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Iraklis
04-01-2014, 10:55 PM
I've been listening to this great tune...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxHnRfhDmrk
but it somehow spoke about you baby...
***********

''The darkness in my soul...
Reflected in your eyes of icy blue...

Now I think I know...
What you tried to say to me...
How you suffered for your sanity...
How you tried to set me free...

I did not listen...I did not know how...
But still your love was true...

And when no hope was left in sight...
You left this world as Heroes often do...
But I should have told you Husko...
This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you...''

gatorgirl_bama
04-02-2014, 07:11 AM
That was beautiful...

Donna

Iraklis
04-03-2014, 07:44 AM
I know you can't hear me anymore...but i miss you sooo much...

Please let this nightmare end...and come back...

Iraklis
04-03-2014, 06:59 PM
The day you left i got payed...
I haven't payed the electricity bill...please let this nightmare end so i can take you to the vets...i have the money now baby... ...please...please...please...

apollo6
04-03-2014, 10:34 PM
I am crying reading your thread. I understand only to well the pain, the lose you are going through. You saved Husko only to lose him in sickness. But for a few precious moments in time , you both had joy, happiness and love in your life. And that was worth it. No words can comfort you now.
I lost my sweet Apollo over 1 year and 7 months and I still grieve. Apollo is the first dog I ever had. I got him when he was a puppy, he lived to be 1 month short of 14 years old.
When you love so hard, you fall even harder. I fought two years with Apollo and it sounds like Husko tried for as long as he could.
Finances were tough for me too, but I tried everything. I was told in August 25,2012, that he was dying and I should go home and just comfort him. I too was frustrated and anger with him why he would not eat, could no longer walk and stand. But I think it was because I knew he was losing the battle and I wanted so hard to save him but didn't know what to do. And like you I was anger with the vets. We try so hard and grasp for any bit of hope. I still struggle with guilt, the what if, could have, would have.The day before he died , I asked him if he wanted to go. He died in my arms on Sept 9, 2012 and let out his last sigh. So my dear friend, I understand only to well what you are going through.
The pain was so unbearable , I thought I would die. Four months after his death, something, maybe Apollo guided me in adopting a little rescue dachshund, I named Arial. He has a lot of issues, fears, anxiety, which I am working on. Sometimes I feel guilty, why did I get another dog and then I realize it is not to replace Apollo but to keep him in my life.
These little angels, love , support us unconditionally, are happy just to be with us, and for me he was my best friend, my baby and yes my family. You have come to the right place to heal. We are here for you.
Hugs Sonja and Angel Apollo.

Iraklis
04-04-2014, 02:46 PM
Am I crying because I realize now my love was too little compared to yours Husko?...........

Iraklis
04-05-2014, 07:38 PM
It is so hard to know you would be better off not going the vets in the first place baby.........I should have known better...

When they f@cked up...I should have known better...

When they f@cked up again...I should have known better...

I should have asked for every test possible and not try to save money for future emergencies that seemed to always appear...I should have borrowed money for that...Pride means absolutely nothing once your baby is gone...
F@cking money can be re-payed one way or the other...life can't be relived...

I made so many mistakes...and looking back ,I can go through each mistake one by one...not with a ''what if'' but a definite ''would''...

Our good times and memories only remind me in the end of how much i failed you in your time of need...

I know you can't hear me anymore...and nothing can be changed...
It's only a fools hope to think I may wake up tomorrow and all this will be a silly dream...

Iraklis
04-09-2014, 07:45 AM
I remember the first day I saw you on the internet available for adoption...

Never seen before such a beautiful dog...

Even though I always liked dogs that look un-altered by human breeding and look like wolves, I was scared I wouldn't be able to satisfy a huskys' needs after all the research i did...

I was also checking out 3 other dogs at the time...2 grenendal-mix males and a lab-mix female...
I couldn't decide...

I went back and forth for weeks if not months before deciding to call Sania, the girl who found you...

Months ,if not a year ,before all this ,i wanted to adopt an old blind/deaf chow-mix named Lucky ,we had at the shelter.
But was already reserved by a lady... He looked a lot like the first dog she had in her life...I took care of him until he got adopted...
Lucky has since passed away surrounded by love...

Wish I could say this without any doubt about myself for you baby...
Wish i could be perfect...I should be...just like you!
I miss you!

Iraklis
04-15-2014, 10:29 PM
Last couple days i had a terrible headache...was this what you endured all this time?...Yet you still fought like heroes wish they could!

Wish you could come back and bite hard the hand of the fool that slapped you...

Already more than 30 days have passed...
It all still feels like yesterday and at the same time a couple of lifetimes ago...

Iraklis
04-18-2014, 07:09 PM
I have printed some photos of you this week...

Is this all you are now?...Some photographs and memories which will inevitably fade away with time...?

Please visit me in my dreams...and lets play again...let me pet you while you sleep...let me feed you...watch you pee on trees ignoring all other dogs...feel your fur...step over you while you sleep in awkward places in the house...go to the beach once more...or play with snow......even if it is not real...even if only in my dreams...they too are empty without you.....

Iraklis
04-18-2014, 10:27 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0iyt5aOC-sw

If I tell you
Will you listen?
Will you stay?
Will you be here forever?
Never go away?

Never thought things would change
Hold me tight
Please don't say again
That you have to go

A bitter thought
I had it all
But I just let it go
Hold your silence
It's so violent
Since your gone

All my thoughts are with you forever
Until the day we'll be back together
I will be waiting for you

If I had told you
You would have listened
You had stayed
You would be here forever
Never went away
It would never have been the same
All our time
Would have been in vain
Cause you had to go

The sweetest thought
I had it all
Cause I did let you go
All our moments
Keep me warm
When you're gone

All my thoughts are with you forever
Until the day we'll be back together
I will be waiting for you

Iraklis
04-23-2014, 09:55 PM
40 days and nights today since you went away...

They say the soul stays around for 40 days...
I don't believe in stuff like that...

Your presence will always be felt and missed at the same time...

I wish I could make you proud of me...even half as much as I was ,and always will be ,proud of you!

gatorgirl_bama
04-24-2014, 07:46 AM
He is proud of you...

Iraklis
05-15-2014, 06:23 PM
2 months & 2 days have come and gone...

11th May would have been our 3rd year together...

I don't hear cries anymore...does this mean you have rested?