Re: Max test results help
Just hopping on to wish all you pet and human moms a Happy Mother's Day.
Whew, I did not know grief could produce an array of emotions. I have laughed, cried, felt anger, guilt...all in the matter of a few days. I know it will get better, but I find myself worrying that I will forget all of the things. We find ourselves looking for him...Max is everywhere. I am allowing myself (and our kids 16 & 19 and their first dealings with any type of loss) to just feel what we feel. We are spending a lot of time together talking, walking, hugging...whatever we need.
I would love to hear how each of you found a little peace when dealing with grief. I know I am not alone!
Re: Max test results help
Oh Elizabeth, I can so easily imagine what a rollercoaster you’re riding on. But I think you are doing the very best thing possible by letting yourself and your kids “just feel what you feel.” There is no blueprint to guide us on this journey, and I think we each discover our own steppingstones along the way. I’ll keep coming back to add more thoughts as they come to me. But as a beginning, I’m gonna suggest you might want to poke around a bit in the threads on our “In Loving Memory” forum. You’ll find links to other supportive websites, as well as threads added by our members as we’ve grappled with our grief and loss over time.
Just having the chance to come here and write whatever comes to my own mind has brought me such comfort over the years. Also, a special gift for me has been the special candle-lighting site that I talk about in the post below. In previous years when our membership was more active, each day there were often several candles lit and shining for our family. Now there are not so many. But I’m still often there myself for the reasons given in my post, especially since I’ve now lost another furbaby since that time. So perhaps that would be a comfort for you, too. If so, here’s the link to the candle site:
https://www.k9cushings.com/forum/sho...-at-The-Bridge
So for now, I’ll leave you with my thoughts below. But as I say, I’ll surely be back again later on.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
labblab
Oh my, that poem is so sweet and touching! Thanks so much for sharing it, Karen.
I’m so glad you found the candle-lighting site. It is such a comfort to me. I use it kind of as a diary, writing little notes to my angel babies as the mood strikes. I lost my Barkis 14 years ago, and my sweet Peg almost 3 years ago. And I still go to the candles regularly in order to leave them a note. In the glow of the flame, it helps me feel close to them to tell them what I’m thinking and how much I’ll always love them.
I think part of what makes a pet loss so especially hard is that they are the ones upon whom we always rely to help us through our other losses. Their sweet kisses and tail wags calm our souls. Their unwavering loyalty and companionship are buffers against the pain. But when they themselves are gone, it feels as though there’s no comfort to be found anywhere. The grief is overwhelming and everpresent.
When Barkis died, I cried every day until the afternoon we brought baby Peg home. My daily tears stopped not because I missed him any less, but because she needed me to focus and take care of her. And I did, and so another bond was forged. But now they’re both gone, and the tears still come at times. Lighting my candles does help. And having the chance to write and share my stories about them also helps. Karen, if you’d care to write and tell us more about Gracie and your lives together, it would be our privilege to read your stories. All our memories are so precious, and I think it’s a gift to us all to share them. It unites our little family in our love for our true and forever companions.
Sending warm wishes for peace and comfort your way,
Marianne
Re: Max test results help
I love that! The candle site is great! I also didn’t realize that there was a grief and loss forum, and I will definitely check it out… Thank you so much.
Re: Max test results help
I’m so glad you found the candle site, Elizabeth! I just now saw your sweet candle alongside my own for my fur angels. It warmed my heart to see both our candles there. I do want to add that if you ever want to keep your candle message private, you need not include the “K9C” and that way only you will know how to find it and view it. But for me, it has always felt like a badge of honor to include the K9C and to know that my babies are forever part of this family. I’m at the candle site quite often.
I’ve also been thinking of other things that have brought me comfort. I just lost my little Lab girl, Luna, in December. She didn’t have Cushing’s, so my thread about her is on our “Everything Else” forum. But soon after she left us, I wrote this on her thread:
Quote:
Writing can be a comfort to me, and at the time of the passing of Barkis, Peg and now Luna, I’ve tried to gather my special memories and write them down. With each, I sit and I cry and miss them so dearly. And to try to soothe myself, I’ve written a note to each one when they passed, listing all the things I never want to forget about them and thanking them. Any little special habit or memory that comes to my mind. And then any time, even years later, I can pull out the list and relive our time together, if only in memory and just for a moment. I’m not finished with Lunie’s list yet. I know I’m not near done with her list yet. I’ll keep adding for a while…
In my letters, I go ahead and tell them about the guilt I have felt. Each time, there has been guilt. But somehow, by writing it down, it makes it a little easier to let loose of it. And mostly my notes are just full of my special memories. Things I’d think I’d never forget. And yet, when I go back and read my notes once again, I’m so surprised that I *have* forgotten many things. And it is a gift to remember and relive them once again. Anyway, just another little thought from me to you!
Re: Max test results help
Our boy is home. We received his ashes and his paw imprint today. I feel comfort knowing he's home, but pain as well.
I love the idea of a letter. When I am ready I will do that...maybe for now just start a list. Max's breeder sent me some puppy pics of when he was born. I did not realize that he was the first born of the litter. First one on Earth and last to leave. :( Bless him!
Marianne I didn't realize until last week that you lost your Luna in December. I am so very sorry...I am so thankful for this community!
Re: Max test results help
This community has always been my solace, too, Elizabeth. It is such a special family. I’m so glad Max is safely home once again. Luna is with us, too, and for that we are so grateful.
