for her and that is a fact. I know you need to be prepared. I also thought this about my Tipper to get things in order as if anything happens to her I would shrivel up and die. So I agree the ducks do need to be in order. I just feel so bad for you as you give your heart and soul to help Squirt. Some day maybe when I am in heaven I will finally get that magic wand, but I could sure use it now! Hug and kiss Squirt for me and Tipper please. God Bless You Both
Patti

I'm here too.:o

Thanks, ya'll. I did go take care of the cremation service this morning so that is done. Now to find an urn worthy of her. She's not leaving tomorrow unless she chooses to do so. She may be here for a bit yet but I have to get ready. As much as it is tearing me apart, she deserves at least this.

Squirt did eat an egg this morning and part of her lunch. I got to remembering when I first started cooking for her as I was making next week's batch up today. I thought it would be best to put everything in a blender - but she wouldn't touch it. She would eat the individual things just fine but not when blended together. So I went and got an old fashioned potato masher and tried mashing her ingredients that way - it was a hit! Tonite I reversed that process and put her food in a blender making it more of a canned food consistency. She licked the bowl clean for the first time since she hurt her leg. Whether she will react the same tomorrow with it blended, who knows but she has had a good supper tonite.

Thanks again.
Hugs from us both.

Go Squirt, glad you got a good dinner in her. Hope the cart turns up tomorrow so she can get about again.

Thinking of you both Leslie, sending lots of love and positive energy

Bug hug and kisses for Queen Squirt

Mel
Xxxxxx

Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Squirty Glad you ate girl, keep on going and turn this thing around like you have so many times before. God Bless Your Little Heart and Kisses from Tipper and she does not give out kisses often!!

:) Squirty still has an appetite... Yay.!!!!

We have days where I have to end up grilling food for Rozee. She will very rarely turn down grilled chicken or hamburger. I end up mashing her food with a fork so she can consume it easier. At her age, she can have whatever pleases her ;) and sometimes that may take a few meal offerings .... but they are so worth it.

Well, maybe it's not her time afterall. So glad that she's eating finally!!!!

Way to go Squirt! Pleased she ate like a champ today Leslie, it must do your heart good to see that. You might already know this trick but once when Flynn was totally off his food and I was getting desperate our vet suggested an old remedy, half a cup of milk with a raw egg beaten into it so pretty simple :) and he slurped that up like it was the best food ever! I hope it might help if she gets more picky with the food. I hope tomorrow brings good news as well xxxxx

Leslie, ((((hugs)))). I am so sad to read the latest about Squirt and that you are going through this. Glad you were able to get her to eat and hope that continues. I am praying that she rallies and things turn around for her. Sending lots of love and support.

Big hugs,
Tina and Jasper

My Queen has spoken. She had rather not be released but wants to go on her own if at all possible. She knows her body is failing and there is nothing we can do about it. She wants me to stop all her meds except the Novifit so her food tastes and smells good again. She is very tired of all the medicine and vet business and simply wants to enjoy these last few days or weeks. Squirt told me what to look for that would mean she needs immediate help to go but otherwise she'd rather go on her own terms. My Queen has spoken and I will comply.

Squirt has always seen herself as my protector. One reason she has fought so hard to stay is that she is worried about me, that I won't take care of myself, that I will try to fill her void by taking in more and more babies - making things harder on me. She needs to know that I will be alright and will take better care of myself when she is gone....because she knows I don't now. She feels as long as she is still here my attention is tightly focused on her so I won't lose control. By fighting so hard to stay even when her body is so very frail she is still protecting me....from myself.

She wants to spend quality time with me and her sisters and brother for as long as she has left. Her crate time is ended. She has full run of the house tho I am very cautious with her on the linoleum. I tried putting her back in the bed last nite and she lay beside me for a while but then became restless so I had to put her back on the floor where she could roam a bit. She slept on the rug by the bed almost all night long, getting up only a few times to change position. I have oral surgery this afternoon but before that happens I'm going to make a bed on the floor so we can be together. I HATE the timing of this surgery but it has to be done...and it is part of taking care of myself. If I didn't understand how critical this procedure is, I would cancel. But I will lay on the floor with her to recover over the next few days...and for as long as she remains.

As you may have noticed, my participation on the forum has suffered. What input I have had has not been worth the cyber space it took up. I hope you understand why...and believe you all understand only too well. I will be signing out this morning and won't be back for a while more than likely....until it's time to tell you she has gone to be with her Sissy and my dad, who she is looking forward to seeing. She wants my full attention and she will get it.

