Buddy, The Mighty Lizard Hunter - Suspected Pituitary Macro Tumor

Hi Kathy,
I hope you are hanging in there today. Just thinking about you and thought I would send some hugs on this fine Saturday!

xoxox,
Kerry (Millie's Mama)

Morning Kathy - sorry I never got back last night. It ended up a late one and after they left I fell asleep on the couch, gosh I am getting old!!! I hope your feeling a little better today, it is only what 4 days since you lost Buddy so of course you are going to be feeling it still. You are certainly most unselfish and even though it hurts so much to let him go you know you did the right thing,.. right?! Of course you do, as you were so in tune with our little mate Buddy that you knew it was time to say Goodbye even when it ripped your heart out to do it. Don't put yourself under any pressure whatsoever to start feeling OK about all of this, I love what Leslie and the others have written to you, so very true and slowly slowly you are going to start feeling easier about your decision sweet. But for now all of us are warm presence in your life so you lean on us and absorb our group strength and hugs to get you through the darkness xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Marianne,
You said that the firsts were the worst when losing a fur baby. That is not true for me. The silence in my home with no one talking to each other and everyone grieving is the worst. Caring for seniors who are often a challenge without a mini mediator to crack everyone up and ease the tension is the worst. Continuing on with nothing to look forward to is the worst. Being stuck at home all summer without a fur baby is the worst. There are many more things that are just as hard as the firsts, especially the ones that don't go away.

Kathy sending you big hugs. That situation sounds quite awful and I'm sure it is very depressing, like depressing, adding onto depression. Not a good situation for any of you.
Do your parents get out and do stuff at all? Or are they pretty much house people? What about doing some volunteer work over the summer? Something that you would like, or working with an animal rescue. Just something to get out of the house. I do volunteer when I have time, not working, with a local hospital, in day surgery. I like it and I get to keep in touch with all my friends from before I went back to work. (I was doing volunteer before rejoining the work force).
I'm just throwing ideas out, something to think about. It might not work for you. If not, get the passport and go somewhere, see Trish or do something adventurous. :) Take a cruise or do a tour guide vacation.
Grieving for Buddy is hard any time, but this sounds like it is grief and depression of 3 people filling the house. That can't be good for you.

hugs,
Sharlene

Hi
ANY way that you can get yourself out of your house will do you a world of good.I think you mentioned that your parents move about pretty well and you could call a family member to watch over things if you were to go away?Getting a passport may take a bit of time but go away for a few days,pamper yourself a little and begin to heal.You've suffered a tremendous loss and need a little time for yourself.A change of scenery is always uplifting and a good distraction from the grief.
HUGS
Patty

Kathy,
Taking care of seniors is hard! I know it's hard for me and I pretty much do it just Sundays, holidays, and our caregivers vacation. You're there all the time and that's a lot. Tomorrow I have to go out to my moms, and because of July4th it's 2 days this week, and I have to admit I would really love to just stay home...but I must go.

As for getting a dog...what exactly are they objecting to? The expense? Is it the sadness and not wanting to go through the loss again?
I know how lonely it must feel for you...and how having a little pup who needs you would help you heal! I guess you told your parents this...I really hope they come around. You deserve what makes you happy and it certainly sounds like you do a lot for others...you are not asking for much. What if you just went out and came home with a dog?? Would they totally freak out or maybe would they just melt when the dog was right there in the house?
Are your parents in good health? Can they do things on their own at all?
I really want you to have a dog...there are so many out there and I know there's one who really needs you!!! :p

Kathy,
I agree that you need some time away from your parents. I'm lucky enough that my father's health has improved so much that I can safely spend a weekend in Greenwich without worry.


As for a dog, if this is your home that your parents are living in, then you make the decision in your own time regardless of what they say. Parents never think of us as true adults and it is hard when you're all in the same house, I know. They still want that control.

Can you talk with them about Buddy, your memories, and share in the grieving together? This may help all of you get through the process.

Then get a dog when you feel that the time is right.

The problem with another dog is they don't want to start over. What I want/need makes no difference. They are heartbroken over Buddy. They did not want me to take him. Unless I can wear them down eventually, I won't be able to get another dog until they are no longer around to object. I cannot bring a puppy into the home with seniors that don't want one. I wouldn't want their frustrations to be taken out on the puppy. I cannot be home all the time to protect a precious little fur baby. I work. It is not a problem with money. Buddy was my dog. I paid for everything and I never asked them for a cent, not even when vet bills started to accumulate. Yes, my parents can get around well on their own. They just need help with some things. They can be very exasperating at times. It makes everything easier when I just give in and do what they want. No, I can't just bring a puppy home and surprise them. That would not go over well for me or the puppy.

HI Kathy

I am back! How has the day gone? I guess we can park the getting a new dog issue for the time being, leave it a bit while is it is so raw for everyone and hopefully revisit some time later.

Hi Trish,
I have a migraine tonight which is no big surprise since I haven't been eating or sleeping well. I spent the day cleaning for my mom's Bunco party tomorrow. She's been in a group probably more than 50 years. Most of them have either died out or can no longer drive. It is quite a sight to see! Yes, no puppy in the immediate future. I do normally get what I want eventually.