Holidays can be hard...

Dawn I am so very sorry to read your news. You wonder sometimes just how much in this life of bad things can be thrown at you before you cannot take anymore. Somehow we go on though, plod through and somewhere, sometime life is worth it again. I cannot believe the struggle some us are dealt. My heartfelt sympathies are with you especially this time of year.

On another note, I actually dropped by the forum to wish the absolute wonderful family here a Very Merry Christmas, and only the very best in the New Year.

It is still difficult for me to come on here, you would think after 4 years it would be easier, and I guess it is a little, but all in all still a heartache.

Ok.... enough of the sadness for now.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE......REMEMBER THE REASON FOR THE SEASON.

Thank you Judi. I know you understand . I am tired of sadness and pain . No more fur babies or loves for me . Hope everyone will have a Happy New Year . A coming year of good health , happiness and peace .

Dear Judi and Dawn,

Thank you so much for all your well wishes, and I join in wishing our K9C family much peace and comfort in this new year. So many challenges are faced by so many of us, and the love and support of our dear little family helps to carry us all through together. I wish only the best for us all.

Happy New Year, indeed!

Love, Marianne

I know our winter holiday season is now far behind us, but it’s not until today that I’ll be packing away my own decorations. And I wanted to add one more note here to explain why I’ve been so scarce during the past month. I was feeling so good about being well-prepared for Christmas this year — the tree was up, the presents bought, the cards had been sent, the menus were planned. And then, one week beforehand, I pulled up the last email I was ever to receive from my beloved mom. At age 99, she was still sharp as a tack, and we emailed back and forth every day. The email title was “A matter of concern...” and she proceeded to tell me that she had awakened that morning frighteningly short of breath. Didn’t call me, mind you — but emailed me so as not to worry me unduly. The rest of the past month is a blur. Something catastrophic had gone wrong with her heart and she was way beyond wanting any intervention. So we enlisted hospice, she told them exactly what she did and did not want to have done, we loved on her 24/7, and during the early morning hours of Sunday, she relinquished her hold on this world. I like to think she had a front row seat for the lunar eclipse that night. She would have loved that.

She was not only my mother, she was my best friend. Only now am I finally allowing some of the pain to set in, and I will miss her so dearly. For so many reasons, it will be so bittersweet to pack away the decorations today for the Christmas that was not to be. A blink of an eye, and the holidays are gone this year along with my mom. There is still a lot to be done, and it’ll be a while before I’m back here again in full force. But I’ve still been reading and following along with my family here, and I still wish everybody my best for whatever lies ahead of us in this new year to come. Truly, peace and comfort and love remain my hope for us all until the day comes that we reopen the doors to our holiday house once again.

Dearest Marianne,

Today I have been going through stories I have written, thoughts of mine, snippets through the years. I came across a letter I had written the first Christmas I spent without my mother. It gave me pause and reflection.

I took a break and decided to stop by the forum. I saw your last post and my heart sank with sadness, reading it.

Nothing prepares us for the loss of our mother, no matter how long they may live. It changes, I think, who we are in an unexpected way.

I can smile now when I think of my mom and I hope you can too when the loss is not so fresh and new.

But I can still feel sadness too and I can understand my mother now, better, perhaps than I did when she was alive.

Big hugs, Marianne and perhaps next year, if appropriate, I will share my Christmas letter written to my mother.

I am so, so very sorry.

Marianne, I am devastated for you to read your news. I am so sorry. You are such a huge support and comfort for us here, and you should take as much time as you need to grieve and go through the process of losing your mother, especially this time of year. Sounds like your mother was in control till the very end and that is truly a blessing in it's own. My own mother spent her last weeks in care, and I know how difficult it can be. Please know that I will be thinking of you over the next several weeks, and as you look back take comfort knowing how blessed you were to have her in your life so long. My deepest sympathies going out to you.

