Lena, Teacup Poodle w/ adrenal tumor - Lena is now an angel

:) Thanks, Leslie!

Happy Birthday, Lena!
Hugs from me too.

Thank you, Lori!

Awwww, I'm late as usual! Happy Birthday Angel Lena.

What lovely memories to have Joan. You'll always have those memories.

Tons of them, Sharlene...thanks!

Aww Joan, I’ve been thinking about you all week and composed a different note in my head every day but never got far enough to post a single one. The tears just made my eyes too blurry. I know how bittersweet the anniversaries and memories are for me, too, and I so wish I could reach out and give you a genuine giant bear hug.

I have a friend who is training in some sort of philosophy that warns against dwelling in memories because they keep your mind from appreciating life in the moment. Well, I say that’s hooey. My philosophy is that some of my most profound moments are when my past and my present all merge into one. I hold my memories sacred and dear to me. And the memories you share with us are sacred and so dear, too, Joan. I feel as though I can see Lena’s spirit perfectly through your mind’s eye, and I can feel how precious she remains to you, now and always. Lena is a gift you share with us all.

So Happy Birthday sweet little girl. And giant (((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))) to your mom.

Marianne

Awww., Marianne, now I'm crying. Hooey is right! Sometimes I think of all the fur babies I've lost and wonder why Lena has had this profound affect on me?? I know I loved them all, but she is the one that I just can't let go of. Every time I can't remember something about her, it freaks me out! And I go searching through all of my memories until I find it.

The estate she grew up on is going to be sold...and it makes me so sad. All my baby memories of her are there, and it's just going to be bulldozed and divided up into huge houses that no one will buy. And we've got pets buried there that will be dug up and dumped somewhere else.

When I come here, I know I am with friends who feel the same. I know I'm not alone, and/or crazy. We are a group of people who aren't afraid to show how much love we can give to our pets, or anyone else's.

This is a wonderful forum, and I am glad everyday that I happened upon it while googling Cushing's after Lena was diagnosed. I don't know how I could have gotten through the last two years without all of you.

Happy late birthday Lena . Memories of our babies are so very precious and wonderful . They keep them forever in our hearts and mind . I saw a sign the other day that said " You have my whole heart , for my whole life " Hugs to you Joan

Oh no, that is so sad that the estate is being sold and bulldozed up. :(

What a great sign, Dawn! Hugs to you, too...

I know, Sharlene...but the daughter doesn't want to keep it. Too much maintenance, too much money to maintain and too much in taxes. She has her own home and life in Bethesda, and it would just sit there neglected. I hope whoever buys it keeps the house, our house with the greenhouse attached and the garden. The houses are beautiful...hers was built in the 20's, ours was updated twice and they look French/Normandy. The houses that they are building in Kings Point now are monstrosities. No beauty, no charm, no taste.

After Lena was diagnosed, I thought we'd go back in the Spring. I wanted to see if she remembered it. She loved exploring the garden, watching the geese (and rolling in their poop!). I can't tell you how many times she'd be green with it and I'd have to give her a bath. She loved the beach and sitting on the dock looking out into Hempstead Harbor, her ears lifting in the breeze off the water. She was so tiny and the dock was so long. She was a beach baby, just like my daughter. I can see her and Andee strolling down the driveway together...Andee a big lab mix with this tiny creature following behind her. It was such a change for both of them, moving to Glen Cove to a 50 x 100 lot! Lena probably didn't mind, but poor Ann had lost her domain, 5 acres overlooking the sound and marshland! No geese, no ducks, no swans...

Now I have to find the pictures, getting nostalgic!

Oh my, Joan! What beautiful memories. Again, I feel like I can see it all through your eyes, and what a scene it is. I’m so sorry for your loss of this most special place and time, and for the loss of the precious connections.

I don’t do well with change. I know some people thrive on the excitement of constantly mixing stuff up. But not me. I’m a ritualistic, tradition-honoring kind of gal. I want beloved places, and people, to stay the same. Always.

