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Allison
05-29-2015, 11:34 AM
My husband and I lost our adopted silky terrier this past Saturday, May 23. Gizmo was blessed in that all of years (except perhaps for his last, due to failing health), were happy ones. Gizmo came from a loving home with a wonderful woman who had to give him up when she went into an assisted living facility. Her daughter then took him in, but Gizmo and her dog did not get along and she feared for Gizmo's safety. This is how we came into his life, and he came into ours. Gizmo was blessed to have lived in three loving homes.

Here is the tribute my husband wrote, which perfectly expresses how I feel.

OUR LAST GOODBYE

On Saturday, Allison and I said goodbye to Gizmo for the second and last time.

The first time we said goodbye to Gizmo was in June of 2013. We started fostering him the previous December with the understanding that we would only be able to keep him until the end of May, when we would leave for our annual trip to visit Allison’s family. But surely someone would adopt him before then! Well, no, it turns out no one really wants an elderly dog with Cushing’s. And so on his last full day with us, we took him and our dog Barnaby for a romp at Pioneer Park, which concluded with ice cream for everyone. The next day he was picked up at our house to be taken to his new foster family. As he was being carried away, he looked back at us with the saddest eyes. And that’s how we ended up taking him back after our trip and adopting him the following January.

Gizmo was a happy-go-lucky dog. He was full of energy, even in his senior years. He loved to rip toys apart. He loved our dog and hated our cat. When there was nothing to do, he would sit and wobble like an excited R2-D2. But shortly after we began fostering him the second time, he injured his back. Although his back legs were completely paralyzed for a while, he eventually regained the ability to walk. Not once did he lose his zest for life.

Only in the past few months had we begun to worry that the second goodbye might be near. Gizmo’s back legs had been growing weaker and weaker, and eventually he lost the ability to walk on his own. His already bad eyesight and bad hearing had gotten worse. He got pancreatitis, and got it again, and again, and again. His zest for life was waning. Finally, he stopped eating entirely. When we started fostering him, he had weighed over twelve pounds. Now he was down to eight. We had talked about spoiling Gizmo when we knew the end was near. But when that time actually came, spoiling him was no longer possible. He couldn’t go on walks. He had almost no energy. He wouldn’t eat anything, no matter how tempting.

But—There had been that first goodbye! We’d spoiled him then! He’d received the goodbye he deserved! How great to have gotten that chance. And how great that the first goodbye didn’t stick.

On his last day, we sat with Gizmo in the backyard. We pet him and held him and told him how much he was loved. It shows how poorly he felt that this dog, who was never a lap dog, laid peacefully in my lap as I read – the first and last time he ever did so.

This second goodbye has hurt so much more than the first. This one is forever.

labblab
05-29-2015, 01:30 PM
Oh Allison, what a sweet and tender tribute. Thank you, and please thank your husband so much, for honoring and sharing Gizmo with us in this way. Reading about the pain of your loss brings tears to us all. But reading about your love and care also enriches us all, and fills our hearts with gratitude for the special connection that binds us all to our beloved companions.

You and your husband and Gizmo are forever part of our family now. We will always be here to greet you, and we will always love to share in any more memories or stories about your lives together.

Always in loving memory of your precious little boy Gizmo ~
Marianne

mytil
05-29-2015, 02:37 PM
What wonderful tribute to your Gizmo!!! Thank you so much sharing this. I second what Marianne said you, your husband and Gizmo are our forever family here.

Please do stay with us.
Terry

Thirsty Frenchy
05-29-2015, 02:52 PM
My comforting thoughts go out to you and your husband, Allison….and Gizmo of course!

molly muffin
05-29-2015, 07:49 PM
What a wonderful tribute to Gizmo. He was loved and he found a happy home and he got the perfect good bye the first time.
The last goodbye is always so heart breaking. We just miss them so much, their larger than life personalities leave a huge hole in our hearts.

Allison
05-29-2015, 08:31 PM
Thank you everyone for your sympathies. My husband and I are going to take a short trip. We need to get away. But after that I'll return to this site. :) You've made me feel very welcome and comforted.

There are many memories of Gizmo that come back everyday to me. Just today, I was vacuuming in our library and noticed the books on the bottom shelves were all pushed in. Funny, how I had gone used to them being that way.

Gizmo always was a little uncoordinated and tended to knock into my books. After the first few months of his being with us, I stopped trying to straighten the books and just left them alone. I suspect they'll stay like this now. A little reminder of our little quirky fellow. ;)

patches123
05-29-2015, 08:37 PM
My heart breaks for you on your loss. Today at 6PM we lost our beloved beagle Patches. She had Cushings for about a year or so but was doing well until this past Wednesday. She became ill with pancreatitis and it happened quite fast. She was 9 1/2 years old and was loved so very deeply. Please know I know and feel your pain.

