Buddy, The Mighty Lizard Hunter - Suspected Pituitary Macro Tumor

Oh Kathy,
I am so very very sorry, my heart hurts for you. To quote one of our past members " The most unselfish thing you could do was to take his pain away and make it yours" Tears of sadness are flowing as I type this..

Rest in Peace Buddy, tonight, you are our newest and brightest star in the sky......... Tonight a candle will be lit in your honor and memory.

We all hurt with you. We just wish we were there with you, in person. We dont want you to be alone. You dont have to talk, just see my green light is on and you are not alone, okay?

Kathy - So very sad to see this and although I do not know you I am tearful in that I know the immense love you had for Buddy and how crushing it is to lose that brave little companion. What an unselfish person you are allowing Buddy to once again run free. His spirit will always remain with you as you continue to be an angel to so many of us.

Big hugs,
Kerry (Millie's Mama)

Okay, thank you

I am saying goodnight for now, I will be back in the morning around midnight 1 ish your time to check in

I am so sorry Kathy, I wish there was more I could do or say to help your broken heart.

Mel
Xxxxx

Sleep well my sweet Mel.
Big hugs,
Kathy

Tighter hugs back to you. Night xxxx

My green light is still on, gentle hugs.

Kathy:
I had not been on for a while today. Something just told me to go to the computer and check in. I thought I was seeing things when I started reading about Buddy passing. How in the world can this be? Dear God this is so tragic that I cannot believe that two wonderful people who did everything they could for their babies have suffered losses today. I am speechless, this is like a punch in the gut. I just got done praying to God to help Vicki, now you Kathy. This is too much to bare. I know how very much this baby meant to you and I so loved all his memorable antics. I am not understanding what happened here and I don't want you to even try and explain it now. I am so broken for you and Vicki I have cried all day. Every time I think of this disease I cry. I know Buddy was your reason to go thru life, just like Tipper is mine. I cannot and do not want to imagine that being taken away. I am so, so sorry for you, I wish I could comfort you somehow. I am going to say a special prayer for your angel so he can cross the bridge, and live pain free, and for you so you can somehow go on. This has been like losing one of my own today. This hole in the heart is so deep, I don't know as it can ever be filled back up. I don't want to come to this computer and not be able to hear about the cute things Buddy did that day. This is excruciating, like the whole world has fallen apart in one day. I need to go to my Tipper and hug her and tell her Buddy has gone to heaven. God Help Us All.
Patti

Kathy, try to hold tight to knowing that you only have to live through the "firsts" once. First evening, first night, first morning. They tear your heart to shreds, but you only have to live through them one time.

Know you are surrounded with love and caring. And I am touched from here to there by what Addy said earlier. That you have all of us because of Buddy. His love is truly a circle. You took care of him, and he is taking care of you, Kathy. Please let us help Buddy take care of you now.

I can't do it Marianne. It all sounds good, but I am alone with Buddy's stuffed frog and his cuddle blanket. Yes, you are all there, but you are not here. Buddy was the light of my life and now that light has been snuffed out. I take care of my parents who live with me. Buddy was my only ally. He was always there no matter how hard things got. Before he came into my life, I did not have a reason to go home after work. He has always been there to greet me at the door and follow me around like a little nosy shadow. My life has revolved around his meds and his meals and all of that. What do I do with myself now?
Kathy

Oh sweet Kathy, you grieve now. You grieve your darling boy. You hold his frog and his blanket tight to your heart and you cry or you scream or you pace the floor or you crumple into a ball. Because there is nothing else to be done right now besides grieve.

But every once in a while through the night and through tomorrow, I hope it may feel like a comfort to reach out to us here. Just to post a note, or just to read a note. Just to let us know you're with us. No matter how much it hurts, you will live through this evening and this night. And then it will be tomorrow. And then we will talk more about getting through your first day. But you don't have to do that yet. All you have to do is start with this evening.

Before I adopted Zoe, I had lost my cat of 21 years. I lived with her longer than any human. I stayed at work late every night, nothing to come home to until Zoe came into my life a few years later.

Some how we pick up the pieces and when it is time, when we can, we carry on in their name and help another being in one way or another, however we can, Kathy. You always knew what Buddy needed and you will know what you need too although it does not seem like it now.

Send the guys in the white vans. Make sure they have plenty of drugs. That is the only way I'm going to get through tonight.:(

How about the girls in the white vans? I can drive.

Hey, pharmaceuticals can be a good thing when you really need it, nothing wrong with that.

Kathy,
I am so sorry! I know this pain too and I also know how much you loved Buddy and gave him all that you could, even at the end. You helped him find peace without pain. So many people do not have the strength to make that decision.

As much as it hurts, you did what was best for Buddy No one can ask anything less.

In time, when you're ready - consider helping another furlet in need. There are so many who need great humans to live with. Each are special.
HUGS

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by addy

Hey, pharmaceuticals can be a good thing when you really need it, nothing wrong with that.

---

Yup, "Better living through chemistry" and all that.

I can ride shotgun with you in the van, Addy. :o

I can't be trusted with a bottle of pills right now. I would be too inclined to join Buddy. It is best I stay away from them.:o

OK Missy, no pills for you.

Kathy, if you feel up to it, would you tell us how Buddy came into your life? You don't have to talk at all right now. But I would love to hear Buddy's story sometime when you are ready.

I've looked at your note it seems a million times and the words just don't seem adequate. I wish that we were All right there with you tonight, and tomorrow and every day that you need a friend to share a tear with, to laugh over funny memories with.

I hope that together, whether next door or thousands of miles away, that we are all stronger together than apart.

