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labblab
05-10-2009, 11:42 PM
RESOURCES FOR SUPPORT, MEMORIALS, AND COUNSELING

In addition to our support forum here at the Canine Cushing's Board, there are a number of organizations and websites that offer services and resources to pet owners who are grieving the loss of their beloved companions. Listed below are some "starting points." We will be adding to this list as time goes on. Please let us know if you have found an organization or resource that has been particularly helpful to you.


Support, Information, and Memorials:

http://www.petloss.com/
http://www.pet-loss.net/
http://www.lightning-strike.com/
http://www.whiterosepet.com/petloss.php

The University of Pennsylvania Veterinary School (http://www.vet.upenn.edu/SpecialtyCareServices/GriefCounseling/PetLossBereavementInformationforPetOwners/tabid/1951/Default.aspx)maintains this very helpful collection of articles regarding pet loss and bereavement:

•The Human–Animal Bond, Attachment and Loss
•Pets, Grief and Mourning
•Myths and Realities of Pet Loss
•Talking to Your Children about Pet Loss
•Choosing Euthanasia
•How Soon Should You Get a New Pet?
•Animals Grieve Too
•The Rainbow Bridge
•Memorializing Your Pet
•Sharing the Story of Your Pet

The ASPCA maintains this supportive link for pet owners facing difficult decisions about end-of-life issues: End-of-Life Care FAQs (http://www.aspca.org/pet-care/pet-loss/end-of-life-care-faq.html)


Veterinary School Hotlines:

American Veterinary Medical Association: Pet Loss Support Hotlines. (http://www.avma.org/reference/hotlines.asp)
This page contains links to vet school hotlines across the country.


Professional Counseling:

Sometimes the grief that we feel may be so intense or so long lasting that it is helpful to talk with a professional counselor. For many of us, our dear pets have been the one constant support in our daily lives. When all else goes wrong, we have had them to love and to love us back. When we lose them, suddenly we may find it difficult to cope with our other problems or burdens. If you find yourself struggling, the help of a professional counselor or therapist can be invaluable. There are many types of "helping" professionals -- for instance, psychologists, clinical social workers, marriage and family therapists, and licensed professional counselors. The important thing is to find a professional with whom you feel comfortable.

How to find a helping professional? Some of the websites above offer links to therapists with interests in pet loss. Also, you can always ask your vet if he or she can refer you to a trained professional. However, if you or your spouse are employed, you may also want to find our whether your employer has an "Employee Assistance Program." Typically, such programs allow employees/family members to make initial contact with a counselor who helps to evaluate their problems and then offer appropriate referrals. If your employer provides insurance coverage for therapy, the "EAP" counselor can help make sure that the referral is to a professional who is covered by your insurance.

If you want to find a counselor or a therapist "on your own," here are some national referral resources. For each of these sites, once you reach the homepage, you will find a link to search for counselors in your area.

American Psychological Association (http://locator.apa.org/)
National Association of Social Workers (http://www.helpstartshere.org/find-a-social-worker)
American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (http://www.therapistlocator.net/index.asp)

In addition, many individual states have Licensed Professional Counselor associations. You can check this out by looking in the telephone directory or performing an internet search for your state.

Dawn
08-27-2009, 11:31 PM
Hi I am extremely in denial at the moment that the eventuality will one day occur, and I would like to thank you most sincerely for your kindest at putting these resources here - MANY THANKS

labblab
12-04-2009, 12:34 PM
We would like to collect a set of resources addressing the grief that our other pets may suffer at the time that a companion passes. Many thanks to Debbie ("StarDeb55") for directing us to this article by Maggie Johnson:

Do Pets Grieve? (http://www.vet.upenn.edu/PennVet/PennVetConnects/SocialWorkPetBereavementServices/LossBereavementforPetOwners/tabid/624/Default.aspx#Animals_Grieve_Too)

Thanks to Jane ("Franklin's Mum") for these two links:

Grief in Dogs (http://www.petplace.com/article-printer-friendly.aspx?id=631)
Can You Explain a Pet's Death to Another Pet? (http://www.petplace.com/article-printer-friendly.aspx?id=4346)

Leslie ("Squirt's Mom") has kindly supplied this link:

Do Pets Grieve? (found under "Grief and Pet Loss") (http://www.petloss.com/muns.htm)

And Shelba ("sunimist") offers yet more support:

Do Pets Grieve? (http://rainbowsbridge.com/Grief_Support_Center/Grief_Support/Do_Pets_Grieve.htm)

If any of you find other writings or websites that are helpful, please let us know so that we can add them here, as well.

Marianne

jrepac
11-17-2010, 01:46 PM
Bumping up.

Thanks for this; the U of Penn site has a lot of good stuff...I know I have Wallace Sife's book "The Loss of a Pet" tucked away somewhere. The early days and weeks are very tough to adapt to. It is true, that bonds with our pets may be stronger than those with humans...it's never "just a dog" or "just a cat"...it's a relationship and you have very fond memories. Even tho' you are sad that they are no longer with you.

As I recently pulled out all my dog photos to reminisce, I think I am going to make 3 Aussie scrapbooks and include little passages. It will be a nice way to remember them and honor their lives. Mandy was the one with the most personality, and had a very full, long life, but her predecessors were great dogs as well.

mytil
11-18-2010, 07:46 AM
I know exactly what you mean - my bond with my Mytilda is still very strong and not a day goes by that I do not think of her. It is a strange thing, but one of my "girls" Myclan has so much of Mytilda in her it is uncanny; almost like part of Mytilda is inside this little girl.

I think it is a great idea to make the scrapbooks!

My continued ((((((hugs))))))
Terry

bkdice
11-19-2010, 11:25 AM
Not a day goes by that I don't miss my boy, even 16 months after his death. I am sure I will always miss him. I created a website to electronically 'scrapbook'. It documents his long happy life, his struggles with cushings and cancer, and the incredible grief. I don't want to forget any part of our life together. I also did one of those hard cover photo books from Shutterfly. It's the easiest way to scrapbook, from someone with little patience. :)

I put together a page on Grief and Loss (http://rememberingniko.wordpress.com/saying-goodbye/grief-and-healing/), as well as anticipatory grief (http://rememberingniko.wordpress.com/saying-goodbye/anticipatory-grief/), and have been touched lately to have several people tell me how much it helped them.

We all just want to know that we are not alone when suffering so severely from a loss that not many understand. Pet loss grief is shrugged off by society, and ignored even more than any other type of grief.

I take the bad memories with the good ones, as they have all shaped me. And for those in the midst of grief, may you find support and understanding and never feel alone.

I like this poem... so I will share it here. :)

Don’t tell me that you understand
Don’t tell me that you know,
Don’t tell me that I will survive
Or how I will surely grow.

Don’t tell me that this is just a test
That I am truly blessed
That I am chosen for this task
Apart from all the rest.

Don’t come at me with answers
That can only come from me,
Don’t tell me how my grief will pass,
That I will soon be free.

Don’t stand in pious judgment
Of the bounds I must untie,
Don’t tell me how to suffer
And don’t tell me how to cry!

My life is filled with selfishness,
My pain is all I see,
But, I need you now,
I need your love, unconditionally.

Accept me in my ups and downs,
I need someone to share,
Just hold my hand and let me cry,
And say, “My friend, I care.”

By Joanetta Hendel
Bereavement Magazine

jrepac
11-19-2010, 01:30 PM
That's a wonderful poem Bettina....so true! We become so attached to our furball friends....it's very hard to part.

Jeff & Angel Mandy

labblab
01-18-2012, 07:51 AM
Bumping up.