Confused and Overwhelmed-Diagnosed Anal Sac Carcinoma (Woody has passed)

Your up late Mel. I,ve done pretty well today had a good walk, that helped loosen up my legs and back. I,ve cooked the last two nights, I had homemade chips, chicken, peas and carrots tonight followed by a cheesecake (sister made the cheesecake). I know its basic simple cooking to most people, but I usually just have a sandwich or put something in the microwave, or hope my sister has cooked for me :D
I think that is my problem is most of the time I can,t be bothered cooking, so I just grab a sandwich, but I,m making a conscious effort to cook. :D

How are you doing today Mel, Yeah a month already, feels like a lifetime some days other days it feels like yesterday. I had toast at mums this morning when I was over and left the crusts, mum was like Woody,s not here anymore, he always got the crusts of the toast and I can,t get out the habit of it.:confused:

Trying to unwind before sleep, know if I go now mind will be whirring. Washing machine has decided to play up too so I am fighting it to give me all the socks back!!

I think it is harder to bother cooking for one but I do believe that nutrition does play a part in feeling well. Google is great for inspiration and everything can be scaled down. I love to cook and bake and really don't even mind if it's rubbish cause I tried :D

I am ok, having my moments. Tia started to get poorlier over these weeks last year so I can't help but think back to it all. Still feels like yesterday to me too sometimes. I try not to think about it as she slowly slipped away in front of my eyes and there was nothing I could do.

I know all about saving crusts. It's the little things that can really get you sometimes. He was such a presence in your life, it's makes it so so hard

I think in that respect I was lucky if you can call it that, in that I didn,t need to watch Woody get sick over a period of time as it happened so quick with him as he was what I thought quite well right up to his second collapse, and was playing in the morning, but the flip side to that is the shock of the speed of it all. I am still haunted by the look in his eyes on his collapse, something inside me just knew he wouldn,t be with me much longer, I see it every time I close my eyes :mad:

I,m sorry I wasn,t around when Tia got sick, and I can understand that you will be thinking of her at this time, it is sometimes harder to think about them in happier times when they were well, I try and focus on that when I think of Woody, doesn,t always work though. So you need to be kind to yourself, and if you need to cry, scream, rant, reminisce then I will be here with you ;)

Just bloody sucks they are only with us for a short time. I was so lucky in many ways, I had her from 8 weeks to 12 years 3 months and got to spend the last 6 or so years working from home with her every day. She was such a character a right little miss, who liked her own way, hated the floor, loved her snuggles, she was a very loving little girl, a mummy's girl for sure, although she would never talk to me after the vets visits, would go straight to bed and sleep till dinner then she would be ok with me!

Thank you for saying that. I didn't post much when she was poorly, I think for a while I was in denial but I came back a little while before I let her go and everyone was kind to me in the months that followed.

I am sorry that you had to go through what you both went though, it's must be very hard to have that image in your mind, when I think sad thoughts of Tia I always try and remind myself of her happy memories and naughty ones. I bet your wee man has a few of those xx

She was defo was a mummy,s girl and why wouldn,t she be :D I love staffies, they always seem to be smiling and always have there tail wagging.

Denial I think we all know how that goes, we,ve all been in denial I know I was. It is great that you had so long with her at home with you, and yea it Sucks big time that there only with us for a short time. I only had Woody for 3 and half years no time at all really, but we did pack in a lot in those years. We loved the Lake District and would go there 4 - 5 times a year for a week and he loved it, big open spaces, lots of new smells and plenty of pub fires to lie in front off. :D

Trying to focus on the good, naughty times is good for us both as by the sounds of it they both had a lot of them, I have never met such a naughty little feisty terrier as Woody, nothing like my last terrier who was very quiet, but it won,t stop us missing them like mad, sometimes I feel like I,ve lost a limb as it was me and him against the world and now its just me. :mad:

She had her grumpy moments. Boyce is the ever go lucky happy fella. She was more selective which staffies typically aren't!

The Lake District was one of the only places I didn't take them! So great you both got to do that. We also used to have about 4-5 breaks a year. We have such great beaches and walks and it's so great to see them scamping around checking it all out.

Woody was a character that's for sure and that's what makes it harder as he kept you on your toes! Not just you, all of us are with you. Never alone ever, may only be via the internet but I am very real sitting here in my pj's talking to you xxx

Right back at you Mel, I,m in my PJ,s too. That,s the thing our lives revolved around our dogs, I would never go on holiday unless Woody went too, if I was out for the night I went home early so he wasn,t left too long, came home from work at lunchtime to walk him, it was all about Woody, but I would never have had it any other way :D

I sadly sat in my bedroom this morning and had a good cry while I was holding his bed, as I can still smell him on it sad I know but I would give anything for just some more time with him, but alas it wasn,t to be and it sucks. I,m sure you feel the same way about Tia
xx

Sounds like he had a great life in the time you did get to spend with him, you made it count for both of you. Did he used to get excited when he knew you were going away? Mine know the word holiday!

I can imagine him exploring all the places, sniffing around.

A good cry is what's needed sometimes, have to let it out as it's hard to have a brave face always. Good it smells of him still, some small comfort however hard.

I do wish we had longer.

Yip he knew as soon as I brought the suitcase out, I would open his holdall that I put all his stuff in and he would sniff it and start jumping around, it was funny to watch him. I would put toys in it and he would take them out and look at me, as if to say there not going, so I had to make that the last thing I did before zipping it up. He loved the car and would sit in his bed in the back and look out the window all the way there as soon as you said "we,re here" his wee tail would go that fast it was like a helicopter lol :D

Did you win the fight between the washing machine and the socks yet :)

Bless him! He made a game out of the toys being packed. I tend to start packing a few days before so she would always twig and start following me, she would sleep most of the way but then usually wake up and sit in the gap so she could see when we arrived!

Nope all the bloody lights are flashing now so I think it might be broken. They are new socks and lots of them so will have to figure out a way to get them tomorrow, given up in disgust right now!!

I better try and attempt some sleep as it's getting later. Catch you soon, thanks for the chat tonight xxx