I lost my sweet Timmy to Cushing's 2/16/11

[Timmy's Mom]

Hello.

First, I want to thank lablab and Squirt's mom for your very kind and much needed words of understanding, compassion and support.

I am so thankful that I found K9cushings.com

Until my sweet Timmy was diagnosed with Cushing's back in January I had never heard of the disease. I lost my Timmy just 6 weeks later. I was not prepared to lose my sweet westie rescue so soon (he adopted me back in 2005--when I rescued him his age was unknown--he was found as a stray in the middle of winter, had been placed in a couple of homes, was finally placed in westie rescue foster care and then he finally found me with the help of his foster mom).

I do not have kids of my own. I am a choir director. My students and my dogs are my kids.

Now that school is out and my students are gone, I feel like the grieving process for my sweet Timmy is starting all over again. In a moment of intense sadness, Mother's Day actually, I found the k9cushings site. Reading stories, one's that sounded so familiar to mine, reading the section on dealing with grief, and then finally joining and finding the open arms of lablab and Spuirt's mom, has been overwhelming and words cannot express how thankful I am. Thanks too for the assistance with the In Loving Memory section.


I wish I had discovered you earlier but now I'm here. Thanks so much. Timmy was my angel and I really miss him.

Timmy's mom

[mytil]

Hi Timmy's Mom,

I am so very sorry for Timmy's passing. Most of us here understand the tremendous grief that comes with it. Myself, I lost my Mytilda in 2004 and not a day goes by that I do not think of her and miss her.

I am hoping my little Mytilda has already met up with Timmy and he is being introduced to all the pups who have passed on.

Please do stay with us - and post more about your Timmy when you feel up to it.

Terry

[jrepac]

Hi there,

Yes, it's really hard; we totally understand how you feel. A day doesn't go by when I don't think of my special friend who is no longer with us. I can fully grasp how you feel with such a quick departure. I have had 2 Aussie terriers with Cushings now, and my first passed very quickly, despite initially responding well to treatment. It can be heart breaking. But, I was more fortunate with my last girl who endured for over 2 years with the condition. You just don't know...this stuff is very hard to control. And, it does seem that several of the terrier breeds are prone to this condition, unfortunately (boston, westie, aussie, etc.):(

But, you can be proud of the fact that you gave Timmy a loving home for the time you had him...that really counts for a lot.:)


Jeff & Angel Mandy

[Harley PoMMom]

Hi Timmy's Mom,

Bless you for rescuing Timmy and giving him a forever home that was filled with so much love for him.

I, too, totally understand about one's furbabies being their kids as I don't have any children either. Losing them is so very hard and I am so sorry for your loss. Please know we are here for you and as you feel you can, we would be honored to hear more about your sweet Timmy.

Love and sending huge loving hugs,
Lori

[labblab]

Thank you so much for your kind words! They really mean a lot to me. I cannot tell you how glad I am that you've found us, too (so the feeling is totally mutual ;)).

I have no human children, either, and my dogs are my furbabies. My Cushpup, Barkis, was the first dog for my husband and me, and I was totally unprepared for the depth of the grief that I felt when we lost him. He was 9 years old when he was officially diagnosed with Cushing's, but he had suffered from a series of health issues even before that. In retrospect, I realized that Cushing's had been causing problems for quite a long time. We started treatment with trilostane to which he responded quite well, and we had a few months of relief as we watched him return to being a happy, middle-aged Labrador. But then neurological problems emerged and worsened rapidly. Although we did not have the chance to confirm our fears with an MRI or CT scan, we assume that the pituitary tumor causing his Cushing's had expanded and was placing pressure elsewhere in his brain. When he would no longer eat nor drink, we reached a point of crisis, and chose to release his proud spirit from his ailing body.

Our decisions at the end were forced so quickly, and I was so distraught during those last weeks of sudden decline. I had thought (hoped) that I would feel peace upon setting him free. But there was no peace, just questions and second-guesses and horrible loss. It took me a long time to find solace from accepting that we had made the best decisons we could at the time, with the information that was available to us, and loving Barkis with all our hearts. And I owe a huge debt to my friends here, for listening to me and supporting me as I took baby steps along the road.

I am very grateful for the opportunity to help repay that debt. And so it is with gladness that I welcome each grieving parent who joins us here on "In Loving Memory." That may sound funny to say, since there is nothing "glad" about the grief and the sorrow that we share. But I am truly so glad that we have this special and sacred place to honor our babies and to take care of ourselves.

So I welcome you to our family. And truly -- it will be our privilege to join you in celebrating Timmy's spirit and also to listen to whatever stories you may wish to share about your lives together. And that means the painful parts right alongside the joyous ones.

Sending many hugs, and anxious to hear more about your sweet boy.
Marianne

[Squirt's Mom]

Like Marianne, I thank you for your kind words but most of all I thank you for trusting us during your time of need and with preserving Timmy's memory. Before I found my home here, it never occurred to me that the joys, the laughter, the stories of life shared with a furbaby could be kept where they wouldn't fade from memory nor that there were people who felt as deeply as I did when those babies were gone. Here, we are all safe - those precious memories and our bleeding souls are safe.

I think things happen for a reason. Timmy was supposed to be with you - that is why none of his other homes worked out; he was waiting for you. The Universe knew your two souls were meant to blend, meant to be bonded for all time. The Universe knew the day was coming when Timmy would need the love and TLC that only you could give him, that only you would grieve so when he left this old planet. You gave him the life he was meant to have and you were the only one who could.

I also happen to believe that Timmy is not really gone - only changed. His spirit remains close, watching over you with the same love and devotion you always showed him. He is in the Rainbow Fields, whole, strong, and young once again, running like mad with his many new friends. When the day comes that our jobs here are done and we cross The Bridge, our babies will there to greet us. You will hold your sweet Timmy once again, cover his face with kisses, and the two of you will never be parted.

As you feel up to it, we would love to share in your memories, the stories of yours and Timmy's journey together. Please know you now have a soft, safe place to fall when it seems the ground has been pulled out from under you, as I know full well it does. We understand, and our hearts and arms are always open.

Fly free, sweet Timmy, fly free!

Our deepest sympathies,
Leslie, Squirt, Trinket, Brick, and our Angels, Ruby and Crystal

[marie adams]

Hi Timmy's Mom,

Welcome to you!!

I sit hear writing to you with tears because I too never thought the loss would be this hard. It has been 4 months since Maddie left us and the loss never leaves you. It gets better, but ...:o

We had the Cushing's under control, but the cancer got our girl. I still see her eyes looking at us telling us it is time, and saying why can't I just get up and walk with you like we use too...:(

We are now in the process of getting a new little furball, but now I have expectations to be met--haha!!! It will be a great adventure again that my husband and daughter will share in. We know so much more this time around. :)

Please share your stories of Timmy.