Dear Marianne , my heart was filled with sadness with the news of your mother`s passing . What a special relationship you two had . May the sweet and loving memories of your life together comfort you . Love is forever .

Marianne, I am just seeing the sad news of your mom's passing and I am so terribly sorry for your loss. There are no words of comfort that can ease the pain of losing the one person in your life who made you you. I love you very much and you will not be far from my mind for weeks to come as I know how difficult the coming days will be.

(((Huge Consoling Hugs)))

Your k9c sister, Glynda

Well, beloved K9C family, I’ve dusted off the doors to our holiday house and we’re officially open for business once again! It does feel a bit odd to be kicking off the northern hemisphere autumn holiday season at a moment when my outdoor thermometer is registering 99 degrees :-((((. Today we officially set a heat record here in Atlanta both for the day and also for the most 90 degree days in a single year. Sooooooooo tooooooo hot, that’s for sure. But cooler weather is supposed to finally flow in overnight, I couldn’t resist buying the perfect pumpkin I saw at the store today, and my fireplace mantel is now all set up with my traditional Halloween ghosts and black candles. So my thoughts immediately turned to our holiday house here ;-). In addition to Halloween, we’re open well in advance of Canadian Thanksgiving, too, on 10-14. So if anybody else is in the mood to chat during the coming days, we’ll be here!

I just now poured myself a glass of wine and read back through this entire thread from the very beginning back in 2010. Goodness, so many memories. So. Many. Memories. So much has changed for me, personally, as well as for so many other members of our family. But what a gift to feel so supported by everyone who’s ever added a note here. Through the good times and bad, what a gift to have a safe place to turn.

My last posting here last year was to tell you all about my mom’s death. So I’ll just start out this year’s postings by saying that I know her absence will be central to how I feel about the holidays this year, as well. But not so much Halloween. For some reason, although I love Halloween dearly, it never really caught her fancy and she never joined in the festivities. So our October celebration will be pretty much the same as always, except for especially missing Peg, our shiny black Halloween dog...

Anyway, as I say, I couldn’t resist going ahead and reopening this thread in the event anybody else wants to stop on by. I’ll be watching out for you!

Marianne

I really enjoy Halloween too! One of my TV channels is airing Halloween movies all of this month, one of favorites is Hocus Pocus, I just love Bette Midler in that movie!

My niece's daughter, Misty (who just turned 5 years old in July!) told me that she is going to be a wolf this year for trick or treating! Last year she went as a cat and was super cute, can't wait to see her get-up this year!

I released my last monarch last week, which made the total of 103! They are such beautiful creatures!!! The yellow mums I planted last year are starting to bloom now, they look so pretty! Most of the leaves have fallen from the trees, which means that I'll need to have my gutters cleaned out soon, there's always something that has to be done around this house!

Wishing everyone a Happy Halloween!!

Lori

103 monarchs!!! Lori, that is awesome :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

And I love the idea of Misty being a little wolf — what a cutie pie she’ll be!!! I love everything about Halloween, but for sure the best part is opening the door to the Treat-or-Treaters. (Ummmm....well maybe except for the candy...;-).

Whoops, I’m one day late in wishing our Canadian members “Happy Canadian Thanksgiving!” But the sentiment is sincere, even if the timing is a bit off...;-)

Best wishes to all our family north of the border! :D:D:D:D

Hi all, sorry I missed checking in on Thanksgiving! But happy Canada Thanksgiving to all.

We had a good thanksgiving, just had Daniels mom over. She spent the night on Sunday then we cooked on Monday and ate and ate and ate some more. :) :)

I hope that all of you are doing okay. I've missed you tons.
I'm making some career changes to a new position at the company i work for. Hopefully things will, after I learn this new job, then allow me to get some life/work balance back. Something that has been sadly missing. cross fingers.

Hey Sharlene, it’s so great to hear from you, and especially to hear about your job change. We’ve got our fingers crossed, too, that your job demands will ease up — we miss you SO much around here!!!

