Mira, 7yr old Husky - Cushings ruled out; liver cancer (Mira has passed)

Hi Janis,

If you're appointment on Thursday is with the Veterinary Cancer Group in Tustin, they are not going to lie to you. They will tell you exactly what you are facing, whether there is a possibility of remission with chemo and how long they think Mira has with and without treatment. As Marianne mentioned, there is probably more than one treatment option, which VCG will discuss with you. They are a great facility and treat cancer patients from all over So Cal.

It breaks my heart that you are so confused and scared and I'm hoping that the docs at VCG can makes things a lot more clear for you. Perhaps you might want to consider calling VCG to see if they may have an earlier appointment.

Glynda

I will be praying for your beautiful baby.
sonja and Apollo

I don't think she is going to make it. I wish it wasnt so late, I wish I had someone to talk to.

Still reading and sending support and strength your way. Is there anyway as Glynda suggested to move your appt up? Huge bear hugs, Kim

The watching and the waiting can drive you crazy and break your heart. Hopefully today will hold some better moments when Mira seems to be more comfortable and you two can have some quality time together. I'll be thinking of you both.

Marianne

Sending lots of love and strength your way. I hope you have a better day today.

Love and hugs,

She is limping horribly. I called ACC they said it was ok to increase Tramadol. I told them that she was not sleeping, appetite has gone way down and legs not so good walking. They said then you better bring her in and move on to the next step. I was afraid to ask what the next step is.*

I increased the Tramadol. I had to force it down her throat. It did not help her leg at all. But she was barking in her sleep awhile ago. She looks peaceful now.*

I'm just putting off the inevitable. I talked to her for awhile. Asked her if it was time to go. She didn't say. She finally turned away from me.*

I went for a long walk by myself. I found nothing.*

When i got back, I tricked her into looking out the window at me. Our Mira who liked to look at the window.*

And once again I'll fail her as she dies because I won't be able to be with her. I'm not sure I'll be able look at her when she is gone. *

As Mira limped her way over to me just now... Kira looked at Mira with worry in her eyes. And she whined a couple times. That's the first time I have seen Kira do that... Kira was never the same after Kodi died.*

I really don't know what to do. I've changed my mind three times in the last twelve hours. Probably more. I guess I should go to ACC but I'm scared she will never come home again. God she's only seven! I asked my husband to stay home today. Chemo really seems unlikely now. How can I put her thru more? Well at least she's no crying. My brother says as long as she eats and doesn't vomit and isnt restless then she is doing good. God help me...

Thank you for being here you guys.

Janis, I know it is probably impossible for you to believe this right now. But you are not failing Mira. You are with her every minute, and you are witnessing her pain, and you are judging how much it is fair to ask of her and how much it is fair to want for her. These are things that tear apart your own heart as you try to decide what is best. So you are not failing her, no matter how it feels to you. When the time comes to release her from the tumors, you will not fail her if you cannot bear to be physically present. She will feel your love from the ends of the universe.

I wish I could somehow share your burden. But you are the one person who is best able to judge what is best for Mira. Whatever you decide is right, because your decision comes from your love for her. Whatever happens, we are here for you.

Marianne

I do have one more thought, though. Could you call ACC and ask them what they would do for Mira if you bring her in -- what the "next step" is? That way, it might feel easier to make a choice about it.

Marianne