Mira, 7yr old Husky - Cushings ruled out; liver cancer (Mira has passed)

Hi Janis,

Did the vet give you any prognosis, any plan of treatment?

Please know that we are here with you, and for you, and Mira.

Hugs,
Leslie and the girls - always

A mass the size of a football... How long could she have? They are doing biopsy to see what kind it is. Maybe it will respond to chemo? I would do it. But likely it's too advanced.

I know when it started. It was right after she was bleeding from her butt. Bud was at the river and Mira had an emergency. The vet said she had impacted anal glanes. He said she wasn't drinking enough water and I should always add water to her food. Bulk her up, he said. So when her chest started to increase I thought that's what I was doing. I thought it's working. That was just after September 9, 2008. Even when Bud mentioned her expanding chest I said, it's ok we want that to happen. Bulk her up. It was fate.

I'm in the parking lot waiting until six pm. I'm not leaving without her. I'm going to spoil her. All the cookies she wants. Pretty pretty Mira.

Well, you can't see me but I am sitting right there with you, waiting, hoping, praying.

Mira is so lucky to have you, Janis.

Hugs,
Leslie and the girls - always

Janis, I'm so sorry to read this news! I'll also be anxiously awaiting more information.

Marianne

They found more in her chest. Something more. I'm waiting right here in the parking lot. They want to make sure her liver doesn't bleed before she can go home. Two more hours. Im hoping they will let me sit with her soon. Mira is in there crying. I heard her. My beautiful Mira. I managed to get a few pictures of her on hear in the picture place. I'd love it if you looked at them. They are very recent. Also the link above in on of my posts is a short video of her. I'm so glad I found you guys. Thank
You so much for being with me.

Janis, your pictures are beautiful! I wish we could be sitting right there beside you in the car. But we are with you in spirit. You are a wonderful mom to your Mira, and I have my fingers crossed that you'll soon be taking her home where you can hold her close.

Many, many hugs being sent to you this very moment...
Marianne

I love the pics, Janis! Mira and Kira both are gorgeous!

Still sitting with you, holding your hands til those hands can hold Mira again.

Hugs,
Leslie and the girls - always

I'm so sorry to hear what you and Mira are going through, Janis. She is a beautiful girl. I also hope you will be able to be with her and hold her soon. You are both in my thoughts and prayers.

Hugs,

Terri

I too enjoyed the photos - beautiful dogs. I am standing watch as well and send much love and strength to you, your family and dear Mira. Hugs, Kim

I watched your video - she is beautiful. We are here with you honey,

Love and many hugs,

And here we go, the next terrifing round has begun! Shes panting now constant for the thirty minutes. 168 breaths per minute. Is she in distress? It's getting louder. I'm starting to sound just like her.

Hi Janis,

I assume you are home with her now? Did the vet tell you anything to watch for, anything to call or bring her back for? Any meds to help?

It does sound as if she is in distress, whether from the stress of the day or the liver, I cannot say. It could also be pain I would think.

Hold her and love her all you can. Someone is on the site at all times so talk if you need to.

Hugs,
Leslie and the girls - always

Janis,

Normal breaths per minute is usually not more than 20. At 168 per minute, I'd be worried too. It's been about an hour and a half since you posted. How is she doing now? If not better, I would suggest that you try to reach your vet or call an er and explain what is happening.

God she seemed fine at the clinic. We went for a walk and everything. I just feed her a half a pound of cooked hamberger. I asked if i could feed her anything now with in reason. Anything she might like. She said ok. I figured as much. What does it matter now? I hope so much that i get to take her on a few walks agian. She loves it so. Cancer has taken over her liver and half of one lung. Now it's 20 breaths per minute. She said the reason I could see her heart pounding was because the tumor is pressing her heart against her ribs. I swear it just starting doing that a few days ago. Did it grow that fast? The cough is also from the tumor in her chest. I can't believe this!! I had no idea. Just too weeks ago I thought all was fine. Now?

They said they might be able tell me the type tomorrow. And I supose how much time she has left. A month? A week?

Yes I have pain meds that we can use pretty freely. How do I know if she's in pain? This is going to kill me. She wants me to go back to the original vet. I dnt want to go back there ever!!!

