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apollo6
01-25-2014, 04:25 PM
Dear Apollo
It has taken me a while to write this to you.
I came to this site to save you, I stay a while longer to save me. Every time I read we lost another baby , I cried, and thanked God it was not you. I dreaded when that day would come. Even when we would go to the park, people would say they never saw such a loving bond as was between us. I know you are still with me, because I wear the locket with your hair close to my heart and hold it often.
When you died I stopped breathing. I'm still trying to breath.
Doug said he didn't think he would have been as brave and strong as you were. You tried so hard for me.
I have so much guilt and grief still. You ,not me were the teacher. I never had a dog before and it was you who taught me so much. Because of you I loved animals even more, tried to enjoy the moments, little joys. My vet said you were born an old man. All the vets and techs who took care of you said you were one of the best patients they had, so sweet and loving. August 24,2012, at the vet's when he said you were dying , it would not be long and he prayed I would not have to make that decision for you, he held you so loving in his arms and kissed your precious little head, while Doug and I were crying. Then on Sept 9th, 2012, I felt distressed all the day, decided to go over to Mom's. While she was holding you , you reached out with your head for me, I grabbed you as fast as I could and you let out your last breath. I screamed so loud and broke down.
I went back on my notes and never realized how much you endured. I kept blaming myself for putting you on the Ivermectin, then the Advantage Plus, then so many antibiotics to try so hard to fix you, when I should have been trying to help you. All those drugs, with the TRilostane did not do you any good. And for months telling the vets there is something wrong with your intestines.
My Cushing babies, you were not born with Cushing's. I feel the combination vaccines and so many of the drugs given disrupt your immune system. My sweet Apollo, I try to look at the loving and fun times we had. There were so many. You comforted me, loved me, made me laugh and yes cry and supported me. I would care for you again in a heart beat.
Thank all of you for supporting me and not judging me.
Hugs Sonja and Angel Apollo

apollo6
03-18-2014, 07:11 PM
Having a hard time lately. Didn't know if I should write. Yesterday I opened a drawer and pulled out your file,with all the notes, reports,etc. I thought I could throw them away, but my little Angel,Apollo, all the pain came flooding back,the constant tests,the drugs,the vet visits,what you went through and I broke down,put everything back. Then I throw away an unopened special shampoo I had bought for you skin infection. Maybe it was just too much for me to handle. Not today,when I am ready. I miss you so much my little man. I am still broken. 1 year 7 months, I can not believe it. I am still grieving.
Zoe's lose has effected more than I realize. She was our little warrior fighting on for all of us.
You brought me so much love,support,licked my tears when ever I was sad,looked into my soul so often. Our bond will never break. When my time comes I will have my ashes and yours set free together .
Love you
Sonja

addy
03-19-2014, 06:41 AM
Love you Sonja. Seding many hugs to you and know that I care very deeply.

apollo6
03-24-2014, 01:11 PM
Baby boy,tried to light a candle for you today. I am still struggling with your lose. God ,I miss you so much. I try to have a little humor feeling you are looking down from heaven watching me. But I still want you back. I prayed every day for a miracle your last month,tried every ointment on your skin infection,worried so much about the intestinal issues. Why didn't the vets address the stomach issues. Baby boy, it is 1 year,7 months and I am still struggling with guilt.Why couldn't I save you. Your last few days,I was angry,frustrated ,feeling so helpless,knowing we lost the battle,holding onto every second I had with you,crying. I was trying to get food and water down you,when I should have been comforting you. In your last few seconds you reached your head out to me and I held you as you let out a sigh.I need to believe this was your way of showing me ,I love you Mom. Baby you were my world. I am struggling with your little brother the total opposite of you. You calmed me, I have to
ease Arial's fears and anxiety. He gets these anxiety attaches out of no where and I try to comfort him. You were one of a kind,regal,loving,stubborn,smart,brave,courageous. Missing you,my love.
Your mom
Sonja

addy
03-24-2014, 07:18 PM
(((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))0

apollo6
03-27-2014, 11:37 PM
Baby Boy
Played your favorite music box the other day, hoping I could feel your presence. Such a little dog , was my best friend, companion.
Today a humming bird starting making a nest on the wind chime, you and I looked at in the morning in the spring. My angel is it a sign from you saying, Mom , I am doing fine? It has been over 1 year and 7 months and I still can not bring myself to throw many of your things away. Not today. Why would I not expect this grief to linger still when you were such a big part of my life. Every once in awhile it comes out of no where. I tell your daddy when it hits, I am having an Apollo day.
Good night my angel.
Hugs Mom

apollo6
04-02-2014, 12:40 PM
I miss you so much. 1year 8 months. I will always keep you in my heart and soul. I still am struggling with guilt,the what if,could have,should have. So many loses on the forum lately,saddens me even more. I still have not been able to throw some of your things away. The nights are the worst. Forgive me baby. The one comfort is the picture of you August 18'2012. You looked right into my eyes and it seemed like you were still enjoying life. Baby there are days I struggle and just say,I am having an Apollo day. I am looking at a picture of you as a baby,such joy such love. Even right to end you were beautiful to me.
Love mommy

addy
04-02-2014, 07:23 PM
Im here with you Sonja, you are not alone. I care.

apollo6
04-07-2014, 09:59 PM
Dear Apollo
It has been one year 7 months. I miss you every day. We talk about you at the park, how regal, proud, and smart you were. My angel , I struggle still with guilt, how I feel I let you down, the last month was hard on you. You tried so hard while your body was failing you. The love so strong. The vet said you were not in pain the last month. But deep inside I think you were and I should have done something. God do I love and miss you.
My little angel
love your Mommy

Trese
04-08-2014, 01:45 AM
Dear Sonja.
I have read your posts and after losing my little Bondo on February 18th, the pain is so fresh and so heart-breaking.....I feel your pain, also.

You sound like you and Apollo were so close and it takes a brave person to let our little ones go. I am sure you did everything you could do to make his last days here with you peaceful and calm. I find great comfort in the poem...THE RAINBOW BRIDGE. I can just picture my Bondo in a nice green meadow with the sun on his belly, fresh water for him and all sorts of good food. I KNOW he will be waiting for me and that gives me great comfort. It is funny that people say....oh, you can get another puppy but, I know, it will not be the same as Bondo. Will it be different????? Yes. We have not made that decision yet but I know we will get another doggy as we are dog people.

What the new little one will be to us, I don't know. I read other people's posts, I read cards people have sent to me, I know it was his time to go but the bottom line is.......I just want him back.

I hope all the good times with Apollo fill your head and make your heart not hurt as much. night to you.

apollo6
04-12-2014, 01:19 PM
Apollo, Mommy misses you so much. Saturdays, and nights are the hardest. We had whip cream Saturdays,you'd sit on my lap, every night I gave a little apple before we went to bed. Everyone said you had such big soulful eyes. Why couldn't I save you. You loved when I would lay on the couch,you would lye on my stomach,just look at me and let out a sigh.
I struggle with overwhelming guilt at time. Why couldn't I save you. This horrible disease ravished your beautiful body. Seeing you fight so hard ,so much courage. I wish you could have told me what you were going through. It has been 1 year 8 months almost two years and I realize I will always miss you. Someday we will be together in heaven.
But like Addy and sweet Zoe, we had so many beautiful years, love ,joy, fun and yes the sadness. But I need to remember how I was blessed for almost 14 years with having you in my life. As my vet said, an old soul in a young body. You were my teacher.

Such a little dog took such a big piece of me when he died. My regal,proud,stubborn,smart,loving,beautiful little boy.
Love your mommy

apollo6
04-17-2014, 12:11 PM
My little Angel it is 1 year 8 months since you passed and I grieve you every day. I miss you every day. The grief hits me out of no where and I think about the beautiful life,joy,love,courage ,support,laughter you gave me. But I want you back. One more lick, one more hug.
I know you orchestrated me adopting Arial,and he has helped me with my grief. You were so calm,proud,brave. You endured so much the last year,fought so hard and I could not save you. It still haunts me about putting you on the poisons-ivermectin,the strongest dosage of Advantage to fight the mange and the skin infections when they were making you more sick.I kept asking about your intentional issues,why didn't the vets listen to me. I had to ask for the ultra sound to find out after one month about the lesions maybe being cancer and reading that the poison they told me to give you may have caused it. Forgive baby!! Thyroid medications, being told to take you off the Trilostane to increase your cortisol to fight the infections, the muscle wasting,the intentional lesions. oh God why did you have to suffer. I cry when I read about other fur balls going through this awful disease, why don't they find a cure?
I still feel it is the vaccines,the medicines which have steroids in them and the prednisone they give that causes Cushing's,but it is such a complicated disease,who knows.
Mommy misses you every day. I cry a little less, but the lose will always be there. You blessed me with your life,love,joy. Always in my heart.
Love Mommy

apollo6
04-18-2014, 10:47 PM
My sweet angel, I am lost without you. You kept me going so many times. What am I supposed to do without you. You were my rock, my foundation now I feel so lost. Life just gets harder.
Love your Mommy
If love could have kept you alive you would still be here.
my Angel warrior.

addy
04-19-2014, 06:36 PM
I think I want to picture Mary Beth's Ali and Zoe running after Apollo in beautiful green meadows and the three of the them having a grand old time together, hanging out waiting for us to one day arrive and be reunited. What a grand party that will be dear Sonja.:)

I think the stages of our lives makes the losses harder and the pain last longer. I think our aging moms make us face our own aging and losses and potential losses seem to be swimming all around us.

So here I am dearest first friend to hold you close, to tell you how much I care and to wipe away your tears after we both have a good cry together.

