My Pug Scoop (Precious Scoop has passed... )

Thank you everyone. You are all so sweet. I brought my Scoop home this afternoon. It was so very hard. My tears flow anytime, anywhere I am and picking up Scoop was very hard. They flowed quite a bit then. I wanted to bring him home from the hospital when he was better. Not the way I did today. We made our last ride together in the car. I took his blanket and his pug bag along like I used to when we would go in the car.
I sleep holding that blanket and his little coat that he wore when it was cold out. My daughter brought home some flowers for Scoop. A bouquet of field flowers with sun flowers. She wants Scoop to have sunflowers.
I got a certificate saying it was an individual cremation. There is also a beautiful poem. The box is a beautiful wooden carved box with a plate on the front with "Scoop" on it.

I got another card in the mail today. I was a little confused at first. The return address was from Morris Animal Foundation. The card says Dear Kostick Family, The Doctors and Staff of Allentown Animal Clinic made a contribution to Morris Animal Foundation
In Memory of Scoop
This generous gift supports science that will make the world a brighter place for animals & those who care about them.
We hope you find comfort in knowing that your loved one's memory will live on through future generations of animals & the people who love them.
Please accept our heartfelt condolences for your loss.

The Allentown Animal Clinic was Scoop's GP Vet. That was so very thoughtful of them.

www.MorrisAnimalFoundation.org in case anyone would like to check them out.

That is wonderful! The vet is paying it forward in Scoop's name.

Hi Vicki, we have Lulu in a nice wooden box too. Look at her every day. You know we are all a bit happier, including our two cats, Nellie, by my side now, before I retire, I was really worried about. I now that our Stanley, pit-bull mix is no yellow lab Lulu, but I even see the difference in her. She is our skinny cat sister, but I think she even got skinnier after Lulu was gone. I will still say Lulu's name to her and pet her, to let her know that Stanley doesn't replace Lulu, but rather is a gift, that I believe perhaps Lulu helped arrange for us. Lulu wants her cat sister to carry on and be happy, like she used to be cuddled up with Lulu.

It hasn't got to that point yet, but Nellie doesn't run off as much, and Stanley is so good with cats in the house, that he doesn't usually give it a thought they are here, though he does like to start a chase occasionally.

Dear Vikki,

I am glad Scoop is now home where he knew so much love.

(((HUGS)))

Vicki:
I just cry uncontrollably when I read your posts. My heart hurts so badly for you. I wish I could take this hurt all away for you. I as so sorry for the way Scoop's journey ended. He is gone way too soon. I find myself waking in the middle of the night more and more, talking to God and asking him for a miracle for my girl. I knew from the beginning when you first started posting that you adored your sweet boy. I wish I could go back in time and change this all for you. I hate to think of you suffering like this. I thought about having my Tipper preserved as I don't think I can stand never seeing her again. I am not certain that I could handle seeing her that way though. I am torn, but want to try and think ahead as I know what a basket case I will be. It's funny the things you think of and do when you are desperate. God Help you thru this Vicki, and God Bless Scoop.
Patti

nice to see you got your baby back home with you and received a wonderful send off from the vets office,such a kind gesture... sending you wishes for a peaceful heart and abundant blessings...take care vicki we are all here for you hun...patty(milo)meka xoxox

I got another card today. It is from the doctors Scoop saw back in November. He went to a hospital about an hour and a quarter away from where we live. That is where he had his first MRI. It looked at his ear and his tumor. He saw the neurologist there and an IMS. So that is where he had his ear surgery done.
The doctors he saw there signed a card. I thought that was very nice of them since it has been a while since he had been there.
We got 9 cards and the book signed by the hospital where he passed away at.

Sending hugs and prayers, what wonderful vets you had for your Angel....

Hi Vicki,
I'm just dropping in to give you a big hug. I wish it could be more:o It was very thoughtful the docs to send you those cards.xxxxx

This morning my husband and I shared a very special moment about Scoop. It was so very touching to me. Don't want to give the details but it was special to me.

Letti, Kathy,

Hugs back to you.

