Squirt - my Queen has crossed The Bridge

Thanks, ya'll. I did go take care of the cremation service this morning so that is done. Now to find an urn worthy of her. She's not leaving tomorrow unless she chooses to do so. She may be here for a bit yet but I have to get ready. As much as it is tearing me apart, she deserves at least this.

Squirt did eat an egg this morning and part of her lunch. I got to remembering when I first started cooking for her as I was making next week's batch up today. I thought it would be best to put everything in a blender - but she wouldn't touch it. She would eat the individual things just fine but not when blended together. So I went and got an old fashioned potato masher and tried mashing her ingredients that way - it was a hit! Tonite I reversed that process and put her food in a blender making it more of a canned food consistency. She licked the bowl clean for the first time since she hurt her leg. Whether she will react the same tomorrow with it blended, who knows but she has had a good supper tonite.

Thanks again.
Hugs from us both.

Go Squirt, glad you got a good dinner in her. Hope the cart turns up tomorrow so she can get about again.

Thinking of you both Leslie, sending lots of love and positive energy

Bug hug and kisses for Queen Squirt

Mel
Xxxxxx

Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Squirty Glad you ate girl, keep on going and turn this thing around like you have so many times before. God Bless Your Little Heart and Kisses from Tipper and she does not give out kisses often!!

:) Squirty still has an appetite... Yay.!!!!

We have days where I have to end up grilling food for Rozee. She will very rarely turn down grilled chicken or hamburger. I end up mashing her food with a fork so she can consume it easier. At her age, she can have whatever pleases her ;) and sometimes that may take a few meal offerings .... but they are so worth it.

Well, maybe it's not her time afterall. So glad that she's eating finally!!!!

Way to go Squirt! Pleased she ate like a champ today Leslie, it must do your heart good to see that. You might already know this trick but once when Flynn was totally off his food and I was getting desperate our vet suggested an old remedy, half a cup of milk with a raw egg beaten into it so pretty simple :) and he slurped that up like it was the best food ever! I hope it might help if she gets more picky with the food. I hope tomorrow brings good news as well xxxxx

Leslie, ((((hugs)))). I am so sad to read the latest about Squirt and that you are going through this. Glad you were able to get her to eat and hope that continues. I am praying that she rallies and things turn around for her. Sending lots of love and support.

Big hugs,
Tina and Jasper

My Queen has spoken. She had rather not be released but wants to go on her own if at all possible. She knows her body is failing and there is nothing we can do about it. She wants me to stop all her meds except the Novifit so her food tastes and smells good again. She is very tired of all the medicine and vet business and simply wants to enjoy these last few days or weeks. Squirt told me what to look for that would mean she needs immediate help to go but otherwise she'd rather go on her own terms. My Queen has spoken and I will comply.

Squirt has always seen herself as my protector. One reason she has fought so hard to stay is that she is worried about me, that I won't take care of myself, that I will try to fill her void by taking in more and more babies - making things harder on me. She needs to know that I will be alright and will take better care of myself when she is gone....because she knows I don't now. She feels as long as she is still here my attention is tightly focused on her so I won't lose control. By fighting so hard to stay even when her body is so very frail she is still protecting me....from myself.

She wants to spend quality time with me and her sisters and brother for as long as she has left. Her crate time is ended. She has full run of the house tho I am very cautious with her on the linoleum. I tried putting her back in the bed last nite and she lay beside me for a while but then became restless so I had to put her back on the floor where she could roam a bit. She slept on the rug by the bed almost all night long, getting up only a few times to change position. I have oral surgery this afternoon but before that happens I'm going to make a bed on the floor so we can be together. I HATE the timing of this surgery but it has to be done...and it is part of taking care of myself. If I didn't understand how critical this procedure is, I would cancel. But I will lay on the floor with her to recover over the next few days...and for as long as she remains.

As you may have noticed, my participation on the forum has suffered. What input I have had has not been worth the cyber space it took up. I hope you understand why...and believe you all understand only too well. I will be signing out this morning and won't be back for a while more than likely....until it's time to tell you she has gone to be with her Sissy and my dad, who she is looking forward to seeing. She wants my full attention and she will get it.

I ask that you pray she leaves with ease and peace, in comfort and love. We love you all, new and old. There is no way we could have survived the last 6+ years without you. The strength, the love, the hope, the faith, the courage you all show on a daily basis has held me up during the worst of times. You will never know how very special you are to me, there just are no words to express what you mean. Your babies and you each have a special place in my heart, you have helped make me a better person, and I love you all dearly. Our family here will always be in my prayers, in my heart.

Hugs,
Leslie and the Queen of Dogdom

I leave you with two of my favorites -

From The Darkest Evening of the Year
By Dean Koontz

“Because God is never cruel, there is a reason for all things. We must know the pain of loss; because if we never knew it, we would have no compassion for others, and we would become monsters of self-regard, creatures of unalloyed self-interest. The terrible pain of loss teaches humility to our prideful kind, has the power to soften uncaring hearts, to make a better person of a good one.”

“Dog’s lives are short, too short, but you know that going in. You know the pain is coming, you’re going to lose a dog, and there’s going to be great anguish, so you live fully in the moment with (them), never fail to share (their) joy or delight in (their) innocence, because you can’t support the illusion that a dog can be your lifelong companion. There’s such beauty in the hard honesty of that, in accepting and giving love while always aware it comes with an unbearable price. Maybe loving dogs is a way we do penance for all the other illusions we allow ourselves and for the mistakes we make because of those illusions.”


************************************************** ****************

May you know that absence is full

Of tender presence and that

Nothing is ever lost or forgotten.

May the absences in your life be full of eternal echo.

May you sense around you the secret

Elsewhere which holds the presences

That have left your life.

May you be generous in your embrace of loss.

May the sore of your grief turn into a well

Of seamless presence.

May your compassion reach out to the ones

We never hear from and may you have

The courage to speak out for the excluded ones.

May you become the gracious

And passionate subject of your own life.

May you not disrespect your mystery

Through brittle words or false belonging.

May you be embraced by God in whom

Dawn and twilight are one and may

Your longing inhabit its deepest dreams

Within the shelter of the Great Belonging.

From John O’Donohue’s Eternal Echoes-Exploring our Hunger to Belong

My thoughts and prayers are with both of of you my very dear friend. I hope Squirt enjoys her remaining time. Spoil her rotten, as if you don't already do that.

I feel the same way about our cush family as you do. We're all here for you. Give all your babies hugs and belly rubs from.

I love you very dearly. (((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))

Leslie:
All I can say is God Bless You and your special girl Squirt. Just know I am grieving right along with you.
Patti