You can only get through anything, one moment at a time. Only someone truly amazing could have gotten this far, taken such good care of Buddy and been strong enough to let him go, when every fiber of your being is screaming no. A love and devotion so strong, so pure, will bring with it a pain equally strong. It is easy to say that time will heal and the pain will somehow lessen. None of us, except Vicki, stand in your shoes tonight. We can only say that we will be here if you want us and hope that you know that you and Buddy are loved a great deal. You are a integral part of our community here.

hugs,
Sharlene

Sharlene is so right. I see your posts to new members, jumping right in to help, always thinking of others, no matter what you are going through. I guess I may be selfish, wanting you to stay here with us, not drift away. Truth is, we need you too.

I just got back home Kathy...I was afraid to sign on after what was going on earlier today. I saw the sad news right away....I'm just here crying and I have no words, except to say how sorry I am...truly sorry.
We both started here right around the same time. You and Buddy were the first ones I "knew" on the board and I'm just so, so sad about what happened. I wish there was something I could do to help you feel better but I know there is nothing I can say that can take all this sadness away. It's a deep pain you have to bear right now and everyone who has ever lost a pet knows how much you're hurting.
I'm thinking of you..and I'm thinking of Buddy just hoping you will be okay tonight Kathy.
Sending a big comforting hug to you,
Barbara

I just loaded three photos of Buddy taken today. These were taken right before we left for our final ride together.
Kathy

The photos are in a new album called run free.
Kathy

Oh Kathy, may it be a çomfort to know that your sweet Buddy is no longer in pain, no more meds, no more vets, no more tests, just peace and free reign on all the lizards in Heaven...I have seen the look of Mom let me go now, before Sim I had a dog named Belle, and she too gave me the look that only you could know....she was old and tired and had bad legs so she wanted to run again and chase squirrels, so I let her go....so you let Buddy go and now he is enjoying health and meeting lots of other dogs in Heaven, eating great and enjoying the beautiful scenery...I do believe we will see our fur babies again, because everything that makes us happy will be in Heaven, and I know Buddy made you very happy and he still does, his memory lives on in your heart and in all you amazing stories about his adventures, bless you hon, here for you....

Can't help crying and big lump in my throat when I saw the photos. Such a sad day.
I hope you are able to get at least a little rest tonight.
Barbara

Thank you ladies.:)
Kathy

Kathy,
I am so very sorry to read about Buddy. Words I know can't take away the pain because the love we have for our babies goes to the core of our soul. Time does help but the pain will never go away. It is comforting knowing that we would have never regretted the time we got to spend with our babies even though our time has to come to a painful end. We are all here for you and please don't leave. I keep a candle burning in my Angel Bo's honor and that has helped also.
I know Bo is showing Buddy all the cool places to find those lizards and I am sure Buddy is helping Bo catch a few. Prayers for you my friend.

So sorry in your loss ... ((( hUGS ))) .. From Natcho & Lara
Catherine ..

The Last Battle

If it should be that I grow frail and weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then will you do what must be done,
For this -- the last battle -- can't be won.
You will be sad I understand,
But don't let grief then stay your hand,
For on this day, more than the rest,
Your love and friendship must stand the test.
We have had so many happy years,
You wouldn't want me to suffer so.
When the time comes, please, let me go.
Take me to where to my needs they'll tend,
Only, stay with me till the end
And hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.
I know in time you will agree
It is a kindness you do to me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I have been saved.
Don't grieve that it must be you
Who has to decide this thing to do;
We've been so close -- we two -- these years,
Don't let your heart hold any tears.

When I close my eyes, I see Buddy lying on the exam room table after the light has left his eyes. He was always completely trusting of everyone. I stood there, rubbed his face and told him to go get the lizards, while he took his last breath. How can I go to sleep when I see that when I close my eyes?
Kathy

I am back, I just woke up.

That will pass, I will be honest Kathy it took me a while to think past the last few months but it does happen

You were so brave for him, he told you and you heard.

Just got in from work and arrived to see the news of Buddy's passing. I knew you would do the right thing when it was time Kathy, you are such a strong woman and not only the love of Buddy's life but an inspiration to us all .

I have no words that can comfort you right now as it must just suck. But me and Mel are here with you through these darks hours and are holding your hands and sending the biggest cyber hugs and I am waving to Buddy madly as he crosses the bridge onto the biggest lizard hunt of his life ((((((((((((((((((KATHY)))))))))))))))) xxxxxxxxxxx

Doing the right thing sucks!

It sure does. If there was anything else you could have done you would have done it Kathy

I could have kept him going with pain meds, but that would have been for me, not for him.
Kathy

It BLOODY sucks, there I said a bad word, but circumstances found me looking for the one that might cause the least offense :p

And it should always be about them not us.

Dear Kathy,
I have been crying all night after reading this news I feared about sweet Buddy. I couldn't even bring myself to post until now. I know there are no words that will help ease the pain you feel now, but I am here with you, as we all are. My heart breaks for you, as I completely understand how devastating this is for you. My pups are my whole world also, they are my children, just as Buddy was for you. I know how hard this first night is. All of us who have lost a precious baby understand how much it hurts. I wish I could be there to give you a big hug and just to sit with you. I wish there was more I could do. Sending lots of love and big tight hugs.

Tina

Yes, it should be about them. But they are not the ones left with a broken heart clutching a stuffed frog and a dog's cuddle blanket. His blanket still smells like him.

Ok girls, I have chocolates, fish n chips, coke, tissues, wine for the four of us and anyone else who pops in.... I think I have us covered for the next few hours! Have you eaten anything Kathy? I know I always seem to resort to eating in times of stress but I so worry about you and hope you have at least had a wee snack and a drink of some kind.

HI Mel and Tina, I am glad you are here as we as a group have strength in numbers and the amount of posts you have Kathy show how loved you are on this group and how everyone is circling to hold you close xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx