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In Loving Memory "We hold them in our arms as long as we can, then we hold them in our hearts forever."

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  #11  
Old 05-03-2013, 05:10 PM
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Default Re: There's only one Fella

my heart goes out to you. I am so sorry for your loss. Keep writing and let it out. It is like part of you dies with them. I lost my baby Sept 9,2012. He died in my arms. I still cry and miss him every day. Once they are in your heart, they never leave. We are here for you.
Hugs and love Sonja and Angel Apollo.
feel what you need to feel.
go to a support lose group if you can.
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  #12  
Old 05-04-2013, 07:08 PM
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Default Re: There's only one Fella

Hi Fella
Such a beautiful day today-poor guy,you barely got out all winter with the 2 blizzards we had.I still remember being petrified in bed,you by my side,no electricity with 3 feet of snow pounding down on us.I remember hearing the roar of the ocean and holding on to you so tight.You were always there for me little one.You were so smart,you would hear something just once and remember it.You learned how to sit and give mommy your paw without ever being taught!

Remember being out and seeing the coyote a few months ago?Mommy was scared-not my Fella!!You stood guard by those windows,ready for action,pacing back and forth,letting that little bugger know that you meant business if he came back!I loved that and so many things about you my boy!You took it upon yourself to be the protector of us.I never expected that of a 20lb little guy but you took your job very seriously.While Gracie and Buster snoozed,you were right up at the crack of dawn with mom.I would beg you to stay in bed,under the warm blankets,but wherever mom's going,Fella is going too!We had so much alone time together while the others slept.Lazy buggers!!.I miss you so much honey and I will always love you but you already know that..
Hope you're running around playing with Kelsey and having loads of fun and lots of "something good to eat".Always remember what I used to tell you...mommy lovvvvves Fella!.
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  #13  
Old 05-09-2013, 07:14 PM
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Hi Fella
I know it's been a couple of days since I wrote-sometimes writing makes me sadder,maybe because it forces me to acknowledge that you're really gone.Even though I may not write,I think about you everyday,sometimes all day.I miss you so much.When I go to grab Gracie's leash,your coat and leash are right there.I can't help but lean in close,close my eyes,and smell you.Oh,I can still smell you-I hope your scent is there forever.

Its only been 3 wks tomorrow but it feels like forever since I looked in your eyes and held you.I got your puzzle today!!It was and easy one but I was so happy to find it today.I just can't used to you not being here.I still grab "your" treat at night and then sadly realize,you're not here to eat it.I have to go to NY tomorrow and get all our stuff that we managed to salvaged from the hurricane.I'm going to see all our doggie friends-Jelly Roll,Mia,Colby,Zoe and Strudel.Remember mommy found Charlie in the same place she found you?Charlie became our next door neighbor when we lived in NY and you hated him!!We used to laugh and say the two of you must of have been in opposite gangs when you ran the streets of the Rockaways!.Well,Dottie lost Charlie too,so be on the lookout and BE NICE my boy!.It will be sad to be in NY and be without you.That was where mommy found you and "captured" you-always told you Nov 8th 2002 was the best day of my life when I found you my little one!You made the past 10 1/2 years so happy for me.So many memories.We will miss you in the car tomorrow,yelling at all the tractor trailers along rte 95.You didn't like anything bigger than you!.I love you so much and miss you everyday.You're gonna feel ALOT of love this weekend from all your gang in NY as well as Aunt Patty,Lorraine and Donna-they loved you almost as much as mom!
Love you my boy!!
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  #14  
Old 05-15-2013, 01:18 AM
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Default Re: There's only one Fella

Fella
I love you and miss you everyday.Went to where I found you this past weekend.Oh,how I wish I could find you again and do it all over!I miss you and love you so much little guy.I'm having a hard time writing today.Life seems so empty for all of us without you my little Fella.I can't write without starting to cry.Grace and Buster are sitting beside me in "your" spot-I love you all so much!!I hope you know that even tho I don't write everyday,you are always with me every second of every day.I close my eyes and just think about holding you and kissing your little face.I love you little one.
Hope you can feel my kisses
Love,
Mommy,Gracie and Buster
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  #15  
Old 05-15-2013, 01:52 PM
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Default Re: There's only one Fella

Fella
Life feels so empty without you.Nothing really matters anymore now that you're gone.Of course,Mommy loves Grace and Buster but that's about all I care about these days.Seems like life is passing me by and all I want to do is get you back.With each passing day,you feel furthur and furthur away from us.Every time I write to you,I start sobbing.I just want you back Fella.I can't imagine having to live my whole life without you being a part of it.