[Timmy's Mom]

Thank you everyone for your kind and much needed support.

Sweet memories:
Timmy had the most beautiful alto bark/singing voice. I am a choir director and he made his mom proud with his warm, velvety smooth voice! He also had a thing for white trucks! White trucks made him just go crazy! He had the most beautiful eyes. He LOVED his mom! I have many more pictures of Timmy that I will be adding to his album.

On Mother's Day I had a relapse-I really missed my boy. 3 things happened that were pretty incredible: 1) My husband gave me a card, (very unexpected and out of the norm for my husband)--the card read: "Pretend that I'm with you...because in my heart I am." 2) Gracie, my other westie, a very high soprano, (I adopted her from Westie Rescue about 1 year after Timmy--Timmy was already showing signs of Cushings though I didn't know it was Cushings then--his foster mom thought he might like a sister--looking back I think she kept him young!) is a true daddy's girl and not one to ever cuddle in mom's lap like Timmy used to--out of the blue she jumped into my lap while we were out on the deck and sat with me for 2 hours! 3) Later in the day, I somehow was led to k9cushings.com

My sweet Timmy was looking out for his mom--he sent me a card, he sat in my lap, he sent me to you.

It was a pretty good Mother's Day after all.


Timmy's Mom

[MBK]

I am sitting here with tears in my eyes reading about your sweet Timmy. It sounds like his spirit was definitely with you on Mother's Day. Don't you wish that he could have talked to tell you what it was about those white trucks?! I just looked at his pictures - what a handsome, sweet, little guy! Thanks for sharing his pictures!

My daughter is married and I am single so my two JRTs are a huge part of my life - they are who I come home to. I found this site just a few weeks ago when my Jack Russell, Alivia, was diagnosed with Cushing's. Some people do not understand how you can be so attached to a "dog". The people here absolutely get it. They are a bunch of wonderful caring people. I, too, am happy you found a place like this to help you as you are grieving the loss of your precious angel.

Take care of yourself.

[addy]

I am so sorry to hear about your loss but I am so thankful Timmy found you when he needed you most and knew your love and caring.

Timmy will come to you when you need him the most. It may be in a dream or some other deja vu event, like Mother's Day.

I too rescued a pup from animal control only to find 3 years later she has Cushings. Like our Leslie wrote to you, my wise for her years granddaughter pointed out to me that she was meant to come to me because God knew I would try very hard to give her a good life in spite of this disease.

All of us understand your love for Timmy and we recognize the grief that comes with the loss. We are always here for you and hope you come back to talk, share more memories of Timmy, whatever you need.

We laugh and cry together, we share the joys and the pains and we celebrate our love for our dogs and their love for us.

Hugs,
Addy

[Timmy's Mom]

Thanks again everyone. I was thinking today as I was walking Gracie (Timmy's adopted westie sister), wouldn't it be nice if there was an entire neighborhood or community with people that were as understanding as all of the wonderful people on this site? It would be nice to sit and talk with someone, to be hugged, to know that when you walked down the street people understood and knew just what to do and what to say? Just the other day I was walking Gracie and one of my neighbors who hadn't seen me all winter said "where's the other one?" I said I lost him 3 months ago to Cushings and that it's pretty sad. His comment back was "you have Gracie." Like that should make everything okay. Now I know why Gracie insisted on taking me on new walking routes for the first month since Timmy's passing--to protect me! Instead of walking down our sidewalk and turning to the left, like we always did with Timmy, she insisted on walking to the right!

I am really missing my Timmy again this evening and I am feeling so alone. Timmy was my first momma's boy--he really loved his mom--I miss that. I am struggling with the fact that he had to have such a terrible disease--for all of the unconditional love, why this? He didn't like the vet and my poor boy was in and out of the hospital so many times...why..... I struggle with the disease, I struggle with how short our time was together. At one point I was optimistic, based on what I was told was possible by doctors, that the medicine could extend his life for as long as 2 years--I left the hospital that day in late January with my Timmy and I was feeling so hopeful.

Sorry everyone. I'm not sure if this is the right location for this message. I'm not technically savvy--my students will tell you that--though they do find it endearing. I was very proud that I could even upload pictures for his album!

Kathleen

[mytil]

This is the perfect location for your post and I would dearly love to see photos of your Timmy and your Gracie.

I know what you mean about what people say - I think there are just some who have not had the privilege and do not know the joy of being loved by a dog (or cat) and loving them back - IMO a part of them is missing. It is funny, but they would not dare say this if one lost one of the children (well at least you have the other)....

To upload a photo ----- At the top of the menu bar you will notice USER CP (far left hand side). Click that and you will taken to another page. On this page you will see on the left hand side a menu bar (going down the page) and click PHOTOS AND ALBUMS - click that and you can follow the instructions. Any problems, get with us.

My continued ((((hugs)))
Terry

[labblab]

Kathleen, the photos that you have been uploading this week are just wonderful! You should be a professional pet photographer -- seriously! :)

Reading what you wrote about Timmy and the vet really resonates for me, too. It feels like such an awesome responsibility to have to make these decisions for our dogs without being able to tell them what is going on. After all the vet visits, my Barkis ended up being so scared. I tried to vary the route, but he could always tell if a car ride was going to end up there. I guess he probably sensed something in me as well as recognizing landmarks. But he would start to tremble the moment he knew where we were going. And it broke my heart not to be able to explain why, not to be able to tell him that there was a reason for all the poking and prodding. That is partly what got to me at the end. I just felt as though we had asked too much of him for too long. I wanted him to be at peace. But I couldn't explain that to him, either. I hope he somehow knew and understood.

How is little Gracie doing without Timmy? Does she seem to be missing him? Even though your relationship with her is very different, I think it is sweet that she is helping you in these special little ways. Like sitting in your lap on Mother's Day, and rearranging your neighborhood walks. It is amazing how sensitive these furballs can be, and how much they are able to pick up on.

Since losing Barkis, my husband and I have become the proud parents of two Labrador girls, Peg and Luna. I love them dearly, but it is definitely true that each one of the three have had very distinct personalities. And Barkis was absolutely mama's boy.

Please do keep adding photos. I just love them all!

Marianne

[labblab]

Kathleen, I love all your photos, but the one of Timmy and Gracie on "Present Patrol" especially tickles me! :p :) :D

Did you also dress them both in costumes at Halloween? I would LOVE to be able to get Peg and Luna to wear something cute (at any time of year!), but within ten seconds they would be tugging and chewing and rolling and struggling - "Mom, you gotta get this stuff offa me, NOW!!!!" :o :( :eek:

Marianne

[Timmy's Mom]

Marianne,

As much as I would have LOVED to dress them up, whenever I did, I would always get "the look" from both of them--they were so ABOVE playing dress-up I was worried they might call animal control on me! On football Saturday around here they would "allow" me to put ISU Cyclone bandannas on them and in the winter they discovered they could stay outside a lot longer if I put on the fleece booties their "grandpa" custom made for them!