Never to be forgotton Sonja, always here with us, I clutch my locket to my heart as I pause while typing this and feel your presence and Zoe's and Apollo's too.:):):):)

I hope they get really big Easter Baskets in Heaven:D:D:D:D:D

apollo6
04-21-2014, 01:35 PM
Thank you,:p smiling picturing the three of them running free, having fun,lapping up all the good treats, snuggling together and what a party we all will have in heaven. And yes it is hard seeing our mothers age before us,realizing every moment we have with them is precious.
Just like with Zoe and Apollo,knowing time was running out for them and feeling so helpless to help.
My sister warrior to our Angel warriors,we love and miss you.
Sonja

apollo6
05-06-2014, 12:44 PM
My Apollo,almost two years missing you everyday. I told Daddy the last vacation and fun I had was almost 10 years ago with you and Karma at Monterey,Ca. We laughed and had so much fun with you.
Daddy said he could not go back there yet because the memories would make him cry.
I feel I medicated you to death, with all the medications that were supposed to help.
Why hasn't the medical field come up with a cure and prevention of Cushing's
You endured so much the last year. My Angel always in my thoughts
Love Mommy

apollo6
05-21-2014, 12:17 PM
My Little Boy always in my Heart,always on my mind. Almost two years and still wishing I could have you back. You are every where.
I still feel that I let you down. I love you so much.
Mom ,my little Angel

addy
05-22-2014, 07:26 PM
gentle hugs my tears fall with yours, oh how to lose the feeling we let them down, oh how to have them both even for just a moment.

dear friend, we always remember, we always love, we never forget

apollo6
05-25-2014, 01:41 PM
My little boy it is almost two years since you passed and I will always have what I call Apollo days,when I miss you so much and the tears just flow. Like Addy. How could 10 lbs. of fur impact my life the way you did. I love Arial, but it is not the deep love I have for you. Daddy and I talked about the day by Seaport Village how you ran so fast after Karma no one could believe that two dachies could run so fast. You were having so much fun, you both looked like two little race horses. I wished I had filmed you. I pray every day to feel your presence. Some days I can talk about the joy you gave me. Then the darkness comes in-the cushing- and I question all the medications you we're put on. I could not stop the muscle wasting,the skin infection got so big, the intestinal problems that I kept on questioning. My little Angel, to hold you one more time, to kiss your sweet face,only in my dreams. The guilt comes out of no where, the what if? the could of,would have,trying to accept. I am blessed with having had you in my life. Love always
Always on my mind,always in my heart.
Your Mom Sonja

apollo6
05-30-2014, 12:42 PM
My little Angel, having one of those Apollo days. Reading what Addy wrote and others helps. Almost two years and I still cry for you. We tried so hard ,you and me to beat this awful disease,but it got you at the end. I would fight for you all over again without hesitation .
Like Zoe. , Apollo you and I would dance,have our Saturday morning whip cream. You were so smart,so sweet,everyone liked you, very stingy with your kisses, did not want to go for walks,you bossed me around,if I was sad,you would lick my tears, demand belly rubs, every night you would wait for your bedtime snack, apples . I miss you so much. I don't know why but I read a few pages of before and when you died. You were such a part of me,you gave me courage to fly again when I for awhile was afraid too. I would reach down and touch you to reassure me. I held you often. You had a mind of your own. I just loved looking at your beautiful face. This disease sucked the life out of us. But during all of it I and you had some moments of joy, and always love. I still have a lot of guilt, like I could have saved you. I keep blaming my self for picking on the skin infections, I wanted the poison out of you. I know the vet said you lived longer because of me than another owner would not have done as much for you. I still remember when he held you lovingly in his arms and said what a sweet beautiful soul you are ,one of a kind,special. You taught me so much. I needed to get this out. I don't cry as much and can talk about the fun,loving times and joy you gave me. You were the first dog I ever had. You taught me well. My holistic vet,said you were born an old soul. Mommies little Angel.
Love always
It will take me a lifetime to heal,I will always miss you.

apollo6
06-17-2014, 03:19 PM
My little angel, it will be almost two years in a few months since you passed. Now all I have is memories. I had to throw a few of your things the other day because they broke. I had myself I good cry.
I realize now, there are always going to be moments of grief over losing you. But now I have moments of love and joy when I remember and look at your pictures. When ever I play your video the tears just stream down my face. You are buried so deep in my heart. Mommies little Angel.
Love Mom
Sonja

apollo6
07-04-2014, 01:07 PM
Sweet Apollo
Today is July 4th, you always wore your USA red cap and scarf. It made people smile. Love you with all my heart.
Feel gun shy about taking Arial next week for a check up. After everything you endured it is hard for me to trust the vet. Watch over your little brother. Missing you every day.
Love your Mommy

addy
07-04-2014, 03:26 PM
big hugs, Sonja

apollo6
07-19-2014, 02:33 PM
My baby boy, almost two years since you passed and the tears just flow.
I tried to throw out some of your medical records and notes, I started crying so hard that I could not do it. Mom and Doug said then don't ,when and if you are ready then do it. I started reading about your last few months and it all came back. I will always miss you, always carry you in my heart. The grief will come and go. And that is just the way it is. Saturday mornings seem to catch me off guard ,our special time together.
Missing my boy
Love your Mom Sonja

Budsters Mom
07-20-2014, 02:49 AM
AW Sonja, we understand. We really do. :o No need to get rid of anything until you are sure you're ready.

Rosie has all of Buddy's things, except for two. His stuffed frog/friend who he slept with and kept near since puppyhood and his cuddle blanket. He would not climb into his nest bed unless that blanket was there. When it was washed, he'd wait for it. His frog and blanket have been on the foot of my bed (by the wall) since Buddy passed. I kept them for me. When I'm feeling particularly sad during the night, it's soothing to know that they are there to grab hold of. They have been there for over a year now and will stay as long as I need them. Seeing Rosie play with Buddy's toys and wear his little shirts makes me smile. It helps me feel like he's still hanging around somewhere.

If hanging on to Apollo's things help to soothe you, by all means keep them.;)

Please don't feel you need to leave the forum to make room for others. There is plenty of room and love to go around for all. If you are feeling that moving on will help you heal, then please do what's best for you. Know that we'll be here whenever you want to drop in to visit. We we always hold you and your sweet babies in our hearts.

Huge hugs,

Kathy

apollo6
08-01-2014, 01:12 PM
Today is Mommys birthday. You are not here. A friend said some wise words to me "Don't be sorry for the things you don't have. Be happy you had them at all."
I was so blessed to have you in my life. I did not know how hard it would be without you. I cried the other day saying I don't love Arial the way I loved you. No more sneaking you into church, Saturday whip cream day. I am crying again. In a month it will be 2 years since you died,I still cry,you were bigger than life. My little man.
Love Mommy.

Budsters Mom
08-01-2014, 05:36 PM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SONJA! :p:p:p Yes, we all miss our fur angels, particularly around special events such as a birthday. For today, let us celebrate you!;):p

Big birthday hugs,
Kathy

addy
08-04-2014, 01:13 PM
Oh Sonja, I missed your birthday. I just know Apollo and Zoe and the whole gang through a party in your honor.

Big hugs, I know how you feel trying to celebrate without Apollo.

molly muffin
08-04-2014, 02:21 PM
Oh I missed it too. Happy belated birthday Sonja. I know you have a bunch of angels watching over you.

Hugs
Sharlene and Molly muffin

apollo6
08-05-2014, 02:33 PM
thank you all. You all have enough going on in your lives.
Thank you for the wishes.
Love you all.:p
Sonja

Budsters Mom
08-05-2014, 05:12 PM
I don't have anything going on in my life. Your birthday was the highlight of my day! lol ;):D

addy
08-06-2014, 08:10 AM
The highlight of my day was sinusitis:rolleyes::rolleyes:

Aww Sonja, you don't have to love Ariel the way you loved Apollo. Bonds form differently. Each individual is unique and no relationship with human or dog is ever the same. It is ok, sweetie, really.

Budsters Mom
09-06-2014, 11:39 PM
Hi Sonja,

Sending you and Ariel lots of hugs and love as you approach your two year mark. xxxxoooo

apollo6
09-09-2014, 01:49 PM
September 9,2014
September 9,2012, the day I lost a part of myself, my heart, my soul.
Daddy gave you to me on Christmas 1998, you were born October 12,1998.
Little did I know the joy, love, companionship, support, and laughter you would enrich my life with. We never had children. So I guess you were my little boy. I loved you so much. Went overboard with beds, toys, treats, and clothes for you.
My world started to unravel on May 2010, when you were diagnosed with Cushing's disease. In my heart I felt what happened to you in the emergency ward in February, the drugs, etc. caused it. I was so desperate to save you.
You fought long and hard. We both adapted to the changes and limitations. I was blessed to take care of you until the end. August 25, 2012, the vet said you were dying and to take you home to die.
You made sure I was holding you when you let out your last breath. I still struggle with the guilt how the skin infection spread and kept picking on it obsessed with getting it out of you. Forgive me I was so mad at times that you would no longer eat, because I did not want to accept that you were dying. I tried everything hoping for a miracle. But there were no miracles.
You were so beautiful right up to the end. One month short of 14 years old. It wasn't enough time. But I know I was more fortunate than others. Mommy's little angel. Apollo
Always in my heart ,always in my soul.
When it is my time, I want my ashes spread with yours so we can be together again. My little Angel



MY APOLLO
There's something missing in my home,
I feel it day and night, I know it will take time and strength before things feel quite right.
But just for now, I need to mourn, My heart -- it needs to mend.
Though some may say, "It's just a pet," I know I've lost a friend.
You've brought such laughter to my home, and richness to my days.
A constant friend through joy or loss with gentle, loving ways.
Companion, friend, and confidante, A friend I won't forget.
You'll live forever in my heart, My sweet, APOLLO.

Budsters Mom
09-09-2014, 03:00 PM
((((((((hugs))))))))

These anniversaries are the pits! Surrounding you with love dear Sonja.

addy
09-09-2014, 08:02 PM
love you Sonja. sorry it is so dang hard. we loved them so.

molly muffin
09-09-2014, 09:39 PM
Big hugs Sonja.

