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Patti,
I wish I had some knowledge to share but I don't know enough about this to help. Just wish you and Tipper weren't going through this. So many contradictions and confusion about the diagnosis have made things difficult to figure out. I really hope the vet, the IMS or both, along with the experts here will be able to guide you to a treatment decision.
Hope Tipper had an okay day after all yesterday's long day. Hoping you can get some sleep tonight too.
Barbara
Patti,
one step at a time. Find out exactly what you're dealing with. I would write down your questions and insist on answers during the consult.
HUGS
Prayers and hugs to you and Tipper.
One day at a time hon, sending hugs and prayers, you are doing great
Patti,
Buddy did not have the same problem as Tipper, but I did take him for a consult with a a neurosurgeon and two neurologists. Yes! The price of surgery would have been way out of my price range, but they felt he probably wouldn't be a good candidate for it anyway, as he was already having advanced neural symptoms. Even though I did not go that route, it was money well spent. It answered many questions that I needed to know in order to formulate a plan for Buddy. That neurosurgeon at the specialty hospital that I couldn't afford, ended up working with my vet and overseeing Buddy's care until the end. Anyway, the reason I told you this story was to recommend getting the consult anyway. It will give you a more complete picture in order to devise the best plan possible for Tipper's care. It is okay to admit that you can't afford thousands of dollars. All any of us can do is the best we can.xxxxxxx
Hi Everyone:
After a nite of virtually no sleep we are up and at it again. Tipper did walk this morning. This is the first morning in a long time I did not want to get up. At this time I prefer sleeping if I could so my mind shuts off. I cannot hardly deal with thinking of all this as when I see my girl I cannot help but start to cry, and I go away from her so she does not see me. I guess I was living in a little protective bubble where nothing could penetrate. Now I am forced back into reality with all of this uncertainty. I will start writing my questions down for the consult. Kathy I am taking your advise and going. The uncertainty of things right now is what is really making me a nervous wreck. Last nite I thought to myself what if the round object on the screen as big a s a fifty cent piece is in fact the tumor??/ If it is it is very large, and I would see no other way than for it to come out. It was not even there on the last US. I still have not heard form the IMS on the questions I asked her. Now that I think of it she never offered to tell me the size of the tumor. Maybe she was not going to unless I asked as she thought it would be too much for me to handle. I have asked her in the questions I emailed her. In the midst of all this the vets office was supposed to order my Lucky's medicine for his gallbladder a week ago and they keep telling me it is not in. I am completely out of it and waiting to see if it comes today and I have to take Tipper in the car and go and get it. I am already thinking of ways to get money together, this will be a daunting task, as I have used what I had saved for her, and then all these appointments and testing took it all. She has a fairly good nite sleeping. I would be lying if I didn't say this is the most I have been depressed and upset since my dad's passing. Pray for my girl. Blessings
Patti
Kim:
Please add the adrenal tumor to my thread, you can even remove the trouble breathing if you want to as it is a mute point now.
I looked at the video of Annie shaking and that is not what Tipper seems to do. Her is more like twitching and muscle contractions. The body shape of Annie is similar to Tipper though even though everyone has told me Tippers heart and liver are not enlarged. Thank you for all your help. Blessings
Patti
Patti,
I changed the thread title to reflect the addition of the adrenal tumor.
Leslie:
Thank you it is always comforting to me to hear from you, some how it calms me. In a while when you have time I will need to know your thoughts on all this and any particular questions you would ask the surgeon. Thank You Blessings
Patti
Everyone:
I may be slow at reading your threads for a while I am trying to get as much prepared research wise, money wise etc., if Tipper has to have an operation. Know that if I do not comment on your thread I may have still read it. I need to concentrate my time on this for now. Please all of you I need your comments and questions you would ask the surgeon, I can't leave any stone unturned. I need you support and help now more than ever, and I thank you all in advance for it. Blessings
Patti
It's critical the surgeon has alot of experience. Ask them how many of these surgeries they've done and what the success rate has been. Ask specifically about the size and location of the tumor. Ask what the pre and post op treatment plan is (some give meds before surgery also). Ask if Tip is a good candidate based on size and location of tumor as well as other physical issues namely the breathing. Have a video on your phone ready to show a breathing episode so they can see what you are describing.
