My Pug Scoop (Precious Scoop has passed... )

Tonight it will be 3 weeks since my Scoop is no longer with us. I miss him so much. My heart still aches as much now as it did the night we lost him.

Leslie-I want to respond, ask you about your post but I am just having trouble right now doing that. I can't think straight.

I often thought to my self that the hardest thing in the world to do would have to make the decision to set a day when he would have to leave us. I just didn't know if I could make that decision. If I knew he was suffering then that would have been different. I didn't want Scoop to suffer. I probably would have had to rely on someone else to decide. I thought if Scoop would go when he was ready MAYBE it wouldn't be as hard thinking he knew it was time. Well, it sucks! Big time. It's worse than I ever thought it would be. Scoop decided to do it on his own but it hurts that he was in the hospital, not at home and his family who loves him so much was not there with him to hold him, give him ear rubs, kiss him, hug him and tell him how much we love him and it hurts like all H--L!
I just hope he didn't suffer and he knew how much we all love him. I know the nurses there loved and cared for him but it's not the same as his family.

The one nurse told me she gave him an ear rub shortly before he went into cardiac arrest. I guess I'm jealous and sad it wasn't me doing that for him. As far as I know, that was the last thing he knew before he passed and it wasn't me there. I wasn't there for him and it HURTS!

Vicki:
I cannot get thru any of your postings without breaking down. I am so sorry at the way things turned out and wish I could turn the clock back so you could be with your baby at his time of passing. God Bless you and Scoop in heaven. I know how you feel and understand that it still hurts very much. I hope you can get some peace some way, some how.Blessings
Patti

Vicki,

I had vets tell me that when a dog is in bad shape, their bodies have a way of not feeling pain and some aren't aware of what is happening to them. It's a natural occurrence that keeps them pain and stress free.

Also, I'm sure that the vet gave Scoop the necessary medications to ensure that he wasn't in pain.

Patti, I'm sorry. I know you have a lot to deal with Tipper. I know my posts have been depressing. I don't mean to upset you. I just can't get myself past any of this at all right now. I just feel like I need to say things. I am so stressed out and I can't relax. My insides feel like they are tied in knots. I feel horrible.

Valerie, I don't think Scoop was on any pain meds, at least not that I was aware of. The ER doctor that horrible night told me several times, Scoop was a sick little boy. The next week when I talked with Scoop's IMS I said to her that I didn't think Scoop was that sick. She told me that she didn't think he was either. This whole thing has been a nightmare. Just makes me wonder if things could have turned out differently. I miss my Scoop so very much.

Oh Vicki, I so understand how you are feeling, this sucks big time.....maybe Scoop knew that you couldn't be there at the end, maybe he knew it would be too hard for you...sometimes I wish I didn't see Simba lying still on a table, thats a hard thing to get out of my mind...after he got his shot he wasn't there anymore just sleeping in a coma vet said, I replay it everyday, I hated making that decision, but I had to for Sim....he was suffering, and I couldn't bear to see that anymore....so Sim is gone and free and able to walk and eat and poo like nobodys business, but the main thing is that he is happy...and some day I will see him again....take care hon, here for you!!!!

Oh, thanks Letti, I guess no matter how it happens, it is hard. I just wish the last thing he knew was his family was with him. I am so glad I got to spend about 1 1/2 hours with him earlier that evening and some time with him in the late morning. My last memory of Scoop is seeing him on the table covered with a white blanket. After I got the phone call I made it to the hospital in 10 minutes but he was already gone. Maybe if he had given them some sign he was having a problem maybe they could have helped him sooner but till they saw he wasn't breathing it was too late. CPR didn't help him. Just so many what ifs. It sucks.

oh yes, those what if's, and even now with a new pup, I'm still in the cushings mindset, it's going to take awhile!

Vicki,
I am on the same page with you and Letti. I have my own set of what-ifs that I am tackling also. I think it's part of the grieving process. If it isn't, it sure as heck should be.:o Thank you for your nice comment about Rosebud. It does help having her around, but I still miss Buddy terribly, just like you miss Scoop. I am very thankful that we all have each other to talk to. Great big hugs for you my dear.

I know how you feel Letti,

I was there holding my mother's hand when she died. I told her that it was ok to go and that we would take care of dad. Almost immediately after that she began to feel cold and they told us that she was gone.

