15 year old Miniature Dachshund - Roxie is now in heaven

[molly muffin]

Welcome back and thank you for coming back to us to share your thoughts.

I think you are going through what each of us goes through and that is the "what if" I have certainly thought those same things, what if I'd started earlier, what if i had done this instead of that, would I still have my furmuffin. I don't know. I will never know. None of us will and I don't know anyone who doesn't have the 'what if's'
I have to think that we all make the best decisions we can at the time with the information we have.

What I would urge you to remember, is a couple things. You had good reasons for the decisions that you made at that time and the most important thing of all, is
"what if" works two ways. What if you Had given the vetroyl and based on her health and the reasons you made the choices you did at that time, what if there was a reaction, what if things had been worse by starting the vetroyl.

These are things that we will none of us ever know, "what if's" are like that by their very nature.

So, give yourself a hug. You made every decision in Roxies best interest. You know that in your heart, we know that here. Damn I hurt these anniversaries too.

[DoxieMama]

Hi. Thank you for coming back to share your thoughts with us. I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet Doxie-girl, and for your regrets.

My own doxie passed away approx. 8 months after diagnosis with Cushing's also. He was 14 years and 5 days old. I treated him with Trilostane (compounded Vetoryl) but only for a short time. I'm not sure if he didn't tolerate it or what... we decreased the dose twice and then stopped altogether after a frightening afternoon a few months after diagnosis. I do not believe that what happened to my boy was because of the medication. But I am kind of on the other side of the fence, having treated my doxie and then wondered if perhaps I should have withheld it, due to all the vet visits and tests.

However, something Marianne said brought tears to my eyes. I love my boy with all my heart. (I first typed "loved" my boy with all my heart but had to change it. I still love him. And it brings me to tears, even now.) Anyway... her post, which I will repeat here:

when those bad thoughts try to take over, I close my eyes and say to myself: We loved him dearly, and he had a good life. Truly, I think that’s the best gift we can give our doggies, and I know that’s the gift you gave Roxie.

I might have more to say but I can't remember... and I can't see the screen anymore.

Many many hugs.
Shana

[Squirt's Mom]

Oh honey, you did not let your sweet Roxie down in any way. You made every decision for her from a place of love and no decision made from that place is ever wrong. We never know what the results would be if we had chosen a different path - they could have been better and they could have been MUCH worse. I have had 2 pups diagnosed with Cushing's and I treated both of them....and I have deep regrets with both of them. All those questions you ask yourself about Roxie I ask myself about Squirt and Trinket. "But what if I had done ______?" "Maybe if I hadn't done _____ things would have been better." I have "what if'd" myself into despondency with both of them....and with several others who didn't have Cushing's.

To me, this is an expression of just how deeply we love our babies - we still can't let go, we will never be able to let go....and we shouldn't. But neither should we dwell in that place of guilt and self-reproach. We truly didn't earn the right to stay in that place for very long. We did what we believed would give our babies the best chance at a decent life. We did those things because we love them....and they know that. And these anniversaries always bring back the agony, pain, and questions...always. We relive "that day" once again and once again feel all those emotions as if they were brand new. It is easy to wander back to that place of guilt and self-reproach during these times...but we must not linger. Take a peek, a deep breath of that fetid air, then take that next step toward the light, toward that shared love that will last for all time. Cry, for every tear we shed honors our babies and the love that grew between us. Reach deep inside for those memories of the happy times and let your heart rise in joy.

And remember, one day we will be with our babies again. On that day they themselves will tell us how much they appreciate ALL we did on their behalf.

Hugs,
Leslie

[Joan2517]

My Lee died a week later. It will be 2 years on the 19th. She was 14 years, 11 months old. She was on Vetoryl for only 2 months and I have my regrets about that. All of her things are still around me and I miss her every single day. She was my heart dog. I was hoping the two year anniversary would be better than the first, but it's going to be just as bad...I'm dreading it.

Many hugs to you.
Joan