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Thread: Holidays can be hard...

  1. #241
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    rural central ARK
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    14,549

    Default Re: Holidays can be hard...

    Big ole sobby hugs, Sharlene.
    "May you know that absence is full of tender presence and that nothing is ever lost or forgotten." John O'Donahue, "Eternal Echoes"

    Death is not a changing of worlds as most imagine, as much as the walls of this world infinitely expanding.

  2. #242
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    York, PA.
    Posts
    11,037

    Default Re: Holidays can be hard...

    Sending loving bugs too.

  3. #243
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    16,150

    Default Re: Holidays can be hard...

    I know my husband is just as devastated as I am just doesn't show it the same way. I'm glad that you know the same now too Joan. It does help to have someone there to share the sorrow with when needed.

    Holidays are hard for sure. Too many of us this year going through the same things in our own ways.

    I think it is going to be interesting to discover who was the leader doing what at your house Marianne.

    Hugs to you too Shana.

    and heck. I feel like a group hug! We all sink or and/or swim together
    Sharlene and the late great diva - Molly muffin (always missed and never forgotten)

  4. #244
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Location
    Glen Cove, NY
    Posts
    1,941

    Default Re: Holidays can be hard...

    Big hugs for sure...I am hanging on to all of you!
    Joan, mom to my Angel Lena, Angel Gable, Angel Phoenix, Angel Doree, Cooper, Sibble, and now Raina.

  5. #245
    Join Date
    Nov 2015
    Location
    Mandeville, La
    Posts
    129

    Default Re: Holidays can be hard...

    Sharlene, that had to be difficult finding Mollys coats so unexpectedly. Hearing that makes me wish Tank had more things that I could have saved. All I have is a stuffed turtle, his collar and his bed, which for me is something I will most likely keep forever. It was very expensive (memory foam) and I never worked so hard to keep anything as clean as that bed during the last couple of months he was alive. He always peed on it when I left him home alone. I had to keep it perfect. I couldn't afford another one like it. I bought it for him not long after he was diagnosed with Cushing's and noticed he was walking a lot more just after the first week.

    I haven't cried from missing him in a long time. I can only think. Lots of memories, awesome ones, and I get lost in my mind for a while. I remember things from when he was just a puppy, that seem so real as if it was happening right at that very moment. Memories that I never thought twice about before and now I can't stop thinking about them but don't want to. I am so used to living with bad memories from my past. I just hope he continues to keep the negative ones far away. He is not even here and he is protecting me. I never thought I would say this, but I can't wait to get settled and find a permanent place to live so I can foster senior dogs. Tank may have taken my heart with him but he didn't go as far away as I thought.

    I wish I could have been here for Thanksgiving to hear all the stories. I did read them all today. My thoughts are with you all, always.
    Last edited by tank&kat; 12-10-2016 at 05:43 PM.

  6. #246
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    San Diego, Ca
    Posts
    2,133

    Default Re: Holidays can be hard...

    When you have loved so deeply, you fall even harder. It is normal to feel the way you do. It has been four years since my Apollo passed and I still have a lot of his things. And yes I call them my Apollo moments when the tears flow. It comforts me and I don't care what people think. That is why I give all a big hug and love to every one of you. Celebrate their beautiful lives. They will always be in your heart and soul. Love Sonja and Apollo

  7. #247
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Georgia
    Posts
    15,292

    Default Re: Holidays can be hard...

    Oh Sonja, we all thank you so much for your sweet words.

    Well...the tree went up on Sunday and guess what, Luna hasn't bothered it at all. Without her sidekick here, I guess it just doesn't hold the same curiosity for her . We haven't yet added the real candy canes, tho, so maybe their smell may end up luring her. But for now, no ex-pen needed. How crazy -- now I wish we did need the ex-pen because that would mean things were more like normal. Sometimes you just can't win.

    But the tree is beautiful. And we put Peg's ornament at the very top, right below the angel. It is her baby picture. She had the sweetest little puppy face.

  8. #248
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Location
    Glen Cove, NY
    Posts
    1,941

    Default Re: Holidays can be hard...

    Same with us, Marianne...so far Cooper and Sibbie have not bothered the tree. Lena never did, and my Gable wouldn't even think of it!

    All Lena's ornaments are grouped together...the picture of her first Christmas with us surrounded by all the others. I look at her sweet little face every day and wish I could hold her in my arms again...then the tears start.

    I did start making my shortbreads. Gable took up Lena's watch and lay on the floor waiting for a taste of the dough. As soon as Sibbie realized that was the routine, she kept coming back in as soon as she heard the mixer stop and stood on her back legs waiting for a little taste of the dough. I had thought of not making them, but I think Lee will be happy that I did. It wasn't the same, though. It just doesn't feel like Christmas this year.

    As I look at last year's pictures, I can see how much she had declined. Looking at them now, I can see that she wasn't feeling well. She looked so tired...but I would still give anything to have her back, even for a little while so I could tell her goodbye. I miss her so much.
    Joan, mom to my Angel Lena, Angel Gable, Angel Phoenix, Angel Doree, Cooper, Sibble, and now Raina.

  9. #249
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    105

    Default Re: Holidays can be hard...

    Its hard to believe that it is almost Christmas again. And Again I will not put up a Christmas tree. I am alone so there is no need. I think about the Christmas past and me and my baby`s little tree. It was just a small artificial tree and over the years some of the needles feel off and some of the branches did`t look quite right any more. I told my baby it was our Charlie Brown Christmas Tree. But after the lights and ornaments were put on , it was beautiful. I would pick my baby up and show her the tree. Perhaps it was just me, but her eyes would light up and she seemed to smile. Even tho I will not have a tree ,I decided to bring out and display some of her ornaments. Looking at the ornaments in my hands bring tears to my eyes. I find I am not only crying for myself but for Marianne, Joan, Sonja and all the other moms and dads who will not have their babies for Christmas. Sending you a big hug back Sonja.

  10. #250
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Location
    Glen Cove, NY
    Posts
    1,941

    Default Re: Holidays can be hard...

    Why don't you put up the tree anyway and hang her ornaments on it...I wish you could join us for Christmas. We could cry together and talk about our babies.

    It's so hard...everything is before and after for me...before Lee died; after Lee died.

    It will be 10 months on the 19th, and Sibbie will be one year old on the 19th...so, so hard. I will feel guilty celebrating Sibbie's birthday; and guilty if I don't...
    Joan, mom to my Angel Lena, Angel Gable, Angel Phoenix, Angel Doree, Cooper, Sibble, and now Raina.

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