Sharlene and Molly muffin

apollo6
09-21-2014, 10:25 PM
Don't know why, but I think you wanted me to talk to you today. Baby I wish you good night every day. Over two years and the pain is still there. Baby miss you always. Next month is you birthday, and I will light a candle for you. Still and will always miss you, my regal, strong,loving,stubborn little boy. You hated having a bath,would turn your back to me thinking I would ignore you. You had some pretty good hiding places when it was time for a bath. My beautiful little man right up to the end. Still question myself if I did everything I could for you. Now take good care of Zoe.
Mummy's little angel
No matter how long you would have lived it would never be long enough for me. Watch over and guide your little brother Ariel. He has many fears to overcome.

apollo6
10-12-2014, 01:26 PM
Happy Birthday, my sweet little boy, Mommy's little angel.
Default Re: Apollo fought with grace and dignity to the end, My little angel warrior
Thank you all. Today is your birthday, Mommy's little angel. I light a candle in honor of your beautiful life. I don't come to the forum that much anymore.
I went to see an animal communicator about the guilt I have about your illness and Ariel's anxiety. She said you were content with your life and happy about it. You accepted that you were dying and started preparing your soul for passing. I was frantic trying to save your body. There was so much love and a strong bond between us. When you died, in my arms you had a peaceful and joyful pacing seeing the light and being assisted to pass. Your soul is at peace and you want me to go on with my life and find happiness. You are aware of Ariel and said you don't want to help Ariel because you did your job,now it is Ariel's turn to help me. I laugh about that because you would say that. To know you were happy in your life with me and that you were at peace with your pacing in my arms is comforting. Like Addy said, about our sweet Zoe,it is time for me to be there more for Ariel, to encourage him, build up his confidence,trust ,over come is fears about the world.
Apollo,you were my teacher and now I need to be Ariel's teacher,to teach him how to be confident,proud,and how to play. Mommy' little Angel. Mommy loves Apollo
Sonja
P.s. I know Zoe,Woody,Squirt ,,Hamish,Mira,Tia,and so many others will be celebrating with you today.
Last edited by apollo6; Today at 12:24 PM.

scoora
10-13-2014, 10:01 AM
Happy Birthday Apollo!
Hope you had a wonderful day celebrating!

apollo6
10-29-2014, 12:41 PM
My sweet boy,missing you,and wishing I could hold you again. I have pictures of you everywhere. I keep on thinking about leaving the forum. But this is where Ican talk about you. It brings back,joy, pain,and sorrow. Thinking how much you endured at the end. So many little things that just you and I did, miss you so much,over two years.
Ariel is such the opposite of you, so much fear and anxiety to overcome. When you were dying I was dealing with the house fire,now with Ariel,I am dealing with closing the business,selling the building,and Doug's,health issues:heart and lung disease, and helping Mom. I just could use a break. I did go to a yoga class the other day to help calm me. You don't know what an inpack you had on my life,my little warrior.
Sonja

jas77450
11-01-2014, 09:01 PM
Happy belated birthday Apollo!!!Run free!

apollo6
11-12-2014, 10:06 PM
Thank you for the birthday wishes.
I can not believe over two years and I still feel like I should have done more, been more attuned to what was happening to you. Baby boy,I miss you ever day. This sums it
"We Remember Them....
In the rising of the sun and in it's going down...
In the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter....
In the rustling of leaves and in the beauty of autumn...
In the beginning of the year and when it's ends.....
When we are weary and in need of strength....
When we are lost and sick at heart.....
When we have joys we yearn to share....
So long as we live,they too shall live for they are part of us.
We Remeber them!
Love my sweet boy
Sonja

addy
11-13-2014, 01:30 PM
love and hugs Sonja.

Missing Apollo and Zoe too. Holidays are going to be hard.

jas77450
11-15-2014, 12:56 AM
That was so sweet Sonja, take care of yourself too, a lot going on. I've read your entire thread, you were a wonderful mom to Apollo and did all you could. That said,we still feel like it's never enough because we love them so much.
Hugs to you and pats for Apollo!

addy
11-21-2014, 07:08 PM
Dear Sweet Apollo- try to send Mom a hummingbird for the holidays or some reminder of your presence. She needs that.

And don't let Zoe do anything goofy like wanting fancy new digs for the two of you.

Thinking of you and Apollo, Sonja with much love.

apollo6
11-21-2014, 09:24 PM
Thank you all. Will post tomorrow. Zoe if you want fancy digs you make sure Apollo gets it for you little princess.
Sonja

apollo6
11-26-2014, 05:05 PM
This is the best way to describe the stages of grief I have my baby boy. This is from a magazine article :
Post Grief:
MISSING HIM AGAIN
He has been gone for two years and I'm OK he does not live in my head anymore he lives in my heart yet sometimes
unexpectedly I feel I am back to just before he died
I miss him I'm hurting I feel disoriented desperately wishing him
back I remember all that I have lost that I will never have again
it has been over two years since he died but it feels like yesterday.

SOMETHING HAS CHANGED.
Something has changed I used to dread to coming home in the evening to silent, empty rooms feeling so terribly alone
tonight for the first time I looked forward to some quiet time
in my quiet home after a busy day sitting down to read my mail
check my computer sitting down with a book sitting alone
without feeling lonely something has changed.

HEALING
When one is in the middle of pain it is impossible to envisage
a time without it yet that time comes unexpectedly surprising me
by its suddenness from the agonizingly slow healing to a world
of brighter colors to a lighter step to being whole again there is an old saying that when someone you love dies, the main difference is that he or she is no longer outside of you, he or she is inside
I have incorporated him I am poorer for the lack of his physical presence but I am richer by his continuing to exist in me.
by Natasha Josefowitz. Ph.d. -LA JOLLA VILLAGE NEWS.
to you my little angel
always in my heart
love Sonja

addy
12-02-2014, 07:31 PM
That was beautiful dear sister in battle, thank you for sharing it.

Thinking of you and I know our Apollo and Zoe are together, watching over us and Ariel and Koko.

Remember then with joy not just tears.

Love you

milosmom
12-03-2014, 07:35 PM
just catching up around here ladies...i know our pups are all healthy cheerful running and playing on the other side of the rainbow...we will all be together with our furbabies again......this is what keeps me going...xoxox to all patty (milo)meka xoxox

apollo6
12-13-2014, 02:04 PM
It is official, the Pope has confirmed what we already know:our fur babies will be waiting in heaven to greet us.:):p
Sonja and Apollo

addy
12-14-2014, 08:38 AM
This pope seems to be a wise man. Must be a dog lover;););):)

Budsters Mom
12-15-2014, 03:15 PM
I'm thrilled that there is finally a pope brave enough to overrule previous doctrine to publicly announce that our pets go to heaven. It's not like we didn't know it already, but this is still BIG!!! :p I think I'll send him my list. There a several more changes I'd like him to make.;):D

apollo6
12-23-2014, 12:13 AM
My sweet angel, over 2 years and I will always miss my little boy. Christmas was so much fun with you. You would get so excited that not only would you open your presents but everyone else's if you could. You'd wear your Christmas outfit with your green hat which would make people smile. My sweet boy always in my heart. Miss you
Love your Mommy
Sonja

Budsters Mom
12-23-2014, 12:23 AM
((((((hugs))))))

I'm sure our fur Angels have many beautiful Christmas trees that they're all whizzed on, no doubt.:D They can eat all the treats they want and tear open presents to their hearts delight.

Yes Sonja, we miss them terribly.:o Know that your sweet boy is always with you. He fills a special place in your heart always.

Hugs,

apollo6
12-27-2014, 01:45 PM
My little angel,my little boy. Christmas is not the same without you.
You would get so excited. Tear open your present and any other one near you. Miss you my baby boy. You brought so much joy, laughter and love to my life.
Your sister,Karma is 15 1/2 now. Your little brother Ariel is still nervous and does not like it when I am out of his sight.
At Christmas you and Karma would wear your coats and knitted hats:you red,Karma ,green. People would come up smile and make pictures of the two of you. My little celebrity.
I miss every day. You are a part of me.
Love you your Mommy
Sonja

apollo6
01-12-2015, 07:13 PM
My little angel over two years since you left. I will always miss,love, and have you in my heart. I still struggle trying to throw some of your old things away,haven't done so. Mom and I were talking about what a beautiful soul you are. Every time one of us sees a humming bird,we feel it is a sign for you. Like Zoe you fought so hard and strong for me. It pains me to think what you had to endure. I still struggle if I should leave the forum or not. I admire Addy ,Kathy and Sharlene for still helping others. Just don't know what to say. Yet I have all this knowledge. ?
Love you baby boy,always in my heart.
Sonja

Budsters Mom
01-12-2015, 09:52 PM
AWWW Sonja, these anniversaries suck big time! (((((Hugs)))))

My dear, you do know what to say to help others. You have supported me through it all and continue to do so. Yes, you do have plenty of knowledge to share. However, the posts I have appreciated the most from you are the ones where you speak from your heart. :p I think you'll know when it's time to move on. There's no hurry. We love that you'll still around. :p

Yes, sweet Apollo. You did fight long and hard. Now you're living in paradise with the others. No more pain. No more struggling. Lots of friends to romp and play. We miss you and you little red stroller, but we know you're in a better place right now. You will always be loved and remembered here. xxxxxooooo

addy
01-13-2015, 08:42 AM
Hugs sweet sister, this time of year can be a roller coaster. I am so happy you have Ariel and that he truly needs you. He must love you so much,Sonja.