But the single most important question is to look him/her in the eyes as human being and ask if this was your dog what would you do? Then shutup and listen and look at the eyes - I'd guess that will give you your answer.
Another thing to be sure to tell this vet is just how critical Tipper is to your universe. Others that have gone through this have indicated that their vets told them they must be prepared to lose their pet in order to save them.
I highly suggest you read the threads of people that have gone through this as you will see their journey was very similar regarding research, interviewing etc. I have to leave for the day but will come back tonight and try to give you some links to others threads.
We don't expect replies to everything we say - you just take care of you and Tipper. Knowledge is power and you are doing the right thing by reading and focusing. We are here to help as needed. Kim
Patti,
I have asked the question before to a surgeon about it being his dog, would they do the surgery. This is with another fur baby I had at the time. I snuck that question calmly in, right in the middle of a bunch of technical questions and caught him off guard. Observing body language and watching the eyes is critical. His eyes darted all over, then looked down, avoiding eye contact. He shifted in his seat a couple of times. I calmly waited him out. He finally said, "No, probably not." I had my answer. Xxxxx
Kim and Kathy:
Thank you for your help. You two brought up the number one thing I always do with any of my babies. I ask the Dr. straight forward if this was your dog and knowing your abilities would you do this? I am writing down all the questions you all give me to ask. I am leaning on all of you now, as every 10 minutes I crumble. The question about are you willing to lose your dog to save it. I can't truthfully answer that because Tipper is my universe, but I do not want her to suffer and have a terrible death. Blessings
Patti
Quick comment for everyone. I have an appointment scheduled to see the surgeon with Tipper for Sept 6th at 2:00 pm. Blessings
Patti
Good! That gives us time to help you gather some questions. ;)
Leslie:
Again thank you just hearing from you seems to put me at ease. Blessings
Patti
Yes, Leslie has that same tranquil effect on all of us!;):)
Hi Everyone:
Well it has been 7 days since I started Tipper on the 20 mg Vetoryl. She is starting to show uncontrolled signs already. Some panting, hungry at nite and wanting more food, and restlessness. Actually more noise again when trying to breathe at nite. Now I am not sure what we will do. If 30 mg is driving her pre number down too far and 20 is not enough, my best guess would be a 20/10 split, because they only want Vetoryl. I asked the IMS about using the Vetoryl if this is an adrenal tumor, she said keep using it. That way she is still not getting all 30mg at once, but will have 10 at 7:00 at nite to stop the hunger etc. This will be crazy expensive. I sat here yesterday and tried to figure out how I can afford this operation if that is the decision I make. Yesterday the hospital called me and told me 2500.00 - 3500.00 would be the cost. I have no Veterinary School near me they are all many hours away. I would be afraid of the travel time on Tipper. I am just scared that a private surgeon working at a private hospital may not be as experienced as what I would get in a veterinary school. The surgeon that I am seeing is a woman, that has had 3 xtra years on top of her board certified training in tumor removal. She trained in the hospital where Dr. Bruyette is. I will shoot him an email and see what he thinks of all this. I still have not heard back from my IMS on the questions asked. I know she is really busy. This has really put me in a dark place, I am having a hard time dealing with this. I have reached out to some people in Pgh. to be on the lookout for a good motel that takes dogs close to this hospital. I will have to stay there probably a week in case Tipper would have any complications. I can't possibly think of bringing her home with no emergency place around, and they would know virtually nothing about this I am sure. I have had so many break downs over this I quit counting. I am counting on you all for surgeon questions. Blessings
Patti
Mornin' sweetie,
I'm sorry the signs are getting stronger, adding to your worries. Hopefully the 20/10 split will be acceptable and will help. If this is a cortisol secreting tumor, it often takes higher than normal doses to control the cortisol so these signs could be attributed to what is going on with her adrenals. If it is due to a pheo, you may see those signs come and go as that tumor is switching from active to non-active and back again. ;)
As you know, there have been several cases of adrenal tumors, both cushing's tumors and pheos, lately. Flynn was one of those with a pheo and based on her own experiences plus observations here Trish put together a great list of questions for us not long ago.