Our next-door neighbor of 20 years moved away last week. He’s gone far enough away that I know we won’t see him again. How hard it was to stand in the yard together that last morning and say, well, have a good life. Luna loved him and always raced to greet him if she caught sight of him. And he was so, so kind with Peg. There at the end when we had to walk her gingerly around the front yard in her sling, he would come out and stand alongside us. He’d pet her and sweet-talk her. We’d all three have tears in our eyes because we knew what was coming. On the morning after she died, he appeared at our door with a dear sympathy card and a huge hug and a plate of homemade brownies “for the family.”

The new neighbors are here. They seem very nice and have young children and a young Golden Doodle. But they never knew Peg. They have no idea who she was, and we have no memories to share of 20 years of life together in the neighborhood. We’ll all be OK, and we’ll learn about each other. But it won’t be the same. Ever again. And today, that makes me feel really sad.

That is sad, Marianne...what a good neighbor he was.

Hello, my precious...how I miss you! Another Halloween without you. I tried keeping Sibbie on the stoop with me, but she kept barking at the kids and going at them when I tried to give them candy. So unlike you, my angel. I finally put her in and just sat there remembering how pleasant it was when we used to do it. You were so good, Lena, always so good. I think of you, and us, all the time. I talk to you in my mind constantly.

If you were still here I could bring you to work with me now. We Works is dog friendly. I know you wouldn't mind the train and you would be happy to just be with me...and everyone would just love you. The city is disgusting, but having you with me would make it tolerable.

This is the beginning of the holiday season and again, I am not into it. They only make me miss you more, my baby, my angel, my precious Lena. Mommy loves you always and forever, and ever and ever....

((((Hugs))))

Thanks, Lori...sometimes I still can't believe she's gone.

How are you feeling?

I'm feeling better but still have it in my chest...cough...cough...cough!

Yes , the holidays are coming . Such a hard time for the ones that have lost their babies. But yet the mind is flooded with many happy memories . I remember my baby's last Halloween . Dressed in her fairy costume . And Lena would have loved going with you to work . She would be happy just to be with her mommy . Big hugs to you Joan

I would love to see her in her fairy costume! I'll bet she looked adorable, Dawn. Lena didn't really like dresses, but she did like the shirts. Her last Christmas was the first time she ever wore a dress.

I'm so happy to hear from you!

Many, many hugs to you, too....

This is such a beautiful one from Leslie, Lena...and so, so true. You will always have my heart, my precious little girl.


My Friend, My Companion, My Pet

C’mon, old friend, the time has come
For you to finally rest.
You’ve given me your finest years
And I feel truly blessed.
We’ve walked many trails together
The best of times we’ve known
And now your aging body aches
And I must let you go.

You’ve taught me things I want to know
How to love, to share, to give,
To play, to laugh, and most of all
How wonderful it is to live,
And perhaps the most important thing-
How to graciously let go.

Good-bye, old friend, we’ve shared it all-
Our youth, our aging years
The best of times, and some hard times…
I’ve shed my share of tears
Worrying about you, watching you,
Fearing when we’d part
And now old friend, the time has come.
You know you take my heart.

I’ll miss you every moment
My heart hurts so inside
But you’ve suffered much too long, my friend
And that I can’t abide.

I pet you, gently hugging you.
I hear you softly moan.
You must depart,
You take my heart,
But you must go alone.

I’ll hold you in my arms, my friend
And my tears will wet your fur.
And you’ll know I’ll always love you
Our loyal bond endures. . .

by Christina

Merry Christmas, my little angel. This year Jeremy slept on the couch in the back room with you, while me and the rest of them slept in the front room. Sibbie kept waking up and remembering that he was here, would get up and run to the back room and greet him all over again. She must've done it four or five times. I bet you got a kick out of that. I hope you watched the tree with him like we used to do. It's quiet now and I'm the only one up. It used to be just the two of us after the mad rush was all over.

Daddy made prime rib, you're favorite Christmas Day dinner. It was just Jess and Sigi and the boys. Sibbie had a ball with the wrapping paper this morning, just like you used to. She got so into it she started ripping Jeremy's presents open! This year I let Doree wear her red t-shirt; you're green one is in the box with all my favorite things of yours. She looked adorable, but it wasn't the same without you in yours. That last Christmas you were so tired after everyone left. You fell asleep on the big dog bed still in your Xmas dress, the first time you ever wore one for Christmas. When I look at that picture now, I can see how tired you were and not just from the festivities.

