Major holiday depression again this year. :o Holidays are never easy for me, but Buddy somehow made them bearable and sometimes even okay. Without him here, they suck!
OMG! I'm the grinch! :eek:
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Major holiday depression again this year. :o Holidays are never easy for me, but Buddy somehow made them bearable and sometimes even okay. Without him here, they suck!
OMG! I'm the grinch! :eek:
No Kathy, Cushing's is the grinch! :(
But I'll bet pansywag's Pansy Lou Who is flicking her paw at the grinch at this very moment, and leading Buddy and Barkis and Zoe and everybody else in a merry chase at the Bridge. :o
I've tried to post here for some time and end up leaving. Everything is so raw for me. It's almost like the first holiday season after Gia died all over again. She is gone, my dad is gone, a dear friend is gone, too many babies have had to leave this year, my mom is gone, and now Squirt is gone. I am really struggling this year.
Last year anticipatory grief kept me from doing anything that wasn't mandated. I didn't decorate, cook, go anywhere other than my brother's...and if it hadn't been for my grandson, I wouldn't have gone to their house. This year, Squirt wants the house decorated again- she missed it last year and I didn't realize until it was too late so she asked that I do it this year....and I am. With tears, sobs, and shaking hands, I am. I keep turning around expecting to see her sitting behind me, eyes shining, face grinning, waiting for the packages she can check out.
In the process of decorating I am also pulling out Christmas things to pass on to my nieces that I had put back for Gia. I have already started passing on other things to them that were to have been Gia's - jewelry for the most part so far. But I have china, crystal, linens, etc. that were to be hers that I am getting ready to give the girls. They are moving to So. Carolina soon and will be setting up their own apt. Seeing those dishes so loving handed down in my family that should have graced Gia's Christmas dinners rips me wide open. I know the girls will treasure these things and honor the memories they carry....but they were supposed to be Gia's. Every time I pass something to one of the girls, it's like losing another little piece of her.
Oh Leslie, tears are falling here right alongside yours.
Will you be able to put up your Glass Tree this year, or will that feel too hard? Your story about your tree earlier on this thread touched me as deeply as any Christmas story I have ever been told. I will carry that story along with me for the rest of my own life, too, and I will think of it and you and Gia with every special glass ornament I ever see.
For Gia. Always in loving memory of your precious baby girl.
Dearest Leslie- I don't even know what to say to try to comfort you,just BIG HUGS and lots of love and understanding being sent your way.
Squirt sent you a message that she wants Christmas, then go for it!
I wish Zoe would speak to me but she has remained silent.:(
Marianne- Christmas is wherever family is. The year hubby bought all of Zoe's birds was a new tradition for us and we had so much fun that year, even with Zoe so sick, it helped us cope.
Kathy- wouldn't it be nice if we could take the puppies and go away for Christmas? I so wanted to do that this year. Now with hubby's procedure right before Christmas and Mom having problems, it is not going to happen for sure now. I have even been measuring Koko and researching flight bags for him. I think he may be a few pounds to heavy for one bag I found. I am still keeping the faith though that one day Koko and I will fly away.:)
Hugs to you all.
Awww Addy, I'll be watching for the day when Koko's thread title changes to "Traveling Dog Around the World." Just keep right on searching for that perfect travel bag!!! ;)
Take me with you Addy!I have the perfect size bag for Koko Puff.;):D
Hey Addy, I loved reading just now about your blue outdoor reindeer. They sound so pretty and fun! :) :)
Just wanted to add that if you happen to go off on a tangent and decide you do want a decorated "thing" indoors (a new tree or even something else like a domesticated reindeer ;)), you can keep from having to block off Koko by putting the something inside a pen rather than vice versa. Barkis never, ever bothered anything on our tree. But the girls will be all over it in a second. So at Christmas-time, we set up their wire fence around the tree with them on the outside looking in. Everybody always gets a kick out of the fact our Christmas tree is inside a dog-pen...but it works!
