Confused and Overwhelmed-Diagnosed Anal Sac Carcinoma (Woody has passed)

Tracy:
I was reading your post to me and wanted to tell you I do some of the T Touch with Tipper, but she will not allow you to touch her back legs or feet. I keep trying. I hope you are getting along alright, I think of you often and how your life has changed. It very much saddens me to know you are alone again. Just know I think of you often and wish only the best for you. Blessings
Patti

Hi Tracy, sending you lots and lots of love and hugs.

I think Trish is right, it is an emotional rollercoaster and one that none of us wants to be on. :(

I hope your walk brought you some peace, it sounds so beautiful. I wish Woody was there with you too.

Thinking of you both
hugs,
Sharlene and Molly Muffin

It is a rollercoaster ride, but I think someone should stop the rollercoaster as I want off now ;) I think its really hit me now that he,s not here so I guess I,m just starting to really grieve for him. I,m keeping busy and take each day as it comes :rolleyes:

Tracy,
It is all so new for you and it SUCKS! Okay, I said what everyone else is thinking. I lost my Buddy July 2nd. I am still grieving and it's damn hard!:p Everyone grieves differently. Whatever you can find to do that brings you even a small amount of peace, do it and don't care what anyone else thinks. Sometimes I think I'm doing well and I am, until I'm not, if that makes any sense. Grief comes in waves. At least it does for me. It is not to be analyzed or judged. It is just there, so I sob and hold on to Buddy's cuddle blanket and Froggy when I need to. We love our babies so much, that our hearts break when we lose them. Please know that what you are feeling is completely normal and those of us who have lost babies, totally understand. Our angels were here 24/7 to hold my hand when I crumbled into millions of little pieces. My brain shut down. I lost my purse and didn't know where I left it. I didn't eat for several days. All the while they were here to keep me talking, so I could start to process what made no sense. We are here for you too. Please keep talking, screaming, crying, slamming doors and throwing things. It's all allowed because we've been there and yes it does SUCK! ((((HUGS))))

Tracy:
Many hugs and much love to you friend. I think Kathy did a superb job describing all of it. I feel so bad that you are grieving so. I know how you loved Woody and how dear he was to your heart. It was very evident in all you wrote about him. I miss hearing about him too. I have still not gotten over the news of his passing. You are a strong women and I give you all the credit in the world for coming right back on here after Woody passed. God Bless You Both
Patti

Kathy you hit the nail on the head, and sometimes I feel like I,m doing well and then I,m not so I get what your saying. Whilst cleaning out a cupboard yesterday i found my digital camera, totally forgot all about it, so switched it on and on the memory card is over 400 pictures of Woody all starting from the day he came home all when he was healthy and enjoying life ive now downloaded the memory card and can,t stop crying since, its bringing back memories that I had forgotten about although all good memories I,m angry really angry that he,s not here, that horrible cancer got him, he should still be here life sucks sometimes :mad:

Yes Tracy, There will be many triggers that will start a tsunami of grief, over and over again. I was very angry too, but have finally been able to move beyond that. You will too when the time is right.;) The numbness will start to fade. With that comes the reality that they are gone and are not coming back. Anger is a huge response to that painful realization. Be very patient and kind to yourself. Know that Woody wants you to be able to move on and find happiness, sharing your immense amount of love with others. You will know if and when that time occurs. When you are ready, it will just organically all fall into place. Until then, it's day by day. Sometimes even minute by minute. You can do it Tracy, even though you don't feel it right now. I don't think we ever get over losing our precious babies, we just find a way to continue without them. You will too.... Xxxxxx

Tracy, My mother left us 2 years ago and I still have those moments. Woody was a part of your family. Over time, more and more of those moments will be replaced with happy memories. I promise!

Sometimes it also take time to get through the initial shock before you start really grieving. I tend to be the one who gets it all done in the family. We planned my mother's funeral the day that she passed which SUCKED and I had been begging both of my parents to do this before either got sick.

Long story short, I didn't grieve until all was said and finished. Then it was my turn.