Gabriel
05-29-2015, 08:41 PM
What a beautiful story.
Sorry for your loss - my dog died this week too.
The waves of emotions may come and go - but the happy memories will always stay with us ;)

Allison
05-29-2015, 09:38 PM
I'm sorry for your loss of Patches. When we got Gizmo, we worried most about his Cushings. Not until recently did we ever think that anything else could cause his death. Hugs.

Allison
05-29-2015, 09:40 PM
I'm sorry for your loss. The director of the rescue whom we got Gizmo through told us today that two of their other adopted dogs died this week too. A lot of sadness going around. :-(


What a beautiful story.
Sorry for your loss - my dog died this week too.
The waves of emotions may come and go - but the happy memories will always stay with us ;)

Gabriel
05-30-2015, 09:46 PM
I'm sorry for your loss. The director of the rescue whom we got Gizmo through told us today that two of their other adopted dogs died this week too. A lot of sadness going around. :-(

Sad for us but they sure are happy to be free from the pain of the physical body - even so I bet they miss us just as much as we do them :)

MiamiThom
06-01-2015, 08:25 AM
What a beautiful tribute and thank you for sharing that. My thoughts go out to you and to all the others who have lost their pets recently (as stated in the thread). Breaks my heart ... Thoughts are with you all.

apollo6
06-09-2015, 12:24 PM
There are no words I can say that will comfort you. God gives us these little angel on loan. And Gizmo will always be in your heart and soul because he was loved. May he know rest in peace.
Sonja,Angel Apollo

Allison
06-14-2015, 08:52 AM
Oh Allison, what a sweet and tender tribute. Thank you, and please thank your husband so much, for honoring and sharing Gizmo with us in this way.

You and your husband and Gizmo are forever part of our family now. We will always be here to greet you, and we will always love to share in any more memories or stories about your lives together.

Always in loving memory of your precious little boy Gizmo ~
Marianne

Thank you for honoring our Gizmo in the K9 Cushings family. I still have not been able to write anything about Gizmo, except to add to my husband's thoughts. In his healthier years, Gizmo brought a wonderful chaos to our lives that is missed.

This past spring, although Gizmo had lost his ability to walk, I suggested a trip to the park. In our three years with him, winter always seemed to take its toll on Gizmo. I thought perhaps the fresh air would do him good.

So, my husband and I took our two dogs for a stroll. Although Gizmo mostly rode in the stroller, we did take him out for short bouts to sit on the grass. Gizmo always loved the fresh air.

We tried to take the dogs for ice-cream but struggled to find a place open that served it. Finally, we did it, but had to eat the ice-cream inside our car. Nonetheless, the dogs seemed to like licking our fingers and cones.

That's the last time we got to treat Gizmo. After that, his pancreatisis attacks became so regular, we had to stick to a restricted diet. I treasure that spring memory.

Allison
06-14-2015, 12:13 PM
What wonderful tribute to your Gizmo!!! Thank you so much sharing this. I second what Marianne said you, your husband and Gizmo are our forever family here.

Please do stay with us.
Terry

I appreciate being invited to post a photo, tribute, and memories of Gizmo. There are members who have been for so much longer than me. I started posting when it was essentially too late for us to help Gizmo further, but I'm grateful for all the condolences. Thank you everyone and I do plan to stay.

Allison
06-14-2015, 12:44 PM
My comforting thoughts go out to you and your husband, Allison….and Gizmo of course!

Thank you for the comforting thoughts. The daughter of the lady who first owned Gizmo came to see Gizmo as he started to decline. When I let her know the news that Gizmo had died, she reassured us it was time. Now Gizmo is with her mom and dad.

Gizmo was such a fighter. The vet staff, as well as my husband and I, would always joke he'd outlive all of us. In the end, despite many good vital signs, Gizmo's body wore out. When we lost him, he seemed at peace.

Allison
06-14-2015, 12:49 PM
What a wonderful tribute to Gizmo. He was loved and he found a happy home and he got the perfect good bye the first time.
The last goodbye is always so heart breaking. We just miss them so much, their larger than life personalities leave a huge hole in our hearts.

At the time when we decided to foster Gizmo, we felt he added a welcome chaos to our lives. Our other two pets were fairly docile and quiet. Gizmo was a bundle of energy, which actually made him more difficult to adopt. Fosters tended to be older, but then would find him too rambuctious to handle. Gizmo loved to trail after my husband, hide his bones, whine when left alone. He was annoying but also endearing, which made us fall for him. In so many ways, he made his presence know. Yes, we miss his larger-than-life personality.

Allison
06-14-2015, 12:56 PM
What a beautiful tribute and thank you for sharing that. My thoughts go out to you and to all the others who have lost their pets recently (as stated in the thread). Breaks my heart ... Thoughts are with you all.

