Letter to Boncuk

[SasAndYunah]

I wanted to repost the letter I wrote to Boncuk, after he passed away... He's the one who brought me here, he's the one that makes me keep coming back


Dear Boncuk,

3 years ago you came into my life...battered, bruised and hurting. You were so small, so wounded. The physical wounds would soon disappear but your emotional wounds were too deep, too severe to heal. It took you a year to have faith and trust in me. And finally, when your life started to look a bit brighter, the epilepsy struck...with such force and impact. That second year we fought a battle together to get the epilepsy under control, and finally we did. You could again sleep peacefully at night without the seizures taking over, leaving you unconscious and in spasms. We were entering our third year together and life seemed to be good. With me at your side, you felt safe and secure but always ready to jump in my arms as soon as you detected the slightest hint of "danger"... You would hold on to me so tightly, your front paws around my neck, your hind paws around my waist...your little face hiding in my neck...not able to look at anyone, too scared...too afraid. Marked forever by the hands of humans...or at least that is what they call themselves. Your eyes were always searching for mine, looking for courage, comfort, security...
But you had faith in me and together we could face the entire world, side by side..you and I.
You were happy in your own special way....

Two and half years had passed and another condition of yours had gotten worse, you trachea was now collapsed for 80% over the entire length and I could clearly see that this was affecting you. You couldn't run around as you used to do...could not longer jump over tree trunks...but still, we were happy, you would ride on my lap when you got too tired to walk. Your warm and soft body, curled up on my lap, the wind playing with your ears...your eyes looking at me....smiling... Yes, we were happy.

Then the Cushing's started to take it's toll from you. We both tried so very hard...all the vets tried so hard...but in the end, your tiny body couldn't take it anymore and I had to let you go. I didn't want to...because you needed me so much. Who would protect you...who would look after you... From the day you came into my life, we hadn't been separated once... I never went anywhere without you, you would panic when I was not there. So how could I let you go now?

But then I realised, that in your short life so much had happened. You were hit, beaten, kicked, had boiled water thrown over you. So much pain, hurt and fear was inflicted on you. And now one disease after another turning your life in a continuous and endless battle. And eventhough I tried so hard...you would never find real peace here. The things I wanted for you the most, peace, no more fear, no more hurt, no more battles...I could finally give you now.
And so I let you go. You were still so young, only 5...

My little guy, I hope that you now are running and playing and jumping again, no longer knowing fear or feeling pain. It hurts without you here...but I know that one day...you will jump into my arms again and that I will feel your kisses on my face again.

Be safe and happy Cukie...till we meet again.

Always,
Saskia.

[SasAndYunah]

I have two (bad quality) video's of Cukie on my pc...made with a webcam, all I had in those days

In the first video you can see how I am training him to say "bye bye"...very cute

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLxaVSQwxfk


And in this video you can see why he would have been a great service dog, he was my little helper. Gosh, he was so special

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ASL2BttGRWQ


Saskia and...Boncuk

[acushdogsmom]

Oh Saskia! Thank you so much for re-posting your "Letter to Boncuk" and also for those two wonderful videos! I'm so glad you have some video of Boncuk.

I just watched both of the videos several times and what a handsome and wonderful boy he was, your Cukie.

I also always loved your avatar photo of Boncuk http://www.k9cushings.com/forum/albu...&pictureid=523 (maybe you can put that avatar back up here?) and that photo of Boncuk in the field full of yellow flowers. http://www.k9cushings.com/forum/albu...&pictureid=522

(((hugs!)))

P.S. I love all of the photos in your photo albums, of Boncuk and Sogno and Yunah! There are some photos you've posted in those albums that I don't think I've ever seen before.

[gpgscott]

Saskia,

I had never read the letter on the other site, guess it happened long before I joined.

Boncuk's story is bittersweet, and I am so glad he was yours at the end of his time here and will be yours forever.

Thank you very much for finding and posting the story.

Scott

[SasAndYunah]

Cushy....thanks! And hugs

I hadn't been to Cukie's file on my pc for years now...but then tonight I decided it was time. I still can't look at his photos without crying... I have his pictures in my home, those I am used to by now. Anyway I opened the file and that's when I saw the videos

Same with Sogno, hadn't been to his file since he passed away, 2 years ago now. They both suffered so unneccesary...Cukie by the hands and deeds of awfully cruel humans and Sogno...well, Sogno probably shouldn't even have been born, so many health issues with him. Marianne saw it too when she saw his picture for the first time...he was an old soul. He was an old dog in a puppies body...but good grief, what a kind and gentle soul

I couldn't quite remember which pics I had already posted, back then...and which ones I hadn't so I just picked a few And yes, I will get that avatar back...

All my best to you and yours,

Saskia and Yunah

[SasAndYunah]

Hi Scott

Cukie passed away a little over 3 years ago now...so yes, it was "before your time" His story indeed is a bittersweet one... I learned about him through some friends of mine. They told me the story of this little dog living on the streets in Istanbul, Turkey, badly abused and about to die. I didn't hesitate for a moment and bought him an airplainticket Istanbul - Amsterdam so he could fly to The Netherlands to come live with me He was the worst abused dog I have ever encountered and a "difficult" dog because of it but I could see in his eyes that he desperately wanted to trust and love...he was just too scared and afraid. He was a kind dog who, because of all the horrible abuse he had suffered, had no other option but to be "aggressive", the only way he had survived his tough 2 first years of life... But underneath I could sense the kindness in him and I hung in there, with him. And he hung in there, with me After a year he was ready to trust me. But apart from me, he never has trusted anyone else for the rest of his life. He remained a severely "fear-aggressive" dog and was not to be trusted with anyone... Which came in handy one night...when 2 men tried to break into my house, Cukie single handedly chased them away And he was a small dog...but people would refer to him as "the devil dog". As you could see on the videos, to me, he was a wonderful dog, always at my side, helping me...but everyone else was not to be trusted and fair game to Boncuk Whenever I had people in my house, I would wear a belt around my waist and tie Cukie with a leash to that belt, the only way he felt "secure" and wasn't going to attack anyone. With the "umbellicalcord" he wouldn't even look or notice the people visiting, he was focussed on me alone, but he needed that "connection" to give him security. Because of this connection I couldn't just walk away and leave him with those scary people for example...the connection was always there to guide him and make him feel he was constantly safe and close to me

