Introducing Fraser - our sweet Fraser has crossed The Bridge

Hope your sleeping in! Hopefully catch up on the weekend and that Fraser has continued the week like he started it with a spring in his step :D xx

Well I've had doubts, but Fraser made it to his birthday. He turned 14 on Monday this week.

The horrid thing is, as I've had a feeling since late last year, his time has pretty much come. I've just had this thought that it would be around the time of his birthday and I think I am right. I've known this for a few weeks I guess, even my sister said to me the other day "he's pushing sh*t uphill now" in other words he's not going to bounce back again. He hasn't fully bounced back since that big bout of vomiting a few weeks back, it took the stuffing out of him completely.

He is so emaciated, there is nothing left of him (even his gums are skinny), he is nauseous pretty much all the time (though I try to keep the nausea meds up so he doesn't feel it - they are still working if he gets them every 5-6 hours) but I can't keep him going, it's not fair to him. I am on holidays as of the end of this week and have pretty much come to the conclusion that it has to happen in these holidays, for his sake, for mine and for Ozzies. It absolutely kills me to have to do this, I spend more time in tears than not at the moment, especially as he has become both feisty when at the park and cuddly when at home. He is not acting sick when we go out, but he is exhausted by the time we get home. His fur is falling out more too, he left a big clump on the carpet where he was rolling and wiping his whiskers after dinner, and when I ran a come over him this morning it came away with a heap in it. And his mouth and breath are just vile, the smell is so bad. It's not something that can be fixed though, it is the internal issues.

He is still eating but I don't know where it goes. He doesn't poop a whole lot and he certainly hasn't put on any weight. He was lying on his side on my bed next to me a few hours ago and I ran my hand over his tummy. I can feel (and see) the borders of the tumour now it is so big and hard. He is becoming jaundiced and has started some very weird behaviours. He walks outside and stands there and barks - he doesn't normally do this, it has just started in the last week. He also charged and snapped at another dog at the park yesterday - now admittedly the dog was trying to take the toy out of his mouth, but Fraser went on the attack and kept chasing for a good 10 metres! My sweet boy doesn't do that! Growl or snap maybe, but not charge! The number of times in the past he has just let another dog take the toy straight from him is unbelievable, for him to do this now is not right.

And yet at the same time he was so sweet this morning, stood for 5 minutes just so I would keep rubbing the side of his neck. He clearly doesn't want me to go to work in the morning, follows me everywhere and tries to stand on my feet to keep me in place. He's always followed me, but this is extra clingy. I don't know if it's because he knows I am so upset or what, but things are changing. When his energy is up he will jump on me to demand being taken out for a walk. It has been really stormy here in the last week so he missed a couple of days walks.

I guess I am thinking that by doing it in the holidays it will give me a little bit of time to stay with Oz. I don't know what to do with him though? Do I take him with me to the vet so he knows Fraser is gone or does Fraser just disappear and not come home? If I take him though, will that just traumatise him on going to the vet in future? Do I see if the vet can come to my house? But I don't know If I can handle seeing him then being taken away. I've had this before and seeing my baby being placed into a bag would destroy me.

I haven't spoken to my vet yet, every time I even let myself think of it I breakdown in tears, I don't want to lose him but I know there is no choice. I would rather him not feel worse and still have some joy in his days than to see him suffer any more than he is. What do I do? Not to mention I am crying around him so much that I don't want him to become anxious as well. I try not to but it's too hard, as you would all know.

Oscar is booked in for a haircut with his cousin Gracie on friday next week. The only thing I know is that I don't want to do it before then as Oz will be grieving too and I don't then want to have to leave him somewhere for hours. Though he loves his groomer and Gracie, I still think it would be too hard for him, but then I don't know what to do with him when it's time. When I have to go back to work after the holidays (2 weeks) I will be taking him to my sister's house and leaving him for the day with Gracie. He stays there fairly often if I have concerts, or when I went to Singapore for example so he is as comfortable there as he is at home, and he loves them too so he won't be by himself during the days, but it will still be a change for him. He is an independent little boy, but 13.5 years is a long time, he has never been without Fraser. (Fraser is 6 months older than Oz) I just hope he will settle with Gracie during the day.

At this point any advice is appreciated, how do I handle this for Ozzie?

aw, Naomi, my heart is breaking for you all. :( I know where you are and it is a very tough place. I can share our experiences with our Ruby when it came her time.

She had been sick for a while and the vets could find nothing wrong, but she continued to decline. The time came when we knew it was unfair to keep her and we made "the decision" to take her in to the vet. We invited family and friends over to spend some time with her during those last days. We fed her any and everything she wanted and as much as she would take. We sat with her for hours on end, talking to her, grooming her, just touching her. We made sure our other babies got to spend time with Rube during these days and on "that day" we brought them all in for one final visit.

We brought her body home and lay her in the garage. Then we brought the other babies in to see her and we once again caressed her soft fur. It seemed to help the other babies to see her after she was gone and to watch the burial. Crys seemed to miss her most but didn't mope long - she seemed to understand.

