Re: There's only one Fella
Hi my little Fella
You would absolutely hate this weather!!I can just picture you doing your quick pee and poop and then dashing to get back inside to the cool AC.This is day 2 of blocking the surgery from my mind and just trying to remember all the wonderful things I loved about you.You and Kelsey really showed me the meaning of true love.It has been so difficult losing you-mommy is on "happy pills" now and just waiting patiently for them to kick in!.
I keep thinking about the day I found you and it always brings a smile to my face.My poor patients were rescheduled for the next day because I was on the mad hunt to get you!.I ran back to my car,blocks and blocks,to get an extra leash I had and I thought for sure I would have lost you by then.But there you were!It seems like just yesterday my baby.I took the retractable leash,made a loop,and lassood you in!
I took you home and gave you a much needed bath and you loved it.For all your toughness,you never once sneered at Kelsey or Buster.You knew you had found a home long before I realized it.I couldn't believe no one claimed you.I searched and searched for someone to adopt you.I did find one person who wanted you but I just didn't think they were "good enough".Looking back,I loved you already and you were destined to be mine.We never even had to name you cuz everyone said what a cute fella you were...so Fella it was!I loved you from the moment I found you.As I grew to love you more,I felt so sad that someone could just dump you.How could they do that to you?You had eyes only for me from the beginning.While I took care of Kelsey,you patiently waited for your turn.You knew she was "special" and needed extra care and you didn't mind being second all those years.It didn't take much to make you happy my boy.You just loved to be part of a family.You loved to snuggle up to Kelsey and you would chase Buster all around the house!I remember ex daddy saying that you just cannot sleep in the bed.He would place you on the chaise-which btw,was sooo comfortable!You would wait a minute till he got back into bed and then jump off and jump back onto the bed.This went back and forth all night till finally daddy said "fine,sleep on the bed"...I remember that exact moment-I looked down at you and grinned cuz I knew you were stubborn and persistent and no matter what,you were getting in that bed to sleep beside your momma!!:
I miss you being beside me.Romeo looks a lot like you and actually does curl up against me at night to sleep when he is not in his crate.It sounds awful but,this morning when I woke up,all I saw was a white furry little body and for a second,I closed my eyes and dreamed it was you beside me.I don't know that I will ever again experience the connection that we shared.I'm sorry that I never realized it until Kelsey passed.You were young and healthy and very independent and you understood that Kelsey needed alot of extra care.Our relationship took on a whole different meaning the day after we lost Kelsey.I remember so vividly,you coming up to me,on Feb 16,2006,and we stared into each others eyes for what seemed like an eternity.I felt the connection at that very moment with you.We each said a thousand things to one another with that long stare and I think we understood each other.That was the first day of a lifetime of being able to read each other's minds.
Ok,so now I'm sobbing.Fella,if I don't come on here to talk to you everyday,its only cuz I realize that sometimes being here makes me too emotional.But never ever think that when I'm not here that I'm not thinking of you.You are on my mind a thousand times a day.I cry everyday for you.I try to force the tears to stop and make myself think of something really special that we shared together.You were my whole life and its so difficult to go on sometimes without you.I beg you-show me some sort of a sign that you're still close to mommy..anything at all Fella...I love you my little boy.
Love and kisses to your nose and face
Mom
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because he had to get up so early.You would sleep up on top of the couch pillow right above my head.You loved that spot.Even now,I can look over and see the little indentation in the pillow where you loved to sleep.Daddy would wake up early and I could hear him whisper to you"Come on Fella,lets go out"-all I heard from you was "aggghhh"..