Ohhhhh the stories I could tell about that little guy...

Saskia and Yunah

[Harley PoMMom]

Saskia,

How can people be so merciless and hateful to these four-legged furbabies when all they ask for is our love...I don't know... I just don't understand our human race.

You are indeed, a very special person, so very kind and caring with a loving heart that Boncuk could see and knew he could trust. I'm so glad that the two of you found each other and you were able to show Boncok how love is supposed to feel.

Thank you so much for sharing your videos, I enjoyed them very much, Boncuk was a sweetie-pie, his eyes were always on you.

Hugs to you and Yunah.
Lori

[SasAndYunah]

Thanks Lori

I so agree with you. At times, I think I could just kill some of those horrible creatures, calling themselves humans. But then again, I don't...of course

Eventhough I couldn't give Boncuk a life without fear (after all, we weren't alone on this world ), which I wanted so much for him....at least I am at peace with the thought he died knowing what it was like to be loved and to be able to trust...even just one person. No living soul on this planet should die without knowing what it is like to be loved, to feel safe and secure...

I would take him on walks when there were as little people as possible, The worse the weather, the more fun we had during our walks...since we wouldn't encounter other people Till this day, I strangely enjoy walks during bad weather, remembering my Cukie

Saskia and Yunah

[Bailey's Mom]

Saskia-
I just read your letter to Boncuk and it brought me to tears. I then looked at the videos of you training him to fetch and to say goodbye. He could have been Palmer's twin. In the yellow field picture, they don't look too much alike, but the training one is uncanny. You wrote a beautiful letter.

-Susan

[SasAndYunah]

Susan, thanks

Cukie looked like a poodle but then again, you could tell he wasn't a real poodle I would refer to him as a "Turkish" poodle I later found out he was a Lagotto Romagnolo (mix?) and that he originally was from Belgium Poor thing, went from Belgium to Turkey and then from Turkey to The Netherlands...he crossed most of Europe His Turkish owner, who was an international truckdriver, had "won" Boncuk when he was just a puppy in a pub in Belgium with a game of cards. He then took Boncuk with him in his truck and apparently they drove all through Europe together. Till this man died and Boncuk was left behind in the appartment. They called the son to tell him to come pick up Boncuk from the appartment. The son didn't want Boncuk and brought him to a petstore to be sold. Next day, the petstore owner returns to the store, only to find Boncuk had escaped from the cage and disappeared. Boncuk turned up at the appartment again, in search for his owner. This time, the people living there start beating and kicking him to make Boncuk go away. But he didn't. He kept sneaking into to main entrance to lay in front of the door of the appartment where he used to live with his owner. The so is called again and refuses to come get Boncuk again. So, finally the doorman of the appartment complex decides to take Boncuk for a carride and miles and miles outside Istanbul, he throws Boncuk out of the car, thinking this time the dog will be gone for good. Well, that was a mistake because weeks and weeks later, Boncuk again shows up at the appartment complex, emaciated, paws raw and bloody and still no one had mercy with this little dog. They again kicked and beat him, threw boiling water over him and finally Boncuk decides he will go live underneath an abondoned car across the street, from where he can watch the main entrance...still hoping to see his owner. One evening, a woman walks home from work and sees a 7 / 8 year old girl, beat a dog with a wooden stick. She stops and asks the girl why she is beating that dog and the girl (turned out she was the daughter of the doorman) explains to the woman that they want the dog to go away but that he won't. The woman looks at this tiny, emaciated, frozen in fear, injured dog and decides to take the dog home with her. Where she lives, she is not allowed animals so she calls a friend who works in a shelter and the agree that the woman will bring Boncuk to the shelter the next day. So, Boncuk was brought to the shelter but he was miserable there, wouldn't eat or drink, wouldn't let anyone near him and...escaped. Only to again show up at the appartment complex, the only home he had ever known. This was repeated a few times, Boncuk was caught, brought to the shelter again and escaped again...and every time he returned to the appartment complex, where he had to endure more abuse. Everyone was desperate and they didn't know what to do with this little dog...and this is when I learned about him. So, I bought him a planeticket, had him flown to The Netherlands...and well, the rest you know

His story is about the most incredable ones I know...and his life is one of the most miserable ones I have known. And then, the years after he came to live with me, he went from one disease to another...it was neverending with him. He never got a break from misery...

Yet, he was incredably funny And smart!!! He taught himself all kinds of things, simply by watching me. I clearly remember one day, I was in the kitchen making coffee when I heard the water running in the bathroom... I thought I was just imagining things but went to look anyway. And what I saw...I will never forget There was Boncuk, he had jumped up on my shower chair and had turned on the water, all by himself...enjoying his shower From that day on, he took daily showers, hahahaha.... Needless to say, he absolutely adored water

My very very special little Boncuk

Sas and Yunah