Sooooo...Halloween has come and gone. I love Halloween, but I’m afraid it turned out to be an anticlimax this year. I decorated just like always, and we planned to have our usual friends over for dinner and to hand out candy. I’d already decided to bestow the honor of wearing the orange collar onto Luna. The orange collar was Peg’s — Luna (and Barkis before her) had always worn purple. But Luna’s 11 now, and somehow I just felt like it was finally right to adorn her with the orange this year. I felt like Peg would have agreed and been proud of her little sister.

But the day before, the weather forecast was atrocious. Heavy rain, wind, and a temperature drop of about forty degrees :-(. I figured there wouldn’t be hardly any kids at all. Plus, I felt overwhelmed trying to straighten up the house. I still have so many unopened boxes of my mom’s things strewn all over, we look like hoarders :-((. I know our friends would totally understand and not care. But still. So at the last minute, we decided to just meet at a restaurant to celebrate our friend’s birthday (she’s a Halloween baby). We had a very nice dinner, but all four decided we would rather have been at our house, like always. Rain or no rain, boxes or no boxes. So next year, I think we’ll be back on track, no matter what. And hopefully Luna will still get her chance to wear the orange collar (fingers crossed for that, too!).

In the face of loss, I’ve decided it’s really hard to tell in advance which rituals feel better to keep the same and which feel better to change. Now I know it’s better to keep Halloween the same. We’ll see how Thanksgiving turns out. We’d been staying home these last several years because my mom didn’t feel physically able to make the drive to Tennessee where my brother lives with his family. So she and I cooked together here. Mainly me cooking now, but my mom still always made the dressing and pumpkin pie. This year, hubby, Luna and I will head up on up to my brother’s. In this case, I think it will feel better to be surrounded by family up there than to be cooking alone and seeing the empty spot at our table here. But I dunno. We’ll see. That’s all we can do, I guess — give things a try and see how it goes. I’ll let you all know, and in the meantime, I’ll be wishing you all the best, too.

Marianne

Well, Thanksgiving is now behind us. We ended up staying home after all, as the Tennessee folks were hit by the flu. So I ended up having to face what I had wanted to avoid — the empty spot at my table where my mom should have been. The rest of the holiday week was basically fine, sometimes even good. But Thursday was not good. Really not good. At all. For the heck of it, I decided to sit in my mom’s chair, myself, to see how things looked from her perspective. I hoped it might help. It made things a little different, but it did not make things better. But at least the first Thanksgiving without her here is done. I lived through it and it’s over. I know things can never be the same again, but maybe next year will be better. I sure hope so.

I hope next year is better for you as well, Marianne. These anniversaries are odd; one would think they would progress naturally from really bad to easier and easier as each one passes but for me that has not been the case. A woman who lost her daughter, who was my age, told me when Gia died that the 3rd year would be harder than the first...and she was right. Why I don't know. Once that was behind me I expected things to get easier and easier and some years they have been. This was not one of those years. For some reason this 13th year has been an especially hard one. I still find comfort in the belief that she is with Squirt, Trinket, Brick, my dad, and so many others but this year I found an extra measure of comfort in my own aging because each day that passes brings me one day closer to being with Gia and them all once again. I pray you find the anniversaries in your life pass more and more easily with much comfort to be found in each one.

Hugs,
Leslie

Leslie, thank you so much for your reply. Throughout the years, the thoughts you’ve shared about your own grieving have been so full of meaning for me, too. What you’ve written today is another help. I’ve always been one to hold expectations about how things in the future are gonna seem or feel. The older I get, the more I realize how useless — even damaging — those expectations can be. I think you’re 100% right about this, that there’s no straight line ahead. And the sooner I let loose of the expectation that there *will* be one, the easier it may be for me to regain my footing after an especially bad patch. Right now, the image of “black ice” came into my mind. The kind you don’t even see before you hit it and go spinning. Some things this year didn’t sadden me anywhere near as much as I expected. Other things have carried such hurt. Thursday was one time when the expectation and the reality matched up. It was not a good day. But there’s no telling what next year will bring (or tomorrow, for that matter...). Live in the moment, Marianne, live more in the moment! Is this a lesson I can take to heart? I’d surely like to try.

