Buddy, The Mighty Lizard Hunter - Suspected Pituitary Macro Tumor

:D I have a kiwi fruit in my fruit bowl! Kind of resembles a kiwi bird in color. ;) heehee couldn't resist.

I'm really posting to find out about your purse Kathy, I imagine you must have found it??

Barbara

Barbara, Yes I did locate it, but it was pretty well ransacked. I don't care too much about the cash. It's the cards and personal items that are hard to replace. My drivers license was still there, so I got that back. I don't carry credit cards around town, but my debit card was taken. I called the bank this morning when I realized that my purse was missing so they put a hold on all purchases. Nobody had attempted to use it as of this morning. They require a pin to use it at the stores, one is not required for online purchases. I had the bank issue me a new card this morning. It could've been a lot worse!

I just received a hand written condolence letter from Buddy's trusted vet. He has been taking care him since he was a puppy. It was very heartfelt and got me crying all over again. :(I really thought that they would be thrilled to get rid of me! I can be a pain in the ass when I'm a mama on a mission! I questioned everything! What a sucky summer! XXXXXX

Aww..it's so nice of Buddy's vet to send you a condolence note...that really was sweet of him. It got the tears flowing but that's to be expected..and probably good to cry it out when you need to.

But goodness your purse had actually been taken!!? :eek: I thought you may have just misplaced it. I'm so glad your license was there and only the debit card and cash were missing. You're right-it could have been worse- but you really didn't deserve this happening, especially right now while you're going through so much. When it rains it pours doesn't it? :(
Barbara

Hey Kathy

Sucks about your purse. I can understand how though as its like your in a daze, nothing is real so the purse would be the last thing you think of till you need something

Just wondering how you are doing tonight? Hope you have managed to eat a little something today

Tight hug

Mel
Xxxxxxx

Thanks guys for trying. You are truly angels.:) It has been three days since I set Buddy free. It feels like forever! My life stopped when his heart stopped. I was asked in one of your posts to let you help Buddy help me. I have come to the realization that I cannot be helped short of a miracle. I have always tried to be a good person and live up to my responsibilities. I have put everyone else's needs first, whether at home, or with special kids at work. Buddy was mine, all mine, above all else. He was the best and most loving part of me. His unconditional love made me a better person. We were inseparable. Now that he's gone, I am unable to function well, or barely at all. No one understands what the big deal is. After all, he was just a dog. Buddy was my world. A cute little bubble who surrounded me with love. He was never judgmental, always accepting and loving to all people. Critters were another matter altogether!:D I need that connection with another fur baby now. Buddy taught me how to truly love. He would want me to share it with others in need. Unfortunately, I am unable to make that happen right now. I am feeling, frustrated, numb, empty and sad and I can't do anything about it. So thanks for trying angels. You have been there day and night to talk me through my sorrow. It sucks to always do the right thing. I set Buddy free because he looked at me with pleading eyes and I knew he was pain. If I had just kept him drugged, he would still be with me now and I wouldn't be such a complete wreck. See, it sucks to always put other's needs before your own. Lesson learned.

HI Kathy - I need to reply to this but have company coming for dinner so will get back to you later.... You would not be feeling better by keeping Buddy alive just because you could, that would have been selfish and you know it. I will be back later xxxxx

You couldn't see him like that which is why you let him go, irrespective of how it was going to make you feel.

I am so sorry that circumstances are impacting your ability to get another dog, you are clearly very unselfish and it makes me mad to think that you are feeling like this.

I wish there were more than words I could offer

Love ya Mel xxxxxxxx

Love you right back. I try and keep the faith it will all work out in the end, otherwise I would be battier than I am!

I will be asking Tia to send subliminal messages to the parents that they do want a puppy. It would please me no end if I came back and it was so.

If anyone can make it happen, Tia can. XXXXXXXX

I will ask my nanny too she loved my Juno, she wasn't a doggie person before but Junie melted her heart.

Juno was an english setter, she would dribble and pee on her trousers and take up all my bed dopey dog but that makes them more endearing xxxx

Juno sounds lovely! I would like a dog to take up the space on my bed right now. I need some divine intervention, because a puppy is not going to happen without it.

I will defo be asking them on a daily basis!

Vicki is on feeling sad too. I wish we didn't have to feel such pain but then the love is so strong

I'm going to add a message to Vicki's thread.:) thanks Mel xxxxx

Right I am off. Need to get moving.