My thoughts and prayers are with you during this most heart-wrenching time. Enjoy your sweet boy all you can, make memories you both can cherish til you meet again, and know you are guided by your love for Fraser. For only a love like yours could cause such pain.

Hugs,
Leslie and the gang

Naomi:
I read your post , I feel so bad you are in this position. It would seem for most of us on here we will walk in your shoes one day. I cannot imagine the thoughts racing through your mind. It is a terrible position to be in, but who would do such a brave deed but one of us? My heart aches for you, and I will be praying that whatever you decide you will be at peace with. God Bless You and your dear baby. Blessings
Patti

Thanks Leslie, ideas help. I think Oz does need to know, but I don't know how go handle it. I will have Fraser cremated, not buried so don't know yet what I'll do, but that helps, thankyou.

In the meantime I just added a couple of pics I took on Monday for his birthday. Looking over his other ones, I can see the changes in his face, even his nose looks skinnier, but he still has those eyes that drill into me. He was also very tired when I took those photos, he had been playing hard with his toy at the park for nearly an hour (as in sitting on my lap while munching his toy and playing bouts of tug), brand new toy that he gutted with great delight. I don't know who taught him that, Gracie or Flynn! (Yes Trish! Your boy is long distancing his bad habits)

That's what makes this hard, he has so much spunk still, yet I know he feels awful. I came home yesterday to find him dry heaving in the backyard, no midday meds when I'm at work, I try to rush home soon as I can so he doesn't go too long without, but even then they wear off faster than I get home. The meds take roughly 45 minutes to kick in after which he is obviously feeling better, but two weeks ago we were getting away with 2 a day, now we are at 3-4 a day. It's getting worse. That's why I know he can't keep going, I don't want him to have to feel like that, and he doesn't get the energy spike that he did with them in those first few days either. His system is obviously just working too hard now.

Anyhow, I also added another pic, this one of cousin Gracie. She loves eating rice. I always smile when I see that pic. It was about 8 months ago but I thought some might get a chuckle out of it. Sometimes we just need to smile.

I can see what you mean Naomi. When I put the pictures side by side, you can tell a difference in Frasier. I was just thinking that I am so glad you had the pictures done when you did. That was a good call.

My heart just breaks though to hear of Frasier's decline. He is such a fighter, that it just makes it harder to realize that there are decisions that will have to be made.

I don't know how one goes about that final good bye because of Oscar mainly. With my Tasha, we took her to the vet and I stared into her eyes and rubbed her ears till after the final breath was taken and then I cried, but I didn't while she was still with us, because I didn't want to upset her or her last thoughts to be worry for me. I know that sounds strange, but she was golden and thought her job was to protect the world and worry about it.

Hopefully Oscar, hanging out with Gracie will be okay for him. It is being home that will be hard I think. Not just for Oscar but for you as well. There is no good way to really prepare I guess. Maybe how Leslie did it, but it still breaks your heart to even think on it.

I hate that this time is coming quicker than you or anyone can possibly be prepared for. You just do the best you can Naomi. Spending time with him is the greatest gift of all and I'm glad you're going to have a some time off work coming up.

Happy Birthday Frasier! Have a belly rub from Molly and me.

hugs,
Sharlene and Molly Muffin

Oh Naomi,

My heart is breaking with yours. I had the same dilemma as you, didn't quite know how to let my Bear know that Harley would be passing. I decided to cut some of Harley's hair off and let Bear sniff it and then he watched me put the hair in a small box. I really don't know if that helped Bear realize that Harley was gone but I hope it had.

Sending you tons of loving and comforting hugs, Lori

Happy Birthday, Fraser!!

Happy Birthday Frasier! I am so glad that he made it to his birthday.
My heart breaks for you Naomi. Yes, it will be hard for Ozzie to understand, but you'll both get through it together. Your boys are blessed to be adored and cared for by you. Sending tons of hugs and love your way. Xxxxx

Naomi I haven't posted to you before but I was reading a little bit about your story with Fraser and it broke my heart. I am so very sorry you have to go through this. I don't know if this will help or not but when it was time for my dogs to cross over I wanted them to be at home with the other dogs. It didn't work out that way though. 2 were able to pass at home and 2 we had to take to the vets. They all passed in their beds with their favorite blanket which they were cremated in. Even though we had to change our plans and go to the vets office we took the other dog with us to say the final goodbye. I've had 4 deaths so far and you will know what you want to do when the time comes. I've read it is a good thing for the companion to smell the dog when they have died. I don't know if it helped mine to do that but I was really glad they were there at the time of death. I hope you get the strength you need to make the best decision for you, Fraser, and Oscar

I was just remembering others who have had the vets come to their homes, in the back yard or some place they were happy and comfortable at and that way didn't have to do the trip into the vets office.

I don't know if your vet would do that but it might be worth checking out.

hugs,
Sharlene and Molly Muffin