Awww. That's sweet. It's wonderful to know that they feel right along with us even thought men don't often show when they're upset.

Chris went to Daisy's first IMS appointment with us. I was so nervous and he offered to go which helped so much!

Hi Vicki, I love how all your vets have been sending cards that is very sweet and caring of them. How is Raleigh coping without his mate? Sending big hugs to you all xx

Valerie, you're so right.

Trish, Raleigh seems to be doing OK. I was touched by the cards, book, donation in memory of Scoop. He was a very special guy. Loved by many. His time was too short here with us.

Tonight it will be 2 weeks since he left us. Missing him so very much.
Love my Scoop forever.

Vicki,

What helped Moo and myself, was that we lit a candle on the weekly and monthly dates, for a while for Lulu, and said a little prayer. It will be six months August 8 and I hope we can do it again for her. I know I will think about her at Christmas time, we had the tree moved closer to the kitchen, and I remember stepping around her as she sat near the tree to get into the family room with the tree.

Again, I plan a video slide show on her, when I get working full-time. And I have been getting the calls on job possibilities it seems at least 5 or 6 times a day. So I am also saying a prayer every day for that job.

Our pit-bull mix Stanley has been a blessing. He looks a bit like your Raleigh, and I should post a couple more pictures of him here. I do have one up in my picture log.

Hi Vicki,
Just sending you hugs. :)

hugs,
sharlene

I see what you mean about Stanley and Raleigh.
Good luck hearing about a job.
I try to light a candle everyday on here.


Thanks Sharlene.

Big hugs Vicki, I know how hard this is. That is so nice that your vet sent a card and made a donation to the Morris Animal Foundation in Scoop's memory. They do a lot of good work. My vet did the same thing when I lost my Dakota, and it really meant a lot to me. You continue in my prayers Vicki.

Tina

Vicki:
Continually thinking and praying for you, and for God to give you strength. I know your life will never be the same without your baby Scoop. I truly hope in time you know that none of this was your fault, and you were a relentless advocate for Scoop, and stopped at nothing to help him. God Bless You Vicki
Patti

Tina, Thank you for the prayers. I looked at the Morris Animal Foundation website. They do a lot of good work for all kinds of animals. Which is very nice. I was hoping maybe to see something about Cushings but they still do lots of good work.

Patti, Thank you, too, for your continued prayers. I am still so heartbroken. It hasn't gotten any easier. I still have so much going through my head about what happened. I miss him so much. Right now besides being heartbroken, I am so angry.

If cortisol levels aren't controlled can it cause the immune system to be compromised?

Vicki:
Yes absolutely it will positively cause the immune system to be compromised. I am doing ok, but am still highly concerned about you. I pray for and precious Scoop every day. I hope the days are getting better, but sadly think I already know the answer to that question. I know where you are coming from, and it is a place of deep, deep love for your baby. God Bless you and give you strength to take it one day at a time. I wish I could take away your pain, and bring a healthy Scoop back to you. Blessings
Patti

Hi Vicki,

You are doing so good, honey! I know our precious Scoop is just so proud of his mom as are we all.

Hang in there and keep plugging, Mom!
Hugs,
Leslie and the gang

I am in this place right now that I am thinking the vets screwed up and I should have known better. UGH!! I am so angry, frustrated and hurt right now along with my broken heart and it does not put me in a very good place. I'll talk about it more later.

((((((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))))) I wish I could say something to help.:o

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Budster's Mom

((((((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))))) I wish I could say something to help.:o

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Exactly above

Hi Vicki,

I know that our Stanley has certainly perked us up, as we only had Lulu. And you know she certainly doesn't replace her. We may one get another female yellow lab, and Moo wants to call her Stella, and she will probably remind me of Lulu more.

But I can tell you Stanley has been the best thing for my wife and for our two cats, Molly & Nellie. Nellie especially would curl her blonde body next to Lulu's blonde body. I don't see that happening yet with her blonde body and Stanley's black body, but they do sniff each other. Nellie doesn't hide as much. BUT, the main thing I feel like Nellie is not as lost as she was. She would mourn, and go to the place Lulu passed away, and I didn't know what to do for her. Her color and her spirit is much better, than it has been, Molly's too.