Tracy:
I truly hope the New Year brings you some relief. I know how you have to be feeling. None of us should have to go thru this, but life can be unfair. I pray for you every nite in hopes that you can make your way thru all this heartache. I think of you often, and the beautiful place where you live. Blessings
Patti

Hi Tracy, I hope that 2014 will be a better year for you and you will as Patti said, find some peace, find a new job, keep yourself busy and some light will shine into your life. Hopefully in a most unexpected way that can bring joy with it. Who knows what it may be, but it's a new year and anything is possible. I'm going to hold onto that hope.

hugs,
Sharlene and molly muffin

Sharlene I,m going to hold on that thought as well :p I,m going to a party tonight don,t really want to but its better than sitting in alone feeling sorry for myself :D

That's right! You go gf! When in doubt, party on. Might feel a bit wonky tomorrow but today will be good.

:)
Sharlene and Molly Muffin

Hi Tracy

Hope the party is going well as you should be in the midst of it right about now. Roll on 2014, it has to be better than 2013. Seems like we haven't caught up for a few days for a chat, but I hope today is an up one for you and you have some fun with your friends/family.

We are all of to the horse racing today for a picnic, bit of a family tradition. It is stunningly sunny here so we will have to slip slop slap... I have already taken Flynn for his walk before it gets to hot. Will pop in tonight and see if you are about xxx

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

I,m home from the party, I decided to drive so didn,t have a drink. I managed longer than I thought I would and it was good to catch up with people.

I hope you have a good day at the races and you just like to rub it into me that your weather is great and mine is still raining :eek:

Hopefully catch up soon x

You are very strong and brave to venture out so soon. I am proud of you Tracy. You are tons stronger than I am.:p Happy New year my dear! Xxxxx

I am not surprised with how brave Tracy is, she's Scottish afterall.... remember the movie Braveheart! Glad you had a good NYE, sounds like it went well if you stayed longer than you intended... remind me never to go to the races in the hot sun again... I never won a cent and got sunburnt! My theory of picking the pretty horses with the nice names with the jockeys that wore the nicest colours DID NOT WORK!, I could have won all my money back on the last race but GwynetheAnne was beaten by a nose :mad::eek: :p I'm off to bed, catch up soon! x

Tracy:
I admire you strength, and you will to move forward. Blessings
Patti

Way to go Tracy! and now I can say Happy New Year since we're in the new year here now too. :)

hugs,
Sharlene and Molly Muffin

Trish sunburn is not nice ouch !! I would pick the same horses as you, the one with the pretty colours and nicest names, so I,m afraid we,d both be penniless if we went to the races :p

I have had dinner with the whole family again today it was mums turn to cook, I don,t think I,ve eaten so much over the last few weeks :)

It's not too bad, just a little pink on my face... I had sunscreen and a hat on too! Yes we would be penniless, I am certainly at no risk of becoming a gambler!

Glad you had a nice dinner! It is my turn here, the whole lot are coming over tonight and I have been flipping through my recipe books trying to come up with something inspirational. We have had BBQ a lot lately so don't think I will do that hmmmmmm thinking cap on!!

Can,t help you on that one, I can,t really cook but you do know now you will have to post later and tell us what you cooked.:) I,m a very basic cook and for the life of me can,t follow recipes I,ve tried so many times and they,ve all failed :p

Why not do an Italian style feast. Totally different from bbq.

A big pasta bowl with whatever kind of pasta you like in it. I like to do a simple spaghettitini with garlic, olive oil and romano cheese. Then some meats on a plate, tear apart italian bread or garlic bread would work too, and a selection of olives. Then a dessert, serve all of it with wine.

It's our easiest dinner ever for a crowd LOL

Sounds like a fun evening, whatever you do.

hugs,
Sharlene and molly muffin

Hmmmm Sharlene, you might be onto it there. Because my sister has turned vegan and also a vege niece I have been thinking I would have to cook two different things to cater for all of them. If I do that then they can add whatever they like to the pasta!!

What time is dinner Trish? I have been wanting to meet your family.:D

Hi Tracy,
So that's why you are so brave, you are Scottish! Makes sense:D Sending many more loving hugs your way. :p xxxx

Trish I,ll just have some plain pasta with some garlic bread please and oh a Bellini thank you very much :p

Yes Kathy I,m Scottish born and lived here all my life and I was brought up with the pick yourself up dust yourself off and get on with it attitude which works mostly but sometimes I just can,t do that :)

They are coming at 5pm and think I will serve dinner at 6 as Mum and Dad like it early :D You and Rosie are very welcome, I am sure she would keep Flynny entertained for the duration! x

Ohhhh that's a good idea Tracy, I am going to find a Bellini recipe and do that!!