Thank you again, my friend. And I’m sending you tons of hugs in loving memory of all your angels, especially your precious Gia. Love is forever. I do believe that with all my heart.

She always says the right things...even in her poems. I find great comfort in her posts and in her faith that we will be with them again.

"Black ice" is exactly what it's like...all of a sudden. Some days I can skate across without falling and then other times, down I go and anything will make me cry.

I miss my dad, especially around Christmas. He loved Christmas! It was usually just me and him decorating the tree, mostly me while he directed :). And I miss my mom, even though she's still here. There are times I'm trying to remember something and I automatically think I'll ask her, but she doesn't remember anything anymore. I'm not even sure she knows who I am. Funny, no matter how old we get, we still need our parents.

I hope you're feeling a little better, Marianne...

Yes, we never know when tears will flow. We had record breaking cold last winter. Since moving to the condo, Zoe’s tree has to be stored in the garage, which I have been told is a big no no for pre lite trees. I was sure I would be out shopping for a new tree this year but apparently Zoe still needs her tree because every light quickly lite up, still burning brightly. I burst into tears of thanks. By all accounts that tree is getting older and older, stored in sketchy conditions and should not work any more.
Marianne, Thanksgiving is hard and I can relate to the empty seat. I hope it is less sad next year. I avoided hosting for two years because of empty chair, finally gave in to Kate and hosted this year. I too was acutely aware of missing my mom at our table.
Leslie, you are so wise and always find the right words of comfort. I so admire your ability.
So hear we are for another holiday. I hope you all find comfort and peace this season. May all your lights shine brightly and you hold close every memory and tradition.
I lost my Lucy work dog in October. She was almost 13. I bought a light for her at our humane society. May it be the brightest light ever to reflect her amazing spirit.
Koko, bless him, is still traveling around town and just enjoyed a ride in a glass elevator which he thought was really cool. I could not stop laughing.
I hope you all gather memories until you have the most beautiful bouquet.
Love you always

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I hope you all gather memories until you have the most beautiful bouquet.

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Oh Addy, I just burst into tears when I read that! Good tears, though, because it is the most perfect wish of all — sooooooo perfect. Thank you so much for that. I’m trying to muster the courage to put up our Christmas tree today, and what you’ve written really helps. I’m so happy that Zoe’s tree still lives!

It’s wonderful to have you stop back by again. I’m so sorry about Lucy. I know this is another great loss for you. But I’m so relieved to hear that Koko is still going strong. I love picturing him in that glass elevator! He must have been thinking, “So this is what the squirrels see when they head up their trees!” ;)

Wishing you the best, and again, you’ve brightened our day just by stopping by!

Love ‘ya,
Marianne

Sweet Addy,

It is always so good to hear from you! I love the story of Zoe's tree and fully believe she has had a hand in keeping it "alive". Not only did she need to see it she also knew you did as well. But I am so sorry to hear about Lucy - I know how much she meant to you especially after Zoe had to leave. Funny how we can become so attached to a baby who doesn't even live with us but there was just something special about Lucy that the two of you shared all those years. It is very good to hear that Koko is still going strong and like Marianne my mind was full of images of him on that elevator fully engaged in his new perspective!

I hope you and yours have the Happiest of Holidays, full of love and laughter, joy and peace.

Hugs,
Leslie

My mom died this morning. Christmas is going to suck even more than usual this year!

Oh Kathy...I'm so sorry.

Oh my gosh! Kathy, I’m so sorry, too! Had she been ill, or was this unexpected? Either way, I know how extra hard the loss is, right now at the holidays. I’m truly so sorry, and wish there was some way we could be a help to you.