Thanks for asking--brought back great memories!

Kathleen

[Timmy's Mom]

I've added more pictures of Timmy to his album. I miss my sweet boy.

Timmy's mom

[labblab]

Kathleen, I love all of your new photos, too. Especially this one:

http://www.k9cushings.com/forum/album.php?albumid=349&pictureid=2718

Timmy's little dirty face is so incredibly sweet! :o :) :p

I know you'd give anything (in a heartbeat!), to be able to hug your muddy little rascal one more time...

Marianne

[Timmy's Mom]

Thanks so much for writing Marianne. I love hearing from you. Just seeing the picture of your "avatar" with Barkis' smiling face makes me smile! I finally uploaded my own "avatar." It's my favorite picture of Timmy.

Kathleen

[Squirt's Mom]

I love the photos, Kathleen! The muddy one is so cute and I know it is one you will cherish for years to come. The expression on Timmy's face is just priceless - he knows he's cute and oh so very loved!

Hugs,
Leslie

[Timmy's Mom]

Thanks so much Leslie. It has been good therapy for me to post his pictures and write little captions. I hope all is well with you.

Kathleen

p.s. I finally figured out what "avatar" is and finally have one of my own!

[Squirt's Mom]

You're doing good! It took me months, I think, to figure it out! :p

[addy]

And what a fine avatar it is :D:D

I love the new pictures of Timmy. He looks so very happy and sweet.
How did you ever get him to pose in front of the tree like that?

Hugs,
Addy

[jrepac]

LOVE the pictures!:D

He was such a beautiful boy! The mud story IS funny! Terriers love to chase the critters....I've experienced that first hand...squirrels, chipmunks, bunnies, whatever looks "interesting"...and why is it that right after they get a bath or grooming they do this? It's like some sort of "message" they are sending...."I am only clean if I want to be!"

Gracie looks like a real sweetheart as well, but we all know that you can never "replace" what you had in Timmy. Each one is unique, special and precious.


Jeff & Angel Mandy

[Timmy's Mom]

Thanks so much Addy. He was so sweet. The tree picture was easy--I just put him on the stool and asked him to sit! He loved pleasing his mom. He looks like one of my Christmas decorations--I used to call him Timmy bear (I don't know why, but he reminded me of a koala bear--maybe it was his eyes)....and little Timmy....angel boy.... thanks for bringing back wonderful memories.

Nice to hear from you Jeff. I love the Terrier spirit. I remember when Timmy got his first chipmunk--it was about 2 months after I adopted him. I didn't know what to do. I called my dad and told him what my little Westie did and my dad said, that's what he is supposed to do--you need to let him know how proud you are! And that is what I did. Kind of like the digging in the mud after his haircut--I was proud of him for that too!

Gracie is also a Westie Rescue dog--she is a sweetheart. I adopted her one year after Timmy. She will be 9 in November. I am so thankful she is in my life. Gracie has been taking real good care of her mom since losing Timmy.

I am so thankful I found this forum--I cry and I laugh--I feel so much better! You are all so kind.

Ever grateful,

Timmy's mom

[addy]

Hi,

How are you doing today? I wanted to stop by and say hi. Last night I saw a commercial on TV and the featured dog reminded me of your Timmy and Gracie, which of course, made me think of you.

So I wanted to say hi and tell you to try and have a nice day. I hope it may be a bit easier day for you.:)

Hugs and more hugs,
Addy

[Timmy's Mom]

Hi Addy,

Thank you so much for your note. I have experienced a few firsts recently: I stopped by the small animal hospital on Monday (my first time back since losing Timmy in Feb) to pick up Gracie's special dog food. I was doing okay until I walked in and saw one of Timmy's doctors--the floodgates opened--the doctor was kind enough to spend some time talking with me, I then picked up Gracie's food, I felt okay.

Now I am in northern MN visiting my mom and dad--the last time I was here was at Christmas with Timmy and Gracie. Once again, memories of Timmy are very close. I will be here for a week--I think this will be good for me. My Gracie is such a sweetheart--I am so thankful I have her.
She loves it here--SO many chipmunks, SO little time.....

Just this evening a friend (she breeds Westies and they are beautiful with sweet personalities) sent me a flip video of her latest litter of Westie puppies--they are so sweet--I found myself smiling with tears in my eyes as I watched them. I am guessing Timmy and Gracie would both love to see there mom with a houseful of Westies!

Overall, I am having more better days--the better days due to people like you. Thanks for thinking about me Addy.

Hugs back to you,

Kathleen

[apollo6]

Dear Kathleen
I looked at your beautiful pictures of Timmy. May your little angel finally have peace. He will always be a part of you and the memories will never die. Feel you feelings. When you need to cry do so.
Hugs Sonja and Apollo

[Squirt's Mom]

Hi Kathleen,

Man, those "firsts" can really get to ya, huh? :( But they only happen once; the next time is just a tad bit easier; the next a bit better again. For me, the pain never goes completely away but it does lose it's power as each of those "firsts" fall behind.

I try to look at the lasting pain as a sort of a gift - or perhaps better stated as a reminder of a gift. Without the depths of love we feel that pain could never exist. Being able to love in such a manner is the gift we have been given, a gift that is rare in humans. It is a gift that must be shared, that must be experienced....as evidenced by your reaction to the video your friend sent. A heart as big as yours will always have room to love again....and that is a true gift.

Hang in there!
Hugs,
Leslie and the gang

[Timmy's Mom]

I miss you every day sweet Timmy. Evenings are the worst. I found this poem today and it reminded me of you:

I Only Wanted You
Author unknown

They say memories are golden
well maybe that is true.
I never wanted memories,
I only wanted you.

A million times I needed you,
a million times I cried.
If love alone could have saved you
you never would have died.

In life I loved you dearly,
In death I love you still.
In my heart you hold a place
no one could ever fill.

If tears could build a stairway
and heartache make a lane,
I'd walk the path to heaven
and bring you back again.

Our family chain is broken,
and nothing seems the same.
But as God calls us one by one,
the chain will link again.

[labblab]

Kathleen, that is such a sweet and tender poem. Thank you for sharing it with us, just as you are sharing it with Spirit Timmy.

Marianne

[Timmy's Mom]

Thank you Marianne. The following poem is the one I am really struggling with. At night sometimes when I close my eyes, I am there with him at the hospital reliving our final moment together and I am losing him all over again. The pain is unbearable. What do you do when this happens?