Part of me can't stand that that is the last sight in my mind of my mother, and the other is grateful that I was there for her.

Unfortunately, I have had the same experience with beloved pets and still have those final moments ingrained in my memory.

Either way, it hurts.

Vicki:
I did not tell you about reading your post to make you feel bad, so please don't. I just wanted to let you know I am hurting for you and Scoop. You say and do whatever your heart needs to. That is why the rest of us are here, to pick up the pieces for our dear friends. You need to get it out, whatever you want to say you know I support you. I too am frightened about what this disease has done inside my Tipper. In a way I want to get an Ultra Sound, in another way I don't because if there is something now that I cannot do anything about, it will kill me. I am thinking and praying on it. I am going tore- contact Dr. Bruette and see if he can tell me how to get some research started on this disease. This cannot go on taking babies and ruining lives. People are behind cancer research for people, and they love their pets so I am sure they would support this. I see myself in you Vicki, and second guessing, and all the what ifs. God Bless You and Scoop.
Patti

Vicki:
Here are a few things to look at for jewelry that holds pet fur. Some are really nice and will last a long time.
Cremationjewelry.com
SphangleJewellery.com you can have the hair in resin so you can see it with this one.
keepsakejewellery.com
I know there is another less expensive I will find it and let you know.
Patti

Hi Vicki

Just sending you a big hug, hope to hear from you soon

Lots of love

Mel
Xxxxxxx

Vicki:
I know things have not gotten any easier. I know you replay this back in your head a million times over. Just know I am thinking of you constantly and Tipper and I pray for you and sweet Scoop in heaven. Blessings
Patti

Patti, Thank you for the jewelry information.
You're right. Things have not gotten any easier. Thank you for always thinking of my Scoop and me and saying a prayer.
I hope you and Tipper are doing OK.

Mel, I want to talk with you. Sometimes I don 't have it in me. Right now I am so drained and I feel like I can't think straight. I sure do need a big, tight hug.

Vicki

That is ok, you speak when you want I am not going anywhere. I know how hard it can be to even formulate thoughts let alone words

Hour at a time if a day is too much

Love
Mel
Xxxx

Hi Vicki,

I know it's been hard, it is for us still with our Lulu, I think of her all the time. I really worried about Nellie, (we have two sister cats, the other is Molly). Lulu was Nellie's dog. She for the longest time would mourn, and still does a bit, for Lulu.

I am so glad we got Stanley. You know he is no Lulu, but boy does he show his love for us, and our Nellie will let Stanley nose her, without doing much, and the occasional hisses are getting less and less.

Have a good weekend, and give your Raleigh a kiss for me and my wife, Moo too.

Vicki, thinking of you and wanted to send hugs. I wish I could do more to ease your pain. Xxxxx

Thank you everyone for caring so much. It has been and still is very hard for me. Every little thing reminds me that Scoop is no longer here and then I cry.
I know you all are dealing with your own heartache and I appreciate all of you being here.
Hugs to all.

I have some of Scoop's fur. Does anyone know if it is best kept in something that is airtight or not?
I've thought about some kind of jewelry but I'm not sure yet. I have some fur that is in a plastic pill bottle with a tight fitting lid and some in a zip baggie. The hospital did that for me.

Vicki, I saved some fir off of Spike, a long-haired Alaskan looking dog, back in 1990. I put it in a vial, that I got when I worked in hospital laboratories. It still remains in good condition. Speaking of that, I have Lulu's baby teeth. She came to us at about 3 to 4 months in age, Nov. 2000. She started to lose her baby teeth pretty quickly during Dec. 2000, so I put them in another vial. Still have them, looked at them a couple of months ago when she passed. What we do to keep memories alive.

Well off to bed, our Stanley will soon be out of bed, to check on me. He thinks he owns me. LOL!

Vicki, I have kept some fur from my Barkis since he passed nine years ago. It is in a little painted bowl, and open to the air. So far, it has stayed just exactly the same.

Sending you tons of hugs,
Marianne

Vicki:
Since a dogs hair is living when they are with us it would probably deteriorate some if left out, but would still be ok I would think. I keep Tipper's sealed up as I want to try and keep her scent on it. Sending you hugs, and thinking of you all the time. Blessings
Patti

I have looked at this site http://www.gatewaypetmemorial.com/ several times and am going to buy a necklace with Keesh's ashes. Is there something like this in your neighbourhood?