Yes, barricading the tree works well.:D;) I did it last year to keep monkey girl away. Buddy never bothered with it. He had too much else to do. I haven't penned it this year, yet. Rosie has been stalking it though, so we'll see how it goes. I can't trust the monkey.:eek:
I did not feel like dealing with the tree either Addy. We did cuz my folks like it. They are both in their 80's and declining fast, so who knows how many more Christmases we'll have together.
It's a bright sunny day with a warm southern breeze for a change. I have so much I should be doing and could be doing on such a pretty day. Just feeling down in the dumps, though, and missing my human friends that have been lost to me this year. I think it was the Christmas card list. Seeing their names on the list, but nothing to be done for them this year. I do not want to cross them out. But there is no little check mark to be made, either. Extra cards left over with no destination. I miss my friends so much.
(((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))
I'm sure your dear friends are reading those cards over your shoulder and know which one is theirs, whether there is a stamped envelop in the mail or not. ;)
((((((((Hugs)))))))Yes, it really hurts when our loved ones are no longer with us, particularly around the holidays.:o
The tree has been up for a week and I am very much not interested in doing the decorations on it, however, but since hubby is gone till mid week, I have decided to do it, with the help of one or more bottles of wine.
I have no excuse why I am so uninterested in christmas this year. I always loved it before. But I haven't put any decorations up outside, I haven't put any up inside either, except for the lonely tree.
Maybe because I'm working nonstop it feels like. Even 1/2 day on christmas and new years eve. Hubby won't be here for the office christmas party, our last year ad the company will no longer pay for it and he has never missed it in over 20 years. Both of our go south vacations have been cancelled, due to either my BIL's injury or other factors. We might try for February but no guarantees.
And I am feeling awful for my sister who is also lonely and depressed with her husband now in a care facility on bed rest till they decide what to do next.
yea, see I read this and think gawd, this is so not how I usually am. :( I hate it and everything I try to pick myself up out of the doldrums doesn't seem to be working.
When I think of what so many are going through, the loss of friends and family, precious furpups, that just makes me sadder.
This is so definitely not you, Sharlene, and just goes to show how much stress you've been under. That is so crappy that hubs won't be home for the party, although I guess he'd not be allowed to be a dancin' machine this year, regardless :o.
When it comes to the holidays, it just seems like it is so hard to escape expectations and comparisons. It is so hard to let each day just unfold, for better or worse. Or at least it's hard for me to do that. Even though this weekend sure won't win any awards for best holiday weekend ever, I hope you will still have some moments of fun thrown in, regardless. And same for me, and same for everybody else!
It doesn't have to be the holiday in the movies or in the books or like holidays past. It is ok for it to be just a so so kind of holiday, not super, say like a Currier and Ives kind of holiday with some Hallmark channel thrown in for good measure.
And presents come in different packages, not necessarily found under the tree.
Today I was driving home very carefully, as my brain is not really great right now:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: when a thought occurred to me. A thought I had never had before. I had been telling a co worker about Zoe's story- how she knew this house and started crying as we drove up the street,jumping up with her front paws on the dash board as we turned down the lane. She knew this was home, it was like she had been here before.
When hubby and I first came to this house,I had that same feeling. We drove up the street and I knew I had been here before. We peered into the dining room windows and I told hubby "I know this house, I have been here before."
Then today driving home, I realized for the first time that the two events connected. That both Zoe and I knew this house and knew it was home. My heart soared with happiness as I felt my love for Zoe, that deep,unending love, that knew no boundary, no limits, was real and meant to happen.
I felt it was the greatest present I could have ever received. And I gave it to myself.
Must have been that bump on the head:):):)
Thanks for listening.