AND have I told you I'm 1/4 Scottish, my Nana emigrated to NZ as a young girl... she was from Edinburgh area. I did a trip there with Mum when I was living in London and we went and had a look at the area where she came from!

Tracy,
I have lived in Southern California my entire life. We were raised to cry, whine, make excuses and blame everyone else. It hasn't worked well for me, because here, nobody gives a crap anyway. I like your way better! :D

Perfect!!! I found a recipe and it needs peach schnapps which Mum happens to have! I need to make a peach puree and peaches are in season here so I will mush some of them up and a drop of raspberry juice... I got fresh raspberries on my bush outside!! Man this is the drink for us tonight! :D:D

Oh your Nana lived in what our country bumkins called the Big City. Edinburgh is lovely, always busy, has really good bars and restaurants and of course it has "the Mile" Its where the posh people stay :cool:

Re the Bellini if you can get your hands on peaches then take the skin off and put them through the blender, drain the excess fluid and put a little into the bottom of a champers glass maybe 15 ml and fill the rest with prossecco or champers ta da one Bellini serve it chilled its better that way :D

oh yummy! I'm have bellini drools. LOL

One person on the net recommended to do a puree of the peaches and then you can store in freezer in baggies, take out whenever you want a drink, put it in the glass and pour the prossecco over it. I was thinking that would be handy to make one up any time.

My husbands grandfathers family is from Borgue, in the Dumfries and Galloway area of Scotland. My mother in law has been over and visited with some of the Scottish family and been to the family cemetery out in KirkAndrews. One thing we really want to do is travel around Scotland and just take it all in. (maybe not with the rains right now though hahahaha)

Trish, you'll have to fill us in on how dinner goes and the bellini's.

hugs,
Sharlene and Molly Muffin

Hi Tracy

Everyone has left so just popping in to check how things are going here!

I did do Sharlene's suggestions for dinner!! Plus Bellini's... very tasty!! Was a lovely evening! Flynn had a ball with everyone, especially when he all went into the school field behind our house, he didn't know where to run first with so many people on our walk :)

Aw I love to see them when there like that dashing about the place seeing who to go to next, sign of a happy dog:D

Glad dinner went well. I'm going to decorate the living room today just have to get my butt in gear I've been watching rubbish tv since I got up lol

What decorating are you going to do?? Crap TV is good, especially on rainy days! Funnily enough I have some docu on right now, a crime thing and the guy is called Woody! A coincidence? I think not :)

Oh another Woody I hope he's not the bad guy :D I'm going to paint the living room just freshen it up a bit it keeps me busy.

Sharlene Dumfries and Galloway is beautiful i just to have my mobile caravan on a site in Castle Douglas in Dumfries and I would finish work on a Friday and go down every weekend.

Yep he is the bad guy unfortunately!!

So your a DIY kinda girl! I am impressed, what colour are you going for?

I live alone got to be a DIY kinda girl I will try most things but not electrics. My other claim to fame is I can service my own car and can change tyres, fan belts and wheel bearings my dad was a mechanic and before my first car had to learn to do all that before he would give me the keys but secretly I loved it getting all dirty, greasy. My sister was all oh my nails and I was let me at it:D

I can't change the colour of the walls rented property so 2 walls cream and 2 walls a light beige

Redecorating is fun sometimes. I've been in the process of completely redoing my bedroom at dad's house. Must be the night for crap TV :-) Twilight Zone Marathon just ended!.

I live alone too, but I am hopeless at DIY... I break things.... :D Enjoy your painting, I will be sleeping :) my bed is calling me... Nite! x

Hi Tracy:
I enjoyed your bit about the car mechanics. My dad was like that he could fix anything from a toaster to a helicopter. He taught me many things that I use in my life today. It can save you a lot of time and money if you can do things yourself. Once when I was younger my dad built a boat, and I helped him. Now that I look back, I realize how talented he was. We are in blizzard conditions here today and a foot of snow on the way. Blessings
Patti