Molly, 13 yr, shih tzu - lhasa aspo - Molly has passed

As Shana so rightly pointed out yesterday, none of us can know exactly how you are feeling. For me, though, when Barkis died the silence and emptiness of the house was the very worst part and seemed inescapable. I had left my job a couple of years earlier, so I had been home with him 24/7 through all the hardest days of his illness. Suddenly there was nothing for me to do, and nowhere for me to turn for distraction. Oh how I suffered. That's why Peg was my saving grace when she came to us even earlier than expected. This time, losing her has also broken my heart. But having Luna still here with me has allowed things to be somewhat different. I still have a schedule, there is still a companion nearby, the house is not quiet. The hours of each day are more bearable even though the grief remains.

I don't know whether the kids and their cats are still slated to take up temporary residence with you. If so, I also don't know whether that will help or make things harder. The house won't be quiet, that's for sure. But you also won't have the peace and space to grieve for Molly as you otherwise might, and that may be rough. But the kids and the cats are a part of life, and I do believe one of the lessons our pups are here to teach us is to live our lives to the fullest. To embrace the moment. So if the kids are still coming, I surely hope they will end up being a positive distraction from the pain of your loss. I guess you will find out soon. :o

Continuing to send you and Daniel my warmest thoughts.

The cats and the kids are still moving in, probably mid October till their house can be moved into, they are hoping before Christmas.

I agree, it is the silence and emptiness that is the heart breaker.

This morning has been tough. I had to tell my house cleaner when she came today. She and Molly adored each other and have seen each other every week for the last 5 years. It was not an easy thing to do and she too is heart broken, so we are both going through the house in tears. I'm going to need way more boxes of Kleenex.

Yesterday I mad the final arrangements for molly with the vet and she should be home next week.

I don't know if it will be better or worse with the kids here. Right now I am still in the don't want to see anyone stage. I can type about molly but I can't speak the words without breaking into tears. Daniel and I both are just trying to find our way. He told me we will be okay and we'll make it through this. It's just going to be a long road and take time. Somehow we will learn what our new reality and daily lives will be like without her. It just seems so unimaginable right now.

It's not that I want her back (although I do) it is that I want her back the way she was before she got so sick, because i know at the end, she was ready to move on and she was tired, her body giving out. That was no life.

But oh, the molly before she got sick was such a joy to know and share your life with. She was always so happy. I never in my life have seen such a happy dog all the time and playful and demanding. If she didn't like something she let you know what it was and how she wanted it fixed.

I think her personality was so big that it makes her not being here even harder to come to terms with. I know that is the case for both Daniel and myself. The silence is just deafening.

I haven't gone into the office this week. Today is my first day back, working from home. I don't know how I will deal the first day I come home and she isn't at the door to greet me. That has been especially hard for Daniel already. I tend to start hyperventilating when I have those moments of not seeing her at the door and so I'm trying to learn how best to deal with that. I've only gone out in the car once and that was to the vet yesterday.
I've only ever done that when I got claustrophobic.

Her window seat that she loved so much and spent time every day in, we have made into a different area for her, with her picture and her toys on it. We'll add a few plants, but it will always be mollys window seat.

I am the kind of person who likes to have reasons and explanations. I like things to make sense. I think that's partly why I was so blind-sided by the intensity of my grief over Barkis. It far defied any experience of death or loss I had previously suffered. And "over a dog?" as some people might say.

I now know I can't understand it in any rational way, but I do believe the relationship between human and beloved dog is different from any other relationship. (Mind you, I grew up with cats and I adore cats. But dogs are different). There is some bond that is so deep and magical. I think it must spring from some instinctive memory passed down in our DNA from the earliest humans and the first dogs huddled together around the firepit. That is why it feels to us like a part of us dies right along with our dogs.

I know I cannot ease your pain in any way, Sharlene. But I truly hope that you will keep writing to us and telling us how you and Daniel are doing. Because when we say "we understand," it's because we have felt that same deep and abiding love, and then the loss. Many people in the world have never felt that, and so they try to minimize or gloss over what has happened. But we will never do that. Molly's loss is huge, and we know it will take a long time for you to find your new path forward.

It definitely leaves a huge whole in your heart when you lose them, even though we know the decision that we've made to release them was the right thing to do it does not make it any easier, their loss is still so very hard to deal with.

When Sampson passed, my cat Alex, was my saving grace. Growing up Alex was never a lap cat, he'd sooner swat ya than let you pet him. However when Sampson was gone it seemed that Alex knew I was so sad and he started to be more loving and would even climb up on my lap. Sampson always slept in the bed with me and when he was gone I just couldn't bring myself to sleep in that bed without him, so I would fall asleep in my recliner in front of the TV. Many of nights Alex would jump up on my lap and we would sleep on that recliner, which we still do.

Your whole life changes when you lose your beloved furbaby and it takes time to fall into a new routine.

