Re: Holidays can be hard...
That saturation point has been reached where I just wish I could have some alone time. It feels like I haven't had that time since Molly passed to just mourn without people everywhere and someone needing something from me that I no longer feel like I have to give. The unconditional love well feels dry and I know it isn't but it feels that way.
So now I'm mad. Mad that I haven't had that time to say goodbye to her, that there would never have been enough time anyhow to say goodbye or to mourn her not being here. So mad at feeling lost and that there is nothing I or anyone else can do to make it better.
Boy, do I know this feeling, Sharlene...it sucks. 2016 is almost over and Lena has been gone 10 months. I'm afraid to move into the next year, I feel like if I accept it being 2017, I am accepting the fact that she is gone and I just don't want to!
2016 will forever be the year I lost my baby.
My sister gave me a sign for Christmas with beautiful words about the loss of the dogs in our life...but it's not quite right. It speaks of all the dogs I've lost and not this one of my heart; this one loss that has shattered it and won't mend; this one beloved creature who I miss every single day. I think she was surprised that I didn't break down and cry...its beautiful and true, but not quite right.
Sometimes a gift means different things to the giver and receiver. They mean well...I would have bawled like you if anyone had given me an ornament with Lena on it. I have the one from when she was a puppy that has been on the tree since her first Christmas, and that's the only one I need for now.
Joan, mom to my Angel Lena, Angel Gable, Angel Phoenix, Angel Doree, Cooper, Sibble, and now Raina.