Part I is for owners in the initial stages, when an adrenal tumor has been identified and they are considering if surgery is even an option for their dog. Part II is for when surgery has been decided upon and what questions might help when they are discussing it with their surgeon.
Part I - Questions to ask when considering if surgery is an option for your dogs adrenal tumour:
1. What type of tumour do you suspect, functional, non-functional, pheochromocytoma, benign, metastatic
2. Expected life span for my dog in a normal situation. If your dog is close to, at or past his expected lifespan for his breed is surgery going to be of any benefit?
3. Prognosis for my dog if we treated medically i.e. with Cushings medications. AND if we do not proceed with surgery how long do you think it would be before the tumour started adversely affecting his quality of life?
4. If he is miserable now, does the benefit of potentially risky surgery outweigh his current quality of life?
5. Are there any other health problems that could impact on a positive surgical outcome, for example: if your dog is overweight or has heart, BP, liver, kidney or lung conditions
6. Is there any sign of tumour spread imaging should be done, including ultrasound and on advice of specialists either CT or MRI to check whether there is local invasion around the tumour, into blood vessels including vena cava or spread further away in the body to lungs etc
7. Surgeon recommendations would he/she do it for their own dog?
8. Psychological impact for the owner: It is important to understand this is risky surgery, sadly current guidelines indicate 1:5 dogs do not make it, and some recommendations are not even that high. Can you accept it if your dogs dies during or in the postoperative recovery period surgery? This is where it is important to weigh up whether the benefit of your dog being fully cured is worth the risk of possibly losing him.
9. Financially can you afford it? Find out estimate of costs.
10. Hopefully this will not happen, but if your dog collapses, e.g his heart stops either during his surgery or afterwards what emergency measures should be undertaken, do you want your dog to have CPR, how far are you (the owner) willing to go for your dog to be saved in such circumstances
Part II - Surgery has been recommended as treatment for your dogs adrenal tumour, here are a few suggestions on what questions you should ask your surgeon:
1. Are you board certified? How many operations of this type have you done? What complications have you experienced? What were the outcomes?
2. Please explain to me how you will do the surgery, which part would likely give you the most trouble? Will you be doing the actual surgery or a resident in a teaching situation? If so, is their close supervision?
3. Will there be a specialist anaesthetist available for the surgery?
4. If it hasnt been done, do we need a CT/MRI scan to look at the tumour more closely to check for vena cava involvement or any other tumour spread?
5. What are the risks associated with this surgery, including
Bleeding (including trauma to blood vessels or other organs during surgery)
clots
Blood pressure or heart problems such as arrhythmias
pancreatitis
pneumonia
kidney failure
infection
wound problems
bowel problems
anaesthetic risks
adrenal insufficiency or electrolyte abnormalities
death (sorry but you have to ask that risk too)
6. If we proceed with surgery does my dog need preoperative treatment with Cushings meds, antihypertensive if high blood pressure is a problem phenoxybenzamine recommended pre-operatively for dogs with pheochromocytoma, anticoagulants or anything else?
7. How will you treat to prevent clots post-operatively?
8. What would you do if you found anything else during the surgery i.e. nodules in other organs e.g. spleen, opposite adrenal, liver, kidney. Would you remove them and what are the risks associated when doing additional abdominal surgery together with adrenalectomy
9. How long will it take and when will you contact me so I know all is OK, when can I visit after surgery?
10. How will the postoperative period go, how long would you anticipate he would need to stay in hospital? How will we manage pain?