If It Should Be
Author unkown

Before I grow too frail and weak,
And all that's left is peace in sleep,
I know you'll do what must be done,
To end this fight that can't be won.

I don't fear death as humans do,
So let me try to comfort you,
Come: let us take a quiet stroll,
And share some quietness soul to soul.

No need for words 'twixt you and I,
No need to say a last good-bye,
We've grown so close in mind and heart,
It seems so cruel that we must part.

Be sure I sense the pain you'll feel,
Without me walking at your heel,
The days will feel full of despair,
Your Puppy simply won't be there.

In time the pain will slowly wane,
You'll think of me and smile again,
You'll speak with love and pride of me,
Your extra special much loved puppy.

Now take me where my needs they'll tend,
And stay there with me till the end,
Hold me close with soft good-byes,
'Till life's bright light has left my eyes.

The final sound I need to hear,
Is your soft voice upon my ear.
Your loving face will fade and dim,
As the rush of heaven closes in.

[gpgscott]

God bless Timmy.

Scott

[labblab]

Oh Kathleen, I do remember those excruciating times when my mind and my heart (and my gut) was consumed with the pain of missing my boy, and I relived the dark moments over and over. I am not a person who can compartmentalize my thoughts and my feelings AT ALL. If I am upset about one thing, it bleeds into everything else. During the early days, it felt impossible for me to find relief from my grief and distraction from my thoughts. But with the passage of time, the intensity of the pain lessened. And other demands finally diverted my thoughts.

But in the beginning, the grief had a life of its own. For me, I don't think there was any way in which I could (or even should) have closed off the grief entirely. It was something I had to go through. Because even though I did not realize it at the time, each time I revisited the pain and the images, their power began to diminish just a teensy bit. It was as if I had to "wear them out" in order to allow them to fade.

There was one little tool that I used, though, to help me during the day. I have written about this to others. And I don't know that it would be of any help to anybody else but me. But during the day, when my thoughts seemed to uncontrollably recycle back to the worst of times, I started repeating this little mantra over and over: "We loved him dearly. He had a wonderful life. We didn't let him suffer." The miracle for me was that each time I said, "He had a wonderful life," happy pictures of the good days would come to my mind. And during those moments (even though they were only moments), the dark memories were held at bay. And slowly over time, those happy pictures came more frequently, and finally held the power in my mind and heart. Perhaps there is a little mantra that would bind Timmy's wonderful days to your heart and your memory, too.

I would like to share one of my favorite poems with you. It is one that still brings me comfort, almost seven years later. Because it focuses my heart on the belief that his spirit survives and is forever present. To this day, I still call my Barkis to my side every so often. When the day is especially lovely. Or when I am missing his physical presence. And the images of this poem bring me much comfort.


We have a secret, you and I
that no one else shall know,
for who but I can see you lie
each night in fire glow?
And who but I can reach my hand
before we go to bed
and feel the living warmth of you
and touch your silken head?
And only I walk woodland paths
and see ahead of me,
your small form racing with the wind
so young again, and free.
And only I can see you swim
in every brook I pass
and when I call, no one but I
can see the bending grass.

Author Unknown

As always, sending many hugs to you.
Marianne

[Harley PoMMom]

Oh Kathleen,

I really understand how you feel. My boy, Harley, was released from his pain on April 18, 2011. It is so very hard not having them here. When I find the pain intense I make myself remember all the happy and good times that Harley and I had together. I remind myself that he is no longer in any pain and is running free, feeling well and whole again.

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Love and hugs,
Lori

[Timmy's Mom]

Thank you Lori. I know you understand and that is very comforting to me. I was trying to explain to my husband how I was feeling and he really couldn't help me. He said that I invest a lot of time with my dogs (I rarely call them dogs--usually pup or friend) and when you love so much the loss is that much greater. That is certainly true and it sure seems unfair. What is special about this forum is that those that have lost their dogs (our friends) to Cushings all understand what I am talking about like no one else can: The many trips to the hospital, the different doctors, the different tests and treatments--and the whole time I'm second guessing my decisions, hoping I am doing the right thing. Because of this I have found it very hard to find closure. The disease is so complicated and unfair to both owner and pet. The other tough thing is that Timmy was a rescue dog and I never knew his age. He was with me for 6 short years. I know he had a tough life before he found me--I only wish I could have given him more than 6 years in his forever home with his "forever" mom. He gave me so much love and 6 years wasn't enough time for me to return to him all that he deserved.

Happy memories:

Today is Monday. Monday is the day that most people on my block put their trash cans out at the end of their driveways for trash pick-up. Timmy went crazy for the white garbage truck. He would run on his leash with me for blocks chasing the garbage truck. The whole time I'm behind him laughing and enjoying seeing how happy this activity made him. On our way back home he would stop to lift his leg on every trash can (I don't know why!). This also made me laugh.

I hope there are white garbage trucks and lots of garbage cans in heaven!

Hugs to you Lori. I hope our pups are friends!

Kathleen

[addy]

Dear Kathleen, I just wanted to share this with you. I have lost quite a few companions over the years. My very own first cat when I married got quite sick and I had to let him go. It was a very hard decision to make while he lay on the operating table and it traumatized me greatly. I loved him so.

Over a year later, I would be having a nice soak in the tub and find myself bursting into tears, remembering him. I had terrible nightmares about him for over five years.

I don't tell you this so you think oh great that is what I have to look forward to. I tell you this because we all grieve in our own way and it will take however long it takes. Don't allow others to try and rush the process for you. Sometimes the circumstances of the loss have a profound affect on us.

Allow yourself to grieve so you can then heal.

Love you and sending great hugs,

Addy

[Timmy's Mom]

Love and hugs back Addy.

"It came to me that every time I lose a dog they take a piece of my heart with them. And every new dog who comes into my life, gifts me with a piece of their heart. If I live long enough, all the components of my heart will be dog, and I will become as generous and loving as they are."

---Unknown

[Timmy's Mom]

Oh Marianne, I didn't see your response. Thanks so much for the private message. I actually took myself off of facebook because I didn't know how to respond to the friend requests of all of my students. I didn't want to hurt their feelings anymore because of my lack of technical savvy so I got off facebook. I'm sorry I still don't understand how this whole site works!

Tears were streaming down my face as I read your response to me. That is exactly how I feel.

I am finding solace hearing from all that understand what I am going through. I am also finding more poems and will add them to the poem list. I wish I was as gifted as you with expressing my thoughts in writing. Good thing I have choral music in my life to express myself!

Hugs and love to you Marianne.