I totally agree! :) Thank you for sharing your awesome gift.:p Now take care of yourself girl!:eek: xxxoooQuote:
Originally Posted by addy
Yes Sharlene, not like you at all.:o I usually live vicariously through you.;) You are overwhelmed with life right now my dear. Try not to put so much pressure on yourself to get everything done. The holidays will come regardless, so try to let them unfold naturally. Maybe by the second bottle of wine, you'll begin to see ornaments on the tree and you won't have to do anything. Lol :D:D:D
Amen to that they are hard indeed. I still haven't decorated for any holiday, I just don't feel in the mood to do so. I miss my Caseybug, I miss her smile and her bright eyes, that tail that would knock the tree over if it got going too close to it. Most of all I miss her love, it is the love of a lifetime and still carries me through each day thinking of how muched she loved me. And when I need more I come to see my family here at the forum and I read a few entries and light candle and mourn with those that have come for the same reasons and reminisce about better times. Thank you to you all and happy holidays. Jill
Oh Jill, welcome to our holiday table! Some seats are empty, never to be physically filled again. But on this Christmas Eve, let us still set all the places ever so carefully with our memories and our love. And in this way, our precious ones remain always honored. It is not the same as before, and therein lies the pain. But it remains a holiday, nevertheless, because we do remember them with love. And we know what an incredible gift it was to spend time on this earth together.
For all who wish to join in, let's each light a candle and fill our family's page with honor, love and remembrance:
http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/...m?l=eng&gi=K9C
~ Always in Loving Memory ~
Marianne- I was sorry to hear you and your mom were both sick for Christmas. I hope you are both feeling better now. The New Year is quickly approaching and my wish is for your family to start it off healthy and bright:)
For all of us- I hope the New Year brings us happiness and peace.
I had a horrible nightmare about Zoe right before Christmas. I just remember that I was sobbing uncontrollably in my dream, harder than the night she died. Not sure what that was about. Hopefully that wont happen ever again.:eek::eek::eek::(:(:(:(
Anyway- our holiday thread will soon be coming to a close for another year and I know we were all grateful to be able to come here to talk.
Thanks, Marianne- for making sure of that for all of us:)
Oh Addy. So sorry you had a bad. Isn't are about Zoe. Sometimes things just creep out when least expected. The flip side is that joy and happiness too can creep in when you least expect it.
The new year is coming and I hope for all of us here that when we least expect it a smile will cross your lips, a twinkle will shine in your eye and a laugh will bubble from your heart.
Good health and joy in all our lives.
Hugs to all
Oh Addy, I'm so sorry about your nightmare, too. But hopefully it was just some sort of demon that had to be let out once and now will never return!
Thanks also for your kind words about this thread. It is a big help to me to be able to talk here through the holidays, and I always hope it may be a help to others, too. This Christmas did not turn out the way I had planned, that's for sure. The good part is that I had actually gotten most everything done early because I was planning to savor some special time with my mom -- having her here at the house beforehand to enjoy some little rituals of baking and decorating, etc. Each year now, I can't help but think that this may be the last one we have together. So I had really big plans to make it special. But when will I learn that expectations are just SOOOOO dangerous...
Things didn't turn out that way after we both got sick, and she hasn't yet made it over here to the house at all. We did our best on Christmas Day at her apartment, but it was not what I had planned or hoped for, that's for sure. I kept thinking about what you'd said about going with the flow, and I did my best with that. But I would be lying if I said I was not disappointed. And I'm still feeling pretty low. Just really feeling all the losses of the year kind of piling on, and wondering to myself what next Christmas will be like.
Somehow, New Year's has never been my favorite, ever. Once again, probably because of expectations. It's supposed to be such a dressy, fancy, bright and shiny night and I usually just want to cocoon and stay off the road away from all the crazy drivers! But maybe since my expectations are so low already, this New Year's will turn out to be a good one :rolleyes:. Hopefully my mom and I will both be feeling better, and maybe hubby and I will venture out for some fun, regardless.
Above and beyond anything else, I will surely join in the well wishes for all our family here -- may 2015 bring some much-needed and much-appreciated health and joy for all!!!! And as Sharlene says, may it bring some unexpected treasures just when we each need them the most.
Marianne- are you sure you don't have fluid in your ear? Whenever my ears hurt for an extended period of time it is from fluid in my ears. 10 days is a long time to be sick. Though I did cough for 4 months from allergies. But I did not feel sick.