Sending many hugs across the miles, and wishing so much I could deliver them personally...

She had been struggling with chronic issues for a few years, but remained mentally sharp to the end. She was doing OK despite many health challenges until this past Monday. She would fall often and I wasn’t able to lift her. The situation was increasingly getting more difficult, but we were making it work. I took her to Emergency on Monday after having an increasingly difficult night. After many tests, her outlook was bleak. She was moved to the ICU early Friday morning and died six hours later. After assuring her that I would take care of dad, we let her go in peace. That was her choice. My folks had been married 67 years. He’s not in the best shape either, I think that he’s been hanging on to take care of her. So yes, she had been struggling, but there was no cancer and she was stable. Her sudden passing was unexpected, But better for her.

Oh Kathy, this sounds so much like what happened with my mom last Christmas. It’s such a gift to us that they were cognitively intact and in charge of their own final decisions so we won’t ever have to second guess that part. But what a shocking loss to have them “here” with us one day and then gone the next. I totally understand that it was better for her. But now your own life and that of your dad is changed forever. I wonder how long he’ll be able to hang on without her. For both of you, things will be so different now.

Of course I can’t know how this all feels to you, but I sure do remember how last Christmas felt to me — and how “off” the holiday season remains to me this year. So please come back any time you want to in the coming days to write more and to talk. I sure wish we still had our round-the-clock, round-the-world crew in place. But during my own waking hours, I’ll be here and checking in, OK? East coast shift firmly in place! And in the meantime, please take as good care of your own self as you can.

Many more hugs coming your way.

Kathy,

I am so sorry to hear about your mom but glad she was able to go in peace with minimal suffering. My prayers are with your and yours. I understand how the death of a loved one during this time of year is especially difficult.

Hugs,
Leslie

Oh Kathy,
I am so incredibly sorry!!!! My heart is with you!!!!
Terry

Thank you ladies. It's really tough now, especially right before the holidays. There is so much to do and things keep surfacing that I hadn't thought of before. My folks have lived with me for many years, so my mom is everywhere in my house. That's both comforting and extremely sad at the same time. I still have my dad who is 88. They were married 67 years. I have been trying to keep him from crumbling, which is understandably a huge job. I'm extremely overwhelmed. It will get easier in time if I'm still sain by then. Right now, two days before Christmas, it all Sucks!!! Now, that's a Grinch for you!

Most of us have suffered the lost of a loved one, whether human or fur. Sometimes its not easy to see joy in the holidays. I feel that way every year when the holidays come . But if we just take a few minutes and think about what we still have, than one can be grateful for those things . They too will not be here forever. Merry Christmas my dear friends .

Oh Dawn, it’s so good to see you back here and thank you so much for your Christmas wishes. Amidst the sorrows we share on this thread, that’s one of the great joys — seeing dear familiar faces reappearing during the holidays. It’s wonderful to hear from you, and I’m sending you my own best wishes for a new year that’s filled with fresh opportunities for new life and even perhaps new love. Thank you so much for stopping by!

Marianne

Hey Kathy, keeping you in my thoughts and continuing to send hugs flying westward. I know how hard these days (and nights) must be for you. One day at a time. Heck, one hour at a time. Hang in there, girl — we’ve got your back.

Thanks Marianne,

EVERYTHING is really tough right now and there is no end in sight. I'm overwhelmed with responsibilites. So much to take care of. I can't sleep because my brain is on overdrive. I have had no chance to even address my grief and I'm running on fumes. What I'm able to eat, runs right through. On top of everything else, my mom was very religious, so there are funeral preparations and everything that has to do with that.

I know that I will get it all sorted out. Thankfully, I have three weeks off before I need to return to work. That is quite a gift. 2 weeks of winter break, followed by a week of bereavement leave. I need to take two personal days once I return to work to attend my mom's funeral and visit the cemetary. I couldn't get it all taken care of during my break because the holidays push everything back. People need to spend time with their families, as they should.