I know Raleigh must be having a hard-time with this, so I don't know if you will think of getting another dog for him. Just something to think about.

Vicki,
often what alerts people to Cushings is the fact that their dog has something going on that requires a vet visit; such as a skin infection, UTI or something else that is because the cortisol has been high and their immune system was compromised. Add this to the fact that many of the Cushings symptoms are attributed to the aging process and it's easy to miss until multiple issues coexist.

This is exactly how we discovered Daisy's Cushings.
Our vet visit was due to her fur looking dull and lifeless, skin flaking, balding areas, and she smelled like "dirty dog" very shortly after a bath which I knew wasn't normal.

The only Cushings symptoms that she was were excessive thirst and ravenous appetite, but the pot belly wasn't there and neither was the panting or intolerance to heat. The first vet treated the skin infection with an antibiotic that wasn't quite strong enough to cure it completely and I went to another vet recommended by a friend who looked at her coat and asked me a few questions, treated and cured the infection, and then determined that an LDDS test was in order. I immediately found this forum and thankfully learned enough to prompt us to seek an IMS specialist because I was afraid that the second vet was recommending a once daily dose of Vetyrol that was quite high to begin with.

Now here we are. With all of you and I truly believe that Daisy would've been subject to incorrect treatment if it hadn't been for what I learned on this forum.

As you know, every dog is different, responds differently to treatment, and they can't tell us what is wrong. I'm sure that all of this plays a huge part in the lack of education for many vets. It's up to us to learn and educate them further unfortunately.

HUGS

Vicki, unfortunately Valerie has posted some information in her previous post what alerts owner's to Cushing's that is not quite accurate.

Quote:

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often what alerts people to Cushings is the fact that their dog has something going on that requires a vet visit; such as a skin infection, UTI or something else that is because the cortisol has been low and their immune system was compromised.

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The cortisol is actually too high over the long term which leads to immune system suppression. This suppression will definitely cause various types of infections which are frequently difficult to get control of & heal.

Debbie

I knew the answer to my question when I asked it but I wanted to make sure I was right. Last fall before Scoop's cortisol level was brought down with the Vetoryl, he had many infections, his ear, his calcinosis cutis, infection in his eye with the ulcer. After his eye infection he didn't get any more until this staff infection in his blood. His cortisol level on his last ACTH that was the end of March was post, just above 2. Scoop's vet took him off the Vetoryl many, many weeks ago to see if it would help his picky eating, which it didn't. She didn't put him back on it. So because he wasn't on the Vetoryl for quite a while did it cause his cortisol to rise? Did that compromise his immune system? If he would have been on the Vetoryl would Scoop still be here with me?

Another thing I was going to talk about on here but haven't yet is the morning of July 1, Scoop passed away that night, the IMS did an abdominal ultrasound. After she was done with it I went to visit Scoop. The IMS came in the room and talked to me about it. Scoop had started with the eye movement that goes with Vestibular disease. I don't know when it started. I didn't notice it on Sunday and it wasn't mentioned to me by the ER doctor. I don't remember the IMS mentioning this that day but the next week when we had a talk she said the morning she did the ultrasound she saw for just a fleeting moment Scoop's head moving quickly up and down. She said something about his tongue, too. She said it could have been something neurological, like little emboli in his brain. Scoop had been on low dose aspirin to help prevent blood clots. Again his vet took him off it to see if it would help with his diarrhea, it didn't. She never put him back on it. If he did have blood clots could it have been prevented if he had been on the aspirin? I am so frustrated and upset thinking that if he had been put back on these meds would he still be here with me?