Last I heard, Buddy was hunting for a lizard to bring to the dinner party Zoe and Apollo were having. Zoe got her way and they traded in their red stroller for a new one. Not that they need it, they just think they look good in it:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

Sonja, I love you dearly, my first friend. As for the forum,one day at a time and you know, as Kathy said, you do help people, more than you know. :):):)

apollo6
01-14-2015, 12:26 PM
Thank you both. Just yesterday I was on the floor and then I remembered how Apollo would sit on my back calf's. Just started crying and Ariel came over and licked my tears.
Makes me smile thinking of Buddy , Zoe and Apollo doing fun things.
I don't blame Zoe for wanting a new stroller, lets think big how about a Mercedes or a Bentley. :D
Maybe Buddy is trying to win Zoe over. I know Apollo will but up a big fight to keep Zoe, our princess.
Sonja

spdd
01-15-2015, 08:51 AM
I debated if I would leave, and everytime I come on here I start a blubbering fest, but I do want to know how others are doing. It keeps me too, although painful, somehow connected to my boy. I don't have much to offer others, but I'm still concerned for their pups. Hope you don't leave. Your thread was one of the first I read.

apollo6
01-17-2015, 01:18 PM
Thank you so much Juli.
Apollo for some reason you wanted me to go on the forum today. I had no intention of doing so. I just started crying for no reason. Saturday's were our whip cream mornings watching the humming bird nest in the patio. I say goodnight to you ever night. You were everything to me,my best friend,confidant ,my support through so many things in my life,my little boy, Mommy's little angel.
Love Angel

Budsters Mom
01-17-2015, 02:12 PM
((((((((((hugs))))))))))

apollo6
02-20-2015, 10:39 PM
My little Angel
Today, I throw away, a wrap Mom made you to keep you cool in the summer. It never fit and was to heavy for you. Maybe I can think I am throwing away a part of Cushing. I still have all your clothes. Daddy said keep them for now. Over two and a half years and I am learning to live with your loss. But I miss you every day and still struggle with guilt. I need to focus on being blessed with sharing my lift with you for one month short of 14. Always in my heart and soul.
Sonja

addy
02-22-2015, 01:50 AM
I too have everything of Zoe's packed in a trunk. It will be many years before I empty anything from that trunk. baby steps are fine, sweet Sonja and if you wish to keep all of Apollo's things, you can.

I still have my dad's favorite shirt and license plates from his favorite car. Fifteen years later and I would not part with them. You don't have to part with anything if you would rather keep it.

Remembering your regal boy with you.

apollo6
02-22-2015, 02:01 PM
Dear Addy
Our lives are so alike. I still have my Dad's jacket he wore a lot,it was from Austria,our homeland. I would put it on sometimes to feel him. Thank you for your words. I talked to a neighbor yesterday who says she remembers the day Apollo died and knew when she saw me how heartbroken I was. She ached for me. Talked about her one and only cat that she had and still crys about her. She talked about the antics she would get into. She so loved Apollo and says he was sassy. It was nice to talk and remember. Reminds o me of Zoe's spunk. No wonder they are together in heaven. Like Zoe,Apollo will always be in my heart and soul till the day I die. These furballs leave such an enprint on us forever.
Sonja and Angel Apollo . Miss you ,mommy's little angel

apollo6
03-13-2015, 12:21 PM
My sweet baby boy,starting crying last night thinking about how much I miss you. 3 years in September. I talked about you at the park yesterday. You were such a regal little guy. Very,stubborn-would find some great hiding places in the house when it came to bath time. Very fuzzy where you would potty. I miss hearing the petter patter of your feet in the kitchen,the sound of your tags jiggling on your collar. If you hid from me all I had to say was treats and you'd come. And what endeared me so was you loved to listen to this one angel music box. So many memories. I made a video of your sister's Karma's up coming birthday,16. And you ,my little warrior,are in it. At the end is Ariel( the little worrier)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=irW1GMfXSis
Love you miss you every day, think often how much you endured. Always doubt myself,what I did wrong,how I could have helped you more,feeling so helpless during all of it.
Love you forever,always in my heart,always in my mind.

addy
03-13-2015, 06:07 PM
Sweet Sonja, I watched Karma's video the day you posted it and thought how beautiful it was.

I have just been so sick and coughing so hard, I did not tell how much I loved the video, I'm sorry.

apollo6
03-13-2015, 10:02 PM
you have nothing to be sorry about. It is Zoe's time, I have no right to take up time with my stuff.
Sonja and Angel Apollo
I hope you start feeling better.

apollo6
03-24-2015, 09:12 PM
My little warrior,my little angel. Life is harder since you left. I have never been the same since you passed. I will always miss you. I don't think I will ever over come the guilt I feel about what you went through or how I feel I could have done more for you or that I should not have made you go through so much. Ariel helps me a lot. You are always in my heart. I always cry when I view your video. I am struggling with when to leave the forum. It has been almost 3 years since your passing. There I go again with crying. My little angel, I miss you every day,especially at night when it is quiet. We plan on moving in a year. It will be hard since you grow up in this home,but I will take you with me,in my heart.
Love always ,my little boy.

molly muffin
03-24-2015, 09:39 PM
Sonja, sending you big hugs. I wish it wasn't so hard. I don't think we ever Don't miss them.

love

apollo6
04-06-2015, 01:29 PM
Major changes, will start closing the business. Like Addy, I am so exhausted from the last few years, dealing with Apollo's cushing,his death,lossing the house in a fire, moving my mother to another senior apt,down sizing her things, will have to do in a year, now closing the business and every time it takes a little more of my health and energy.
You are always by my side,Angel. And thanks to Addy, I will not throw any of your things away at this time . I also have the stress of dealing with Ariels anxiety. He starts whining and crying for no reason. I have been recommended a trainer who works with shelter and rescue dogs for years. And the first thing she said was we need to get Ariel to feel safe and calm. Apollo I feel you sent Ariel to me because you knew I need him and he needed me. My little angel.
Will be busy working on the business . Thank you all for your love and support.
Sonja,Apollo and little Ariel

Squirt's Mom
04-06-2015, 05:23 PM
Take good care of yourself and that sweet boy. Drop in when you can and let us know how things are going. You're family, ya know. You can really leave. ;)

addy
04-07-2015, 09:02 AM
Dearest Sisiter, I may not be here as much but I think of you a lot.

over the years, you have provided much support and comfort and I thank you for that.

All our struggles take a toll on us but one day we will find Life to be more even keel.

One good thing, who knew I would embrace gray?;)

Love you

apollo6
05-02-2015, 02:37 PM
Dear baby boy,
I can not believe it will be three years,September since your passing and I will always have you in my mind,heart and soul. I miss you so much still and always will. Ther I go with the tears.
It has not been easy,Mom fell again,and I see her becoming more frail, daddy has heart and lung disease,we are putting up the store and will start liquidating the business. And it will all be on me. I would come to you and get strength from your presence and you would lick my tears. And you are not here. Your little brother is the opposite, fearful,unsure and looks to me for reassurance and strength.
My sweet,sweet Angel. Turning another corner in the journey of life,hard to say"I am a senior"
On the fun side,I tried a Microsoft app called "Guess my age" by down loading different pictures of my self . The different pictures showed a range in age from 44 to 70!!! What a ego inflater.
Miss you Mommy's little angel. I am blessed to have had you in my life. Miss you all.
Sonja,Apollo,Ariel

addy
05-18-2015, 08:36 AM
A humming bird came to our yard this morning. Apollo stopped by to say hi and let me know he and Zoe are just fine

Hugs

apollo6
05-20-2015, 02:49 PM
Dear Addy
Thanks for that. Apollo and Zoe will always be with us.
I thought I could throw all of Apollo's medical records away today. The tears just would not stop. I had flashbacks of what he had to endure. Oh my baby boy. Maybe I will just have to do another day.
I don't know why I have so much pain trying to throw it away. Almost 3 years and I still can't do it.
Every know and then I see a butterfly or a humming bird and fell you are saying I 'm okay Mom. We are given these little angel on loan from God and the imprint they leave on our souls is forever.
Daddy is not doing so well, heart and lung disease. I did not think it would be this hard. Mom has health issues I am dealing with also, she fell again 3 weeks ago and I am wondering if she can still live by herself. We need to sell the building and close down the business another big undertaking. And once all that is over, we plan to sell our condo (your home baby boy) , but I take you with me. Like Addy so much at one time.
I realize know, I will always miss you. You were one a million, so strong so regal, you fought so hard for me like Zoe. Love always your Mom
Sonja

Budsters Mom
05-20-2015, 03:32 PM
I haven't been able to get rid of any of Buddy's medical stuff either. I still have his Imunization record tacked up on the bulletin board in the dining area. I have started to take it down several times, but have put it right back up. It is still there now, under Rosie's.

I finally managed to remove his beloved stuff froggy and blanket from my bed. They had remained on the foot of my bed by the wall ever since he flew. However, they are still nearby when I need them.

It has been almost 2 years now since Buddy flew. It is not really any easier for me, just different. There is no time limit or rules regarding grief, dear Sonja. Be gentle with yourself. I don't think we ever really get over losing them. We just learn to move on and live without them until we are reunited again.

If holding on to your precious boy's things help you feel connected to him, keep them. ;)

Hugs,
Kathy

addy
05-27-2015, 08:36 AM
I think keep the records, sweet Sonja. I finally spent two hours sorting through a storage box filled with papers of Zoe's. Hubby took the medical records and shredded them, some I kept, the rest I threw away. You will know when you are ready. Don't plan ahead, just one day you will wake up and say I can do this today.

We are both going through many life changes, it is hard. I'm always with you Sonja.

apollo6
05-28-2015, 01:32 PM
Thank you Kathy and Addy. Like you said hopefully I will get the strength to throw the medical records away. So many transitions to make at this stage of life, closing the business, taking care of my 83 year old mother more and more, realizing we will probably sell our townhouse and move mom down the road. I just get so overwhelmed and tire more than I used to. The aches and pains cause me to not bounce back as quick anymore. And I know it is going to hit me hard when we sell our little place. Apollo grew up in this house,it is his house also.
Love you all.
Sonja,Apollo,and little Ariel
P.s. How is Koko doing and you,Addy.
And Kathy.

molly muffin
05-28-2015, 01:48 PM
I've still got both tasha and tipsy original medical records. They passed many many years ago. Every time I think I really need to get rid of these, I just can't do it. Maybe this year I'll be able to. We'll see. I am not overly worried about it, I don't look through them or anything, they are just there. Weird eh.