The original vet called and said... good news it's not Cushing's! Well $@, +#€?=*%, Sh@t! Or however that goes. Sorry mom.

I think she is asleep now. From here I can see where they shaved her tummy and the spot where poked it. God just under that pink belly lies the most dreadful thing ever. It's eating up my baby girl!

She just woke up and rolled over on her back. One paw moved oddly. Breaths slow down and speed up. Nothing like it was. I think my breathing is far worse right now. The worst day in my life. I was happier at the clinic. Me Mira on the floor in a room by ourselfs. Vets right there. I could relax and tease her and tell her I love her. This maybe the longest night of my life. This is just the begining of the nightmare. One i thought god would never put me thru. Only one other thing could have been worse. If she were hit by a car or just suddenly die. And not get to say goodbye. You know I have a gate alarm. If the gate is open the alarm goes off in the house. A hour ago it was 10:40 now it's 10:45. I want go to her and pet her. But she is sleeping she needs to sleep. I am terrified. Will I put her to sleep too soon? Will I wait too long? This one is number 4. Does ... Oh hell I can't say it. She's just a little girl. Only seven. She got robbed. She.

Would you do chemo?

Janis,

I personally would consider chemo if it would extend my dog's life. Unlike people, dogs don't get sick from chemo. My brother's dog has had two sessions and he never appeared to be sick. Was the vet that diagnosed the liver cancer an internal medicine specialist?

$1,600 for today. They did a lot. Do you believe they shaved her and did the u/s with her wide awake. My little screamer made not a sound

Was this a specialty clinic? Did the vet who diagnosed the liver cancer suggest that you speak to an oncologist?

Shenandoah Diehl DVM DACVECO

She was wonderful. Yes I believe she mentioned a specialist. I recorded our first conversation after the ultrasound. After that it all seemed useless. I'm not sure there is much hope. Im not sure it can help. I cant believe it's so bad. I can't believe she lived with it this long. I can't believe I didn't get a blood test on her before now.

You know the treat trick? When you fear a dog is ill you offer a treat. If he dashes for it and eats it with gusto then you know all is well.

I just tried that on Mira. She did well.

You know all of Mira's other organs are in good shape. Her liver looks like liver and tumor ground up together. She said there is enough good spots to keep it working

Sounds like you went to the Advanced Critical Care Center in Tustin. That is one stop shopping in that big complex. I was there two weeks ago with a rescue who had orthopedic surgery done at the surgical center there and my brother's dog is treating at the cancer center. You would not have had far to go to talk to an oncologist.

I'm glad that Mira is still taking treats. The question is are you? :D

I gave her a pain pill. She went down to her possuim hunting area a few minutes ago and stood looking around. If I wasn't so muddle headed I might share something of interest.

Why is it I don't see your posts until later? Why do take this so hard? Why is she whimpering? I'm right here with her. I don't know why she cries. What does she want? I'm just no good at this? I don't know what she wants? She woke me up with a squeaky quiet cry? What does she want? I pet her gently she cries. And I cry. I went outside with her. Still she whimpers. I give her some can food. She likes that. But still ,,,, she cried louder. I gave her another pill way to earily. I'm in tears I don't know what she wants. Her high pitch squeak. Gentle squeak. Soft pant. What does she want? Maybe she wants to just feel better. Maybe she wants me stop coming apart. It doesn't seem like pain what is it? Love? Resting now maybe the pill is working. It seems like that sad whine they get from being put out. Its killing me.

Yes we were there (damn I cant see your last post lulu I can't remember your name or exactly what you said) advanced critical care in Tustin California. You are so close. We live in Orange. We had Kiras knees fixed at VSS there in May. Kodi died there in ... She's whimper again, soft whimpering it kills me. Will she get better? Does she just hurt from the biopsy? Big hole in belly. She is very sensitive. Whimpering stopped again. It does not seem like pain. But Christ I didn't know she had cancer. Squeaking softly. What does she want? My other dog is squeaking too and panting. I feel helpless. My husband is mad at me. I'm crying too much. I'd give her anything she wants but I don't know what see wants. The end always comes like this. Is this the end? She has gas. Squeaking turned away from me. I write all this so you know what is happening. Squeaking breathing a little harder panting now. I'm going to pet her now. But I think she feel back a little. She's been doing that. Flopping down instead of lying down slowly. Is she lossing stregth. You all must think I'm crazy but she is my child. And she can't talk to me. Sorry I'm not going to edit this one. I write horrible I know.