I still miss you all the time, Lee. You are always with me, in my thoughts and in my heart...I remember things and I cry; I remember things and I smile. I guess it will always be this way.

Mommy loves you always and forever, my sweet little angel, my third child, dog of my heart. Merry Christmas in Heaven, my baby girl, my precious Lena. Give everyone a kiss for me.

Dearest Joan, sending huge loving and comforting hugs ♥♥♥

My precious angel, you've been gone three years today. I put my favorite picture of you up as my screen saver today, the one in our bedroom with you looking over your shoulder at me. My beautiful Lee...all day I've been holding it in. I can't cry on the train; I can't cry in the office I share with Savitre. But I'm home now and I can cry all I want. I would scream, but I don't want to upset the others, especially Gable. Daddy bought me a new chain for my charm with your ashes. Both of the other ones broke. This one is nice and heavy and I think it will hold. Luckily the other ones broke while I was home. I would have been a lunatic if either of them had broken on the train or in the city where I might've lost some part of you.

I wish I could say it doesn't hurt anymore, but it does. I still think before and after Lena; I still compare Sibbie to you; and I find myself calling her by your name sometimes...that could just be old age. We've been going to Cathy's a lot to see Marie. The first few times Sibbie was not as good as you always were, but she has been getting better. Matthew always says that she's not you and he misses his little friend. You always loved visiting. I think you will be seeing Marie soon. I know you'll be happy to see her, and once she's there she'll remember you, I'm sure.

I feel like the happy part of me went with you, Lena. I still go through the motions, but the things I used to love to do just don't interest me as much anymore. I worry about Gable, and Doree who is going to be 14 or 15. When I'm home, I just want to stay here and not go anywhere. Leaving them, and you, to go to work makes me very anxious...and I'm always rushing to get home. I take Sibbie with me wherever I can, just like I used to take you. She is not as well behaved, but I just need her with me. She is definitely my emotional support dog. Too bad we didn't know about those while you were still alive. You would have been so much better at it than she is.

The tree is still up...and you're on the mantel right next to it. I can't take it down yet. We loved looking at it so much, remember? Just me and you, at night looking at the lights and the ornaments. I'll probably take it down in the next couple of weeks. I know I'm taking a big chance leaving it up...Cooper has not peed on it yet! I bought a Williamsburg flat decoration of the coach that we went on the year you came with us...the Randolph Carriage. For years I thought it was the Robert Carter Carriage, but when I saw the pictures in the album, I was shocked to see I had been wrong. It's okay though because we stayed in the Robert Carter Kitchen that year, so it all works out. That was such a nice trip. We're supposed to go in May, but I'm not sure if we will. And we won't be taking Sibbie as she is not you and will not be happy with a babysitter. She'll be happier home with Jeremy, I think. We'll see...we've already put it off three times in the last couple of years. I love Sibble to pieces, but she's just not you.

There will never be another you in my heart, Lee. You were my perfect little girl, an absolute angel, my precious angel; my third child; my baby. I loved you with all my heart and soul, Lena. I will love you forever. Always and forever, my sweet, little precious angel. Mommy loves you always....

I know too well what you express. Our precious babies leave a void nothing can ever fill and we miss them every single day. Cherish your memories and let them bring as many smiles as tears. One day you will hold your darling girl again.

Hugs,
Leslie

I Am Always With You

When I am gone, release me, let me go.

I have so many things to see and do,
You mustn't tie yourself to me with too many tears,

But be thankful we had so many good years.

I gave you my love, and you can only guess
How much you've given me in happiness.

I thank you for the love that you have shown,
But now it is time I traveled on alone.

So grieve for me a while, if grieve you must
Then let your grief be comforted by trust
That it is only for a while that we must part,
So treasure the memories within your heart.

I won't be far away for life goes on.

And if you need me, call and I will come.

Though you can't see or touch me, I will be near
And if you listen with your heart, you'll hear
All my love around you soft and clear

And then, when you come this way alone,
I'll greet you with a smile and a "Welcome Home".

