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In Loving Memory "We hold them in our arms as long as we can, then we hold them in our hearts forever."

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  #41  
Old 11-11-2016, 10:55 PM
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apollo6 apollo6 is offline
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Default Re: Goodbye, My Little Heart

Dear Cathrine, you are not crazy. Right after Apollo died I had to move my mother. I tried to hold it in as the tears would slip out. I could not wit to get home be alone and grieve. For months, I would cry for no reason. I hated going home because Apollo wasn't there. You are going through the stages of grief. Let out the feelings. It is normal. You lost your best friend, companion, confident. So why would not feel the way you are. That is why you are here. To be comforted, loved , reassured. We have all been there.
Love Sonja
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  #42  
Old 11-12-2016, 09:35 PM
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tank&kat tank&kat is offline
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Default Re: Goodbye, My Little Heart

I'm sorry it's been a while since I posted. Unfortunately, I know about panic attacks all too well and it certainly sounds you had a horrible one. It is a normal response for now but you don't want it to go on much longer and the fact that it has gotten worse has me genuinely worried. Loosing Tank was traumatic for me. He was with me for 17 years and things are nothing like they used to be. All I want is for everything to be normal again but every day, that reality seems less likely to happen. And that reality, crushes me to pieces. I know I will have to seek professional help soon, not just for the loss of my boy but for things that went unnoticed in my life while he was with me.

I hope this is temporary for you because I know just how horrifying it can be. The depth and intensity of your feelings.. completely normal. The way you described your anxiety is something to keep in eye on. I'll help you.

~Kat

Last edited by tank&kat; 11-12-2016 at 09:59 PM.
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  #43  
Old 11-12-2016, 11:36 PM
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LittleArfinAnnie LittleArfinAnnie is offline
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Default Re: Goodbye, My Little Heart

Kay, one of the last sentences in your post really resonated with me because it mentioned something that I actually just became aware of this evening on my own . . . as I was thinking.

I do a LOT of that lately, it would appear. ( ! )

One of the many blessings of a canine companion, in my case, Annie, is that they help us remember to stay in the moment. They don't dwell on the past ( with whatever memories it may contain ) nor do they worry about the future ( which is a no-fail recipe for anxiety ).

And I'd have to say that I really followed her lead on that life lesson because that was the only place that genuine peace and serenity could be found.

While she certainly wasn't "credentialed", she almost filled the role of a Service Dog in that regard.

Nothing else mattered when that little Dachshund was trotting along beside me . . . or curled up ( snoring ) against me.

I'm sure that I'm making it sound like everything else in my life went to hell in a handcart . . . but that's not the case in the least.

It was all good . . . bills got paid, groceries got purchased, meals got planned, laundry got done, and I started a small business that I was able to run out of my home so that Annie was never alone.

Now that she's no longer with me, everything is still getting done and that small business of mine has grown in leaps and bounds ( my salvation, actually ).

But it feels as if I no longer have that little "shock absorber" between me and the thoughts that start to bubble to the surface. Somehow, just looking into that precious little face put everything into the proper perspective.

She took me out of myself and nurtured ME just as much as I nurtured and protected her . . .

I think I've just answered my own question as to whether I'm going to get another dog or not !

Your post mirrored my own insights this evening.

I love it when that happens !

I've worked with a therapist before, Kat, and I learned many valuable coping skills during my time with her, too. Chief among the "tools" in that toolbox is mindfulness. Annie helped me perfect that skill, too !

It's "funny" ( in a back-handed kind of way ) that I forgot all about it in the midst of processing this grief. My poor old head seemed stuck in trying to make sense of this loss . . . instead of surrendering to it and grounding myself to come back to the moment.

You have no idea how validating your post was for me this evening. Thank you !

Now perhaps I'll be able to sleep tonight . . . 😊
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  #44  
Old 11-13-2016, 12:08 AM
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tank&kat tank&kat is offline
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Default Re: Goodbye, My Little Heart

I hope so! Give that brilliant, overthinking mind a rest for tonight and get some sleep. We all have your best interest here and are just looking out for you. I will always be here if you ever need to talk xx

~Kat

Last edited by tank&kat; 02-18-2017 at 02:40 PM.
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