I knew that the meds would help with these things but it didn't sink in that these things could happen since he wasn't on them. I'm hate myself that I wasn't on top of it. It really upsets me that his vet didn't put him back on them knowing this stuff. Oh it hurts so, so bad. If the IMS is right and he passed away from multiple organ failure, how long was this working on him? Was he in pain or uncomfortable and I didn't know it?
I JUST WANT TO SCREAM!!
Please wake me up from this nightmare. I can't take any more. I feel so guilty that I didn't, couldn't help him. Thinking that maybe he could still be here if I would have just realized about the meds. When I think of the last time I visited him, about 5 hours before he passed away, I see his little face looking at me, even though he was blind, it looked like he was looking at me and asking me to help him. I didn't think of it like that then but now I do.
I miss my Scoop so much!!

Vicki, I am so sorry.
I wish I had the magic words to make it all go away and everything be better.
I know that you tried everything, that you never gave up and I can't think of anything that you didn't try to help Scoop.
Guilt, anger, it is all a part of grief and missing Scoop so much. I know that you know that too. Logic though has no place when the heart hurts. Take time to heal your heart.

hugs,
Sharlene and Molly Muffin

Thanks Debbie,
I typed the opposite of what I was thinking!

Between the heat and sitting at Smilow waiting for dad, worrying - my brain is mush.


Vicki,

sweetie I am crying as I type this because I most definitely can relate to the feelings that you are having now!
Reading your post has brought back tears that I thought were long spent in regard to the confusion that I felt when two beloved pets passed away despite having received vigilant veterinary care. Cindi, my beloved cockatiel had a vet visit the previous day in fact. The second, Amber, had violent seizures suddenly, we called the vet but before we had a chance to leave the house - it all happened so fast without warning and then she was gone.

Dear God how I know your pain and I hurt that you are going through this :(

Like you, I also question the reasoning behind taking Scoop off of Vetyrol for so long instead of abstaining for a week or two and then resuming at a lower dose, but again - each dog's situation and response is unique. I've learned through reading other members' threads that there is no "one size fits all" treatment plan. Especially with Cushings, and clearing infections is paramount to getting accurate test results. If you don't have accurate tests results, how can you know how much Vetyrol to prescribe?

I have the utmost faith in Daisy's IMS but even with that - to date, the "underlying systemic infection" that she suspected might be eColi was never officially named despite her level of knowledge.

I promise that I'm not siding with the vet, but I can see how complicated everything combined can be and I would also want clarification. Any good vet is more than willing to address your concerns.

I understand your need for answers and I hope that you get them.
Grieving does lead to healing and we each must do it in our own way and time, but please don't blame yourself because many things are inexplicable.

What I do know is that you did your best with the resources available and that look that Scoop gave you was undoubtedly one of pure, unconditional love that only our beloved pets can give. You will have that love and wonderful memories in your heart forever.

Despite the pain of loss that I have felt too many times and still do sometimes, it is that love, companionship, and wonderful individuality that keeps me wanting to always have animals as a part of my family :)

Time does heal all wounds and you'll find that the bad days will be farther apart.

Big, BIG hugs!

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Originally Posted by scoora

In mid Nov Scoop had the MRI done that showed his ear infection that lead to the surgery and it showed his pituitary tumor. It wasn't on the radiologist report but I asked the neurologist if he could give me the measurements of it. He told me to the best of his ability with the equipment they had he said it was approx. 8mmx3mm. To me that's pretty large for a dog with a head like Scoop's.

The radiologist report said: There are no masses or other structural abnormalities seen in the brain, but the pituitary gland is enlarged and protrudes dorsally from the sella turcica into the hypothalamic region. Mild ventricular enlargement and enlarged sulci are most likely due to age-related brain atrophy.

