Re: My Princess Is Gone But Not Forgotten
Dear Carol,
I read your post when it first appeared then went and had myself another good cry. Another, you ask? Yes, another because that day, like nearly every day since May of '14, had started without my Sweet Bebe, Squirt. I cry just about every morning on waking knowing she isn't here and it isn't unusual for me to cry several times during the day or to cry myself to sleep at nite missing her so very much.
Squirt came to me when she was 5 weeks old, saved from drowning because the owner of her mom was ashamed her show dog had a litter of mixed breed puppies, even tho the dad was also a show dog. Squirt was supposed to be my daughter's dog but my child was out of town when Squirt was delivered and by the time she got back home, it was much too late - Squirt and I had bonded, so Squirt and Gia became sissys instead.
In 2006, my daughter was found dead in her home, no known cause. I thought I would die, too, but Squirt literally saved my life during the darkest period I have ever known or can imagine ever knowing. She gave me purpose, a reason to keep waking up every morning and face another day. Thru her illness she brought me in contact with people around the world who I learned to feel very close to - something that is quite difficult for me. Tho few could empathize with the loss of a child they could understand the bond Squirt and I had, and that meant the world.
Squirt was with me a little more than 16 years and the day I had to let her go be with her Sissy was oh so terrible, a day that is still fresh in my mind. Those "what ifs" and "maybe ifs" continue to rattle around in my head along with the frequent accusation of "What did you DO?!" But the sane part of me knows there was no other choice that honored my Sweet Bebe and the love we shared, a love that will never come again.
The tears we cry today honor our sweet girls and that deep abiding love we shared with them. They are an expression of a bond few can understand....and those who don't understand have no idea what they are lacking or missing out on. They are content to go thru life living on the surface. We are blessed, Carol, to know such a love, to be able to contain such a love, to recognize it, and honor it as we have and continue to do so with every tear that falls.
It is my firm belief that when my job in this life is done I will hold my child and Squirt, and all those I love, once again, that when I walk thru that Veil they will both be standing there in the forefront waiting to greet me. We will go thru eternity together always. You, too, will hold your sweet baby girl again and walk thru all of time with her. Tho the days left to us in this life may be difficult at times, there is a shining future ahead when we will be reunited.
Til then, we cry our tears in honor of the great love we have known...but we don't cry alone.
Hugs,
Leslie
"May you know that absence is full of tender presence and that nothing is ever lost or forgotten." John O'Donahue, "Eternal Echoes"
Death is not a changing of worlds as most imagine, as much as the walls of this world infinitely expanding.