So don't sweat it, old paperwork is small stuff, life is the big stuff, how you live and get through the days, the joy of Ariel, those are more important that whats in the cupboard box. :)

hugs Sonja

Budsters Mom
05-28-2015, 10:40 PM
I think sometimes we are pushed too much to move on from the loss of a beloved fur baby. In my opinion, the problem isn't with the people that are grieving. It is with the people who are pushing. There is no rush. No timetable. Do as much as you feel comfortable with and let the rest go for now. That's what I do.;)

Robert
05-29-2015, 04:55 AM
I have tommy and tammys ashes in a spare bedroom with their favourite blanket and tommy has his rabbit - the only toy he played with the last 6 years of his life. I have their records and other bits and pieces that I also don't look at but will never get rid of. I miss both of them every day but boy am I glad they were with me for 14 and 12 years. Two amazing little creatures... Everyone grieves in their own way and there is no wrong or right way and no time limits

apollo6
05-31-2015, 02:01 PM
Dear Sharlene,Robert,Kathy,thank you for sharing with me. Like you all said,I was pleased to have my boy for 14 years. I will always miss him and the grief just pops up every once and awhile. I have a lot of Apollo's things. I kept trying to throw away an old worsen out bed,but I just can't. My husband is very supportive and says don't do it if you can't. The imprint this fur ball has on me is deep.
Love you all
Sonja,Apollo, little Ariel.
This forum has helped,supported me,kept me from falling apart so many times.

apollo6
07-16-2015, 04:19 PM
My sweet Apollo. Today your baby sister, Karma died,at 1p.m. in Daddy's arms. She was 16 years old. She was the last hold we had on you. You both grew up together. Take good care of her. Daddy and I are heartbroken.
Love Mommy

Budsters Mom
07-16-2015, 05:23 PM
They are already together dear Sonja. Apollo knew that Karma was on her way and was waiting at the gate with the others to welcome her.

Fly free sweet Karma, fly free!

I am so sorry for you loss. Surrounding you and hubby with much love and tight hugs.

Kathy

molly muffin
07-16-2015, 06:41 PM
Oh Sonja. I am so sorry. I know you are heart broken. :(. My sincerest condolences on your loss.

labblab
07-17-2015, 04:00 PM
Oh Sonja, I am so sorry, too. My heart aches for you doubly -- for losing precious Karma and also for losing that last connection with Apollo. I do believe I understand, at least a little bit. I know that when my sweet Peg goes to Rainbow Bridge, I will feel as though a final connection with Barkis will be lost to me, as well. So the pain will cut twice as deeply and be just that much harder to bear.

I hope it may give you some comfort to know that Karma is now honored on our special memorial thread here, too. She has been a part of our family all these years, alongside Apollo and alongside you. So for sure, she is an honorary Cushpup, too :o. Also, it will be our privilege to add a photo link to her name. You can just let me know about that whenever your wish.

I know this first new day without Karma will be especially hard. Please know that your family here is grieving right alongside you.

I send you so many hugs across the miles, Sonja. I so wish that I could do more.
Marianne

Robert
07-17-2015, 05:21 PM
So sorry for your loss. Karma and Apollo are now reunited and pain free....

Squirt's Mom
07-22-2015, 07:49 AM
Sonja, I am so sorry to hear about Karma. I know she and Apollo are running together in the Rainbow Fields, happy to be together again. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your hubby in the weeks ahead.

Hugs,
Leslie


FRIEND

I lost a treasured friend today
The little dog who used to lay
Her gentle head upon my knee
And shared her silent thoughts with me.

She’ll come no longer to my call
Retrieve no more her favourite ball
A voice far greater than my own
Has called her to his golden throne.

Although my eyes are filled with tears
I am thankful for the happy years
She spent down here with me
And for her love and loyalty.

When it is time for me to go
And join her there, this much I know
I shall not fear the transient dark
For she will greet me with a bark.

~Author Unknown

apollo6
07-22-2015, 01:25 PM
Dear Leslie and all thank you for kind words. I will copy into Karma's memorial album.
Sonja,Apollo,Karma and little Ariel

addy
07-23-2015, 04:25 PM
Dearest Sister, I was stunned to hear this devastating news and am so sorry i was not here for you.

Oh Sonja, how hard things have been lately for us both. We are still sisters in battle, just fighting a different battle.

Know that I care, I have Shingles now and just finished saying goodbye to our house today.

Fly free dear Karma, run to Apollo and Zoe who are waiting with open arms.

Love
Addy

apollo6
07-25-2015, 02:50 PM
My dear sister in arm. Thank you. You are also under a lot of stress. Our armor is getting rusty.
Sonja, Apollo,Karma ,and little Ariel

apollo6
09-09-2015, 01:53 PM
Today ,my little boy, my little Angel, Apollo ,September 9,2012, 3 years since you passed. Baby, I miss you every day. You were my one and only. Didn't think I'd be crying today. But here I am again. You brought me so much joy,love,companionship,acceptance,support,laughter . I am so grateful to have shared 14 years with you. Never will be enough. You are a part of my heart and soul. Losing Karma, July 16,2015, was the last piece of you I had. Take good care of your sister. Like Zoe you both were brave and courageous to fight for so long. I love you all.
Your Mom
Sonja
I light a candle for you today.

molly muffin
09-09-2015, 03:39 PM
Remembering and celebrating dear Apollo with you. I can't believe it has been this long. :(

Robert
09-09-2015, 04:14 PM
Remembering yours and all the bubs that have passed. Time goes so strangely - Tommy will have been gone two years September 26 - sometimes it is like he was here yesterday and other times it's like 20 years. Only thing in common with both feelings is missing them"......

addy
09-09-2015, 08:19 PM
Oh Sonja, I was stunned to think it has been 3 years since our beautiful, proud boy left us. Robert is right about how strange time is.

Losing Karma is still so new, so painful. I think it makes the 3 year mark harder.

However, Karma was not the last piece of Apollo for he did lead you to Ariel. They too are connected, just in a different way.

Sweet sister, big hugs and much love. I hope you can get away even for a night. I had forgotten how that feels and the wonder of it all, the surprise. I let it go on too long and now realize it was not good for me.

Koko and Ariel will be here in the now for us. I know it is not the same but maybe that is good for us too, in the long run.

apollo6
09-29-2015, 07:04 PM
A friend of mine , who lost her dog suddenly wrote this:

Now that I am gone I have a letter for you.

You were with me until the end. And even after I was already gone, you kept me a while. I saw you cry. I would like tell you, that I understood everything. You did this last decision just for me. And you were wise. It was time for me to go. Thank you for your understanding. No one will take my place. But those who come after me, need the love and affection that I had . You always think of me. These are moments where you're so infinitely sad. Please, do not think back full of grief. Think about how happy we were. And if you must let go of the next companion forever, then I will wait at the Rainbow Bridge for them. I will thank them, that they also made you happy. And I'll watch over them - for you! I thank you that you loved me , took care of me and had the courage to let me go with dignity. Your faithful companion
I needed to read this. Think about you a lot my baby boy, Apollo
with love always.

mypuppy
10-01-2015, 06:28 AM
Dearest Sonya,

Thinking of you and your sweet and precious little boy. I know how much you miss that baby, but we feel sooo Blessed they were in our lives and enriched every single day.

Thank you for that letter. It was beautifully written. Our babies will always love us.

Tight hugs Sonya!
OOJeanette

addy
10-05-2015, 04:28 PM
Thinking of you today, Sonja. I know September was such a hard month and now withou Karma as well. I send much love and hugs

The days are getting shorter and colder and my thoughts keep turning to all of you and of course Zoe.

I hope Ariel is well. Koko is just being Koko and that is fine for me though the townhouse is just as quiet as Knollwood was without Zoe.

How many years dear sister in arms have we now been blessed to know each other? I remember back to those early days, the laughter and the tears.

Know that I care and I am sorry I have not been here much. I feel badly I was missing when we lost Karma.

Always with me, Sonja.

Hugs forever

apollo6
10-08-2015, 12:44 PM
Dear Addy,
You and our babies are always with me. I have felt this wariness of late. I miss so much reading about Zoe's adventures, her courage. I will always feel Apollo in my heart and soul. Last night I couldn't sleep, so I played the music box, Apollo so loved, watched Apollo's and Karma's video and saw the joy ,laughter, love, and sorrow near the end. Could not stop crying. 3 months since Karma past, missing my babies.
Sonja, Apollo, Karma, Ariel
P.s.Doug missed Karma so much he adopted a little, mini pincher/dachshund mix. We named her Kristin( in memory of Karma,her middle name) but they both were our one and onlys.

Shelby01
10-10-2015, 12:57 AM
A friend of mine , who lost her dog suddenly wrote this: I needed to read this. Think about you a lot my baby boy, Apollo with love always.

This is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing. I lost my boy nearly a year ago very suddenly. Then I lost my girl barely three months ago after some serious highs and lows from her cushings. I am struggling every day. This letter really touched me. Thank you again

apollo6
10-12-2015, 08:47 PM
Today is your birthday Oct 12, 1998-Sept 9,2012.
I sang Happy Birthday and lite a candle for you today. You are my one and only as Karma is Doug's one and only.
Everyone said how special you were. Regal, proud, and strong. When I was down or cried, you'd lick my tears. You so loved it when we would rest on the couch, you on my stomach just looking at me a letting out a sigh of happiness to be with me. So many memories, joy, laughter(crawling into the sleeve of my housecoat, stuck with only your head out) Trying to make sure I could not leave the house without you, sneaking you in to places you were not allowed to. Flying with you in the plane, you were such a good boy. Only once did you make a growl sound when a mean stewardess walked by the aisle,and secretly everyone was glad you did. I could go on.
Take care of your sister Karma( she was always trying to get you to chase her) and watch over our Zoe(your girlfriend, but knowing Zoe, she has many Suitors) Have a great birthday with Buddy, Squirt and the others.
My sweet Angel. Mommies little Angel
Sonja

molly muffin
10-12-2015, 09:24 PM
Remembering our brave Apollo on this his special day.

Happy birthday Apollo hope it's a great one with all your friends

addy
10-13-2015, 08:38 AM
Thinking of you and Apollo. I think he and Zoe probably lit up heaven celebrating, don't you think?

Zoe probably ate too much birthday cake and Apollo probably had fun chasing her around the beautiful fields.

Oh Sonja, they are always in our hearts and on our minds, those two specials pups of ours. Maybe fifteen years from now it won't hurt so.
Sometimes time stands still when it comes to heartache.

