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Thread: In memory of my Caseybug

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Phoenix, AZ
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    62

    Default Re: Getting ready to say goodby to my Casey

    Sande thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers, and everyone else as well. We have our good moments and bad moments but I am thankful for all of them. It seems our bad moments usually come shortly after eating, I have switched to no grain canned food hoping that will help some, she enjoys it either way and the wet food has seemed to help quite bit. Are there any particular foods that would help more that any one knows about? Obviously I realize this is not going to prolong her life any, but I'd like to make it as comfortable as possible. She's a lab so she LOVES to eat, but it can't be fun feeling I'll afterward. Then again I'm lactose intolerant in the mornings and I still will have a big glass of milk every once in a while, even knowing whats coming afterwards. :-)

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
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    Canada
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    Default Re: Getting ready to say goodby to my Casey

    Jill, I've read this thread and walked away from the computer at least three times just bawling. Your relationship with Casey is beautiful and there can be no words more eloquent than those from the heart. Yours comes from a very deep love and that is a beautiful thing. Deep love, has the power to hurt just as deeply and this is a price that while it may not seem like it later, is so worth it through all the years that you have had together.
    I wish I knew how to make it easier for you too. I don't. I didn't get out of bed for days after my Tasha passed in my arms. It was just too everything. Marianne is right though, eventually you will get up and you'll do something and it won't feel the same, but it will at least be bearable. I think that we each find whatever it is that works for us to get through the dark days. The good thing is that eventually there is light again. Maybe not the same, but still light.
    All you can really do, right now, is to enjoy each moment together. Do the things that she loves to do with you and enjoy them. When it is time, you will make that decision too, because it will be the right one then. Thinking about what decision might be made tomorrow, today, is extra heart ache, so I hope that you can at least at times, set that thought aside. I know that doesn't sound like much, but if you can set it aside for an hour, or for 30 minutes, and then another 30 minutes, that is a gift to you both.
    Thank you so much for being so open and sharing your special relationship. That too can be hard to do. I'm sure that typing those words were difficult.
    hugs, Sharlene
    Sharlene and the late great diva - Molly muffin (always missed and never forgotten)

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    510

    Default Re: Getting ready to say goodby to my Casey

    I too will be thinking and praying for you to have strength to make it through the upcoming days of pain. I am having to come to the realization that my Bo will not be here much longer. The last Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years were brought in with the thought that this probably will be the last. It brought sadness but it also brought tons of love and a special closeness that I don't know if it would have happened if I had no idea. We love our pups everyday and your love was greatly expressed in your post. Casey is undoubtedly loved and greatly cared for. We will be here with you throughout the journey and beyond.
    Belinda Creel,
    Mom of Angel Bo, My Little Latte and now our newest Toby.

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    rural central ARK
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    14,549

    Default Re: Getting ready to say goodby to my Casey

    Dear Jill,

    Everything you are feeling and thinking and worrying about is absolutely normal. Thankfully, we humans are the ones who have to bear this burden because our babies have no idea what is to come. They only know when they are loved, when they get goodies to eat, that those belly rubs sure feel nice, and, yes, when they feel bad, and when their moms and dads are sad. Our babies live in the moment without the fear of the future or dread of separation. This is our burden to bear, not theirs.

    They know that time is not really concrete and linear the way we often perceive it but rather it is fluid and circular. They know that every ending is simply a new beginning, that we are all connected, all One from One, and they know these things in the very fiber of their Souls. So, for them, there is no need to worry about what the next moment may bring or not bring...they know they will always Be, that we are never truly apart. Our babies can teach us so much.

    From my own experiences, there is no real way to prepare for death. When we have plenty of time to accept we often think we have steeled ourselves yet when the time comes, we find we weren’t nearly as prepared as we had thought. We try to think about things that will be different and how we will cope with them but it seems there are always things we didn’t consider at all, little things that had become so much the norm we had stopped connecting them to our loved one. But when they are gone, those little “norms” are suddenly absent. But through the whole process there is a hard yet glorious beauty if we can only open our eyes and hearts to see.

    I just went through the same thing recently with my Tasha and started to tell you about it then thought you may prefer to read it on your own time. So, if you want to read her story you can find it here – http://www.k9cushings.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4652

    And her memorial here - http://www.k9cushings.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4713

    Remember, Jill, you are never alone, not even on this part of the journey. On those dark, lonely nights when your fears seem more than you can face, just look around and you will see your family here surrounding you and Casey. We will be by your side every step of the way. Should you feel the edge of the cliff is much too close, just reach out and your hands will be clasped in ours.

    Hugs,
    Leslie
    "May you know that absence is full of tender presence and that nothing is ever lost or forgotten." John O'Donahue, "Eternal Echoes"

    Death is not a changing of worlds as most imagine, as much as the walls of this world infinitely expanding.

