Jasper (12 yr old Mini Schnauzer) is now at peace

My baby boy has been gone a whole year today. I don't even know how to describe how much I miss him. Somehow I thought the heartbreak wouldn't feel quite so razor sharp after this amount of time, but I can't honestly say that. I know his beautiful spirit must be all around me, but I keep waiting for some sort of sign so I can be sure. I still struggle immensely every day with his loss, and expected to be more adjusted by now.

I made it through the first Thanksgiving without him. It was horrible, remembering how incredibly sick he was at this time last year. Holidays sure aren't enjoyable now.

I miss you all so much. So many times I have come back here to post, but just haven't been able to yet. Maybe one day.

Ever on my beautiful precious angel. Mama loves and misses you to the stars and beyond. xxoo

The holidays are so hard without them. This was our second Thanksgiving without Lena, and it was just as hard as the first. Like you, I miss her all the time. She just loved the holidays! From Halloween through New Year's. She was a part of everything, so everything is a reminder.

Jasper is around you even if you don't feel it or see signs. When they are so much a part of us, they are never really gone....that's what I believe.

Hugs to you...

Oh Tina, sending so many hugs to you across the miles! Although it must have been so hard for you to post your note today, I’m so grateful you did so. We are always here for you, always. We will never forget Jasper, and we welcome the chance to send you our love and support on this milestone day. Holidays can be so hard, and anniversaries especially so. When they’re paired together, I think the knife cuts even deeper. But onward we go, one more baby step at a time. It’s times like this that I especially treasure the blessing that our dear Leslie, “Squirtsmom,” uses as her signature line:

Quote:

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”May you know that absence is full of tender presence and that nothing is ever lost or forgotten." Anne, a Corgi mom.

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I know that so many things changed for you so profoundly one year ago today. But love never dies. The love you share with Jasper remains true and strong. And we love you, Tina! Welcome back, today and any day that you wish to return to us.

Hugs, hugs, and more hugs.
Marianne

Dear Tina,

Your words join the" Eternal Echos" of my own losses, those wounds that will never heal. Over the years I have found comfort in the works of John O'Donahue, who is actually the author of my signature line Marianne posted. Two poems in particular bring me peace. The first is the Blessing for Absence, where that line came from:

May you know that absence is full of tender presence

and that nothing is ever lost or forgotten.

May the absences in your life be full of eternal echo

May you sense around you the secret Elsewhere which holds

the presences that have left your life.

May you be generous in your embrace of loss.

May the sore of your grief turn into a well of seamless presence.

May your compassion reach out to the ones we never hear

from and may you have the courage to speak out for the

excluded ones.

May you become the gracious and passionate subject of your own life.

May you not disrespect your mystery through brittle words or false belonging.

May you be embraced by God in whom dawn and twilight

are one and may your longing inhabit its deepest dreams

within the shelter of the Great Belonging. (Eternal Echoes 275)

The next is titled Beannacht and is the poem I turn to most when grief overwhelms me as it often does:

On the day when
The weight deadens
On your shoulders
And you stumble,
May the clay dance
To balance you.

And when your eyes
Freeze behind
The grey window
And the ghost of loss
Gets into you,
May a flock of colours,
Indigo, red, green
And azure blue,
Come to awaken in you
A meadow of delight.

When the canvas frays
In the currach of thought
And a stain of ocean
Blackens beneath you,
May there come across the waters
A path of yellow moonlight
To bring you safely home.

May the nourishment of the earth be yours,
May the clarity of light be yours,
May the fluency of the ocean be yours,
May the protection of the ancestors be yours.

And so may a slow
Wind work these words
Of love around you,
An invisible cloak
To mind your life.
(To Bless the Space Between Us: A Book of Blessings)

While we cannot take your anguish from you, we are here to share it with you when ever you feel alright to be here....and I know how difficult that can be. Know you do not have to face this alone, that we are here always, and always hold you and your precious baby boy in our embrace.

"May the nourishment of the earth be yours",
Leslie

Leslie, thank you so much for your beautiful thoughts and these poems. You have given a great gift to us all. I’ll return and read them over and over once the tears have cleared from my own eyes...

Sending you warm thoughts and comfort.

Angie

Yes Tina, we miss them sooo much! Thinking of you, Shelby and our sweet angel, Jasper Boy.

Hi Tina! Just want to say hello and send you a big hug. I don't know how time passes so quickly it feels like sometimes and at the same time feeling like an eternity. :(

We miss you and we miss Jasper.

hugs gf

Hello Dear Friends,

I have been meaning to check in for quite a while, it is still so awfully hard. Thank you all for your ongoing support and kind words. Leslie, thank you SO much for the beautiful poems. I have been back often to read them, sometimes daily. Although I cry every time, the words do seem to bring some sort of peace.

I miss my boy so so much, I don't know if it will ever be better. I don't burst into tears in public or at work for the most part, so I guess that is better. I've been going to a pet loss support group from time to time. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't. Every day I try to find something to appreciate or look forward to. Kind of like Addy's one good thing. It's all still one day at a time, just like when he was sick.

Today is 10 years that Dakota has been gone. It's so hard to believe, and at the same time it feels like forever. I hope she is looking after her brother and keeping him close. I miss them both so much.

Mama loves and misses you baby boy. I know you hear me talking to you every day. You are never out of my thoughts and are always in my heart. Ever on my precious angel. xxoo

Love and hugs to you all,

Tina xo

I have no doubt Jasper and Dakota are together, running free in the Rainbow Fields, elated to be united...and always watching over their beloved mom. They hear every word you say, see every tear that falls, and each in their own way send what signs they can to let you know they are still by your side and will be til that day when you are all reunited.

Hugs,
Leslie