Kathleen

Oh Kathleen, I do remember those excruciating times when my mind and my heart (and my gut) was consumed with the pain of missing my boy, and I relived the dark moments over and over. I am not a person who can compartmentalize my thoughts and my feelings AT ALL. If I am upset about one thing, it bleeds into everything else. During the early days, it felt impossible for me to find relief from my grief and distraction from my thoughts. But with the passage of time, the intensity of the pain lessened. And other demands finally diverted my thoughts.

But in the beginning, the grief had a life of its own. For me, I don't think there was any way in which I could (or even should) have closed off the grief entirely. It was something I had to go through. Because even though I did not realize it at the time, each time I revisited the pain and the images, their power began to diminish just a teensy bit. It was as if I had to "wear them out" in order to allow them to fade.

There was one little tool that I used, though, to help me during the day. I have written about this to others. And I don't know that it would be of any help to anybody else but me. But during the day, when my thoughts seemed to uncontrollably recycle back to the worst of times, I started repeating this little mantra over and over: "We loved him dearly. He had a wonderful life. We didn't let him suffer." The miracle for me was that each time I said, "He had a wonderful life," happy pictures of the good days would come to my mind. And during those moments (even though they were only moments), the dark memories were held at bay. And slowly over time, those happy pictures came more frequently, and finally held the power in my mind and heart. Perhaps there is a little mantra that would bind Timmy's wonderful days to your heart and your memory, too.

I would like to share one of my favorite poems with you. It is one that still brings me comfort, almost seven years later. Because it focuses my heart on the belief that his spirit survives and is forever present. To this day, I still call my Barkis to my side every so often. When the day is especially lovely. Or when I am missing his physical presence. And the images of this poem bring me much comfort.


We have a secret, you and I
that no one else shall know,
for who but I can see you lie
each night in fire glow?
And who but I can reach my hand
before we go to bed
and feel the living warmth of you
and touch your silken head?
And only I walk woodland paths
and see ahead of me,
your small form racing with the wind
so young again, and free.
And only I can see you swim
in every brook I pass
and when I call, no one but I
can see the bending grass.

Author Unknown

As always, sending many hugs to you.
Marianne

[Timmy's Mom]

Here are two more poems:

The Gift
I’ll lend you for a little while my grandest dog, he said. For you to love while he’s alive

 And mourn for when he’s dead. 

It may be one or many years, 

Or days, or months, you see.

 But will you, till I take him back 

Take care of him for me?

 He’ll bring his charm to gladden you, 

And should his stay be brief 

You will have treasured memories 

As solace for your grief. 

I cannot promise he will stay, 

Since all from earth return. 

But there are lessons taught on earth 

I want this dog to learn. 

I’ve looked the wide world over 

In my search for teachers true.

 And from the throngs that crowd life’s lanes 

With trust, I have selected you. 

Now will you give him your total love? 

Nor think the labor vain,

 Nor hate when I come 

To take him back again? 

I know you’ll give him tenderness 

And love will bloom each day. 

And for the happiness you’ve known 

Forever grateful stay. 

But should I come and call for him 

Sooner than you’ve planned 

You’ll brave the bitter grief that comes

 And someday you’ll understand.
~Author Unknown



The Fourth Day
by Martin Scot Kosins
If you ever love an animal, there are three days in your life you will always remember.
The first is a day, blessed with happiness, when you bring home your young new friend.
You may have spent weeks deciding on a breed. You may have asked numerous opinions of many vets, or done long research in finding a breeder. Or, perhaps in a fleeting moment, you may have just chosen that silly looking mutt in a shelter ... simply because something in its eyes reached your heart.
But when you bring that chosen pet home, and watch it explore, and claim its special place in your hall or frontroom - and when you feel it brush against you for the first time - it instills a feeling of pure love you will carry with you through the many years to come.

The second day will occur eight or nine or ten years later.
It will be a day like any other. Routine and unexceptional. But, for a surprising instant, you will look at your longtime friend and see age where you once saw youth.
You will see slow deliberate steps where you once saw energy.
And you will see sleep where you once saw activity.
So you will begin to adjust your friend's diet - and you may add a pill or two to her food.
And you may feel a growing fear deep within yourself, which bodes of a coming emptiness.
And you will feel this uneasy feeling, on and off, until the third day finally arrives.

And on this day - if your friend and God have not decided for you, then you will be faced with making a decision of your own - on behalf of your lifelong friend, and with the guidance of your own deepest Spirit.
But whichever way your friend eventually leaves you - you will feel as alone as a single star in the dark night sky.

If you are wise, you will let the tears flow as freely and as often as they must. And if you are typical, you will find that not many in your circle of family or human friends will be able to understand your grief, or comfort you.
But if you are true to the love of the pet you cherished through the many joyfilled years, you may find that a soul - a bit smaller in size than your own - seems to walk with you, at times, during the lonely days to come.
And at moments when you least expect anything out of the ordinary to happen, you may feel something brush against your leg - very very lightly.
And looking down at the place where your dear, perhaps dearest, friend used to lay - you will remember those three significant days.
The memory will most likely be painful, and leave an ache in your heart -
As time passes the ache will come and go as if it has a life of its own.
You will both reject it and embrace it, and it may confuse you.
If you reject it, it will depress you.
If you embrace it, it will deepen you.
Either way, it will still be an ache.

But there will be, I assure you, a fourth day when - along with the memory of your pet - and piercing through the heaviness in your heart -there will come a realization that belongs only to you.
It will be as unique and strong as our relationship with each animal we have loved, and lost.
This realization takes the form of a Living Love -
Like the heavenly scent of a rose that remains after the petals have wilted, this Love will remain and grow - and be there for us to remember.
It is a Love we have earned.
It is the legacy our pets leave us when they go -
And it is a gift we may keep with us as long as we live.
It is a Love which is ours alone -
And until we ourselves leave, perhaps to join our Beloved Pets -

It is a Love that we will always possess.

Martin Scot Kosins is the author of Maya's First Rose, published by Open Sky Books.

"The Fourth Day" originally appeared as the Foreword for Pet Loss by Nieburg and Fischer, published by HarperPerennial.

[Timmy's Mom]

My sweet Timmy:

Tears are streaming down my face as I write.

Back in May when I was having a particularly bad time, I asked you to help me. Remember?

I then went to my computer and waiting for me was just one message and it was from a westie breeder--she is one of the most reputable breeders in our region--she has 5 westies of her own, she shows them, teaches them agility training, she judges competitions around the country, and when her dogs have pups, she keeps them with their mom in her home with her (all of her westies and their puppies sleep in the same room with her so she can keep an eye and ear on them at all times) and gives them so much love and attention for at least 3 months before carefully selecting a future "mom or dad" for her special babies.

I had contacted her a while ago and told her my story about you and me. It turns out, her "Lily" was expecting puppies any day. I was also told that all females and the first male were already spoken for. I really did not think my chances of getting one of "Lily's" puppies was very good.