I ask that you pray she leaves with ease and peace, in comfort and love. We love you all, new and old. There is no way we could have survived the last 6+ years without you. The strength, the love, the hope, the faith, the courage you all show on a daily basis has held me up during the worst of times. You will never know how very special you are to me, there just are no words to express what you mean. Your babies and you each have a special place in my heart, you have helped make me a better person, and I love you all dearly. Our family here will always be in my prayers, in my heart.

Hugs,
Leslie and the Queen of Dogdom

I leave you with two of my favorites -

From The Darkest Evening of the Year
By Dean Koontz

“Because God is never cruel, there is a reason for all things. We must know the pain of loss; because if we never knew it, we would have no compassion for others, and we would become monsters of self-regard, creatures of unalloyed self-interest. The terrible pain of loss teaches humility to our prideful kind, has the power to soften uncaring hearts, to make a better person of a good one.”

“Dog’s lives are short, too short, but you know that going in. You know the pain is coming, you’re going to lose a dog, and there’s going to be great anguish, so you live fully in the moment with (them), never fail to share (their) joy or delight in (their) innocence, because you can’t support the illusion that a dog can be your lifelong companion. There’s such beauty in the hard honesty of that, in accepting and giving love while always aware it comes with an unbearable price. Maybe loving dogs is a way we do penance for all the other illusions we allow ourselves and for the mistakes we make because of those illusions.”


************************************************** ****************

May you know that absence is full

Of tender presence and that

Nothing is ever lost or forgotten.

May the absences in your life be full of eternal echo.

May you sense around you the secret

Elsewhere which holds the presences

That have left your life.

May you be generous in your embrace of loss.

May the sore of your grief turn into a well

Of seamless presence.

May your compassion reach out to the ones

We never hear from and may you have

The courage to speak out for the excluded ones.

May you become the gracious

And passionate subject of your own life.

May you not disrespect your mystery

Through brittle words or false belonging.

May you be embraced by God in whom

Dawn and twilight are one and may

Your longing inhabit its deepest dreams

Within the shelter of the Great Belonging.

From John O’Donohue’s Eternal Echoes-Exploring our Hunger to Belong

My thoughts and prayers are with both of of you my very dear friend. I hope Squirt enjoys her remaining time. Spoil her rotten, as if you don't already do that.

I feel the same way about our cush family as you do. We're all here for you. Give all your babies hugs and belly rubs from.

I love you very dearly. (((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))

Leslie:
All I can say is God Bless You and your special girl Squirt. Just know I am grieving right along with you.
Patti

Leslie and Squirt {{{ LOVE }}}

sharlene and molly muffin

((((((Hugs))))) to you and the Queen

Loving hugs to you both.

Leslie,
I'm crying as I read this but I'm so proud of you for doing what is best for both of you.
Squirt is wise beyond her years! There are 2 of you and both of you need care. Good luck with your surgery today!

Do you have one of those inflatable mattresses? They are amazingly comfortable. That is what I slept on when Daisy had her luxating patella surgery. She had 13 staples in her tiny thigh but cried like a banshee if I left her side. She slept in her crate right next to me:-)

Leslie and Squirt.....(((HUGS))) for the both of you as you spend your remaining time on earth together....praying for a smooth and comfortable passing across the Bridge....Squirt, we will make sure Leslie takes care of herself when you are not here to help her and I'm sorry that I didn't get to meet you in person....may you and my Lady have many long conversations about how hard it was to look after us...rest well.
Love Jo-Ann

leslie and squirt, i wish you both lots of strenght for the next few days.
i was there a few weeks ago with my flynn.

Love and Hugs to both of you - you are the bravest of the brave Leslie with the deepest heart so I am wishing you strength and peace. ((((hugs))))

You are the bravest of the brave Leslie. Squirt already has everything she wants and needs. That is you loving her and you are great at that. ((((((HUGS))))))

HI Leslie

Hope your surgery was not too painful and you are back home with your Squirt and the gang, I would like to send my very best supercharged hugs full of strength to both you and Squirt, thinking of you xxxx

Sending love and healing prayers to you and Squirt and to let you know you are the bravest and most loving person ever. All of us that have lost our babies know the sorrow you are going through, but maybe Squirt will rally again and go at her own time. Love, JoAnne