11. What monitoring would be needed, e.g. heart monitoring, oxygen levels in the postoperative period
12. If your dog has an adrenocortical tumour affecting cortisol production will he need to be on steroids following surgery and for how long?
13. If there are problems when I take him home, who do I contact? Hopefully the surgical team until all is stable.
For Tipper specifically, I would add to these wonderful questions some concerning her throat - how will they handle that? What will they do to monitor her breathing? What are the odds breathing tubes would be used..or other instruments that need to go down the throat? I am sure they will realize she has had an issue with this when they read her records, but I would want to be sure this was discussed. In my little mind, it is feasible her breathing issues are due to whatever is going on with the adrenals (especially if this is a pheo) and if that is corrected, her breathing will be improved as a result. ;)
I know you are having a hard time finding things to be hopeful about, to hold onto, so just know that I have hope enough for us both until you are able to have your own. ;)
Hugs,
Leslie and the gang
Leslie:
You have been my guiding light and savior thru this whole journey. I appreciate everything you have taken your precious time to do, and help me for Tipper. I am so scared for her that all I can do is cry. Some how when I hear form you it helps me get thru this. I guess knowing how strong you are and how many babies you have helped seems to bring me to a calm place. I am wondering how Squirt has done/ Is she off the antibiotic? I hope she is doing well, and can put all this behind her. Blessings
Patti
Everyone;
I just emailed Dr. Bruyette and asked him about the hospital and surgeon I am meeting with as she supposedly came from his hospital. I asked him for any help he can offer me as far as advise, what he knows about this surgery, and any way he can help me decide what to do. I have some people already looking into places I could possibly stay with Tipper for about a week that would be clean and cheap, as I will hardly be able to come up with all this money. I may have to go to the bank and ask for a personal loan, if I decide to do this surgery, they may say no because my income is so low now. I had a complete stranger, a woman email me and offer me her house, where we are welcome to have our own room, for Tipper to recuperate. What a wonderful human being!! She is 30 minutes away from the hospital, that may be too far so I will see . Peoples generosity toward animals never ceases to amaze me. God Bless her heart of gold. Blessings
Patti
That is great that someone offered to help you and Tipper! :cool::cool::cool: I was talking to another member here just a bit ago about how wonderful our cush family is and how amazing it is that so many dog folk who never met can come together to help each other out when needed. Total strangers reaching out helping hands simply because they love dogs and their parents who work so hard, like you, to do their very best in spite of what are often challenging circumstances. Things like this help keep my faith in our all-to-often horrible species from completely failing. ;)
Leslie:
It does give you hopes for humanity doesn't it??
Everyone:
I just received an email back from Dr. Bruyette. This man is so busy and he always answers me promptly. He said he personally knows the surgeon I am scheduled to talk to, and he said do not worry about a thing with her. That is such a relief to hear from someone of his stature. I am crying right now typing this. He wants all Tipper's initial testing to see if he can determine if she also has pituitary dependency. He expressed that he was sorry to hear of this mess up with her. He may use her test results in his studies of this disease also, so my Tipper may be able to help another dog, and that is wonderful. My world just has fallen in in the last week with all this going on with my baby. I am forging on and doing the best things I can to get knowledge and gain power. I am reaching out to every source I possibly can, for any help/information. I have said it many times before, I will not let this disease take my Tipper, I will not. Blessings
Patti
Patti, sending you great big hugs. Dr. Bruyette is a gem. He has helped so many and always seems to take time to go that extra bit to make us feel better.
This is certainly an unexpected and unwelcome surprise, when everything seemed to be showing straight out pituitary and her other ultrasound had been okay. (if I am remember that correctly)
Waly has an adrenal tumor and is being treated I think with lysodren and it has shrunk a little bit.