Then down further on the report he says: The appearance of the pituitary gland is most compatible with a pituitary macroadenoma. The mass is not causing any significant mass effect or compression of adjacent tissues at this time, but if it continues to grow then it may affect the optic nerve, hypothalamus, or thalamus. So this is why I contantly worry about the tumor.
Thanks again Marianne

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Hi sweetie,

The biggest nightmare and deepest fear with Cushing's for me is the possibility of a pup with PDH developing a macro. I have spent countless hours staring at Squirt's head wondering, praying, pleading, bartering...."please, please don't let that thing start to grow." Most PDH pups remain in the micro category, never experiencing the neurological effects...but sadly our Scoop was one of the few who did develop the macro. :(

In Nov. of 2012, the tumor was 8mmx3mm. It had 8 months to grow and start to effect Scoop's body functions. There was very little, if anything, you could have done to prevent that from happening that wouldn't have reduced the quality of his life, just in a different manner than the tumor was. Hypophysectomys and radiation can help in many ways but they are not perfected to the point yet where the pup can realistically be expected to return to the normal life like they had before. We sort of trade one set of issues for others. Sometimes that trade is well worth it, sometimes it isn't.

Cushing's effects a loop in the body between the hypothalamus, thalamus, pituitary, and adrenal glands. This loop dictates a great many of the bodily functions - including the endocrine system; Cushing's and diabetes are both categorized as diseases of the endocrine system. I think if you will research these four glands, in particular the hypothalamus, thalamus and pituitary glands, you will see that the macro had probably grown enough to really cause our sweet boy major problems - up to and including the organ failure. When you combine the macro with the existing diabetes, our poor boy simply had more than he could overcome.

Here is a short, simple sample of what these three glands do in the canine, and human, body -

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The hypothalamus controls many activities needed to stay alive. It controls the production of hormones and creates the urge to drink, sleep and eat. The hypothalamus also regulates body fluid and salt balance and indirectly maintains breathing and heart and urinary function.

…signs of depression, pacing or circling

...is responsible for orchestrating several behaviors that are considered "maintenance" behaviors (such as eating, drinking, body temperature). In addition, the hypothalamus helps govern the endocrine system (glands that produce hormones)

Most crucially it is the connection between the nervous system and the endocrine system by means of the pituitary gland.

The pituitary gland is termed the "Master Gland" because it directs other organs and endocrine glands, such as the adrenal glands, to suppress or induce hormone production. The pituitary gland is involved in several functions of the body including:
• Growth Hormone Production
• Production of Hormones That Act on Other Endocrine Glands
• Production of Hormones That Act on the Muscles and the Kidneys
• Endocrine Function Regulation
• Storage of Hormones Produced by the Hypothalamus

The structural location of the gland is very important and the way in which the glandular and nervous segments interrelate is key to the nervous and endocrine systems.

The thalamus is a structure deep within the brain stem that receives sensory information from the nervous system and passes the information to the cerebral cortex and other parts of the brain. It acts as a director of information related to bodily functions such as seeing, sleeping, hearing, waking, tasting, and touching.

The thalamus is responsible for relaying sensory information such as hearing, sight, touch and pain. The thalamus also enables a dog to selectively concentrate and focus on one thing at a time.

The sensory and emotional information relayed to the thalamus is then sent to the parietal and occipital lobes of the dog’s brain for decoding. Once this information has been digested and processed according to previous experiences or memories, the data is then sent to the frontal lobe and translated into plans and actions. The thalamus also contributes to the monitoring and regulation of motor activity initiated in the cerebral cortex. This information is then sent from the cerebral cortex to the cerebellum to aid the co-coordinating center of the brain which is responsible for muscle activity.

Besides relaying sensory and emotional input, the thalamus plays an important role in the expression of attentional behavior. In contrast to the general arousal functions served by the reticular formation, the thalamus mediates a more selective, "informed" attentional response toward sensory inputs. The thalamus enables a dog to selectively concentrate and focus on one thing at a time.
Primarily, the thalamus is involved in the limbic system, as it regulates motor function, senses and perception. The thalamus is also in control of regulating sleep patterns and enabling states of alertness. Along with the brainstem, the thalamus is also involved in the ability to balance. When the thalamus receives sensory information from the environment, it converts the information to usable signals, which are sent to the cerebral cortex for processing and interpretation. In addition, the cerebral cortex can also send received and interpreted information back to the thalamus to distribute amongst other areas of the brain.