Well, that day that I asked you for help I got an email from "Lily's" mom. She told me that Lily only had two pups, a female and a male. It turns out the male puppy was supposed to go to the sire's mom-- but because he was born with a slight crook in his tail the sires mom decided to pass on this puppy and wait for another litter (A puppy with a crook in his tail... How cute is that?).

The email that was waiting for me was to tell me that if I still wanted a puppy, the little male pup with the crook in his tail was mine!

Immediately tears were streaming down my face because I believed, and still do, that he was a gift from you.

I pick up "Oliver" this coming Friday. Although this is a very exciting time for me, it is also bittersweet. For me, if I had a choice, I would want you and not a new puppy.

If I didn't believe so strongly that he is a gift from you, I don't think I could go through with it.

So , with your permission, I am picking up "Oliver" on Friday.

I miss you my sweet boy.

It's been 20 years since I had my own puppy. I don't even remember how to potty train a puppy! I have been doing a lot of reading and a lot of preparing for this newest angel soon to be meeting his new mom and sister "Gracie."

I'm guessing you won't mind too much if Oliver annoys Gracie with all his puppy energy! I imagine it will be a loving payback from you for all the teasing and grief Gracie sent your way!

I have a quote on this thread, and on your album page that says when a pup leaves you it takes with him a piece of your heart. When a new pup enters your life it gives you a piece of his heart. By the time I am old and gray I figure I should have the heart of a dog........ I should be so lucky....

Mom

[mytil]

Oh Kathleen,

Your letter brought tears to my eyes - so very touching. I know your Timmy did send you this gift because he knows how much love you still have to give and what a wonderful forever home this little pup will have. You better post photos. :)

Happy (((hugs))) to you.
Terry

[Timmy's Mom]

Thanks so much Terry. I will definitely be posting puppy pics!

Hugs to you too.

Kathleen

[addy]

Kathleen, dear Kathleen, it was simply meant to be; Oliver coming to you and Timmy overseeing it all.

The circle of life. Love renewed, new bonds to be forged. It is how it should be for Timmy would not want you to be sad in his name.

I am so excited for you. 20 years since you had a puppy? Piece of cake. It is like riding a bicycle, you never forget. :D:D It will all come back to you and Timmy will watch over your shoulder:)

Pictures, we need pictures.

Love and hugs and welcomes to Oliver. He has a large family waiting to greet him.

Love,
Addy

[Roxee's Dad]

Dear Kathleen,
I am so excited for you and your new little guy. I am sure Timmy will have some influence on the new member of your family. ;) He will be happy that you have once again shared your life and love.

Leslie once posted this for me and I think this is what you may have been referring to.

‎"It came to me that every time I lose a dog they take a piece of my heart with them. And every new dog who comes into my life, gifts me with a piece of their heart. If I live long enough, all the components of my heart will be dog, and I will become as generous and loving as they are. -Unknown"

[Timmy's Mom]

Thank you so much Addy and John. This forum is the only place where I felt safe enough to share my letter to Timmy and know that people would understand. I just need to stop crying every time I read your kind and caring responses!

I am so thankful.

Kathleen

[labblab]

Oh Kathleen, I don't know how I missed seeing your letter before this! But I am away from home right now on vacation, so my brain is a bit frazzled and my time on the forum is more limited :o. I am so touched by your letter to Timmy, though, and I am so excited to hear about Oliver's arrival :). Without any doubt in my mind, this is the step you are meant to be taking. Your love for Timmy will never diminish as your love for Oliver grows. Love knows no boundaries as it fills your life and your heart. There is always room for more.

Like the others, I can hardly wait for pictures!!! I will be thinking of you all tomorrow, with many smiles and well wishes! ;) :)

And I believe that Spirit Timmy will be right there, safely tucked in your heart, eager to welcome this new sweet soul who has come to join your family.

Big hugs,
Marianne

[Timmy's Mom]

Thank you so much Marianne. And thank you everyone who helped me the last few months. I am doing so much better now because of you.

Timmy has sent me an angel. I posted Oliver's picture on Timmy's album.


With deepest gratitude for all of your support,

Kathleen

[addy]

Hi Kathleen,

I was rereading your letters to Timmy and I was so touched by your love for him.

I am glad to hear you are doing better. Grief is so hard. Now, I want to hear all about Oliver.:D:D:D I too believe you were sent angel Oliver by precious Timmy. So anytime you want to share about the new angel, write away!!!!!!!

Hugs,
Addy

[labblab]

Kathleen, I've been out of town again, but just returned to see your sweet family portrait. I am so happy for you and for baby Oliver! He is such a cutie-pie. Just like Addy says, I would love to hear more about Oliver and Gracie, too. And we will never, ever forget Timmy. So please don't be a stranger, and do keep us updated as to how you all are doing, OK?

Sending tons of hugs,
Marianne

[Timmy's Mom]

It's been almost 9 months my sweet Timmy. I can't believe it. I still struggle my sweet boy. I wonder why our most beloved companions, who love us unconditionally, must be stricken with such a despicable disease. And why, as your mom, I had to feel so helpless. Last night I wrote one of your doctors and she was kind enough to send me a response. It helped. I'm guessing you had a hand in this. I also want you to know that Oliver is so sweet. Thank you for him too. Whenever I am sad about you, he knows it and immediately sits by my side until I am feeling better. I miss you every day my sweet boy.

Here is my email correspondence with Timmy's doctor. I'm sharing it because if anyone is struggling like me, you're not alone and I hope this is helpful:

Hi Dr. Otoni,

Please forgive me for writing you but you were the last doctor that was with Timmy and me, and, I think you knew him best during his time in the hospital.

I'm writing because I continue to struggle with my decision to let him go. I have lost dogs before in my life but never like this. I am haunted with the feeling that I should have given him a few more days, or, that I didn't do the right things for him at the right time.

I knew nothing about Cushings and yet I made so many decisions with his life--tests, medicines, MRI, trilostane...

Just so you know, I adopted a westie puppy back in August. His name is Oliver. I believe Timmy sent him to me. Oliver and Gracie are good friends. Oliver is an angel. He brings me great joy, even when he is naughty. He is sitting close to me right now as I write to you with tears streaming down my face.

For the most part, I am doing okay. I am having a great semester teaching.

It's been 9 months since I lost Timmy and there are still moments like it was just yesterday that I lost him.