Author Unknown

Remembering Angel Lena with love, and sending hugs, hugs, and more hugs your way, Joan. We would never trade having the opportunity to love them, but the pain of the loss can be so hard to bear. We’re right there beside you in spirit, dear friend.

Dearest Joan, sending huge and loving hugs to you.

In loving memory of precious Lena, always.

((More Hugs)) Lori

Thank you, dear friends...Leslie, another beautiful poem. I so hope it's true.

Joan, I believe it is true with all my being. If I didn't believe I would see Squirt, Trinket, Brick, Crys, and so many others again I'm not sure I could go on another day.
((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))

Thanks, Leslie...

I know how you feel Joan and it is going on almost 5 years for me. Sometimes I feel that my heart wasn't just shattered but completely crushed as well. Just a couple of days ago I was a crying mess over "mah boy". I sure hope our babies know how truly we loved them and grieve for them. My heart feels your pain....

Thanks, Judi...I know it just comes crashing down sometimes. This is where I am able to express how I feel. I know that all of you feel the same. It's comforting to know that I'm not alone, but sad at the same time.

Happy birthday, my little angel. I have put off posting all day, even though my first waking thought, and all others, was that you would have been 18 years old today! 18! If you had been the third child I always pretended you were, you would've been able to vote; maybe gone off to college; gotten married?

Another connection to you is gone. Monika came for the last time today to groom Sibbie. We are her only clients in Glen Cove and it is too much trouble to get here. I had hoped I could talk her out of it, but nope. I even told her we would drive to wherever she might be, but she said that wouldn't work. I have to wonder if she might have kept coming if it had been for you. I cried and hugged and kissed her goodbye. She would not look me in the eye, and hers were red, so I think it was a hard decision for her...a business one. I don't know what we will do now. Sibbie is not as good as you, and will not like someone new touching her.

Sometimes I think you're still here, and that you haven't left me. I call Sibbie by your name and get THOSE looks from whoever I'm talking to. I hug her and tell her I love her, but it's you I am thinking of...that makes me feel bad for her. I do love her...but it's not the same, and I feel guilty because I miss you so much, Lee. I will never stop missing or loving you. I know you are still here with me. I saw you in the clouds the other day while I was on the train, and I see the signs you send me.

You have always been, and will always be, my precious, my baby, my heart dog, my angel Lena...Mommy loves you always and forever.

Oh Joan, I'm sorry this is late but I do want to join you in wishing precious Lena a Happy Birthday! Sending tons of huge and loving hugs your way. ♥♥♥

Thank you, Lori~

Joan, I’m so sorry you are loosing your groomer. I consider our groomer as a part of the family—and probably you do too. To top it off—you are loosing another connection to your baby Lena. I do have to tell you, when Annie is not looking, I go to your albums and smile at the pics of Lena—she was indeed a beautiful little baby. Blessings and many hugs today. Karen

A belated Birthday wish from us as well, Lena!

Lena, my precious angel...yesterday was four years since you've been gone. I've been crying since the holidays started, your favorite times, Thanksgiving and Christmas, cooking, shortbreads, company, presents...Daddy got me a beautiful 3-D crystal with the image of you sitting on the bed in Williamsburg, a young you. But I had already gotten myself one, one of my favorite pictures of you, an older you. The older you is more of what I remember...

I've been rereading this thread and remembering what those last days were like. You were so good through it all; you were so good always; you were such a good girl, Lena...the best. I know you hear me talking to you, either in my head or out loud sometimes. You are always in my thoughts, my darling girl, always...always and forever, my sweet angel.

Mommy loves you always and forever....

I know she is watching over you and knows how much you miss her. One day we will get to hold our precious girls again and then we can tell them all the things we have wanted to for so long.

(((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))
Leslie

All I'll want to do is hold her and kiss her a million times, Leslie :)

Joan my heart really goes out to you. You know Lena is always with you. I’m sure there are times when it’s a struggle as memories come popping up and it hurts so much. It was so sweet of you to remember me after all this time. I think I replied wrong to you and it didn’t get to you but I most certainly remember you and Lena and Sibbie. It may take me a few times to get all the posting/replying right. The memories you have of your baby are precious and I know she is right there loving you just as she always was!! Claire