Grief never seems to effect us in the same ways. When I lost my Lucy cat of eight years, all I wanted to do was talk, talk, talk about her. With Gizmo, I feel different. Whenever I start to talk about him, it's like testing a bandaged wound. I keep lifting up the bandage, only to find it still hurts.

On the flip side, I also only seemed to want to talk about Lucy's death. I felt unbearable pain when I recalled any good memories. With Gizmo, although I don't talk much about him, it helps so much to remember all the good times. The last few months there weren't many, but we did have years of his being a quirky and lovable addition to our family, and this is good.

Allison
06-14-2015, 01:03 PM
There are no words I can say that will comfort you. God gives us these little angel on loan. And Gizmo will always be in your heart and soul because he was loved. May he know rest in peace.
Sonja,Angel Apollo

Yes, I do Gizmo was a little angel on loan. In so many ways, the timing was right for him to be with my husband and I. This is part of what gives me comfort. We were there when he needed a family.

The summer we decided to become long-term fosters, Gizmo injured his back. I remember praying that God would heal him and let Gizmo have months of normal living as our dog. God gave Gizmo an entire extra year of health. What a wonderful gift. It hurts that we also had to see him die, but Gizmo was meant to be with us--and that eases our grief.

Allison
06-14-2015, 01:06 PM
In the summer, my husband and I always visit my family in Canada. This year, our plans were up in the air, because we weren't certain of Gizmo's health. When we lost Gizmo, we decided to go ahead with our trip.

Before we left, we gathered all of Gizmo's stuff together but didn't have the heart to deal with it. We'll head back home soon and I'm not really looking forward to putting it away.

Also, I keep thinking about how every morning when he wasn't doing well, I'd get up to take him outside and then sit for a time with him just to keep him company. The house and my mornings will feel empty.

Thank you to everyone for making Gizmo and my family part of your lives. We also have a senior poodle, a wild tortoiseshell cat, and a foster feral. Gizmo will be missed, but we're also looking forward to spoiling the rest of our pets. Hugs to everyone!

Allison
09-20-2015, 12:22 PM
Has anyone ever worried about their other pets getting Cushings? For weeks after Gizmo died, my husband would keep interpreting every dubious action of our other dog as a sign he might get Cushings. If Barnaby wet in the house, no thought was given to the fact he liked to mark his territory. Instead, he was now losing bladder control. If Barnaby didn't eat, no thought was given to the fact he has long-liked to be conjoled. Instead, he was now developing Cushings.

After my mopping the floors multiple times, and Barnaby wearing a belly band for a period, I think we've addressed the bladder issue. As for the food, my husband now sits in a quiet area with Barnaby and reads while Barnaby eats. I think Barnaby has quite enjoyed all the extra attention. The whole experience was an interesting but stressful aftermath.

Allison
09-20-2015, 12:23 PM
Just yesterday my husband and I finally packed away Gizmo's medication and linen. For four months all the medication has stayed on the fridge top and the linen has stayed in a corner in our bedroom. With the recent addition of two cats, we've found ourselves needing the space.

Some of the linen has a lot of sickness attached to it and probably should be tossed, but we don't have the heart to do this. The comforter became his when he started to wet in the house. The pillows and blankets became his when he stopped being able to make it through the night. Of course, the medication has always been his.

The linen now is packed in our closet. We'll save it for the next bed with similar needs. With every pet we lose, it seems to become more and more difficult to part with their belongings. To do so seems to involve too much letting go.

Budsters Mom
09-20-2015, 12:58 PM
Absolutely!:o That is one of my biggest fears because I barely made it through the first time. My life has been scarred forever because of it. After what we've all been through, I think these fears are perfectly normal. You are not alone in this! Tell hubby that it's okay.;)


Has anyone ever worried about their other pets getting Cushings?

molly muffin
09-21-2015, 08:44 PM
I do think that once you've gone through cushings, you are always super aware of anything that happens or the activities of any other pet. The worry just doesn't seem to want to go away.
Crossing fingers though that you never have to deal with it again.

I agree, it is very hard to get rid of those special items that are a part of your loved furbaby. I still had one of my cats toys that he loved and when I got my dog molly, she adopted that toy and carried it around with her for years. Just loved it for some reason.

Allison
11-08-2015, 02:00 PM
Somehow I missed these responses. I'm still trying to figure out how to sort through threads.

Anyway, thanks for the encouragement. My husband still worries about our poodle's appetite, but now at least has the stamina to go through the whole process again of trying different foods.

On my side, I always worry when a cat stops eating or when a cat develop develops a cold. A couple years ago, my Lucy cat lost her appetite, then got diagnosed with heart and kidney issues. Within weeks, we lost her. Now I'm super vigilant about cat health!


Absolutely!:o That is one of my biggest fears because I barely made it through the first time. My life has been scarred forever because of it. After what we've all been through, I think these fears are perfectly normal. You are not alone in this! Tell hubby that it's okay.;)