Please watch over Gracie.She is so out of sorts since you've been gone.I think she is trying to step into your shoes,and she is not happy!She doesn't want to watch mommy,watch the house-that was your job.You know Gracie-she just wants to be silly and play and have no responsibility.I think she misses you being in charge and taking care of me.She loves me but she was not ready to take on this job like you so readily did when Kelsey passed.I sometimes think getting another dog might take some heat off of Grace and she can relax and be her silly old self again.I look everywhere Fella-I keep thinking if it's the right thing and meant to be,well then surely you will put a new baby in my path.I wish I could find YOU again though my little guy.You were the best boy anyone could ever hope for.

We all miss you so much-life will never be the same for any of us again without you Fella.You feel so far away and that makes me so sad.I keep looking for you Fella-just give mommy some sign that you're okay.I love you my little boy.Remember I always used to say-Mommy lovvvvvves Fella!.XOXOXO
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  #16  
Old 05-16-2013, 05:31 PM
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SachiMom SachiMom is offline
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Default Re: There's only one Fella

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fellasmom View Post
I keep thinking if it's the right thing and meant to be,well then surely you will put a new baby in my path.
In time your heart will heal a little, you will walk that path with Fella watching over you and find another special friend to hold and love.
Hugs ~ Mary Ann
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  #17  
Old 05-17-2013, 09:26 PM
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Default Re: There's only one Fella

Fella
Four wks ago today was one of the saddest days of my life.I miss you so much honey.Today was mommy's first birthday without you.Nothing seems right without you here.I still can't believe that you're gone.Today I had to wash the blanket that was on the couch,it was long overdue.Mommy slept with it since you've been gone because it smelled like you.I sobbed today as I just couldn't stop smelling it.I closed my eyes and just smelled that blankie.Oh,Fella!I can't stand it that you're not here with us!I just sob and sob and miss you more each day.Gracie and Buster have been so good and Buster sleeps exactly where you used to.What a wonderful loving boy Buster is!Gracie has changed so much since you've been gone.She is trying to be like you now and she doesn't like it one bit!You loved watching all of us and being in charge.Gracie is trying her best but I know she is daydreaming about running upstairs and playing and being her silly self.She is now trying to steal Buster's food as I write this!I can just picture you beside me,watching her and rolling your eyes and thinking-'oh no,what trouble is she getting herself into now!'...I love you my little Fella!

As I was getting gas today,I saw a sign for the lottery which is up to 400 million I think.I never play,but maybe since it's mommy's birthday,I'll get lucky.I played your birthday,my birthday,Kelsey's,Gracie's and Buster's.Wish me luck sweet boy!

Well,even though I know how much you miss us,you must love being with your girl Kelsey.Give her kisses from mom baby,okay?I love you little one.Always and forever my little Fella XOXOXO
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  #18  
Old 05-19-2013, 07:19 PM
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Default Re: There's only one Fella

Fella
I miss you little boy.Everytime I start to write to you,I start to cry and just can't stop.That's the only reason sometimes I don't write to you.But,you are always on my mind and in my heart-ALL the time little one.Today was exactly one month that I lost you.Oh,how much I miss you my dear baby!The pain of not having you in my life is unimaginable.I try to think about all those wonderful years we had together-I wouldn't trade them for the world!You are the best boy in the whole world.Grace still isn't the same without you-she's had you as a big brother her whole life so it's hard for her,as it is for all of us.Sometimes,I don't even think she likes me anymore,she's just so different now.Nothing is the same without you.Oh,Fella,I wish this pain would lessen.I feel like you've been gone forever sometimes.

Was that a sign from you last night?I got cheesecake in NY and right on the menu,was a baby sized portion called "the little Fella"!I couldn't believe what I was seeing!I just staring at that menu in disbelief because that's exactly what I call you!I hope it was you fella cuz mommy noticed it right away!!Keep showing yourself to me okay baby?I love you so much.I wish I could just go back in time,maybe I could have done things differently.I just hope you know how much I love you.This month I have barely existed without you.Here's mommy,sobbing again!!Goodnight my sweet boy,I will love you forever.Please never leave us,always stay close.Thanks.
Love and kisses to you and Kelsey
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  #19  
Old 05-19-2013, 07:28 PM
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Default Re: There's only one Fella

Wow! I love the little fella cheesecake!. Of course that was a message just for you!

Hugs,
Kathy and Buddy
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  #20  
Old 05-20-2013, 10:16 PM
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Default Re: There's only one Fella

Patty,
I read your message on my thread. I do not doubt for a moment that the cheesecake was definitely Fella's message to you. You have been asking for a sign. That one couldn't have been any more perfect! You were out having a nice time, then the sign. That is the way it was meant to be! Fella is watching over you and wants you to be happy again. He will always be with you Patty where it matters the most, in your heart!

Love and Hugs,
Kathy and Buddy
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They are never really ours. They are on loan for a very short time. Make time to love and play everyday. Create memories to last forever.
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