You have probably read over that thread already, but just wanted to mention it. I hope they can distinguish whether this is a pheo or a straight out adrenal tumor that you are dealing with, so you will know what you're options area.
hugs,
Sharlene and Molly Muffin
Patti,
I'm so happy that you're getting answers!!!!
Hi Everyone:
This has not been my best weekend, with that being said I need to change Tipper's meds. I am going to call Dechra as soon as I get home from my urologist. I have gotten together a 25 page fax for Dr. Bruyette on the blood work and testing on Tipper to date, and I am emailing him the report from the IMS. I hope he can give some insight into what exactly is going on with Tipper. He did tell me 10% that have adrenal tumors will also have pituitary tumors. My fax broke, wouldn't you know it. I cannot get it to stop saying paper jam, I think it is in the computer cause there is no jam. I am taking the papers to my vets and have them fax them. They better not give me any trouble as I am not in the mood for crap. After all I could have called their office and had them get all this ready, but instead did it myself. Tipper was ravenous last nite. My only solution is 20mg @ 7am, and 10 at 5pm as she starts getting hungry then. This will cost a fortune this way and I am already worried about money. I will have to buy 3 packs of 10mg a month which will over double the cost. I am so far down in that deep hole right now, but I am still functioning for her sake. I just don't want to get up in the morning and think about the consequences of all this. My neighbor called me yesterday and asked how I was, and that she hasn't seen me in over a month. I almost had a breakdown, but kept it together and told her I was just spending time with Tipper. I don't even want to go to the urologist today and have to have a sitter for Tipper. I will just hurry and get back asap. Blessings
Patti
Patti,
I do feel for you and Tipper. Do try to keep your appointment, I felt the same with when Lulu was sick. You know I just got upset. Now with Stanley things have calmed down, though we want to get a professional trainer for him. He just isn't good with strange men coming to the door, so we are hoping with training he can be made to feel that his home isn't threatened. :)
Hi Everyone:
I had to leave the urologists office before seeing him. I waited over an hour only to find out they did not have my Xrays showing if I had passed the stone, and did not have my blood work. I have never had a panic attack in my life, but felt I was going to. I told them to call me with the results as I have a very ill dog at home and have to go back home asap. I though about my Tipper the whole time I was sitting there, and was so nervous I wanted to leaven anyway. I just got home and got bad news from Dr. Bruyette he said it looks like Tipper has pituitary dependency with either a non active adrenal tumor or pheochromcytoma. I have to email him and see if he picked that up from the report from the IMS I emailed him or the 25 pages of testing and blood work I had the vets email him. I am so frightened I can barely deal with daily things that need doing. This means she would have to have the operation or she could have a bad death if it is a pheo. I have to get money together and figure out where I can stay and how I can do all this, and have someone take care of my critters at home. I called Dechra and am waiting for them to call me back about what to do on Tipper's dosage. Mean while what will happen if she gets the adrenal tumor out, and they give them prednisone for a while, and she can't have it because of the pituitary tumor and taking Vetoryl for it?? I need some help so please give me some advise. How could this precious loving baby have two of these tumors? I cannot understand this. It is bad enough for people to deal with one. I am just off the charts with this. Sorry but I need to let it out. Blessings
Patti
Ok, sweetie....I want you to sit down somewhere comfortable, rather dark and quiet, close your eyes, fold your hands in your lap loosely, then take a deep breath through your nose and slowly let it out through your mouth - repeat....do it again....and now again. Continuing to breath in through your nose and out through your mouth, slowly roll your head around in a circle first to the left, then to the right. Roll your head in both directions, remembering to continue the slow breathing, several times. Now, continuing the slow breathing, your hands loose in your lap, lay your head back and just relax. I want you to allow all these emotions a release. They need to be expressed fully. In your more relaxed state, let all your grief and fear surface then come roaring out of you with a vengeance. Don't listen to that little voice who will try to tell you that you are wasting precious time - this is precious time for you. Cry til you cannot breath; scream a primordial scream; whatever possesses you, allow it to come. Flow with it, ride the waves until there are no more for now. When you have no more to give right then, get up and go take a long hot soak in a soft perfumed bath, or take a walk alone, or take a short nap. Let your emotions out, then let yourself respond to the lightened load as best works for you.