Happy belated birthday Apollo. May you celebrate with Zoe for a whole week!

Squirt's Mom
10-13-2015, 09:17 AM
Happy Birthday, Apollo! Watch out for Squirt...she will steal your cake and chase all your balloons! :p

mommyslittlegirl
10-13-2015, 11:08 AM
Dear Sonja, what a beautiful life you and Apollo had together. .On his special day ,thank you for sharing details of his life with us. They made me smile. You and I and Kiki and Apollo are so much alike. Love Dawn & Kiki

apollo6
11-24-2015, 01:16 PM
Mommy's little angel, Apollo.
It is over three years since you past, and 5 months since your sister Karma past. I miss you both so much. I wish every one a blessed Thanksgiving. I am thankful for the 14 years I had with you and 16 years with your sister.
My little brave man, you fought so hard the last two years of your life. I used to say we are going to fight Cushing and for awhile we did. I will always miss you,love you. Even now people remember how special you are. My boy.
Love always
To all the cushing babies gone and still here. You are our angels and hero's always in our hearts.

addy
11-25-2015, 07:15 PM
Happy Thanksgiving, dear sister. It is hard this time of year so I send huge hugs and lots of smooches too!

Send them back to me as I Surely need them, can't get our pups off my mind and hold back the tears

Know you will always mean the world to me, gentle friend.

apollo6
11-27-2015, 12:32 PM
Dear Addy, right back at you, love and hughs. You never get over what we and our babies endured. You just learn to live with it, realize what a profound imprint these fur balls had on us, Apollo, Zoe, and what brave little soldiers they and we were. And when it hits,the tears mean how much we loved and will always love them.
Sonja,Apollo, Karma, Ariel

scoora
11-29-2015, 07:43 PM
Sonja, sending you lots of hugs.

Cindy Thoman
11-30-2015, 09:09 AM
Reading these beautiful post makes me so sad. I have been away from the forum for quite some time. I unfortunately came back to let you all know about the passing of my sweet little guy Alex. I recognize some of your names from 2011. Just heartbreaking to see that you have also lost your babies. I just want to thank you all again for being there for Alex and me. I hope all your precious babies are there to greet Alex so he won't be lonely.💔
Fondly,
Cindy

apollo6
12-27-2015, 09:27 PM
Christmas is not the same without you. You would tear through your presents and any other one near you. I think you were visiting me today. We went out for dinner and they played the song I put on your memorial video. The tears just started flowing on my face. We went to the place overlooking the Pacific Ocean,where we had Karma's memorial ceremony and one little humming bird was flying in the bushes. My sweet little soul mate, miss you every day and your sister Karma. Always in my heart. Love Mommy
Sonja
To all the cushpups here and gone,you are loved and remembered now and forever . The forum has gotten me through the trials, challenges, joy, sadness and losses. I am a better person because of all your love and support.

Allison
01-17-2016, 08:14 AM
I joined after you lost Apollo. He sounds like quite the character! You're right that we just learn to live with the loss of our fur friends. Hugs! May you have a blessed 2016.

"Sometimes it is like he was here yesterday and other times it's like 20 years. Only thing in common with both feelings is missing them" Such a true statement!

Allison
01-17-2016, 08:15 AM
Cindy, hi.

I'm sorry for your loss of Alex. Hugs!

apollo6
01-30-2016, 01:49 AM
My sweet little angel,
You come to my heart at night often. I am so blessed to have had you in my life. Because I love you so, I have my Apollo moments and the tears just flow. Some day,you will be waiting to greet me in heaven. Until then I will always carry you in my heart and soul.
Love my sweet little boy.
Sonja

Joan2517
01-30-2016, 08:45 AM
Hi Sonja,

I have recently joined this forum as the dog of my heart has been diagnosed with Cushing's. My precious Lena will be 15 in March and I am so afraid of the day I will have to let her go. My heart hurts for you. As I read your posts, I feel your pain and sorrow and I pray that you will find peace.

It's so hard to know whether we are doing the right thing for our precious ones. We love them so much that we will try anything if we think it will make them better so they can stay with us longer.

But then we question ourselves...are we doing the right thing? When is it time to stop trying? How much is too much? Are we making them better or worse?

I have only just begun this journey with Lee, even though the symptoms must've started a couple of years ago, so subtle that they didn't register as "red alert", even after bringing her to the vet because of them. I will always blame myself for that. But now, with this site, I am learning more and will have more knowledge, so that I can advocate for her with the vet instead of just blindly doing what they say.

She is having a good day, so far. But we have an ACHT test scheduled at 11:00, which will upset her. I will stay with her the 2 hours to make her feel better. I will read while she naps in my lap, or on the bench next to me. We get a cheeseburger on the way home and park by the ocean and share it...this way she has something to look forward to. I will do anything for my baby, as you did for yours...and they know it.

Thinking of you,
Joan

addy
02-02-2016, 07:34 PM
Hi Sis,

Missing Apollo right along with you, hugs and love and hopes for a visit from our boy, Zoe too to dry our tears. Maybe a hummingbird or some other sign is always so heartfelt welcoming.

Trying not to remember this month, pretending it is not February but had to get your necklace out to wear and hold.

Never to be forgotten, forever remembered, always loved and held so dear.

Apollo, go find Zoe and both of you frolic with cream on your noses, bark and wrestle and just have the best time ever. I can close my eyes and see you chasing each other, jump the rainbows and bark, bark, woof!

Love you, Sonja

apollo6
02-05-2016, 12:42 PM
Dear Addy
It warms my heart picturing ou babies like you said. Apollo's sister , Karma may be jealous of Zoe taking her brother.:
Sonja, Apollo

addy
03-03-2016, 07:51 AM
Thinking of you and Apollo and Karma. I hope Ariel is well.
Days are flying by, where does the time go?

So many memories here, so many are good ones and make me smile. Easier to forget the painful ones now. Must be healing.

Love you

apollo6
03-03-2016, 01:33 PM
Dear Addy
Thank you for your sweet words.
In the end we are left with the memories, beautiful, bitter sweet.
Like you we are looking into moving to Arizonia, where it is cheaper to live. We can find better independent living cheaper for Mom, and Doug and I can get a lot for our money, the cost of living is less than California. I am not looking forward to the heat,but I can no longer take the cold winters of Canada and Reno, Nevada
On the lighter side will have to get a tred mill for Ariel and Kristin and one for me and Dog when it is too hot to go outside. What a picture that would be:D
Missing my baby boy and girl(Karma)always. Grateful I have Ariel and Doug has Kristin. But at our age they may be the last dogs we have. Like you said time does fly. Love you all.

apollo6
03-26-2016, 02:37 PM
You are always with me my baby boy. I miss so many things about you ,yesterday was Good Friday. After mass someone asked me about my baby dog. You see, you were the church dog. Everyone knew you because I took you to church. The day before you died I took you to church. You were the only dog in church, you were and still are somewhat of a celebrity. Tears roll down my eyes as I write,you see today is our whip cream Saturday. I miss so many things about you. It is so different without you. Take good care of your little sister, Karma in heaven.
Love you
Sonja

addy
04-07-2016, 08:37 AM
Hi Sis, remembering Apollo and Karma, gosh I always loved to read Apollo went to church, I will never forget that.

That saying about time healing all wounds, well the author never had a Cush pup, I think.

I hope Ariel is giving you smiles, I know my Koko sure makes me laugh, though, I do admit, as much as I love him, it is different somehow.

I hope you had a good Easter, can't believe it was here and gone.

Much love,

apollo6
04-14-2016, 10:44 PM
Dear sweet Addy, thank you. Will be looking into moving to Arizona. So many changes in the next phase of our life. Like you, Ariel brings me lot of joy, but is not the same. Apollo and I were so connected and intune with each other.
My sweet Karma's birthday was April 5th. I dreamt she was lying by my head. She loved sleeping on the pillow. I reached out to her and hugged her. I told Apollo to give her a big celebration. P.s. Zoe took charge and gave Karma the best birthday ever.:):D
I have to believe this. Over 3 years since Apollo passed, Karma 9 months, and Zoe over ayear (or is it longer). Our babies.
Sonja

addy
04-15-2016, 08:01 AM
Zoe's birthday came along and I tried to not think about, it has been two years, can't believe, since we lost her.

I too get great comfort picturing all of them in heaven having a good time, friends forever and ever, waiting for us.

Starting a new phase in life is both exciting and scary at the same time. I. worry about not having enough money. I told hubby after I quit my full time , I want to get a part time job in a pet store so I can talk about animals with everyone.:) I would love that. I'm done with the high pressure.

apollo6
04-16-2016, 10:32 PM
Me too. After being in retail, I would rather wait on a dog any day. A tail wag and a lick, works for me.:D
Sonja,Apollo, Karma and Ariel

apollo6
06-23-2016, 01:34 PM
Every month I make a calendar with Apollo's and Karma's picture on it. I broke down and cried I had the picture of you at Coronado Island, sitting so proud full of love, it was your last stand (15 days before you died) I think you knew you were dying. I will miss you until the day I die. Almost 4 years and still hurts.
Love Mom
Mommy's little angel

Joan2517
06-23-2016, 01:51 PM
Oh, Sonja....hugs, hugs, hugs...

kanga
06-23-2016, 07:43 PM
Also sending my #HUGS :(

addy
06-23-2016, 08:10 PM
Love you,my sister, I think yes, it will always hurt, kind of a forever hurt we have, broken hearts that can't heal.

Forever dogs and forever hurt. The joy was so great, so awesome, guess the lasting hurt has to be so bad, the love was so blissful.

Hugs

mommyslittlegirl
06-23-2016, 10:18 PM
Dear Sonja, Apollo was your everything. You shared a special bond, a connection. Time moves along, but the missing last a life time, longer if it was possible. The monthly calendar you make using Apollo and Karma`s pictures is so sweet. I think I will use your idea and make for my baby. Sending my love .