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Phoenix, AZ
    Posts
    62

    Default Re: Getting ready to say goodby to my Casey

    Just read Tash's memorial, it is beautiful. I can certainly relate with happy puppy syndrome or HPS as I call it. When we were at the vet's office the other day for the ultrasound they said she was the happiest puppy they've seen all day. That's my Caseybug for you though always happy, tail wagging, and bright-eyed. I can also relate to the food list as when the time comes she will get all those things she ever wanted. However if I'm honest with myself there's really not much I've ever denied her, she had me wrapped around her little toe from day one and she always knew it. We've had some good days recently and like yourself, I feel hope rush in, then she will have one of her tremors in the back of here head, I can hear her teeth grit and reality comes rushing back in. I've asked her dad to help me know when it's time just in case I put blinders on and don't realize it. For now however, we are taking each day or hour at a time. Thank you all again for allowing me to share and for your thoughts and responses. Jill

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    Dallas, TX
    Posts
    880

    Default Re: Getting ready to say goodby to my Casey

    Oh Jill,
    You are going thru one of the hardest things. I don't think you can ever prepare yourself fully to say good bye. I know it is so painful..

    I would say take LOTS of pictures with you two together & cuddle as much as possible. You will have Casey in your heart forever.

    I know preparing to say goodbye to your best friend is the hardest thing in the entire world. It is like loosing a big piece of your heart & soul. We are all here for you.

    hugs..
    Amy & my sweet boy Boriss (Cushings Diagnosed 8/30/12 & Trilo start 20mg 9/8/12 switched to Vetoryl 30mg 10/8/12)
    Grateful for every day I have with my baby Boriss. I am lucky to have so much love in my life.

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
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    Canada
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    Default Re: Getting ready to say goodby to my Casey

    Hi Jill, treasure those moments when you can just enjoy each other. You Will know when it is time. One day, one hour, just treasure it all Casey is just a happy puppy that sometimes has a few tremors. She knows nothing else, mommy and daddy love her, she is happy.

    hugs,
    Sharlene
    Sharlene and the late great diva - Molly muffin (always missed and never forgotten)

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Omaha, Nebraska
    Posts
    1,194

    Default Re: Getting ready to say goodby to my Casey

    Dear Jill,

    I have started to reply to you several times, but I have been crying so hard that I couldn't finish, and am typing now through tears. I am so sorry for everything you are going through and I can relate to everything you have been posting about Casey so much. While I have two Miniature Schnauzers now, my first born was a black lab named Dakota. I too do not have children, so my parenting has always revolved around my dogs. I love my pups now with all my heart, but Dakota was what my vet called "a once in a lifetime dog", she actually said that. Dakota suddenly became ill with coughing symptoms, and when she coughed up a bit of blood, I took her in to the vet immediately. Chest films were done and showed she had a large mass, which the vet felt was hemangiosarcoma based on all her symptoms. There are no effective treatments for this type of cancer, and it was a very poor prognosis. The symptoms progressed very quickly, and much sooner than I anticipated I was faced with the hardest and most gut wrenching decision of my life. I was completely unprepared.

    My wish for you is that you are able to focus on the here and now and spend quality time with Casey, and keep the worry under control. It is so so difficult to do that. I was not very successful, and it is my biggest regret. I feel relieved to read that you are not working right now so you can spend a lot of time with Casey. I was not able to do that due to working, and that continues to haunt me years later. I am also happy that you have your husband for support, so you will not face the difficult days ahead alone like I was.

    I would like to echo Marianne's and Leslie's posts, what beautiful heartfelt words, and I couldn't possibly express it any better. Leslie's words below particularly hit home for me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Squirt's Mom View Post
    Remember, Jill, you are never alone, not even on this part of the journey. On those dark, lonely nights when your fears seem more than you can face, just look around and you will see your family here surrounding you and Casey. We will be by your side every step of the way. Should you feel the edge of the cliff is much too close, just reach out and your hands will be clasped in ours.
    Since I have joined this forum, so many times I have wished that I had this wonderful family when I went through Dakota's illness and loss. The anniversary of her loss is approaching, and I struggle every year. I am sure this is adding to the heartbreak that I feel for you, because I can relate so much to all of your feelings and thoughts about Casey.

    My heart goes out to you, and I will keep you and Casey in my prayers. Know that I, too, will be by your side in the hours and days to come.

    Love and hugs,

    Tina

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    132

    Default Re: Getting ready to say goodby to my Casey

    Jill,

    The homeopathic vet gave me some piils called FOUR MARVELS...( Si Miao San) 550 mg tablets.
    Bagel is diabetic and can't take prednisone...
    She has me giving her two pills AM and two PM..and Bagel weighs about 28 now...She said she thought she could buy her a couple of months...
    We have just gone thru the bottle and ordered a new one..You can find it online as well as a homeopathic vet...My first experience with this..

    but we have had a fabulous December..,.Seems to slow the cancer...
    I cook her chicken thighs and brown rice, also these center cut pork chops that Aldi's carries...I drain the grease and run the meat under warm water...sometimes ground turkey too....she is eating mostly protein but it's been a great month...
    Her appetite really picked up when she started taking these pills...She doesn't poop a lot but it IS all protein that she is eating...
    Just thought I would offer some ideas...
    I look at her and just can't believe there is ANYTHING bad going on inside...
    Sande

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    bronx ny
    Posts
    396

    Default Re: Getting ready to say goodby to my Casey

    know that you have a wonderful support system here for yourself and casey...i found this was the best place for me with my milo who was just 6.we are all here to help,love,listen,cry and share our stories here about our fur babies.know our hearts and prayers are with you.sending you peace,love and light..patty (milo)meka xoxox

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