Apollo,missing you,1 year, 5 months

[molly muffin]

Sonja, sending you big hugs. I wish it wasn't so hard. I don't think we ever Don't miss them.

love

[apollo6]

Major changes, will start closing the business. Like Addy, I am so exhausted from the last few years, dealing with Apollo's cushing,his death,lossing the house in a fire, moving my mother to another senior apt,down sizing her things, will have to do in a year, now closing the business and every time it takes a little more of my health and energy.
You are always by my side,Angel. And thanks to Addy, I will not throw any of your things away at this time . I also have the stress of dealing with Ariels anxiety. He starts whining and crying for no reason. I have been recommended a trainer who works with shelter and rescue dogs for years. And the first thing she said was we need to get Ariel to feel safe and calm. Apollo I feel you sent Ariel to me because you knew I need him and he needed me. My little angel.
Will be busy working on the business . Thank you all for your love and support.
Sonja,Apollo and little Ariel

[Squirt's Mom]

Take good care of yourself and that sweet boy. Drop in when you can and let us know how things are going. You're family, ya know. You can really leave.

[addy]

Dearest Sisiter, I may not be here as much but I think of you a lot.

over the years, you have provided much support and comfort and I thank you for that.

All our struggles take a toll on us but one day we will find Life to be more even keel.

One good thing, who knew I would embrace gray?

Love you

[apollo6]

Dear baby boy,
I can not believe it will be three years,September since your passing and I will always have you in my mind,heart and soul. I miss you so much still and always will. Ther I go with the tears.
It has not been easy,Mom fell again,and I see her becoming more frail, daddy has heart and lung disease,we are putting up the store and will start liquidating the business. And it will all be on me. I would come to you and get strength from your presence and you would lick my tears. And you are not here. Your little brother is the opposite, fearful,unsure and looks to me for reassurance and strength.
My sweet,sweet Angel. Turning another corner in the journey of life,hard to say"I am a senior"
On the fun side,I tried a Microsoft app called "Guess my age" by down loading different pictures of my self . The different pictures showed a range in age from 44 to 70!!! What a ego inflater.
Miss you Mommy's little angel. I am blessed to have had you in my life. Miss you all.
Sonja,Apollo,Ariel

[addy]

A humming bird came to our yard this morning. Apollo stopped by to say hi and let me know he and Zoe are just fine

Hugs

[apollo6]

Dear Addy
Thanks for that. Apollo and Zoe will always be with us.
I thought I could throw all of Apollo's medical records away today. The tears just would not stop. I had flashbacks of what he had to endure. Oh my baby boy. Maybe I will just have to do another day.
I don't know why I have so much pain trying to throw it away. Almost 3 years and I still can't do it.
Every know and then I see a butterfly or a humming bird and fell you are saying I 'm okay Mom. We are given these little angel on loan from God and the imprint they leave on our souls is forever.
Daddy is not doing so well, heart and lung disease. I did not think it would be this hard. Mom has health issues I am dealing with also, she fell again 3 weeks ago and I am wondering if she can still live by herself. We need to sell the building and close down the business another big undertaking. And once all that is over, we plan to sell our condo (your home baby boy) , but I take you with me. Like Addy so much at one time.
I realize know, I will always miss you. You were one a million, so strong so regal, you fought so hard for me like Zoe. Love always your Mom
Sonja

[Budsters Mom]

I haven't been able to get rid of any of Buddy's medical stuff either. I still have his Imunization record tacked up on the bulletin board in the dining area. I have started to take it down several times, but have put it right back up. It is still there now, under Rosie's.

I finally managed to remove his beloved stuff froggy and blanket from my bed. They had remained on the foot of my bed by the wall ever since he flew. However, they are still nearby when I need them.

It has been almost 2 years now since Buddy flew. It is not really any easier for me, just different. There is no time limit or rules regarding grief, dear Sonja. Be gentle with yourself. I don't think we ever really get over losing them. We just learn to move on and live without them until we are reunited again.

If holding on to your precious boy's things help you feel connected to him, keep them.

Hugs,
Kathy

[addy]

I think keep the records, sweet Sonja. I finally spent two hours sorting through a storage box filled with papers of Zoe's. Hubby took the medical records and shredded them, some I kept, the rest I threw away. You will know when you are ready. Don't plan ahead, just one day you will wake up and say I can do this today.

We are both going through many life changes, it is hard. I'm always with you Sonja.

[apollo6]

Thank you Kathy and Addy. Like you said hopefully I will get the strength to throw the medical records away. So many transitions to make at this stage of life, closing the business, taking care of my 83 year old mother more and more, realizing we will probably sell our townhouse and move mom down the road. I just get so overwhelmed and tire more than I used to. The aches and pains cause me to not bounce back as quick anymore. And I know it is going to hit me hard when we sell our little place. Apollo grew up in this house,it is his house also.
Love you all.
Sonja,Apollo,and little Ariel
P.s. How is Koko doing and you,Addy.
And Kathy.