Don't pet her I think she might be sleeping. Sit still don't wake her. God this is so unfair.

I wish I could take the pain away from both you and your furry beauty. I would be the same way. You are wise to let her rest up. Continue to be there for her and love her. It is the best medicine there is. You will be in my thoughts and prayers all day.

Sending hugs, strength and love, Kim

My thoughts and prayers for the best possible outcome are with you and Mira.

Sending cyber (((Hugs)))

Oh Janis, I too, wish there was more I could do for you and sweet Mira. We are here for you, we do not think you are crazy, we fully understand the love and devotion you feel for Mira.

You and Mira are in my thoughts and prayer as well.

Love and (((hugs)))
Lori

Oh Janis, I am so sorry for what you and Mira are going through. But we are here for you to lean on so that you can be there for Mira. You can say whatever you want to us. Do not worry at all about how it sounds. And that way you'll be free to tell Mira how much you love her and what a good girl she is.

With continuing prayers and hugs,
Marianne

Hey Janis,

First, some techie stuff (and that's a JOKE from me! ;) ) When you hit reply and this box comes up to write in, it looks as if that is all that is on the page. But if you will scroll down you will be able to see the most recent replies on your thread. If you need to see more of your thread, then at the very bottom you will see this:

"This thread has more than 10 replies. Click here to review the whole thread."

Go to the bottom to this statement and click on the word "here" and your whole thread will be available. At the top of your thread to the right you will find how many pages are in your thread, too.

Ok, now, how to recognize when Mira is in pain. Dogs are so stoic, not showing any signs of discomfort until the pain reaches a level that would probably put me in the hospital! Unfortunately, cancer is an incredibly painful disease, especially in the final stages. Here are some signs of canine pain:

Quote:

---

http://www.petplace.com/dogs/pain-in-dogs/page2.aspx

• Manifestations of pain are highly variable in animals. Some signs are obviously related to pain, while others are more subtle. The individual personality
of the animal and its tolerance for pain also affect the clinical manifestations of pain. Animals in pain often present with a wide variety of signs. Some signs that are associated with pain include the following:
• Altered behavior – quieter than normal, avoidance of other animals or people, hiding, aggressive behavior, fear biting, mental dullness and depression, agitation, restlessness, pacing
• Altered movement or gait – lameness, reluctance to move, reluctance to get up, wobbliness, abnormal carriage or use of one or more legs, stiffness
• Vocalization – growling, howling, yipping, moaning, groaning
• Decreased or lack of appetite (anorexia)
• Increased respiratory rate
• Increased heart rate
• Shock, collapse

---

Some links to canine cancer forums (but that doesn't mean you can leave us ;) )

http://www.dogcancercare.com/

http://www.cancercompass.com/message...,0,119,145.htm

This link seems to have some good info in several areas concerning canine cancer, including vets, financial aid plus a forum for discussion.

http://www.fightcaninecancer.com/cancerresources.html

Ok...now for the hard part...you. I can only imagine how you are feeling; I know how I would be feeling in your shoes and it would be the road to insanity for me. And I would hope someone out there would at least try to reach through my grief so I could be there for my baby. That is what I am going to try to do for you.

Somehow, someway, you have got to get a grip for Mira's sake. Whether she has one day or one year left with you, you have to be the strong one for her. That breathing I told you about earlier...it's even more important now. Our babies pick up on our moods so easily and when Mira senses your distress, that increases hers. She needs to feel safe especially now; she needs to know that, no matter what, her mom is going to be her rock; she needs to know that when she needs you, you are there 100%. You have to put your fear, your pain, your grief in a closet and lock the door for now. Will you be able to do this? Of course not. But the point is that you must try, and try very hard for Mira's sake.

When it is simply too much, then go somewhere by yourself and let it all out - scream, cry, cuss, whatever it takes to ease the pressure a bit so you can carry on, so you can fight with her and for her. And do something good for yourself every now and then. She needs you now more than she ever has. We can help with this for sure - vent to us, cry with us, write long incoherent posts...we don't care, honey, and we do understand so you are safe with us. Let us see your pain, but let Mira see your strength.