For the remainder of the day and night, do not look at lab reports, emails from vets, studies or internet pages, this site....nothing connected to what is going on with our sweet Tipper. As Addy says, put all of that in a drawer, shut the drawer and lock it just for the rest of today. Instead, do something you used to enjoy but have not given much time to lately like a hobby or watching soap operas or reading a book you've wanted to read - anything that brings you joy and fulfillment. The single most important factor in ensuring our babies get the very best care is us. So we must tend to ourselves first and foremost always. If our bodies fail from stress, our babies will pay the price as much as we.
Nothing will be done today, no decisions must be made today...but Tipper and we need you to be as strong as you possibly can when the time comes to make decisions and take action. So you must take care of yourself and allow yourself to feel all the emotions that are flooding your Soul. Otherwise, they will destroy you and none of us want that. I know so well that feeling, and belief, that if we let ourselves go, everything will fall apart. For years, I would not allow myself to feel the emotions that were killing me, literally. I had become an expert at building walls around them, thinking I was protecting myself and others. What I learned, and the hard way, was that by bottling things up I was creating a tsunami that eventually came crashing in with a force that was unbelievable. Now, I do allow those feeling a life, a right to be expressed whenever they appear. It was a hard lesson to learn but one that saved my sanity.
Please listen, do as I ask just for today. I only ask because I care so much about you and Tipper.
Hugs,
Leslie and the gang
Amen Leslie... Patti please do this. It's so important for you and in the long run benefits Tipper too.
Hi Patti,
Sorry I have not chimed in for a day or two...was on eldercare duty with my mother and no internet available. Just now getting caught up with posts.
Wow...just so sorry for what you're going through...the feeling of panic is not a good one. It's all over whelming...all of it. You probably need a good night's sleep but I know that will probably not happen with the worries you have.
Wish I had some kind of knowledge that would give insight. I don't--so for now I'll just say I'm praying for all of this to work out for you and Tipper. Hoping the for the best outcome!
Barbara
I agree with Leslie!
Meanwhile you confused me because you said if it's a pheo he'd die. That isn't true. Trish's dog had a pheo and lived.
Also note he said 'it looks like it is pituitary cushings'. That isn't yet a fact, it's an opinion. You need to find out why he said that. Annie's tests all showed pituitary cushings but she didn't have it - they couldn't rule it out until they did the cat scan at K State on the heavy duty eqpt.
Flip side it is a non-functioning adrenal tumor or a pheo it may be that you can opt out of having it removed.
Remember Tipper needs a healthy mom. You can't skip these appts forever. Take care of yourself so you can take care of Tip and are healthy and strong enough to make the decisions up the road.
When is your meeting with the surgeon? Thanks and I hope you don't see this for a while because you are off relaxing somewhere. HUgs, Kim
Honey, please don't put the cart before the horse. As you have written, these are possibilities and not yet confirmed.
You also know that every dog is different so please don't assume that nothing can be done for Tipper before finding out for certain what is going on with her.
Lastly, find a way to calm down so that you can enjoy your time with Tipper and so that you remain healthy for both of you. Don't give into the panic. You're much to smart for that.
HUGS
Good mornin',
I hope you had a more relaxing day and feel a bit calmer this morning about things. Can't begin to tell you the number of times I have had full blown panic attacks in public...like vet offices. ;) Doc offered to tranquilize me when I took Trinket in to be spayed because I was losing it just thinking of her going under anesthesia again after taking 3 days to wake up the last time she was under. I have some tricks I use that help. I memorized statistical formulas and would recite them out loud or write them down, poems and recite them aloud - a few things that require my mind to pay attention so I get it right....and that usually helps push the panic back.