Thanks for checking on me. I am holding on by my fingernails.

Thank goodness for those three weeks off, indeed! But so much stress packed into every moment has to be so hard. In the dead of one sleepless night last January while my mom was in hospice care, I got up and wrote on an index card in block letters: “YOU’LL GET HELP!” What that meant for me is that as soon as the immediate crisis had passed after her death, I started sessions with a grief therapist. I kept that little card propped next to my bed all during those initial dark January days, kind of as a lifeline. I knew I couldn’t handle things all by myself for long. But I did manage to get everything done that absolutely needed to be done during those first weeks. And then, finally I was able to take some time for myself. Even after a year, I still periodically schedule a therapy session. It remains a process, with no quick and easy relief. But enlisting help *has* been a help.

So this is my wish for you — that there’ll be a resource that you can turn to, as well, once things settle down a bit. I don’t know exactly who or what that may be for you. But you deserve to be helped and supported, and that will be my New Year’s wish for you, Kathy. I wish for help to come your way, just as soon as you’re able to receive it. You shouldn’t have to keep handling things all by yourself, and I’ll be wishing you at least a bit of comfort and peace in the days ahead.

Oh Kathy,

I am so sorry, keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, sending huge and loving hugs.

Well, here it is New Year’s Eve 2019, and it’ll be another quiet evening at home for hubby, Luna, and me. We’re going to watch the Star Wars movies 7 and 8 on TV so that we’ll be all caught up to see the final Episode 9 in the theater. We saw 4, 5 and 6 as they were released; didn’t have as much interest in 1, 2 and 3 and can barely remember them. The original, episode 4, I’ll never forget. Hubby and I were just out of college and living in Los Angeles. We saw a trailer for this weird-looking sci-fi movie, and decided we’d brave the long, long line to see it as it premiered at the grand old Chinese Theater on Hollywood Boulevard. OMG, we couldn’t believe our eyes and ears! We’d never seen anything like it! We were young, and Luke and Leia were young, and what a blockbuster of a movie! I’ll never forget that evening in L.A. Welp, we’re no longer so young. ‘Nuff said, I guess... But we need to finish off the series, and tonight seems like a good time to coast toward the finale.

Somehow I’m drawn to repeat something I posted five years ago on New Year’s Eve. Seems like only yesterday to me, but so many changes in my life since then. Anyway, here’s what I was thinking then, and the same holds true for me tonight. And I send my best wishes to all our K9C family for the new year to come.

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Originally Posted by labblab

"Auld Lang Syne"...

For the sake of old times.

I don't know all the lyrics, but I surely do hum along with the music each and every New Year's Eve -- with a lump in my throat and a tear in my eye. What a privilege to have shared my life with my loved ones, human and four-legged, physically still present or here with me in spirit alone.

Cheers to the old times, and Cheers to the new times that still await us. May the New Year bring a measure of comfort and peace to all our family.

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Kathy, I am so sorry to read the news of your Mom. I was on yesterday quickly to send greetings and totally missed this thread about your Mom. My deepest condolences and sympathy for you and your Dad especially this time of year. Sometimes we wonder just how much more we can take, yet somehow we hang in there, undoubtedly at times just barely, but we do. The strength that we plod on with blows your mind at times yet we continue on. Please know that you are in my thoughts for sure. I am heading to a funeral tomorrow of a very dear lady that I had known all my life. She passed away December 19th but they waited till all the hoopla of the holidays was over before honouring her at her "homecoming" tomorrow. I will be thinking of you and your family especially tomorrow. You can do this.... and like Marianne said... "we got your back."