Honey, we are with you every second of every day, lending your our strength and hope, holding your hand, and lifting you up.

Sending prayers, healing white light, hugs and belly rubs,
Leslie and the girls - always

She has been quiet for maybe a half hour. I thought she might be sleeping but she just flopped over on her back. I like to see her belly up it looks so relaxed. Her bare belly looks so pink it's amost red. I guess that's good. Her promonate chest is bouncing from her heart beating.

Maybe I'll get exhausted soon and be able to sleep. Mira, my bed buddy, normally sleeps well when I do. But at the moment if I stop the crying will sent in again. I have looking up facts on Tramadol.

I guess the vet might call soon. I have a list of questions. She is the sweetest woman. I had a new list yesterday I was having trouble reading it. My contacts had all fogged up from crying. She leaned over and helped me read my list. When she told me the news she strated with a couple good things then brushed over the liver thing for a moment. I'm terrified did she say what I think she did? She moves on to something else. Then goes back to the liver yup what she's saying now is the samething. She stands up and faces me and holds her hands in a football shape and says one of them is this big. I'm not saying anything. I fighting tears. She sits beside me again and says I've never seen anything that looks like this and not be cancer. Three masses in the liver and one is the size of a football. She looks in my eyes and can see I understand. She asks if I'm ok and I just shake my head no and start to cry. She sends in someone who explains what further test can be done. I'm only hearing bits and pieces. Finally I just said do all the ones that look for more cancer and her leg i want her to walk. And the biopsy. Hours later my husband is there no too sitting in the parking lot with me. My phone rings. I don't recognize the number I don't answer but I did look the number up. Damn it it was them! I frantically play back the message DANMED IPHONE! message playback you can hardly heard it. I think she said she found another mass. I'm out of the car and waiting to find out. She is busy busy I (we) had to wait a long time. She takes us back and showed us the xray. I started to feel sick. A snowy patch about the size of my hand on the chest wall behind her heart. Behind us in a cage I can hear Mira crying. I cringe at every sound. I said Mira. The vet says I don't think that's Mira. I said yes it is. So she calls over to someone and asks if that was Mira. Someone confirmed it was. I think they gave her more meds then. So now we will include a Biopsy of this one too. By the time we got back to the car I thought I would throwup. After Bud left I sat there until 4 then I went in the office. I snuck into the back around the corner and sat in a chair. A dozen people going in and out of where Mira is. Mira is not crying I'm not in the way, I stay there. Had she been crying you couldnt have stopped me from going to her. I get noticed a lot. Busy busy workers. One peron asked if I had been helped. I was o viosly crying. I just pointed to the room she was in and said Mira not crying. As if I was ok with that. They let me stay there. About a half hour later they asked if I'd like to sit in a room with Mira for awhile. I was so greatfull. She put me in a spot clean examining room it all looks new there. She puts a thick blanket on the floor. And about five minutes later here comes Mira. Looking right as rain considering. I sat on the floor with her. I felt relaxed then. There were maybe twenty people there to save us. I dont think i cryed at all then. About an hour later as promised they began to discharge Mira. The doctor found me walking Mira outside. We went in and that's when she helped with my questions. Then she took my paper and typed it all up with her answers in case I forgot or didn't understand. About ten questions I had typed up at lightening speed. I already mentioned the cost and you know it seemed like nothing at all They erned every penny of it. Oddly I didn't want to lea... the phone is ringing god! Panic! Is it her? I'm not ready to talk to her. Whoever hungup thank god. I need to get ready. How long does Mira have? How will I ever get those words out? I'm terrified. Another blow is coming today. Maybe I'll start to feel tired and sleep though the call. And wait til tomorrow. Not likely. I'll jump out of my skin if the phone rings. The ring like an electric shock will wake me up. Today's vertict as fightening as yesterdays.

You may have guessed Mira has been quiet all thru that last post.

She said she could find no reason for miras limping. I don't see that as a good thing. Brain waves can get messed up. Miras awake now she growled at bud petting her.

I'm keeping you, Mira, and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

Mira growling at Bud could be a sign of pain. Is Tramadol all they gave you for pain? When you hear from the vet today and find out what type she has, ask her about a stronger pain med for Mira. Surely there is something better than Tramadol for this level of pain.