Big big hug

Love
Mel
Xxxx

Thanks so much Mel. Enjoy your holiday. Don't let that hubby blow it for you! Big hugs,

Kathy:
I feel so bad hearing the pain you are going through. I see it in all your postings. I know you are counting the minutes since you last saw your precious angel Buddy. I think of you both constantly throughout the day. You gave Buddy the last act of kindness from your heart, and helped him go to heaven. You are strong Kathy, but I do realize how the loss of this cute wonderful baby of yours has brought you to your knees. Tipper is my whole world also. Everything I do revolves around her well being. The depth of this pain can be worse than the pain from losing a human life. These babies need you for everything, depend on you for their very existence, and give so much more in return. Your dog loves you no matter what the circumstances are, and you can't get that from a human. All my Tipper cares about is that we are together, and love each other every minute. I hope and pray your folks change their minds and let a warm, fuzzy puppy come and heal your broken heart. God Bless You and Buddy in heaven.
Patti

Sooooo, think your folks will mind all this whispering in their ears? Along with Juno and Tia, I will ask Ruby, Crys, Tasha, Josie and many others to help as well. So if you see one of them brush something away from their face, you will know it's one of these babies talking to them, reminding them how sweet doggie kisses are, and how comforting it is to reach out and find a small warm body curled up next to you. Fair warning, tho....Crys is a Demon Dog and she may repeatedly root them out of the bed to make her point! :p

Doing the right thing is often the most difficult thing...but it is still the right thing. I often wonder if I rushed Tasha away, if maybe she could have had a few more good months. But I remember the look in her eyes after her seizures and I know it was time. The cancer was in her brain and she would have only gotten worse and worse, losing more and more dignity and doggieness. She deserved better, she deserved to be spared what was to come. It was the right thing to do but it still hurts like all get out.

Your precious boy is so grateful to you for sparing him the same. His pain is over, his fear is over, his confusion is over. I believe that we will always be with those we love, that we will walk together in another life, and another life, and another life.... I believe that those we love and have shared ourselves with always find each other again. Our babies understand this much more clearly than we can. They realize that time here and time there is vastly different. What seems like a lifetime to us is only a few seconds to them. They understand that death is not an ending but simply the first step of a new beginning. They know beyond a shadow of a doubt that we will be together again. So grieve for the time you must spend here without Buddy but hold tight to the knowledge that he is not truly gone, that you will hold him again.

Hugs,
Leslie and the gang

I don't want to hijack this posting, but your endearing remarks made about losing our pets, makes it a bit easier for us facing the probability of the same.

Thank you Leslie. You always know exactly the right thing to say.:)
XXXXXXXX

Hi Kathy,
I hope you are hanging in there today. Just thinking about you and thought I would send some hugs on this fine Saturday!

xoxox,
Kerry (Millie's Mama)

Morning Kathy - sorry I never got back last night. It ended up a late one and after they left I fell asleep on the couch, gosh I am getting old!!! I hope your feeling a little better today, it is only what 4 days since you lost Buddy so of course you are going to be feeling it still. You are certainly most unselfish and even though it hurts so much to let him go you know you did the right thing,.. right?! Of course you do, as you were so in tune with our little mate Buddy that you knew it was time to say Goodbye even when it ripped your heart out to do it. Don't put yourself under any pressure whatsoever to start feeling OK about all of this, I love what Leslie and the others have written to you, so very true and slowly slowly you are going to start feeling easier about your decision sweet. But for now all of us are warm presence in your life so you lean on us and absorb our group strength and hugs to get you through the darkness xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Marianne,
You said that the firsts were the worst when losing a fur baby. That is not true for me. The silence in my home with no one talking to each other and everyone grieving is the worst. Caring for seniors who are often a challenge without a mini mediator to crack everyone up and ease the tension is the worst. Continuing on with nothing to look forward to is the worst. Being stuck at home all summer without a fur baby is the worst. There are many more things that are just as hard as the firsts, especially the ones that don't go away.

Kathy sending you big hugs. That situation sounds quite awful and I'm sure it is very depressing, like depressing, adding onto depression. Not a good situation for any of you.
Do your parents get out and do stuff at all? Or are they pretty much house people? What about doing some volunteer work over the summer? Something that you would like, or working with an animal rescue. Just something to get out of the house. I do volunteer when I have time, not working, with a local hospital, in day surgery. I like it and I get to keep in touch with all my friends from before I went back to work. (I was doing volunteer before rejoining the work force).
I'm just throwing ideas out, something to think about. It might not work for you. If not, get the passport and go somewhere, see Trish or do something adventurous. :) Take a cruise or do a tour guide vacation.
Grieving for Buddy is hard any time, but this sounds like it is grief and depression of 3 people filling the house. That can't be good for you.

hugs,
Sharlene

Hi
ANY way that you can get yourself out of your house will do you a world of good.I think you mentioned that your parents move about pretty well and you could call a family member to watch over things if you were to go away?Getting a passport may take a bit of time but go away for a few days,pamper yourself a little and begin to heal.You've suffered a tremendous loss and need a little time for yourself.A change of scenery is always uplifting and a good distraction from the grief.
HUGS
Patty

Kathy,
Taking care of seniors is hard! I know it's hard for me and I pretty much do it just Sundays, holidays, and our caregivers vacation. You're there all the time and that's a lot. Tomorrow I have to go out to my moms, and because of July4th it's 2 days this week, and I have to admit I would really love to just stay home...but I must go.

