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Hi Kathy,
I'm thinking of you and Buddy today also. I know how tough these anniversaries can be, and I know today will be difficult. A smile comes to my face as I remember all of his stories and adventures. We are all here with you today Kathy.
Love and big hugs,
Tina and Jasper xo
Angels, Thanks for all the love to wake up to this morning and for joining me in celebrating Buddy's amazing life.
I put off going to sleep last night hoping that today would never come, yet here it is! :o
No one talks about Buddy anymore unless I make a comment about him. My folks didn't care when I mentioned this dreaded anniversary fast approaching. Their comment was, "Well, we have Rosie now." Like that comment somehow makes it all better. IT DOESN'T! I still feel terribly sad and don't even want to get up this morning. :(:(:o:o
Thanks again for remembering us on this day. Xxxxxx
Kathy
Dear Kathy
What you are feeling is normal. Family often doesn't understand the depth of our sorrow and grief. You understand only too well how you feel. It is almost two years since Apollo's passing and all I want is to have him back.
That is why you come here to get the love,support and comfort you need.
Loving thoughts
Sonja and Angel Apollo
Kathy, thinking of you and Buddy today.
{{{{{HUGS}}}}}
Many members has sent me PM's asking specific questions as to how I have been dealing with the loss of Buddy. Please know that these comments reflect my feelings about this very difficult subject. Others may feel differently and that's perfectly okay. I have been told many times in messages that I am very brave. I need to dispel that myth right now. I am not brave. I am human. I am damaged and I am sad. I did what many others on this forum have done. I released my best friend, so he wouldn't suffer. A large chunk of my heart went with Buddy when he crossed over that day. I was the last thing he saw as he closed his eyes for the last time. I told him to go get the lizards as my heart was torn to shreds. I went into shock immediately following Buddy's release. I couldn't even go home because I wasn't ready to face my family. They begged me not to take him, but I knew it was the right thing to do. The only thing that I could do for Buddy.
Know that grief comes in waves. There is no time frame, so be gentle with yourself when the time comes. Our family here held me together when I was in shock and unable to function. Losing a beloved fur baby breaks your heart, but you are never alone. There are always angels here who understand.
Kathy
Great post .....sums up how I feel and felt too. RIP tommy aka boof and Tammy. Love and miss both of you so badQuote:
Originally Posted by Budster's Mom
Hey Bud,
I need to find a way to help someone who desperately needs it. I don't know if there is anything I can do, but I need to try. You were always by my side whenever I was worried about someone and couldn't sleep. Knowing you were there made all the difference. I so wish you were here now to help me find the right words to say.
Love you and miss you forever and a day,
Mom
I know to well how you feel. Sometimes just listening and comforting can help others. When we are still grieving our selves there s not much left over for others.
Sonja and Angel Apollo
Buddy was your rock ,your foundation.
Hey Bud,
I had the title changed and closed your thread yesterday. I changed the title to reflect your struggle. Those horrible headaches that are now gone and your poor legs giving out on you when you tried to run or get up. Your struggle getting up the ramp to guard and not being able to get through your doggy door to get out, to name a few. There were many. You were a very brave little warrior. The change was made so others needing information could find what they were searching for easier.
I had you thread closed because our journey together here on earth ended over 13 months ago. I know that you have moved on and I'm glad that you are now pain free, but I have not been able to do the same. I am stuck in limbo unable to move forward. I miss you as much as ever, especially cuddles and massages in the morning while you were waking up. I miss my nosy little shadow hanging on every word. So Buddy, I closed your thread. Our adventure is over, but you are forever loved and cherished and never forgotten.
Your memory thread will remain open. I'll be dropping in to talk with you and others may want to comment as they remember things also. You will always be our Mighty Lizard Hunter. No other fur baby will ever overtake your title here on the forum.
Your little sister Rosie is a handful. She will never replace you because you are irreplaceable, but she does keep me company like you used to.
Well Bud, I so wish you could have stayed with me until I was ready to cross the bridge, so we could have gone together. Drop in every now and then to visit and check out Rosie. She'll give you a laugh, that's for sure.