Let us know what the vet has to say today and hang in there!

Hugs,
Leslie and the girls - always

When you have time please do read the information you have on tramadol. I have used it and had to reduce the dosage (mine was just for joint pain in a 16 yr old dog) but I wanted to point out a couple of things - my dog got diarrhea pretty bad and she also acted 'loopy' staring at a wall and not moving. It scared me and I ended up cutting the dosage in half. Your situation is different obviously - I just wanted to give you a heads up so if you see these types of signs you are aware that it could be from tramadol.

Continued prayers and warm thoughts, strength sent your way. My heart just breaks reading what you are going through and not being able to do anything to help. Keep the faith, stay strong and give Mira lots of hugs from all of us here. Kim

You are rightl Lestlie. And I am sure to fail. I have in most things with my dogs.

Oh, no....you aren't failing at all, honey. You are doing your very best and that is all any of us can do, ever!

Quote:

---

...Will you be able to do this? Of course not.

---

This statement didn't mean that you would fail; it meant that what I am asking you to do is impossible under these circumstances and that I am aware of that fact even as I tell you those things. Which is why the sentence ended as it did, telling you that trying was the point. I'm sorry I wasn't clearer about that. :o

In order to fail Mira, you would have to ignore her or worse...and that is not at all what you are doing. You are seeking help for her from doctors, you are following their directions, you have reached out to the WORLD online trying to find help...that is not failure, that is love in action. I can see in your pictures that Mira and Kira have been well loved and well cared for by you so there is no reason to think things would change now. Ok?

You are certainly entitled to fall apart. I would come completely unraveled, there is no doubt. Especially at first learning of such a diagnosis. The burden you are being asked to carry is astronomical. But, I believe we are never asked to carry more than we can bear. So, this tells me that you are a very strong woman and you have reserves in your soul that you may not even be aware are there. Sometimes we have to dig very deep but what we need is always there, or we wouldn't have the need. You will get through this and you will do so with the same love, devotion, and care you have always shown Mira. I know this. So when you doubt yourself, remember that I have faith in you.

Hugs,
Leslie and the girls - always

Kim - you are right the doctor has advised me to decrease the tramidol and reminded me that Mira was not crying when she came in. I guess that means Mira was not showing pain from the cancer yesterday. They are trying to figure it all out quickly within their complex. Something about a round cancer. Not the best or the worst outlook. Chemo might work. She will call with more tonight soon maybe. I'm not ready to study cancer yet.

Mira is peaceful at the moment. Awaiting the rice and cottage cheese dinner her daddy has gone off to the store to get.

Leslie - your input has helped though, I have been able to compose myself some and be cheerful to Mira some. Course when scary things happen I lose it real easy. But thank you for reminding me that being strong if you can is a good thing. At lease raise the pitch of you voice. They love baby talk don't they. They are so precious.

Mira has what bud calls a bullet hole in her belly where they did the liver biopsy. Maybe stuck something in her about five inches. Right into her liver. Tramadol makes huskys cry I would think a bullet hole would too. God only knows what chemo might do. Huskies rarely ever bark but they do whine real easy. So I need to consider all this and try not to panic. It she keeps crying after three days I will look into other pain killers. I mean I won't let her suffer. If the cancer hurts that much and the doctor siad it would, we'll not fail her on that. I don't think Mira has slept much. Her potty problem upsets her.

Mira has a life expetensy of 6 months with chemo. Maybe a year.

The doctor called twice tonight. Their pilimninary finds show this is a round (?) cancer. It's not the best or the worse type cancer it's in the middle. Chemo is possible. She said she would do it.

We will do it. We are waiting for results from the main lab before we can start.

I'm trying to feel happy about this. It's sure better then no chance at all. But.... Well you can imagine what I'm thinking and feeling.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by lulusmom

Janis,

I personally would consider chemo if it would extend my dog's life. Unlike people, dogs don't get sick from chemo. My brother's dog has had two sessions and he never appeared to be sick.

---

Janis, I would opt for the chemo, too. I've heard exactly the same thing that Glynda has written. And we've had several members now who have received significant extensions of time with their pups after selecting chemo treatment.

So hang in there, girl!! We're all standing strong behind you and Mira.

Marianne