I understand the ache, for me, I learned to live with it and distract myself. Still so new for you.

Some things we work through, some things we bury. I knew I did not deal with my father's death, boy after 15 years I found some of his clothes and did that make me acutely aware of how I suppressed the hurt.

Maybe it is better to feel the pain now, go through the mourning.

Love you