Of course, today I have NO idea what those stats formulas mean nor could I apply them....but remembering the weird little symbols and the order they have to go in with parenthesis, brackets and so on is challenging enough that it helps my mind remain present - not flopping around on the floor or dashing around flapping in the air. :p I have also been known to use that primordial scream - which my neighbors adore. :D Or using a 2X4 to beat a clothesline pole or making bread and punching the crap outta the dough. These and others are stress relievers for me when things start piling up and I feel that horrible skin-crawlie, shaky, sweaty, mind-numbing fear coming on. I spend time outside every day, not working but simply soaking in Mother Nature and all Her beauty, watching the sunrise while sipping coffee, watching the sun set in the evenings. These times are mine and mine alone - no pups, no humans with me. Just me and Mother Nature. I find these moments very healing. ;)
I hope you and Tipper had a restful night.
Hugs,
Leslie and the gang
Hi Everyone:
Well last nite we had a storm. It really got my stomach in a knot even though I was trying to remain calm. I got worried about Tipper's blood pressure rising, and the bleeding in her retinas. I can't say I am calm today, but I am trying to keep my emotions in check. You know I had this very experience with my dad and that is why in the back of my mind I am in a panic. I had the same sick feeling every morning I woke up knowing I was one day closer to my dad passing. It is no different with Tipper. It will be God's will now again as it was in the past. Because I have lost my whole family to tragic deaths it is hard for me to keep sane. I have been through this too many times for my age. Tipper is all I have left, and I need her badly. I have formulated a plan even though I am not mentally with it right now. After researching the outcome of operations on these adrenal glands I called the IMS. She was not in until Wednesday so I asked her assistant to tell her I need the following. Tipper's CT scan from her scoping procedure, and the size of her tumor. I need to know first if there is any tumor found at all on her pituitary. Then I need to know the size of the one on the adrenal gland. If it is 5 centimeters or larger the outcome after removal is not good. If it is the large round object the first Dr. pointed to , I can safely say that it is over 5 centimeters. If this is a pheo it could send a sudden rush from high blood pressure to her heart and kill her. If it is an adenoma, and 5 centimeters or over it cannot be removed without a high death rate. It would seem any route is not a good one, so I will start with the pituitary and go from there. After being in my vets office to get Lucky's medicine after it finally came, I told the receptionist I had to speak to my vet, it was important about Tipper and to have him call me. He never called needless to say. It is not a good feeling when your ship is sinking and all the rats are jumping off. I know he does not want to hear it about his lousy US machine , and the lousy Dr. reading it. I have reached out to Dr. Bruyette again about the mortality of this operation etc. I have not heard back yet to see if he has gone over her blood work. I called Dechra yesterday about Tipper's dosage change, never heard from them either. I hope to hear today. That is where things sit today. I can't help feeling Tipper is a ticking time bomb, and it is taking all I can do to keep going. I do it for her, and if she gives me any sign she wants out I will help her. I though of that all nite. I would never be able to with stand seeing her in distress and not being able to help her or end it for her. God help me I have given though to putting her to sleep before something bad happens to her. I would never want her to have to deal with a catastrophic event. It would kill me. That is why I am very cautious to always make sure she is not suffering with anything. I cannot let her do that because of myself needing her. I would always think of her first. It is different when you have others in and around you in your life to talk this over with and get support from. I have no one but this wonderful forum, so I hope you all understand where I am coming from, as the hole is deep where I am at. I pray nothing bad happens waiting for all these Dr.'s and answers. Blessings
Patti
Hi Patti,
If you are like me, I'm like a dog with a bone and I cant let things go, so it is often hard to take my own advice and put Cushings in the drawer and lock it up for awhile.:o:o
I was given some wise advice from Zoe's GP before he left the practice. He told me to pick my battles carefully, that there was so much wrong with Zoe, I could not win every battle. I know you will pick your battle carefully.