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At this point in time with the little knowledge I have, if Squirt were to develop a macro, I would stop her Lyso for good. It would take some might hard work to convince me that the positive effect of the cortisol on the tumor would be worse than the negative effect of the cortisol on the rest of the body. Not that the cortisol would "cure" the tumor; it can't but it does have the potential to act as an anti-inflammatory, reducing the swelling. In my mind, that would be more crucial than controlling excess bodily functions like peeing, drinking, and eating. The longer that tumor could remain smaller and not be pressing so hard on the brain and those glands, the better in my mind - and the Lyso would only prevent that from happening by keeping the cortisol lower. So to me, stopping Scoop's Trilo and not restarting it is exactly what I would have wanted done for my for Squirt. ;)

Sweetheart, I meant it when I said you were doing good. You are tackling this head on, letting your grief take you where it will to find answers that may ease your Soul. You could just curl up and stop everything - but you aren't and I am glad for that. You just keep fighting for answers, for understanding, and along the way you will find peace and acceptance. But, and hear me clearly here, you did nothing to cause this - nothing, nada, zip. You could have spent every dime you ever thought about seeing, worn yourself to nothing, lost all you have - and that tumor, its effects, and / or the treatment for it would still have taken him. Unfortunately, you and Scoop were handed insurmountable obstacles but through it all you loved him with all your being and did all you could to help him have the best days possible. You can second guess yourself from now on, but that is the bottom line - you gave your all to Scoop out of love and that is the absolute best any of us can do.

Keep talking to us, honey. You are not alone now or ever.
Hugs,
Leslie and the gang

Vicki:
I know how broken your heart is, but you couldn't have known all this. You trusted in the Dr.'s that they knew what they were doing. Tipper has vestibular problems at times. She has had about 5 episodes in the last year. Also just had an infection in her ear. She just had one vestibular episode a few weeks ago. The things that happen to these babies are a lot for the normal person to be expected to have expertise in all of it. We get as much knowledge as we can, but again we are not infallible. I blame myself for not making Tipper's vet test her for Cushings when she started with these symptoms at least 2 years ago. I knew something was wrong and kept telling him. He turned a deaf ear to it. There is only so much we can do and make others do on behalf of babies. I am struggling right now with this tracheal issue with Tipper. I know what the end result will be if I don't get this take n care of, but no one seems to listen. I beat myself up on a daily basis. I am praying the shots on Monday will help start to help her. We all get smarter about things as we progress into this disease, and yes sometimes it comes too late. We are all still trying though, as you are still trying to understand what happened to Scoop. I think this disease really causes havoc inside these babies, and there is no way to know everything that is going on inside them. I worry why my Tipper is as round as a barrel, and does she have a tumor growing? The constant worry every day does take it's toll on you. I am like you I can't leave things alone. I keep analyzing things over and over. I think all this blame, let down, analyzing, and second guessing ourselves is something we are predisposed to from the deep connection and love we share with these babies. When they aren't here anymore we are to blame, when something goes wrong we are to blame, we blame ourselves for basically everything. I know the place you are coming from, and I truly feel for you. In time you will fault yourself less and less. It is only natural that this is so raw right now. I wish I could come there and help you thru this Vicki. I am here for you any time, I know what Scoop meant to you. Blessings
patti

Sharlene, Valerie, Leslie and Patti,
Thank you for all your kind words. I appreciate each one of you trying to help me understand things. There are things I want to say, just not right now. I am so exhausted. Sometimes my mind feels like mush.

Sometimes it is good to allow your brain to be mush. Vicki, I think Leslie said it all perfectly. This has all been such a shock for you and you will work through all the emotions of grief. We are all here for you.

Sending much love and hugs.

Yes Vicki,
My brain has been mush a lot lately. It is a great thing that I'm on break! I try not to worry about. Mushy brains are a stage if the grieving process, or should be.:D be gentle with yourself. Big hugs,

Vicki,

mush brain is your bodies way of forcing you to take a break.

Vicki:
You just do what you need to do, and if your brain is mush I think that is a defense mechanism to help you thru all this grief. I so wish I could do something to take all this hurt away from you. Blessings
Patti