Allison
06-24-2016, 11:13 AM
I like the idea of a calendar to commemorate pets lost. So many of mine were in the fall or spring. None are forgotten. Hugs!

apollo6
06-27-2016, 01:21 AM
Thank you all for your comforting words. Like Addy said, Dawn and everyone else, I think when you have fought as hard as we and our fur balls to battle this awful disease you fall even harder. But the love, joy, laughter and yes even the sadness to be with theses sweet little babies is worth it. No regrets.
Love Sonja,Apollo

addy
07-04-2016, 01:37 PM
Thinking of you today, sending hugs.
Hope the rainbow gang is having a good party.

I'm remembering the Fourth of July Zoe at a six pack of hamburger buns and swelled up like a balloon. Sonja, you kept me so calm.

Then picturing Apollo in his red stroller.

All good memories, sister

Happy Fourth

apollo6
07-04-2016, 01:55 PM
My dear sweet Addy, and all of you . On the fourth Apollo would wear his red USA cap, a star spangled red,white, and blue bandana, and be in his red stroller. He was Mr Hollywood. People would be smiling and make pictures of him. The tears are flowing and reading about the recent loses is always painful. I still can not throw out Apollo's medical files. I have all his clothes still.
Happy fourth to all of you. I'd like to think the fireworks are in celebration and honor of the fur balls we just lost and the ones who have gone before you: Zoey, Woody,Buddy, Scoop, Tia, Lena, Keesh, my Karma and all the rest.
Love Sonja,Apollo

mommyslittlegirl
07-12-2016, 08:11 PM
Sonja,I can picture sweet Apollo in his cap, bandana and riding in his red stroller. So cute. I know how much you love him.

apollo6
07-16-2016, 12:16 PM
Today Apollo ,is the day your sister Karma died in Daddy's arm. We miss our baby girl. I light a candle for you. You were Daddy's little girl, you were the boss over this 6'2" man. You would carry your bowl around hinting you wanted food. You would eat all the turkey and leave your food than look up at us and say where is the good stuff? When you wanted Daddy to pick you up you would stand in front of him and whin. You loved your baths. I think you loved your grandmother more than me. Right to the end you loved your walks. You were strong for Apollo. When he got weaker he would lean on you and you were there for him. My sweet baby girl. You and Apollo take care of each other. Love, miss you always.
Love your Mom

molly muffin
07-16-2016, 01:48 PM
Awww, thinking of you today Sonja. Karma was a little love, as was Apollo. I'm sure they found each other immediately.

mommyslittlegirl
07-16-2016, 02:06 PM
Dear Sonja, sending lots of love and hugs. And sharing a tear. Thank you for sharing the story of the love between your husband and sweet Karma. I`m sure Karma had plenty of love for all.

Joan2517
07-16-2016, 07:13 PM
I'm thinking of you also...

Allison
07-22-2016, 10:39 AM
What a beautiful and special memory. Karma sounds as if she had personality plus! You're in my thoughts.


Today Apollo ,is the day your sister Karma died in Daddy's arm. We miss our baby girl. I light a candle for you. You were Daddy's little girl, you were the boss over this 6'2" man. You would carry your bowl around hinting you wanted food. You would eat all the turkey and leave your food than look up at us and say where is the good stuff? When you wanted Daddy to pick you up you would stand in front of him and whine. You loved your baths. I think you loved your grandmother more than me. Right to the end you loved your walks. You were strong for Apollo. When he got weaker he would lean on you and you were there for him. My sweet baby girl. You and Apollo take care of each other. Love, miss you always.
Love your Mom

addy
07-25-2016, 07:49 PM
Thinking of you dear sister.

apollo6
08-06-2016, 12:10 AM
Thank you both.
Right back at you Andy. Will be looking into moving to Arizonia. A lot more affordable.
On the lighter side . Karma flew on a plane often as did Apollo. Well our new little one Kristen did great on the flight to Arizonia(in cabin) well on the way back she decided to make a patio door on her carrier. The next thing she was sitting on the sit between my husband and another passenger :eek::eek:Thank God she liked dogs . Doug thinks God is saying you already had the perfect dogs now I am going to mix it up: Ariel,the screamer(never know when it happens and Kristen the squeaker, she can squeezes the squeaker for hours it seems. I think Apollo and Karma are laughing saying you had it good with us.
Sonja

apollo6
09-09-2016, 12:39 PM
Mommy's little angel. Today 4 years ago,you died in my arms.
WhenI got you as a present for Christmas,you were only a puppy. I knew nothing about dogs. You became my teacher, my best friend. You enriched my life in so many ways. A ver stubborn little dachshund, with his own mind, very regal, very proud, very loving. I taught you to do many things. It was always on your terms. You could sense when I was going to leave you at home. You would barracage me from the garage door. When you would see another dog you would went for them to come to you. You were very stingy with you kisses. Everyone loved you so much,said you were one of a kind. My beautiful baby boy. I hope you are having a big birthday celebration with Zoe,Karma(your sister), Baily, Peggy, Dakota,Kiki, Hamish,Woody,Snoopy,and anyone I have forgotten.
Always in my heart and soul. I will love you till the day I die. You. Have left your paw print on my heart and enreached my life in so many ways. Love your Mom

labblab
09-09-2016, 01:43 PM
Oh our dear Sonja, how is it possible that four years have already passed by? We will never forget your proud brave boy, nor his sister! So many sweet stories and so many special memories. And yes indeed, surely there will be a grand birthday celebration at The Bridge with all our beloved furbabies present! I know you miss your baby boy dearly. We thank you for coming back to us today and allowing us to join you in honoring his brave heart and his shining spirit.

Sending so many hugs to you this day, and everyday.
Marianne

Joan2517
09-09-2016, 01:59 PM
Hugs from me too, Sonja. I can't imagine 4 years without Lena...it's only been 7 months and it feels like forever to me.

mommyslittlegirl
09-09-2016, 06:29 PM
Sonja, that was so sweet. I know how much you love and miss your baby Apollo. Love, Dawn

apollo6
09-26-2016, 05:40 PM
My little man, I think you and Zoe planned today. I tried to throw some of your medical bills and records away. I started crying so hard I had to stop. Everything came back. I miss you so much my little brave proud warrior. You are my heart dog. 🐾❤️ . You will always be in my heart. I miss so many things about you. 4 years and it still hurts! You little brother ,Ariel, is getting better with his anxiety and fears. Always a challenge . Never know when he will start screaming. Apollo, I was told over and over again, how special you were. So much on my plate, sell the store,move Mom,move me.
Love

Joan2517
09-26-2016, 09:17 PM
Oh, Sonja...hugs, hugs and a million hugs.

molly muffin
09-26-2016, 09:29 PM
HUGS Sonja.

Heck of a day today

mommyslittlegirl
09-27-2016, 10:29 AM
Oh Sonja, he still is special. Big hugs. Love, Dawn

apollo6
10-12-2016, 11:03 PM
Today is your birthday. I honor you with a candle in memory of your beautiful soul. I miss you so much. I will love you until the day I die. When it is my time greet me with your love. Mommy's little angel.
Sonja

Budsters Mom
10-12-2016, 11:38 PM
Happy Birthday Apollo!!

mommyslittlegirl
10-14-2016, 10:07 AM
Happy, Happy Birthday sweet Apollo .

addy
10-16-2016, 04:28 PM
Thinking of you and Apollo, dear friend, I know you have a lot going on.

I think Zoe and Apollo watch over the two of us, I really do.

I don't think we will ever be able to part with their things and that's probably ok. I don't think we are meant to do that.

Give kisses to Ariel and tell him Koko says woof:)

Apollo, I hope you had one heck of a birthday party and I know the girls were all smitten and following you everywhere. I hope Zoe didn't get to bossy and just made everyone laugh.

Always with us,

Love you

apollo6
10-21-2016, 12:36 PM
My dear sweet sister in arm. Thank you. Apollo needs Zoe to boss him.:D. A lot on my plate. Pulling back a little to get my energy back. At this age it takes longer. Maybe will email you.
Thanks Dawn for the birthday wish for Apollo.
Sonja and Apollo

molly muffin
10-21-2016, 11:17 PM
I am very sorry that I missed Apollos birthday. Happy Belated Birthday Apollo!
Always in our hearts.

labblab
10-22-2016, 10:31 AM
Me, too! Sonja, we will always remember your brave, beautiful boy. Many hugs being sent to you in his honor.

Marianne

apollo6
11-01-2016, 12:55 AM
Thank you Sharlene and Marianne. So many of you helped me and Apollo.
My baby boy, I went to your vet for Ariel's check up. And the conversation went to you. Your vet said you were one of a kind, so beautiful, such a beautiful spirit, so brave and dignified going through this awful disease. Everyone loved you so. Four years have passed and they still remember you. You will always be in my heart and soul until the day I die. My little angel
Love Mommy

Joan2517
11-01-2016, 07:33 AM
How wonderful that they do that! Four years, Sonja...such a long time. Lee's only been gone for almost nine months and it seems like forever to me...

Hugs....
Joan

apollo6
11-19-2016, 05:18 PM
You are on my mind today. I am having an Apollo day. Do not know why I am crying so much. Over 4 years and I miss you so much. Love my angel.
Wishing you all a wonderful Thanksgiving.
Sonja

spdd
11-19-2016, 05:46 PM
((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))

mommyslittlegirl
11-19-2016, 08:41 PM
Dear Sonja, I don`t think it matters if they have been gone a year, four years or a lot longer. We will never stop missing them. Or loving them. As you said, the loss will always be there. Many hugs, Dawn

apollo6
01-04-2017, 12:17 PM
Over four years since I lost my Apollo. I miss him every day. Like Hamish's mom, just to hold him one more time.
Sonja

Joan2517
01-04-2017, 12:28 PM
One more time would be wonderful, but I'm afraid I would never let go...

molly muffin
01-05-2017, 02:08 PM
Apollo and Hamish, both over 4 years now. I don't know where the time goes.

I don't think we ever stop missing them.

mcdavis
01-05-2017, 07:33 PM
We never stop missing them because they made such an impact on our hearts, and they'll always be part of us.

addy
01-06-2017, 08:05 PM
We think about them every day, miss them every day, remember forever.