Love you and miss you forever and a day,
Mom
Dear Kathy, I only know to well what your sweetlBuddy went through. Apollo had many of the same ailments. I looked at Buddy's pictures and can understand only to well that this little Angel was bigger than life. A part of you died when he left. It is almost two years and I will never get over losing Apollo. Seeing them suffer as they did only makes it harder. Comfort yourself with knowing you both fought as hard and as long as you did. Oh dear,the tears are coming again.
Hugs for you and a hug for Buddy in heaven. Know Apollo and Buddy are running free without pain.
Sonja and Angel Apollo
hugs, Kathy
Oh Kathy {{{hugs}}}
You did everything you possibly could for Buddy, and his thread will help many others.
Kathy,
Big, loving hugs
Hugs and prayers
Hey little Dude,
There haven't been any alligator lizards at all this year. You wiped them out before you moved on. Such a mighty hunter!!! :D:D We only have the small ones now that are lightning fast. Those are almost impossible to catch, although you did manage to catch quite a few. ;):D Rosie chases them, but hasn't caught any. She is very fast, but not as determined as you were.
You were absolutely obedient at all times. You even stayed perfectly still for your ultrasound. Rosie knows the commands, but only follows them if she's in the mood and there is nothing better to do.
I know that this is almost impossible to understand or believe, but Rosie doesn't care at all about food or treats.:eek::eek::eek: Isn't that crazy! It's hard for me to believe too.
I so wish I was able to turn back the clock and start all over again with you. Fly free sweet boy.
Love you and miss you forever and a day,
Mom
Dean Koontz is one of my favorite authors, one reason is that dogs are just about always part of the story and often play a prominent role even tho his stories are about the supernatural. In Dragon Tears a dog is a key character who helps a group of people in danger from a young man who possesses unusual "gifts". Koontz takes the reader into this dog's thoughts with his typical dash of humor. In my reading last night I read the following and couldn't help but think of Buddy.
Quote:
A little lizard! Zip, so fast, across the stones, get it, get it, get it, get it. This way, that way, this way, between your legs, that way, here it comes, there it goes – now where is it? – over there, zip, don’t let it get away, get it, get it, want it, need it, bang, an iron fence out of nowhere.
Thanks for moving Leslie's post here. It is sooooo Buddy! It made me smile.:p
He will always remain a mighty lizard hunter. So much passion wrapped in that little body. He would jump into bushes and claw under fences to hunt out his prey. I would have to physically pick him up and bring him inside to keep him from tearing up his paws and to give the lizard a chance to escape. Otherwise, he would sit and stare at a hole in the fence all day, waiting for it to resurface. He could sniff them out and very few got away. Once caught, he often brought them in through the doggie door to show me. He was soooo proud! :D
Special moments can make us smile,sometimes through tears but smile nonetheless.
Big hugs
So true Addy, so true.:p
Hey little man,
I still miss you so much! It just wasn't long enough. It never would have been long enough. :o
I am feeling very sad. It will be my birthday in about a half an hour and we are supposed to spend it together. 9-11 is such a sucky birthday anyway, but you always made it okay. You made everything okay for me. That's what you did.
I want a do over!:(
Love you and miss you forever and a day,
Mom
Hey Dude,
I hope you are having an awesome time chasing all those rainbow lizards and hanging out with our other fur angels.
I just wanted you to know that I changed your avatar for Halloween. It is one of my favorites.:p I will change it once again for Christmas. You were always such a great sport when I chose to put something silly on you. That makes me smile even now.:)
I love and miss you forever and a day,
Mom
What a great picture. Buddy watch over your Mom.
Sonja,Apollo
That is one of my top picks for your avatar, I just love it, Kathy.
What a good boy, Buddy to let mama dress you up and have fun with it all.
Happy Halloween to all our heavenly fur balls. I am hoping you all now can eat chocolate without getting sick!!! I I know Zoe would think that "heavenly":):):):):):):):):)
I do love that avatar Kathy.
I like that picture too. Buddy sure knew how to wear a costume!
hugs
Buddy is sooo cute. I always think of my little buddy when I see him. Those spunky boys are running together I'm sure.
