Lucygoo updates/Lucygoo has passed

Dearest Gina,
This must be so hard on you so it is understandable that these thoughts are going through your mind. Try to concentrate on the fact that you have been an amazing mom to Lucy and she feels your love. You did everything right and should have no regrets or second guesses. None of has a crystal ball and, maybe, that is a good thing. I think it is wonderful that Lucy is enjoying these days. Try to enjoy them with her and live each day to the fullest. I am close by, in Rancho Mirage near Palm Springs. If you need anything I am only a drive away. I will send you a PM with my email and phone number. In the meantime, we are all here for you and here is where you should come at any time for any reason. We are standing right beside you.
Love & hugs,
Carrol

Thank you Carrol,

It seems to be harder at night for some reason....I just lose it and can't stop crying. When I am able I'll write the story of Lucy and how she came into my life. Thanks again to all of you for your kind words and support

I think night is the hardest because there are no other distractions. Are you sleeping okay? That is really important. We can't have you getting sick. It is okay to cry. That is expected but please come to us when things are bad (or good) and let us try to help in any small way we can. The shoulders are here are REAL big.
Love,
Carrol

Dear Gina,

I just wanted to let you know I am sending prayers and good energy to you. This is so hard, I am so sorry.

Jenny

Hi Gina,

I've been checking on you, following bc I care so much for you and Lucy. I thought I should let you know I am here too and sending as much love and peace as I can across the miles. You gave Lucy your heart, made your decisions out of love, and that can never be wrong. Second guessing is so much a part of the human condition, and something I still struggle with....but I always come back to the love. The bottom line to me is always the love. And that, my friend, you have proven to Lucy time and time again.
Savor every moment without the tricks the mind plays on us, when in our hearts there is something so pure, so right, that it can bring us back to the answers we so need.
You did everything out of that place in your heart...Lucy knows this, you know this, we know this.
Know too that there are many arms carrying you through....
Many many hugs and much love,
Beth

Gina -

I know your heart is breaking. You have been there for Lucy through thick and thin and she couldn't have asked for more. Then there comes the time when there is no more that we can do for them, other than to love them. It is out of your hands now but you are so in tune with her that you will know when it is time.

I've always been one who prefers to err on the side of caution and felt that if there was any doubt at all about how my dog was feeling, then sooner had to be better than later. I simply could not bear the thought of them suffering one day longer than necessary. As hard as it was at the time, that guided my decisions and made it easier in the long run. Well, not easier . . . it's never easy . . . ever. But it's what we know deep down in our hearts is best because we love them so much. Always, after saying good-bye, it was like a huge weight had been lifted from my heart. The tears still came like a flood but for different reasons.

Maybe I won't explain this quite right but I have to say that the grieving that I went through the last 3 months of Zoe's life was perhaps harder than the grieving that comes afterwards. I don't know why but maybe it's because you are still scared of and anticipating what is to come, knowing that it can't be good . . . and then afterwards, it's like the worst is now behind you and that allows you to move onto a different kind of grief and sadness. It then becomes more of a longing for what you had and an emptiness in the present, but you also realize that you are going to be moving forward from there on out. Sending hugs and prayers for you and Lucy. Sue

Hi Gina,

It is human nature to second guess our decisions once they have been made and cannot be retrieved to do over again. Whether is was a decision of action or inaction - in the end, we always wonder, "But, what if...."

When it comes to our babies, parents like you make the right decisions because those decisions are made out of love for them. No one believes for one minute that you decided on the surgery for Goo for your own personal gain - you made that decision on good faith that it would give her a higher quality of life. And it did. You bought her much more time to enjoy her world, her humans and to revel in their love and adoration. What a wonderful gift you gave her...and continue to give her.

And this is all Lucy knows today - that she is loved, adored, and wanted beyond belief. Tomorrow is a concept our babies do not understand or have a need to understand. They blessedly live in the now. I have wondered if this is because perhaps they have a secret knowledge and acceptance of what the ends holds for all of us one day - an end we humans often fear and do all we can to avoid while these "lesser" creatures understand on a primal level the wonder of being unfettered by a physical shell.

Lucy knows you have done and are doing everything you can out of love for her...and that love never fails, Gina, never.

We are here any time you want to talk, honey.
Hugs,
Leslie and the girls - always

Thank you all so much. It really helps to hear from people that have gone through this and understand.

I'm trying to enjoy the moments and am so grateful Lucy is feeling good now, and trying not to anticipate and wait with dread for the next episode of weakness. I'm also grateful that of all the cancers she could get, this one causes no pain.

On a funny note, I heard from Cedars recently about that tv interview I did with Lucy. She said they were airing it around the 1st of February (not sure when in LA), and was going to try to e-mail me the clip. I said I really didn't want to know when it was going to air, as it was in the middle of a heat wave, they filmed it outside, and I honestly wished I had a burka to wear that day because I looked like absolute hell. But at least I'll have her on film...maybe there's a way I can edit myself out of it....lol

Thanks again all, and will keep you posted on how the Goo is doing. So far so good and we've had 4 good days in a row...

Gina and Goo

Gina,
Just checking in to see how you are doing.
Love & Hugs,
Carrol

Hi Carrol....thanks for checking in on us.

Lucy is still hanging in. She's still having episodes of weakness but snaps out of it pretty quickly. She has such a strong will to live. Just when I think she can't go on anymore she perks up, starts barking at people outside and wags her tail and begs for food. It's getting tougher for me, of course, but I can't justify putting her down yet just out of convenience for me. Just trying to enjoy each day now.