When I lost my first dog (meaning the first dog that was mine and not a family dog), it was different. He was 14, I knew his age, unlike Timmy, and, he was completely healthy until the last month of his life. He was diagnosed with cancer, no hope for recovering, and I was advised to just give him hospice care at home. He hung in there with me for about 3 weeks after the diagnosis. I was able to be with him every day at the end of his life. Unlike Timmy who needed urgent care and spent most of his last weeks in the hospital--It's terrible not being able to see a loved one when they are sick. If I could have, I would have slept with him in the ICU every night he was there. And unlike the cancer, Cushings has so many variables and you just trust you are making the best decisions possible. And, unlike the cancer, there was always hope that the medicine would keep him alive for as much as two more years. I was blind-sided by his quick decline in health. I feel like I let my best friend down.

Thanks for listening.

Kathleen



Dear Kathleen,

I am very glad to hear that you adopted a new friend! This is great!

I know no dog will replace Timmy and Timmy was a very special dog and will never be forgotten. Unfortunately, they do not live as long as we would like and, in my opinion, once suffering outweighs comfort, it is our role to help them.

Timmy was a very lucky dog to have you as his owner and I am sure he brought a lot of joy to your life. I remember how "tired" he seemed about coming and going from the hospital, and I can assure you his quality of life had decreased a lot due to his disease. Sometimes, the kindest decision we can make is the hardest one. I am sure the decision you made was the best one for him. At that point we were only going to prolong the inevitable. Think about the great moments you've had together and how happy he is now! I am sure he sent Oliver to you so you could be happier!

Again, you are a great owner and have done everything you could to keep Timmy comfortable.

Please, let me know if you would like to talk in person, or if there is anything I can do for you.

Good luck with Oliver! I am sure he will fill your life with joy.

Sincerely,

Dr. Otoni

[mytil]

Oh Kathleen,

Thank you so much for sharing these wonderful letters. I know afterwards there are always questions, second-guessing, what ifs...but believe me over time it gets easier. Not that time makes memories fade, but in your heart you knew it was the right thing to do for Timmy and he knew it too. These little angels are so full of grace and teach us humans wonderful things - even when passing.

My continued (((hugs))) and I know Timmy sent you Oliver.
Terry

[Cyn719]

Kathleen - your letter was beautiful-- you knew Timmy was ready to be released - if he wasnt you wouldnt of done it - your heart told you it was time and you know you did the right thing - I have been there and have also questioned it - but deep down inside I really knew I did the right thing-I know you miss him so much but your have beautiful memories and the new little one is there for a reason - you will never forget but time will help and the little one will keep you busy!!! Hugssssssss

[labblab]

Hi Kathleen,

I just wanted to stop by to check in on you and Gracie and little Oliver! I've been to your photo album and love the new additions. Cherished memories of Timmy, and new memories made each day with Oliver...

I hope you'll soon be back with some more stories to share.

In the meantime, sending many hugs!
Marianne

[Timmy's Mom]

Thank you for checking in with me Marianne. That means a lot to me. I have had a great fall semester. This week though has been tough for me. Timmy's "gotcha day," the day I adopted him from Westie Rescue, is this Sunday. I can clearly see him that day, 7 years ago, sitting in the passenger seat next to his "foster mom". I really miss him. I'm going to be adding a bunch of poems I recently found. They really help me. Maybe they will help others.

I will plan to share stories and pictures of Gracie and my little angel Oliver. They both love their "mama" so much. They are the best of friends and they are a hoot when they play together. I haven't had a puppy in 20 years! Oliver has been a model citizen puppy-boy! I'm pretty sure Timmy is making sure I am well-loved!

For this week, I am contributing poems as a tribute to my sweet Timmy.

I hope all is well with you Marianne.

Love to you and your family.

Timmy's Mom, Kathleen

[Timmy's Mom]

For My Sweet Timmy

Lessons

If I greeted everyone happily
and never eyed with distrust
If I didn’t pass judgment
But accepted all
If I listened intently
With understanding in my eyes
If I brought comfort
All the time, no matter what
If I loved unconditionally
Without reservation
If I lived life more simply
Instead of worrying so much
If I played tirelessly
And didn’t work so hard
If I made people smile
Just by my presence in the room
If I experienced true joy
At the little things in life
Then I’d be the perfect friend
Just like my dog.

— Joanne Hirase-Stacey


Don't grieve too long for now I'm free
I'm following the path God set for me
I ran to him when I heard His call
I wagged my tail, I left it all.

I could not stay another day
To bark, to love, to romp or play
Games left that way must stay that way
I found such peace, it made my day.

My parting has left you with a void
So fill it with remembered joy
A friendship shared, your laugh, a kiss
Oh, yes, these things I too shall miss.

Be not burdened with times of sorrow
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow
My life's been full, you've given so much
Your time, your love and gentle touch.

Perhaps my time seemed all too brief
Don't lengthen it now with undue grief
Lift up your heart and share with me
God wanted me now, He set me free...

Author unknown


I stood by your bed last night, I came to have a peep.
I could see that you were crying, You found it hard to sleep.

I whined to you softly as you brushed away a tear,
"It's me, I haven't left you, I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."

I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea,
You were thinking of the many times, your hands reached down to me.

I was with you at the shops today, Your arms were getting sore.
I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more.

I was with you at my grave today, You tend it with such care.
I want to reassure you, that I'm not lying there.

I walked with you towards the house, as you fumbled for your key.
I gently put my paw on you, I smiled and said "it's me."

You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair.
I tried so hard to let you know, that I was standing there.

It's possible for me, to be so near you everyday.
To say to you with certainty, "I never went away."

You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew ...
in the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.

The day is over... I smile and watch you yawning
and say "goodnight, God bless, I'll see you in the morning."

And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,
I'll rush across to greet you and we'll stand, side by side.

I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see.
Be patient, live your journey out ... then come home to be with me.

~ Author unknown ~


A Parting Prayer

Dear Lord, please open your gates
and call St. Francis
to come escort this beloved companion
across the Rainbow Bridge.

Assign him to a place of honor,
for he has been a faithful servant
and has always done his best to please me.

Bless the hands that send him to you,
for they are doing so in love and compassion,
freeing him from pain and suffering.

Grant me the strength not to dwell on my loss.
Help me remember the details of his life
with the love he has shown me.
And grant me the courage to honor him
by sharing those memories with others.

Let him remember me as well
and let him know that I will always love him.
And when it's my time to pass over into your paradise,
please allow him to accompany those
who will bring me home.....

Amen.

TRIBUTE TO A BEST FRIEND

Sunlight streams through window pane
unto a spot on the floor....
then I remember,
it's where you used to lie,
but now you are no more.
Our feet walk down a hall of carpet,
and muted echoes sound....
then I remember,
It's where your paws would joyously abound.
A voice is heard along the road,
and up beyond the hill,
then I remember it can't be yours....
your golden voice is still.
But I'll take that vacant spot of floor
and lay them with the absent voice
and unused dish along the wall.
I'll wrap these treasured memorials
in a blanket of my love
and keep them for my best friend
until we meet above.