We have not been out for NYE since the year Koko and Zoe ate Koko's pad in his belly band:rolleyes: I think that was 2008.:o
I always wanted to do one of those hotel parties with food and music and dancing. My bucket list has attending the Vienna Ball so I can wear a white long dress with a red sash:):) Never going to happen!!!!!
I don't blame you for not wanting to be out on the roads, we feel the same way.
Feel better soon.
I think I probably do have fluid in my ear. But I don't have a fever and it doesn't hurt, so from what I read online there probably isn't much to be done about it other than wait it out -- which apparently can take quite awhile. :(
I hate to go to the doctor right now and expose myself to all the other horrible bugs that are out there :eek:. But if I'm still ailing after New Year's, I will probably have to bite the bullet and go in.
My New Year's fantasy is to be like Nick and Nora from "The Thin Man" and to take my dog into a fancy NYC nightclub and drink martinis and dance the night away to the Big Band, looking just as sleek and svelte as Myrna Loy, without a care in the world. :o
Marianne,
I have one ear that's always filling up with fluid. Have you tried popping your blocked ear to clear your eustachian tube? Most of the time this does work, but only clears it temporarily. It usually fills up with fluid quickly again. You can do that several times a day safely.
You hold your nostrils closed, then blow like you do to when you blow nose. Since the air cannot come out your nose, it is forced through your ears, thus clearing your tubes. Chewing gum also helps open up your ears allowing your tubes to drain.
If either ear starts hurting or is painful when you pop it, you need to see a doctor because you probably have an infection and need antibiotics.
I hope you feel better soon.
Wait, I'm still on Nick and Nora
I have to google that:D
Like others, some of my family got sick so we had our gathering with the boys at my house today. And with this, the Season comes to an end for me today. The boys had a good time and seemed to enjoy their gifts!
In years past, I would call my mom after going home Christmas Eve and several times caught her crying. I didn't understand why. Now I do. All the effort and work and thought she put into just those few hours and when it was all said and done, her kids weren't there. What she wanted most of all was our time but we always had other places to be. There is such an empty feeling when the gifts under the tree are gone, left-overs to put away, and all those you love most are not at your side. For all the frenzy, something should change yet when the dust settles, our lives are as they were before the storm.
Addy, here's Myrna Loy (Nora), William Powell (Nick) and Asta their dog (who always got to go with them everywhere, including the Waldorf). :)
http://pre-code.com/wp-content/uploa...hin-Man_01.jpg
Kathy, I think my ear is actually a little better, in which I rejoiced for two hours before sprouting flashing lights in the corner of one eye :( :(. So I will be calling the eye doctor first thing in the a.m. to evaluate. Wonder who will be "on call" during the holiday week --probably Doogie Howser...:rolleyes:
I hope alcohol is not a no-no with a retina problem, because I am fixing to mix that martini right now, with or without Nick and Nora!
And turning to what you wrote, Leslie, it is so very poignant and so very true for me, too. Even when the holiday itself has been glorious as in years past for me, there is such a quiet and a void and yes, an ache, when it is all over and done with. If only our pain was as fleeting as our joy sometimes seems to be.
Yo Marianne!!!!
Yes, PUT THAT MARTINI DOWN!!! Whose the mother now??? We kid on the forum about having a drink. If the truth be told, I do not drink and have not for more than 20 years. This is due to the same reasons below. Not good to drink when you suffer from chronic migraines or have eye issues due to a possible detached retina.
"* Avoid alcohol, coffee and excess salt, because they constrict blood vessels; alcohol also consumes surplus oxygen from the blood, so making the vision blurred. Also avoid yeast products as these cause fatigue due to gut fermentation which produces alcohol."