Thanks everybody. I have 2 separate little patches of fur. The hospital gave me some in a plastic pill container the night Scoop passed. The next day I knew he was still at the hospital and I asked if I could get some more. They put that in a plastic zip bag. The fur in the container kind of clumped together and then separated into 3 little clumps. The fur in the bag seems to be going all over the bag. Just don't know what is the best.

I thought about a piece of jewelry to put some in. Just not sure how well fur will go in a necklace. I would like a heart with a paw print on it or a paw shaped necklace.

Vicki, I just wanted to extend my sympathy on Scoop's passing. I don't get on here much and read your recent posts. I am so sorry.

Sending hugs, peace and mercy.

Love, Sharon, Norman and Millie

Dear Vicky
I cry with you. Your baby is now at peace. My Apollo died Sept 9,2012, and the pain and grief still is there. I received a beautiful heart necklace with paw print which says "always in my heart" the heart separates and has a tiny urn. I put Apollo's fur in it, wear it around my neck and hold it a lot. I also put some of his fur in a velvet little bag have it hanging on my car mirror and reach out for it often, also his collar is on my car rear view window. My dear do what ever you need to keep Scoop close to you. No words I can say will make it better. Know Angel Scoop is being greeted with love by Angel Apollo. He is watching down on you know. Write to him, and let your feelings out. We are here for you. With love and sympathy.
Sonja, Angel Apollo.

Sharon and Sonja,
Thank you for your kind, loving words.
The past, almost 4 weeks, have been really hard. I miss my Scoop so much.

Marianne, That's good to hear that Barkis' fur is still the same after 9 years.
It seems like it will be OK in a vial or open to the air.

Sonja, I saw a necklace on Amazon that sounds like the one you described. I like that one but I wasn't sure if the fur would go in the urn since I thought it was made for ashes I was afraid it would be too small. Since you have some of Apollo's fur in it maybe I'll give it a try.

Bob and Moo,
I thought that was so neat that you have Lulu's baby teeth. I wish I had Scoop's. This might sound strange but I did keep some of Scoop's nail clippings from one of his last clippings that we did.

Sending hugs and prayers to you Vicki, this is so hard when they pass, and hard when they have the disease, really no winning in this journey.....I think its cool what you save of Scoops no matter what it is...I wish this would get easier, but it doesn't seem to for right now....take care.....

know any piece of your baby you can hold onto is not strange. We hold on to what ever we can. Love Sonja and Angel Apollo.
I sleep with Apollo's little pillow and have his little shirt on it to comfort me. When you have loved as deeply as we have, do what ever makes you feel better.

Thanks Letti and Sonja

This morning has been really tough. I don't know if it's because tonight will be 4 weeks since Scoop left us and Mondays are very difficult anyway or if I would be feeling this miserable no matter what day it is.

Vicki:
Thanks for thinking of my Tipper. I know you are hurting so just talk when you want to and do what helps you day by day. I pray for you and sweet Scoop. I will walk in your shoes one day, and I know you will be there for me. Blessings
Patti

Patti, Thank you for the prayers. Hopefully you won't be walking in my shoes for a long time to come.

So very sad.

Vicki:
I am sad along with you as I know how deeply you love Scoop, and always will. The thought of 44 passing from this disease this year alone is awful. We need to get rid of this horrible disease it is taking too many wonderful much loved babies. Blessings
Patti

Patti, It is such a horrible disease. I wish there would have never been such a thing in the first place.
It upsets so many lives. I can't believe my Scoop as been gone 4 weeks. I miss him so much. Last night my daughter said too that she still can't believe that Scoop isn't here anymore. I know my husband is still having a hard time too.

Hey Vicki, sending hugs and prayers, just take one day at a time and what helps me is that Simba would want me to be happy because he is a fighter, so I have to be too, here for you!!!

Letti, Thank you. My Scoop was so brave and a real fighter, too, like Simba. He had to be with everything he went through this past year. Me, well that's a different story. I have such a hard time with everything. I am not strong.

Vicki,

it takes someone strong and dedicated to see Scoop through this illness and you did what was best for him with what you had available.

That makes you very strong.