As for getting a dog...what exactly are they objecting to? The expense? Is it the sadness and not wanting to go through the loss again?
I know how lonely it must feel for you...and how having a little pup who needs you would help you heal! I guess you told your parents this...I really hope they come around. You deserve what makes you happy and it certainly sounds like you do a lot for others...you are not asking for much. What if you just went out and came home with a dog?? Would they totally freak out or maybe would they just melt when the dog was right there in the house?
Are your parents in good health? Can they do things on their own at all?
I really want you to have a dog...there are so many out there and I know there's one who really needs you!!! :p

Kathy,
I agree that you need some time away from your parents. I'm lucky enough that my father's health has improved so much that I can safely spend a weekend in Greenwich without worry.


As for a dog, if this is your home that your parents are living in, then you make the decision in your own time regardless of what they say. Parents never think of us as true adults and it is hard when you're all in the same house, I know. They still want that control.

Can you talk with them about Buddy, your memories, and share in the grieving together? This may help all of you get through the process.

Then get a dog when you feel that the time is right.

The problem with another dog is they don't want to start over. What I want/need makes no difference. They are heartbroken over Buddy. They did not want me to take him. Unless I can wear them down eventually, I won't be able to get another dog until they are no longer around to object. I cannot bring a puppy into the home with seniors that don't want one. I wouldn't want their frustrations to be taken out on the puppy. I cannot be home all the time to protect a precious little fur baby. I work. It is not a problem with money. Buddy was my dog. I paid for everything and I never asked them for a cent, not even when vet bills started to accumulate. Yes, my parents can get around well on their own. They just need help with some things. They can be very exasperating at times. It makes everything easier when I just give in and do what they want. No, I can't just bring a puppy home and surprise them. That would not go over well for me or the puppy.

HI Kathy

I am back! How has the day gone? I guess we can park the getting a new dog issue for the time being, leave it a bit while is it is so raw for everyone and hopefully revisit some time later.

Hi Trish,
I have a migraine tonight which is no big surprise since I haven't been eating or sleeping well. I spent the day cleaning for my mom's Bunco party tomorrow. She's been in a group probably more than 50 years. Most of them have either died out or can no longer drive. It is quite a sight to see! Yes, no puppy in the immediate future. I do normally get what I want eventually.

Aww that's not good have you taken some headache pills??

I have no idea what a Bunco party is, never heard of it :D

It's a dice game where you throw the dice and move from table to table depending on whether you win or lose according to the numbers you are rolling. It is similar to Yahtzee if you've ever heard of that. A bunco is when whatever number you're rolling for ends up on all the dice at the same time. The player with the most Buncos at the end of the game wins the most amount of cash. The player with the least amount of my Bunco gets the booby prize which is something nobody wants. It is not like high-stakes poker!!:D LOL

I know Yahtzee, used to play that a lot! Sounds fun that they get together to play :) My Mum plays cards every Wednesday, game called "500". Dad goes out to snooker once a week and plays bowls too, plus daily 2 mile walks with Flynny so it is good they keep active! Use it or lose it I say!

Hi Kathy,
Checking in on you, sorry to read about your migraine. I had a headache all day yesterday too! It is a bit better now, but still not gone. I get migraines from time to time also, they are awful. How are you doing otherwise? Sounds like you and Trish both got your housework done. Me, not so much. So I guess that is how I will be spending my Sunday. :rolleyes:

Hugs,
Tina and Jasper

Hi Tina,
I have a chemical imbalance in my brain that triggers my migraines. I take migraine blockers every day at bedtime. That fools my brain into thinking that it's balanced. It does work most of the time. However it doesn't do good to take them at bedtime when I'm not sleeping. :( I don't get as many as I used to. Thank you for checking in on me.

Night Kathy, I am heading to bed :) Hope your head stops pounding, perhaps try get some rest yourself and maybe just laying in the dark will help your head. See you tomorrow after work, these weekends go far to fast! xxxxx

Kathy:
Hoping you are well today. Just checking in to see how things are going. I am at a loss for words as I myself would not be doing as well as you are if this were my girl. You have an inner strength that is getting you thru this. You situation in the house with your parents is sad. You know I realized when your parents get older everything seems to be about them, and that is all they care about. I don't think they realize how selfish they get. Buddy has made a huge mark on your family and it is going to take time to start to heal. He was adorable, and he was all yours and I get that. My heart hurts for you. Blessings
Patti

Mornin' Kathy,

Here are some ideas - have you ever thought about fostering? Down here, there are rescue groups that pull from our shelters then send the pups up north and they always need someone to foster the pups for a few weeks while they wait on transport. Of course, rescues all over need foster homes desperately as do many shelters and animal controls facilities.

Another way to have contact and help is via transports for rescue pups. Often the transport trains, vehicle relays over distance, need places for the pups to stay overnight to they meet their ride for the next leg of the journey.

Petsitting - you could offer to watch pups for folks who want to take a weekend trip or something.

These will allow your folks to be exposed to other pups and adjust to the new while letting you connect and give some of that amazing love you have inside. And it just may open the door for that special little one who is waiting just for you.

Hugs,
Leslie and the gang

Kathy-Sorry to hear about your migraine. Hope you are feeling better.

The Folks caved! I can have a puppy! I am going to see them now!!!!! Stay tuned!:D