When I ended up in urgent care last year with whooping cough the day after Christmas, I Was seen by the Chief of Staff. He was a very nice Jewish doctor who didn't celebrate Christmas. That's always a possibility. But of course, there will be many little Doogie's running around too. ;):DQuote:
Kathy, I think my ear is actually a little better, in which I rejoiced for two hours before sprouting flashing lights in the corner of one eye :( :(. So I will be calling the eye doctor first thing in the a.m. to evaluate. Wonder who will be "on call" during the holiday week --probably Doogie Howser...:rolleyes:
I hope alcohol is not a no-no with a retina problem.
Seriously, no more alcohol until you see the doctor, please!
Well, our holiday season is truly coming to an end now. Thanks so much to all who stopped by to support one another here this year. This is what our family does best -- we watch out for one another both in times of joy and sorrow. I think that is one of the very best holiday gifts that can ever be given.
May 2015 bring peace and comfort to all who are suffering, and also special -- perhaps even unexpected -- moments of hope and joy to us all!
Best wishes,
Marianne
Happy new year everyone. Peace and joy to all.
Hugs
Happy New Year to everyone! I hope that 2015 is filled with health and happiness for us all.
Love, Linda x
Happy New Year Everyone!!!!!!
I know we will all find joy and special moments no matter what life throws at us.
Thank you all for being well-----you:):):):)
WELCOME 2015!!!!!!
Happy New Year to all of you too.... please read my thread.
Happy New Year everyone!
I hope you all are blessed in the coming year! This past year was tough for so many, I pray 2015 is much better for everyone!
{{hugs}}
This is so beautiful - thank you. I just lost my Wrangell in November to lymph node cancer. It has been unbearable. In addition, I just discovered my girl Shelby has cushings, which lead me to this site.
Oh, you are so welcome. And welcome to our forum and to our family! I am so sorry about your loss of Wrangell, and also sorry to hear that you are now dealing with issues with Shelby. But we are here to support you as much as we can, in all ways. If it would be a comfort to you, please do feel free to open a thread in honor of Wrangell here on our "In Loving Memory" forum. We have many beloved honorary Cushpups who can be found here. :o
Also, we'll be anxious to see you start a thread for Shelby on our main "Questions and Discussion" forum. I can't wait to meet her! :)
And I want to mention to everybody that of course there are far more holidays in the year besides those we have just now celebrated. And some that are especially poignant when it comes to our furbabies, like Mother's Day and Father's Day. So please, anybody and everybody, do feel free to continue posting to this thread at any time throughout the year. The door is always open!
Marianne
How is it possible that another year has flown by? But here we are, poised to enter another holiday season. So once again, the door to our "Holiday House" here swings wide open. Just as I wrote last year, all will be welcome, and all our loved ones will be honored. Always.
Quote:
Originally Posted by labblab
Hello All:
It's been exactly one month since I last held my Fritz in my arms. Time seemed just to slow down but really flew by. As much as I don't want to do the Ho Ho Ho thing this year. It seems that it is something that has filled my time.
I have shopped, baked, written cards and letters, and decorated 4 trees. The first and last tree was the hardest. It was hard to start with the first and the last had all the ornaments to commerate each year we had with our pups. Every year we bought an ornament from Petco to celebrate our lives with them. Then came the Angel daschund ornaments. Needless to say tears were shed when I found the first years ornament and the Angel ornaments.
Fritz loved Christmas and Santa dog. He loved the tree going up and hated it coming down. He loved the cookies baking and the prime rib on Christmas Day. Somehow, he knew the meaning of Christmas and always gave us the best gift, his love.
Tonight, we are going to a hospice event to remember my dad. We submitted a picture of him on Santa's lap holding a toy rifle when he was a little boy. So PC incorrect. As they flash his picture and read his name, we will place an ornament on the hospice tree. It's been 11 months since he has passed and last Thanksgiving was the first and last of all the lasts. He passed away less than a month later.
Yes, this Christmas will be difficult and I have been told to do as much and as little as possible. Busy works and is working. I miss my Fritz and never realized how hard things would be after my dad passed.
I am trying to forget 2015 and move forward to 2016.
Can we just skip December?
Marge