And that's ok and as it should be.

It's a beautiful thing, actually and though it hurts sometimes, actually quite a lot, we know how much richer our lives were for having loved them all.

Love you Sonja

Squirt's Mom
01-07-2017, 10:50 AM
We never forget or lose that stab of pain....nor the desire for just one more minute. :(

((((((((HUGS))))))) Sonja

apollo6
01-31-2017, 01:02 PM
Thank you all for your kind words.
Love Sonja

apollo6
07-18-2017, 07:51 PM
July 15, 2015, 2 years ago Apollo's , Karma,sister passed. I made this video a year before she died.
My baby girl in memory of you. May you and Apollo play and romp up in heaven.
Always in my heart.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=irW1GMfXSis

Budsters Mom
07-18-2017, 08:27 PM
I remember that beautiful video.:)

Big hugs Sonja

Joan2517
07-19-2017, 07:34 AM
Beautiful, Sonja...I cried through the whole video.

mommyslittlegirl
07-19-2017, 11:11 AM
Sonja, your video is beautiful. Filled with love and sweet memories. Hugs. Love, Dawn

apollo6
09-10-2017, 02:21 PM
My sweet Apollo it has been five years since you past. I am so overwhelmed with everything in my life right now- my own health issues,my mother's car accident dealing with the insurance company, handling my mother- her doctor appointments, her declining health, trying to get the store ready to liquidate close, move my mother, move us, Doug's health issues. If it wouldn't have been for Dawn, I would have forgotten. Forgive me my little warrior. My little man,my little angel. I think you gave me a sign last week. Since you died I no longer get hummingbirds in the patio. Last week a hummingbird flew around the patio. I smiled thinking about when you and I would every year see the hummingbirds build a nest in a wind chime and watch the babies hatch, learn how to fly . I miss you everyday May you be looking down from Heaven. I will light a candle in your honor.
Love your Mom, Sonja

Joan2517
09-10-2017, 08:39 PM
Awww, Sonja...Hugs to you.

mommyslittlegirl
09-12-2017, 11:39 AM
Years continue to pass but the love and missing will always be there. And the precious memories of the life you shared. Perhaps Apollo sent you a sign with the hummingbird. To say I love you mommy and to comfort you. My baby sent me a sign while I was in her garden. Love is forever. Many hugs Sonja. Love, Dawn

molly muffin
09-12-2017, 02:21 PM
Big hugs Sonja,

one year today my molly has been gone. :(

apollo6
10-12-2017, 01:27 PM
Today is your birthday. I honor you with a candle, my little warrior. You will be with me till the day I die.
Love Your Mom,Sonja

mommyslittlegirl
10-13-2017, 08:16 PM
Happy birthday sweet Apollo . Hugs Sonja .

molly muffin
10-13-2017, 09:36 PM
i know you miss him terribly Sonja. HUGS!

Joan2517
10-14-2017, 08:05 AM
From me too, Sonja...

apollo6
09-09-2018, 01:37 PM
Today it has been 6 years since my Apollo , my little warrior died. They say we all have a soul dog, Apollo was mine. He was my teacher. I thank Dawn for the beautiful post. I miss him every day. I will light a candle in his honor look at his video. I also want to remember Terry, , Sweet Corky's mom, who died due to complications in August. She supported me a lot, would call me. May she rest in piece. I now have little Ariel, a mini dachshund rescue. I am his teacher. After Apollo died I felt Apollo was pushing me to adopt another. This went on for 4 months. I feel he was saying don't let that love for me die share it with another. Through the years I have had signs Apollo is watching over me. We used to experience swing a humming bird nest and the chicks in our patio for years. It stopped when he died. So every time I see a humming bird , I feel Apollo is saying " Hi Mom I am okay , just checking in on you". Thank you for your love and support over the years. Video
https://youtu.be/7klMKpJz4iM

Squirt's Mom
09-09-2018, 01:44 PM
Those years of love shared will forever be part and parcel of who we are. I have no doubt that those Hummingbirds are from Apollo! Or that our sweet Terri is with Corky, Apollo, Squirt, Lulu, Kiki, Molly, and many others, watching over you and Ariel, and all of us here at K9C.

Hugs,
Leslie

Joan2517
09-09-2018, 05:47 PM
That was so sweet, Sonja. I'm crying...I too believe that our heart and soul dogs are always with us. I was thinking of Lena yesterday and missing her terribly. I stopped at PetSmart with Sibble to get some dog food. As we were leaving our parking spot, I glanced to my left and there was this little fluffball walking with a woman and her little girl. I stopped to get a better look and it was a white teacup poodle with apricot fringe on his ears and down his back just like Lena when she was a puppy. I couldn't believe it! I stopped and petted him, took a couple of pictures, spoke with the woman about Lee, then cried the whole way home. I know that was her letting me see her again.

Our heart dogs are with us always...many hugs to you, Sonja, from my heart to yours.

FoxFire
09-14-2018, 05:57 PM
Watched your video of Apollo's life.

So sweet. I know I'm supposed to be tough grown man, but I was misty eyed by the end of the video.

Glad you are able to share your love with another sweet pup.

mommyslittlegirl
09-15-2018, 02:51 PM
Such a beautiful video Sonja .One of love of a life shared. Thank you for sharing . Forever missed but memories stored in the heart and mind forever, Our babies come to us in different ways . Perhaps Apollo takes on a hummingbird form . My baby comes in the clouds or a rainbow . Hugs my dear friend.

apollo6
10-13-2018, 12:50 AM
Wishing my Apollo happy birthday in heaven. You are always in my heart and soul. Think you may have been saying hi , saw two humming birds last week, one on the patio where we would see them every year and none since you past. Love to my little warrior

mommyslittlegirl
10-13-2018, 12:45 PM
Happy birthday sweet Apollo .

Squirt's Mom
10-13-2018, 01:44 PM
Happy Birthday, Apollo!!

Joan2517
10-13-2018, 03:38 PM
Happy birthday, Apollo!!

labblab
10-13-2018, 03:40 PM
Happy, happy birthday from me, too! I’m guessing all our sweet babies are joining in the K9C Angel celebration!

Big hugs to you, though, Sonja. Big hugs on this bittersweet day.

Always in loving memory. Always.
Marianne

Budsters Mom
10-13-2018, 03:51 PM
I cherish my memories of Apollo and his little red stroller. Happy birthday big guy!!

spdd
10-13-2018, 04:31 PM
Happy Birthday Apollo.. I know you are celebrating along with all our other fur baby's that are with you.

apollo6
10-13-2018, 11:22 PM
Thank you all for your beautiful posted. I think I may hear them celebrating.;)I call the. God shots. Our angels say hi in different ways. Thank you. Lena was a real little angel. I did not think anyone would post. Bless you my sweet earthly human Angels.

addy
11-22-2018, 09:59 AM
Hi Sonja,
Stoppped by and saw updates on our Apollo’s thread.
Red strollers, hummingbirds, doxy themed anything are just a few triggers that always bring back memories of our handsome, proud boy.
All the memories are held so dear.
My best wishes for a wonderful Thanksgiving. I am sure Zoe and Apollo are feasting away, while watching over us. Zoe is probably hogging the turkey legs!

apollo6
11-30-2018, 08:53 PM
thank you my dear friend.
Yes hold on to the good memories. I am sure our two little rascals are having fun while watching over us. Ever now and then I will see a hummingbird, my heart skips a beat and fill Apollo is saying just checking in Mom to see how you are doing. Take care my warrior sister.

apollo6
03-03-2019, 01:10 PM
It has been over 6 years since my boy, Apollo passed. Yesterday. You were on my mind a lot. I was reading notes to God to help me fill the hole and pain of your loss . You were so brave, courageous, dignified trying to fight this disease for as long as you could. I don't know if the guilt I feel about what you went through will ever go away.There is a hole and place in my heart and soul that only Apollo fills. You brought me so much joy, love, laughter, support. My sweet ,loving, regal, brave, little boy. Always in my heart and soul. I know every time I see humming bird, you are saying hi, Mom, and I get goose bumps. Take care of your sister Karma, Zoe(don't get to fresh with her ) love always your Mom

Joan2517
03-03-2019, 05:02 PM
Awww, Sonja...sending you many,many hugs.

labblab
03-04-2019, 07:39 AM
I’m sending you my warmest thoughts, too, Sonja. I can’t believe how quickly the years fly by, now. But the passage of time does nothing to change our memories or the ache of our loss over those we’ve loved so dearly. And always will love. If only we could have just a few moments back to show them how much they mean to us. I guess we just have to trust that they do know. They just have to. And so our K9C family will always join you in honoring your sweet, brave boy. So that he can know how much he will always remain loved. And Sonja, we are always right here by your side.

Thinking of you, and Apollo, this morning with such fondness. Thank you so much for continuing to return to us.
Marianne

Squirt's Mom
03-04-2019, 09:14 AM
I believe they do know how much they are still missed and continuously loved even tho they are no longer with us in a physical form. I believe they remain with us in the only form they can. I believe they send those signs like hummingbirds to let us know they are present and that their love is as strong as ever. I believe we will be with them again one day. If I couldn't believe these things I don't think I could face tomorrow. So even tho my arms often ache to physically hold my Sweet Bebe again my belief allows me to hold her and her siblings in my heart with full faith my arms will be filled again. Have faith, sweet Sonja, have faith. And know your family here believes right along with you.

Hugs,
Leslie

apollo6
03-06-2019, 12:21 PM
Thank you
Joan.
Such wisdom Leslie. I agree with you ,thank you.

mommyslittlegirl
03-09-2019, 02:46 PM
My dear friend , years pass but the love , support and happiness our babies gave us will never leave . The hole in our hearts and the pain of missing them remains .. Perhaps forever . Guilt is a part of death. I to have so much guilt . But I try not to concentrate on the guilt or sad times . . But on the love , happiness and the many more joyful things that were shared. And how they made us laugh . And remembering that we did the best we knew how for them . Hugs always Sonja

apollo6
03-09-2019, 03:09 PM
Thank you Dawn