Sending you and Daniel tons of consoling and loving hugs.

More hugs and love, Lori

That is how it is for me with Lena. I have had so many birds, cats and dogs in my 60 years, and I have loved each of them dearly.

But Lena was my heart and I still can't talk about her without crying. Like you, Sharlene, I can write (and cry), but to speak the words out loud brings on sobbing that is uncontrollable...so of course, no one will bring up her name and if I do, I can empty a room in a matter of seconds.

If I hadn't had the other dogs, and then Sibbie, to take care of, I would probably still be on the couch where we spent so many of our mornings and nights together. I get anxious now when I am out of the house and only feel better when I pick Sibbie up from my husband's office and get home to Gable, Cooper and Doree, where all my memories of Lee surround me.

But to love and be loved by one of our fur babies is such a wonderful gift. Losing them is awful, they just don't live long enough...

Thinking of you and sending comforting thoughts....

My heart just aches for all of you who have experienced the loss of a pet, only to be confronted by the silence of an empty house. When our first real dog Jupiter passed, our home was still full with Visuddha and our new puppy at the time, Jackson. I do know the silence of an empty house from when my kids left, but even then, I still had the dogs and cats to care for and keep me on a regular routine. I honestly can only imagine how difficult that is for you now.

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, with much love.
Shana

I think that is the biggest problem I am having. There is only Daniel and I now and no other pets in the house. Nothing moves or makes that noise or needs attention or to just be loved on. It is killing me that silence.

When I am here alone, as I am when I work from home, I start to feel nauseous and panicky. I just don't know what to do with myself and so I am doing all kinds of things to keep me busy.
Joan, I know that sobbing well, as probably does most of my neighbors as I go outside so often because the house is unbearable to be in. Then I end up sobbing out there. I'm sure they can hear me as I can't seem to quiet it down once it starts.

That's it of course, Molly was my heart dog. I loved Tasha but I don't remember it being this bad with her loss. Tipsy was my heart cat and I haven't been able to to have another cat after him. His loss, also kidney failure, I didn't get out of bed for days.

My friend told me much the same thing Marianne, he has had cats but the bond he had with his dog went beyond anything else. It must go back ages and ages to human - dog bonding, as it really is so profound. I know Daniel was not at all ready for what he feels and felt for molly. He is beyond devastated and I don't think he ever wants another one it has hurt him so badly. I don't know if I can do that, I need animals in my life somehow. He swore after Tasha no more, then I was so sad and lonely without one that he gave him. He in fact picked molly out of the rescue, put her in his arms and never put her down till he finally had to hand her over to me to drive. His bond was instantaneous and it never became anything other than all complete. It was like that for both of us. I imagine it is why we are both having such a hard time now.

I can sympathize with the recliner Lori. My problem is that molly always woke me up from the recliner and said, mum time to go to bed, take me upstairs. She would huff at me till I woke up and then walk to the stairs and wait for her "lift" up. In her younger days she would growl while sitting on the steps till we came to bed with her. She never wanted to go alone.

Oh for those days back, what I wouldn't give.

My dear sweet Sharlene
I am crying while writing this, in shock, in pain. Our sweet Molly Muffin may she be free. I will post later. You have been so strong for so many of us. Now it is time for us to be there for you ,a shoulder to lean on an ear to listen, love to comfort you. I always pictured Molly as a spunky, very independent little girl. I feel somehow she told me to post. I usually do not come here very often. I am devasted for your lose. I always enjoyed hearing about Molly's little victories.
I will post later.
In memory of Molly's star .
Love Sonja,Apollo

This is for you and Molly

Quote:

---

There's something missing in my home,
I feel it day and night, I know it will take time and strength before things feel quite right.
But just for now, I need to mourn, My heart -- it needs to mend.
Though some may say, "It's just a pet," I know I've lost a friend.
You've brought such laughter to my home, and richness to my days.
A constant friend through joy or loss with gentle, loving ways.
Companion, friend, and confidante, A friend I won't forget.
You'll live forever in my heart, Sweet Molly

Dear Lord, please open your gates and call St. Francis to come escort my Molly across the Rainbow Bridge.
Assign her to a place of honor, for she has been a faithful servant and has always done her best to please me.
Bless the hands that send her to you, for they are doing so in love and compassion, freeing her from pain and suffering.
Grant me the strength not to dwell on my loss.
Help me remember the details of her life with the love she has shown me.
And grant me the courage to honor her by sharing those memories with others.
Let her remember me as well and let her know that I will always love her.
And when it’s my time to pass over into your paradise, please allow her to accompany those who will bring me home.
Thank you, Lord, for the gift of her companionship and for the time we’ve had together. And thank you, Lord,
for granting me the strength to give her to you now. Amen.

---

in memory to Molly
Love Sonja and Apollo

Oh, Sonja...that is so beautiful...and I'm at my desk crying again. Thank God my coworkers have learned to ignore the sniffling coming out of my office.