This is BEAUTIFUL!!!Quote:
Originally Posted by Budster's Mom
Thank you.:p
It's been a while since I have read through that. Thank you so much for bumping it up. ;) It doesn't even touch the impact Buddy had on my life, but it's the closest I could come.
Hey Dude,
Another holiday season has arrived. Nothing is the same without you here with me. :o That was evident over Thanksgiving break. Rosie was delighted to have me home and she's adorable, but she's not you. I still want you. I went through the motions doing the same kinds of things with Rosie that I did with you. It just didn't feel right. Something was missing. That something was your presence and sweet nature. You always watched out for everyone. Rosie is obsessed with herself, oblivious to anyone else. She's a in the moment kind of monkey. Act first. No sense thinking about it.;)
Please continue to welcome the newcomers as they arrive. Unfortunately, there will always be more.:o:(
Happy hunting, our Mighty Lizard Hunter. :p
Love and miss you forever and a day,
Mom
Big (((((hugs))))) Kathy. I know your boy is watching over you and Rosie. These bonds will go on forever with very long heart strings between us and the Rainbow Bridge.
Terry
Awww, Buddy the mighty lizard hunter is sure missed by a lot of us. I hope he is getting tons of belly rubs at the rainbow bridge in between chasing lizards of course.
hugs Kathy
Thank you Ladies.:p
Everything is different. It should be getting easier by now. :o
I think maybe when we love them that much and fight that hard it doesn't get easier, maybe it just changes a bit on some days.
Big hugs Kathy, we never forget, we continue to love with every fiber of our being.
Buddy, check in on Zoe for me. She shoul be running with Alivia
and Apollo anywhere there may be food.:)
They will be fighting tommy and Tammy for it!!!! LolQuote:
Originally Posted by addy
I never thought if it that way, but I think you're right Addy. My life was intertwined with Buddy's needs for so long, that I feel lost without that focus of being constantly needed. Weird huh?:confused:
Quote:
Originally Posted by addy
I think we suffer the same things a human caretaker does when our babies pass. All of our energies, thoughts, actions - everything has been for them and when they are no longer in need, we are completely lost. I am anyway.
Dear Kathy
You have been so kind to me . I feel selfish for not thinking about your needs. It is so hard to get through. Over two years and I still struggle with guilt,lose.emptiness and that is okay.
When you have fought so hard and long for your furballs, it takes a long time to adjust. They will always be a part of you,there well be moments out of the blue and the lose hits you, there will be moments when the love and memories will hit you. When you love so deeply and are loved so deeply the bound does not die but goes with you when you die. Only we can understand.
Love always
Sonja and Apollo
I agree completely.;) They have stolen our hearts and we will never be the same. Thank you so much for your sweet note. xxxxoooo
Quote:
Originally Posted by apollo6
Hi Bud,
Thanks for dropping by. It meant so much:p Yes, Rosie is a work in progress. She is nothing like you, but she's very special too.
Love you and miss you forever and a day,
Mom
Hi Sweet boy,
Another year has come and gone and still no Buddy boy to make me smile. I often drift off in my sleep to calmer, simpler times. Times when it was just the two of us doing nothing in particular. You by my side, watching, listening, caring and loving. Then I wake to the reality that you are gone. No smiling on cue, no Sunday morning cuddles in bed, no one sitting in window waiting for me to come home from work. No sweet boy to see, smell, feel or hold on to. The bottom of your feet always smelled like Fritos. That always seemed weird to be, but I sure miss that smell now. I would love to be able to turn back the clock to when you were a puppy and start fresh again. Back to a time I had never heard of Cushing's. Back to the time you could run and play without head tremors and your legs giving out. A pain free time full of hunting those pesky lizards and yapping at the birds who had nerve enough to invade your airspace. Then reality sets in once more and my beautiful dream ends until we meet again.
Please continue to welcome the new arrivals which keep on coming. There is plenty of room for all over the rainbow bridge and many lizards to hunt. Happy hunting my precious boy.
Love you and miss you forever and a day,
Mom