Anticipatory grief is a hard thing to deal with, it can cloud our judgment while we weigh the options and it is hard to control. I have to go to work everyday so it was a blessing in a way, I was forced to clear my mind, as hard as it was. I totally agree even just a walk, alone for an hour to sit in a park or near a pond to just breathe and be can help calm the mind and allow us to see things in a different light.
I dont know what God plans for Zoe or for Tipper. I know there are days I feel I am strong enough to handle her death and days I feel I cannot bear it. So I offer you my shoulders too, to lean on, Patti, as you struggle with so much information to decide the best path forward.
Just remember, Tipper is still here today, right now. She has not been taken from you. So each day, one day at a time, rejoice in Tipper, hold her, smell her and just be.
Much love
Ticking time bomb....yes, I know that one as well and live with it on a daily basis with Squirt and Brick. I know in my gut something is wrong with Squirt internally- another tumor, gall bladder or liver disease, something that is ticking away second by second....and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. I can't afford an US to look inside, I couldn't afford surgery nor would I ask that of Squirt at this stage of her life. So whatever it is, will be. And what is to come, will come.
Brick is a little miracle in that his body will drain those pockets in his head, relieving the pressure, preventing horrible effects from the pressure. I live with fear his tiny body will one day no longer be able to drain enough fluid and I will have no choice but to let him go as I will not let him suffer.
I've given all I have financially - there is no more to spare. I have no more to give up in order to make ends meet.
I wish I was in your shoes with options and the ability to meet them somehow but I'm not. If we had options, if we had any hope of addressing those options, I would be so very grateful. All I can do is the best I can for my babies with the little I have and cherish each and every second they are with me and ok. Because the day IS coming when they will not be ok, and I will have only one option - to let them go. :(
Hang in there!
Hugs,
Leslie and the gang
You sound like you have given up but I know you are strong and have not. Shake the funk!
I will address the pheo. Yes it can cause a heart attack. I repeat - my Annie lived for two years (or more who knows) with a pheo. It was intermittent. She lost weight, wouldn't eat, had an ulcerated cornea but she was one very happy dog to her last day on earth. She had a strong will to live and you would never have known there was a thing wrong with her EVER. People would see this emaciated hairless dog and be all sad and she'd go running into acupuncture with a big smile on her face as if she was on Cloud 9.
Don't give up. I didn't and I had many happy days with my girl as a result. I know you won't give up. Kim
Kim:
I guess out of wanting to protect her at all costs I keep thinking of what I can do so she does not experience this. I am so scared of the adrenal surgery, especially if there is a pituitary on top of this. Many of these surgeries have fatalities, so the chances of her making it out of the O.R. are not real high. I feel like I would be sending her to a certain death. I am torn this is very hard to deal with after all she and I have been through together. If it is the pheo making her have bleeding in the retinas, how long will she be able to endure that before losing her sight?? There are just so many unanswered questions. I have never been so distraught before. I had a dream her and I went to sleep and neither of us ever woke up, we stayed together. Right about now that does not seem too bad to me. I called my vet's office to find out why he never called me yesterday, she said he was in today and that he got the message, well isn't that just great. I am anxious to hear what you have about the pheos to explain to me.Blessings
Patti
Oh Patti,
I don't know what to tell you other than to take your clues from Tipper. She will tell you what she needs you to do for her. Trust in that! You are connected at the hip, so you will know when the time comes.
Right after Buddy passed, I did not want to go on without him either. It does get better little by little and I know that's not what Buddy would want. He would want me to be happy above all else. The same goes with Tipper. She adores you and wants you to be happy also. Remember, you have several other babies that need you.;) We need you too!:p