~ Author Unknown ~


THE SILHOUETTE
Author: Terri Onorato

The silhouette stands boldly
at the end of the hallway
ears erect, eyes like jewels
the tail, it softly sways.
This wouldn't be the first time
I've seen him stand nearby
his image clear as crystal
from the corner of my eye.
His visits I don't share with some
who think I've went over and beyond
the grieving time they deem I need,
they say I should move on.
I sometimes pity people who
have never felt just cause
to share the bond between two souls,
one with hands and one with paws.
The silhouette reminds me
what the others say is wrong
for as long as breath goes through me
there exists our mighty bond.
When the Keeper calls me home
and the Bridge gates open wide
our bond will deepen ten fold
as we walk through side by side.
You see, I am the lucky one
as I've been truly blessed
for someday we'll walk together
as eternal silhouettes.


A SPECIAL GIFT
Author Unknown

They're a very special gift; to be cherished and loved
You're chosen for each other; by God Himself above
It's a match made in heaven; so it can't be wrong
You're tied together by a bond; that's oh so strong

All they'll ever ask from you; is to be loved and fed
And at night make sure they have fresh water and a bed
In return for so little; the rewards are so great
You'll get a companion for life; with some very special traits

When you are lost; and the end seems so far away
They'll walk by your side; they'll help you find your way
When life gets you down; they can put a smile on your face
As they run you in circles; with their fast pace

You'll share the good with the bad; you'll be happy and sad
And through it all you have a friend; the best you ever had
You're time together; will be special and unique
It will be as priceless to you; as a rare antique

Then before you know it; the day will arrive
When suddenly your life; takes a steep dive
The furry friend who's been with you for all of these years
Has now passed on; and left you in tears

As you sit and wonder; what did I do
Why is this all happening to you
Into each of our lives; a little rain must fall
And you must be strong; to answer the call

Your little one's spirit has flown home on the wings of a dove
To a special place that awaits them; in heaven above
St. Francis will meet them; when they get home
He will take them to a meadow; where they're free to roam

There in the meadows; down by the pond
Your furry friend will remember his loving bond
He'll look into the water; then you appear
He can see you're frightened; he can feel your fear

Through the bond that still ties you; from heaven above
He looks down upon you; he sends you his love
Because you loved him; and because you care
Whenever you need him; he'll always be there

There in the meadows; they patiently wait for the day
When you will celebrate your life together; each and everyday
Waiting for that day; when you come walking back home
When together for an eternity; through the meadows you'll roam

In memory of my sweet Timmy
Jan 2004- Feb 2011

[labblab]

Oh, Kathleen, these poems are lovely. And I agree, for me, they do bring great comfort along with the tears. :o

I can imagine what an emotional day Sunday will be. Anniversaries are always powerful, and the "firsts" especially so. Just remember, we will be here if you need us! Today, tomorrow, Sunday, and any day after.

I can hardly wait to hear more about Gracie and Oliver. But over this weekend, I understand that your heart is especially devoted to Timmy. Your precious boy. I hope you will feel his spirit, always nearby whenever you need him, whenever you call. Your true companion forever and always.

Sending many hugs,
Marianne

[Squirt's Mom]

Hi Kathleen,

What lovely poems, thank you for sharing them. They do bring comfort as well a tears but those tears can help wash away some the pain as they fall from such depth of love.

I have no doubt that Timmy also is remembering that day he first came home to you. His little eyes remembers the kindness and love already shining in your eyes, his little ears remember the joy and gentleness he heard in your voice, and his little heart remembers how full it became when you held him in your arms close enough that he could hear the beating of your own heart; and he knew from all these things that he was home at last.

Hugs,
Leslie

[Timmy's Mom]

Wow. You all know exactly what to say at just the right time. What a wonderful gift.

Thanks so much Leslie.

Love to you and your family,

Timmy's mom, Kathleen

[addy]

Hi Kathleen,

I saw you have been posting and I wanted to say hello. I thought the poems were just beautiful;as beautiful as Timmy.

I hope the memories are getting easier, bringing comfort and some joy. The anniversaries are so hard. I am sending hugs and love to you. And I am shedding a few tears with you as well. I understand how much you love him.

love,
addy

[Timmy's Mom]

Thank you Addy. Thanks to you Leslie and Marianne I was able to get through some of the toughest months of my life last year. I am forever grateful. Timmy was such a mama's boy and I really miss that. Today is his "Gotcha Day" and he truly was a gift from heaven. The toughest part is that our time together was so brief. I believe that Timmy was sent to me for a reason--I needed him, and he needed me--I was able to give this sweet rescue dog his forever home, something he never experienced in the 5-8 years before finding me. I am so thankful the last years of his life could be filled with love--the least I could give him for all that I received in return.

Gracie has turned into a mama's girl since we lost Timmy and Oliver, my little puppy, is also a mama's boy--they are the best medicine that is for sure.

Love to you too.

Timmy's mom, Kathleen

[Cyn719]

Kathleen

The poems are just so warm and beautiful - Thank you so much for sharing them with us and I know they will help and touch others as they have touched me - I known this is such a difficult time for you - Timmy was a special dog for sure -- sending you love prayes and lots of hugsssss xoxoxo

looking forward to the pics and stories of Gracie and Oliver

[Timmy's Mom]

Thank you so much Cindy. I found it very important this last year to try and find literature about heaven--a heaven that included all of our loved ones. I found one book, Heaven is for Real by Todd Burpo, and then I found the poems I posted above. All of this has made me feel so much better.

I just went to your profile and noticed we both have November birthdays! My d.o.b is 11/10/60--just passed that half-century mark! I love your pictures of Penny--she sure looks happy and loved. Oliver and Gracie also received bully sticks from "Santa!"

Hugs to you.

Kathleen

[Cyn719]

Thanks Kathleen

Yes she is my baby. Love her! She is spoiled for sure! Loves her bully sticks. I just saw your pics. Timmy was a beautiful dog! He was so lucky to have found such a warm and wonderful mom! Love the pics of Oliver and Gracie too! Would love to see more pics of them and and hear some stories.

Love and hugs xo

[labblab]

Dear Kathleen,

Thinking of you and sweet Timmy on this day. I know that anniversaries can be especially hard, so we are here if you need us!

Sending many hugs your way, always in loving memory of your precious boy ~
Marianne

[Harley PoMMom]

In loving memory of your sweet boy, Timmy.

Sending huge and loving hugs,
Lori

[Bosco's Human]

I'm very sorry about your boy. I'm sending you big hugs.
Sam

[Cyn719]

Kathleen

Remembering your precious Angel Timmy

Sending you lots of thoughts, hugs love and prayers

Xoxoxo