Jasper (12 yr old Mini Schnauzer) is now at peace

Back again, and again, and again. I'm here Tina. Always.
Thinking of you all.

I'm not giving up Tina. I know you will be back when ready. Thinking of you all. xxxxoooo

Hi everyone,

I have been intending to post when I had some good news to share, I feel like things have been so dismal for so long. It's been pretty tough to be positive about anything and I feel like I am always whining. I do want to share that I got a job finally. I started a little over a month ago, it's a huge relief of course. Like clockwork Jasper had a really bad setback my first week. :( He got unstable with his Addison's and was very sick. Somehow I managed to not miss any work. I think I am going to like the job, but I am finding there is an enormous amount to learn, and honestly, it has been very difficult. And it seems like they feel I should be on my own completely already. It has been very stressful and that is an understatement. And Jasper has been up and down for the past month. I have been exhausted trying to manage everything. I knew I should have posted about a week or so ago when he was feeling better.

He has really been not good the past couple of days, but he has good days and bad days so I was only a little worried. I noticed this morning that he seemed really low energy and kind of a little out of it. I had to work today, it is not a holiday at my new company. When I got home, things were clearly not good. He didn't greet me at the door like usual, but this has happened a couple of random times before. But it seems like something has changed with him since last night or even this morning. He just seems different. Not really happy to see me.

The lump on his head has continued to very gradually get larger and today for the first time I think he is in pain. :( :mad: I think when I posted last we were going to try to drain the fluid from it periodically. Well, when I took him in that last time, my vet was not able to get any fluid out, it was too thick. So she said that trying to drain it was no longer an option. We were at the end of the road for anything more. That was the middle of September, and I remember I felt very panicky after that appt. But I have slowly adjusted to the fact that nothing more could be done with that evil mass on his head. I feel like it is some sort of insidious alien monster that is invading his precious little body and trying to steal him from me. And now it is has gotten large enough that it is painful. I'm sure it must be causing a lot of pressure. But it truly has not seemed to bother him until now.

I have been bawling almost constantly since I got home from work. My vet is working tomorrow, and we have an appt at 11:30. I am fearing the worst of course. I really don't even know how I am able to type this right now but wanted to get something posted. And this time I am not able to hide my crying from him, thank God he is sleeping soundly right now. I am a total wreck. I feel so alone. :(

I have been reading the Holidays can be hard thread from time to time, and have been crying my eyes out with everyone. Yesterday I silently pulled up a chair with you all since I was here alone, but I just couldn't bring myself to post. And now things are worse today.

Thank you all for your posts of support during the time I haven't been on the forum much. Please keep us in your prayers. We need them more than ever now. I am so scared.

Oh god Tina. I am sorry things are. It good with Jasper and I am hoping for the best when you go to the vet tomorrow. Know that worry oh so well. It doesn't go away it just pulls up a chair and sits with you no matter what you are doing. I wish you weren't alone going through all this. That makes it harder. You are not alone in spirit though as we ar all right here with you. Worrying for jasper. Worrying for you.

I'm glad you found a job. That is a plus. New jobs can be difficult to adjust to and I hope you find your way soon so that it will be easier. I wish you is had more help during this new phase.

I don't like that thing on Jasper's head either. Bugger it all.

No matter what tomorrow or the next day brings sometimes it just helps to be able to talk with others who understand. That is where we come in. We are here and you can always find us when you need us and sweetie it isn't bad to need that connection with another human who gets it. Vent, yell, cry we will do the same right along with you.

I bawled and screamed, swore everything that last week with Molly. I made deals with the devil I think just for more time. so please let us be here for you as you have been for many of us ver the vet years.
Right now I am crying right along with you.
Love ya Tina. Hugs to you and a belly rub to jasper

Oh sweet girl, My tears flow along with yours. :o I am so sorry that you are having to do this alone. I know that feeling, oh so well. Know that we are here and you don't have to ever be alone, if you don't want to be. I have been trying to keep tabs on you, posting regularly to remind you that I care so much about you, Jasper and Shelby.

I am so glad that you found a job, but I know how gut wrenching and worrisome it is to have to leave a sick baby at home to go to work.:o

Do not worry about whining and crying to us. We want to hear from you. We will be here for as long as you want or need us to be. Forever family. We love him too!

I'll be back to check on you first thing in the morning. The east coast morning shift will probably beat me to it. Breathe deep. You will get through this awful night. Jasper loves you so much and appreciates everything you have done for him. Always know that! xxxooo

Kathy

Morning shift is right here!! Tina, my heart is right there alongside you, as well. I want to second everything that Sharlene and Kathy have written. I hope you know you are never truly alone because your family here is always alongside you in heart and spirit. No matter what happens today, we are right there by your side.

Sending enormous hugs to both you and sweetie Jasper ~

Tina, I am so sorry to hear of Jasper not feeling well. That lump mystifies me and I am really sorry to hear it is now causing him pain.

I'm hoping the Addisons issue works itself out and he improves.

Whatever journey lies ahead for you and Jasper, we will all travel it with you. I know how hard it is for you to write so we will write to let you know we are all here. Kathy never lets your thread slip off to page two, she faithfully bumps it up to let you know how important you and Jasper are.

We hold you both close to our hearts .

aw sweet Tina, it breaks my heart to hear about our precious boy. :( He is in the very best of hands, there is no doubt about that. The K9C angels are with you, all around you and Jasper. Please know you are never alone, Tina, never. And I'm really glad you sat with us Thanksgiving - we give each other strength and courage to keep going. We are sitting with you now.

I am very glad about the job. Just keep plugging - things will click into place for you soon. ;)

Please let us hear from you when you can.
Hugs,
Leslie and the gang

I'm up and hanging with the morning shift. Thanks gals!!! ;) We are all right there with you in spirit. Surrounding you and sweet Jasper with our strength and love.

You were such a help to me with Buddy's journey. All of you were. Staying with me as a lifeline. I will never forget how you were all there day and night to take shifts to reach out. We are here for you now in the same way. Whatever unfolds, we will be there. If you close your eyes and breathe, you'll even be able to feel us.

Gals, I have hot coffee, tea and cappuccino, while we wait. Marianne always has chocolate.;)

Chocolate indeed! ;)

A guest brought a yummy hostess gift on Thursday -- a can of Trader Joe's Cocoa Batons ("delicate rolled wafers filled with rich chocolate cream"). Since I know where to get more, I'm quite willing to be generous this morning...

But in all seriousness, Tina, we'll all be checking in throughout the day and hoping so much that things are OK.