My youngest grandson, 14, has been with me this week and that has brought a depth of joy that otherwise would not have been present this time of year. We both wanted the Disney+ channel added to our streaming services so I got it and we have been watching the Star Wars movies in chronological order for the last couple of days. It will be odd to go back in time and see episode 4, 5, and 6 but we almost there! I made the comment that I had forgotten how wonderful the graphics were when we watched episode 1 and he just roared with laughter over the fact that I thought THOSE were great graphics! :D "Just wait, Mimi! You will be REALLY amazed!" :D And I probably will be. LOL It's been fun to have him with me to share these movies and talk about what great imagination it took to create the scenes, props, costumes and effects.

A few of you will remember when I told about my Christmas tree and all the ornaments my daughter and I collected over the decades. They are each a priceless treasure to me but my family is not a very sentimental bunch and I know all these treasures will end up in the dumb when I am gone. So this year I tried to get the boys to come pick out the ones they wanted to keep. The oldest, 18, is much too busy for such nonsense, LOL, so he has left his choices to me. But the youngest has been selecting which ones he wants to have for his own tree some day and I have been carefully dividing and packing these treasures up for him and his brother. There will be a some "ordinary" ones left to put on a much, much smaller tree should I decide I want to in the future but this will be the last year I put all those treasures on a tree. It is bittersweet to say the least. I admit, some of the wrappings and boxes have gotten a bit soggy with tears in the process. But I pray my boys will one day unwrap and unbox them and remember with fondness when they saw them sparkling on my trees thru the years and find a bit of the joy in them they brought me and their mom, delicate reminders of two people who loved them more than anything else in this world.

As I grow older I realize more and more the old adage that we can't go home again is so very true. Not only about our childhood but about every moment that comes. It is here once and once only so we need to make the most of each that we can. So, "for the sake of old times" and the new times to come, I wish each and everyone a new year filled with priceless blessings beyond counting,

Dearest Leslie, I will never forget reading your story about Gia and the ornaments on your glass tree. I will continue to picture your tree in my own mind during each Christmas to come. You are so right about treasuring each moment as it is granted to us. Sadly, we can’t ever, ever truly go back in time. But during a very few special moments in my life, I’ve felt as though the past and present have kind of merged into a magical unison. Such rare fleeting moments, but magical and special. Almost as though a memory did regain life for just an instant. Maybe that’s why I hold my memories so dear — not knowing whether I might feel that magic ever again, but hoping. If there truly is such a thing, I wish it to happen for you and for whatever memories you hold most dear. I’m guessing your glass tree may be one of them.

Happy New Year, my friend. Happy. New. Year.

With much love,
Marianne

Happy New Year to all!

I've been passing ornaments on to my son the past few years. He's a huge Disney fan, in fact he is leaving tomorrow morning for a week long visit. I've given him all of my old Disney ones, but he always brings me one back from his trips! I have so many ornaments, but the trees have gotten smaller so I can't put them all up...and I don't have the energy or time anymore. It's turning into more of a memorial tree anyway. Lena's ornaments still go on along with all the dogs, past and still here. I dread putting it up each year, lugging the boxes out of the attic, the mess, going through them and deciding which ones to hang, then lugging the boxes back up to the attic. UGH!

But once it's finished I truly enjoy looking at it. Lena used to love when I would pick her up and let her "help", and she and I would gaze at it for hours! A Facebook memory came up the other day with two pictures, one of Lena looking at me while she sat on the arm of the couch in front of the tree, and the other of Gable with his head on the arm of the couch looking at the tree. They both looked so healthy. A weird coincidence considering they both were diagnosed with Cushing's...one gone and Gable still fighting it.

We toned down the Xmas gatherings this year, too. My sister could only come in the early afternoon as she had to be back home for the four hours in between my mother's caretakers. So we did an early cocktail party for her family, then just our family for the eve, and back again for presents and dinner on Christmas Day....still a lot of work though.

Every year I say I'm going to start earlier and be ready and every year I'm more and more behind!

But next year I am definitely going to be ready! :)